what I mean is this: does ANYONE remember a really special holiday memory? Does anyone remember when the whole family is together? or when there's an obnoxious relative that you see only occassionally but you like him/her just the same?????
I remember back in 1990 when the whole family (including my other 6 brothers and sisters) got together, even my oldest sister who has lived in Salt Lake City since 1974 (she's 56 & has 3 kids). It wasn't so much the presents but the fun we had being all together and being with all my nieces and nephews. Another fun XMAS was 1997. I got 4 days off and I remember playing Euchre with my nieces, nephews, brother, sister-in-law. Back then it was the same as it was now where I worked a bunch of hours but things let up during the holidays and I got a chance to take a few days off. In 1997, I was happily married with one child. We just had a wonderful time. There was no need to think about dating in the future (you don't have to think about that shit when your married); my boss wasn't that great, but better than some bosses I had, we weren't in too much debt. The future looked bright.
It can still be bright if I play it smart, work a bunch of hours and fall in love. I still feel young, but there's issues that I never even thought of when I was a 20something. I really appreciate that I have very loving, conforming kids. They all do well in school, and my oldest son's health is much better.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
C'mon tell me about the holidays; I need you
There's very divergent views about the holidays that occur at the end of 1 year and the dawn of the next year. Many people, perhaps most love the holidays and the time when families from far flung areas all come back inside one house to celebrate. Many think it's the time to celebrate the birth of Jesus and the amazing, positive, far-reaching impact he has had through 2 milleniums.
Others are upset about the holidays. The holidays are a reminder of how dysfunctional their families are. Or they're reminded of how rough, traumatic and screwed up their lives are. XMAS brings no pleasure or solace and the new year is a reminder of a bleak future.
Many others fall between these 2 poles.
What do you think?
I've been very fortunate to have a lot of intelligent, interesting people write and share their views on a wide variety of topics. I would dare say that I've made some friends. I'm surprised, even moved, with the depth of concern a few have shown me.
The year isn't over, but it's a year of progress for me. There's some worrisome challenges that I must face, but they seem more manageable than the ones I faced back in Jan. of 2005. More will be discussed about my opinions of the year later.
I'm just listening to NPR. They're discussing the fact that the region/people most affected by Hurricane Katrina don't even have a sense that the holidays are coming up. So much devastation........
Others are upset about the holidays. The holidays are a reminder of how dysfunctional their families are. Or they're reminded of how rough, traumatic and screwed up their lives are. XMAS brings no pleasure or solace and the new year is a reminder of a bleak future.
Many others fall between these 2 poles.
What do you think?
I've been very fortunate to have a lot of intelligent, interesting people write and share their views on a wide variety of topics. I would dare say that I've made some friends. I'm surprised, even moved, with the depth of concern a few have shown me.
The year isn't over, but it's a year of progress for me. There's some worrisome challenges that I must face, but they seem more manageable than the ones I faced back in Jan. of 2005. More will be discussed about my opinions of the year later.
I'm just listening to NPR. They're discussing the fact that the region/people most affected by Hurricane Katrina don't even have a sense that the holidays are coming up. So much devastation........
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Profiles of co-workers, Part 2
JEAN
At the hospital, I am called a telemetry monitor technician (hereinafter "tele tech"). Among the tele techs, there has been turnover and sick call ins and 1 tele tech is sometimes missing from the shift when it definitely takes 2 people. 2 teletechs to watch between 70-100 patients. Many times, we've had an excellent nurse named Jean fill in as tele tech when the 2nd tele tech is gone.
It's always a sweet pleasure to work with Jean. She looks like a thinner version of Halle Berry with straight, short hair. She's one of those awesome people (they are usually female, it seems) who illuminate a positive, happy glow to others they come into contact. They smile a lot, they are not rude, negative or backstabbing. They appeal to their counterparts' better instincts. They seem to literally glow and feeling that glow, you feel happy just being around them and even more lucky that you work with them! Jean is so sweet she would never complain about the room being too cold (guys, in general seem to like a room considerably cooler than women do). But since, I admire her so much I would never subject her to the room getting too cold so I make sure it's 75 or warmer. I worked with her tonight and no matter how much work there was or how serious the patients problems are, it was a wonderful shift because of the sweet co-worker I was with.
Jean is happily married w/ 2 daughters which is obviously no surprise because someone that sweet couldn't stay single!
At the hospital, I am called a telemetry monitor technician (hereinafter "tele tech"). Among the tele techs, there has been turnover and sick call ins and 1 tele tech is sometimes missing from the shift when it definitely takes 2 people. 2 teletechs to watch between 70-100 patients. Many times, we've had an excellent nurse named Jean fill in as tele tech when the 2nd tele tech is gone.
It's always a sweet pleasure to work with Jean. She looks like a thinner version of Halle Berry with straight, short hair. She's one of those awesome people (they are usually female, it seems) who illuminate a positive, happy glow to others they come into contact. They smile a lot, they are not rude, negative or backstabbing. They appeal to their counterparts' better instincts. They seem to literally glow and feeling that glow, you feel happy just being around them and even more lucky that you work with them! Jean is so sweet she would never complain about the room being too cold (guys, in general seem to like a room considerably cooler than women do). But since, I admire her so much I would never subject her to the room getting too cold so I make sure it's 75 or warmer. I worked with her tonight and no matter how much work there was or how serious the patients problems are, it was a wonderful shift because of the sweet co-worker I was with.
Jean is happily married w/ 2 daughters which is obviously no surprise because someone that sweet couldn't stay single!
Positive Profiles, Part One
Ok, I was pretty negative about my co-worker Mary. I stand by what I said about her but I want to be positive, because it's more in my nature to sit up and cheer for someone rather than "throwing rocks" at them. So I am going to profile some of the people I work with. The hospital reminds me of the very small town, Ithaca, I grew up where my high school graduating class was 29 people and the town had a population of about 60 and consisted of a church, tavern, farm, and about 28 houses. Ingalls has the same small town ways where a lot of people care about you and will say hi or wave to you when you pass them by. If you wave to someone on the streets of Chicago, they think your a little "off". Of course, Ithaca had its share of pettiness, small mindedness and gossip just like any small town and just like Ingalls as well. But I like working there and the people there are pretty nice to be around.
TRUDY
Trudy is one of the most intelligent persons I know. Ever since I was separated, then divorced, I have been drawn to calm, cool, collected woman (because that's the antithesis of my ex who has a great knack for "flying off the handle" and a true talent for starting fights) . If a dictionary had a definition of "calm, cool, collected person" Trudy's picture would be there. Trudy was derided by snap-judgment, superficial Mary as having "no personality". How wrong Mary was! Trudy has a great sense of humor, with funny perceptive observations. Some guys would probably not think of Trudy as being a "hottie". She has bookish glasses, highlighted breezy hair and her body suggests someone who isn't obsessed with being at the gym each & every day. But those are the very traits that humanize her make me fond of her more. She has another feature that I can't stop thinking about. Before our co-worker, Hani was murdered (see post of 8/21/05 "Where to Begin...?") he took us to an Arabic bar where there was great music, belly dancing, and at other times everyone could get up and dance. Trudy, Hani, Evan and our other friends danced. At one point, during the dancing I held Trudy's hand. My God, hers was the softest hand I ever held. I felt incredibly lucky to hold it. Every now and then, I'll look at her hands and instantly flashback to that sublime moment back in May.
It's very, very unlikely that I'll be more than a casual friend in Trudy's view. She wisely stated that co-workers should not get serious, but should be just friends. I can't seem to make her like me anymore than she does now, can't seem to get through her calm, placid exterior, & have given up trying. I only saw her lose her "coolness" once which was during the time after Hani's death. The day after his murder, Trudy called me. She didn't know if I knew about his death. We spoke about what should be done after his death. We talked about reaching out to Hani's Muslim family. "They need to know how much he was loved!!" Trudy exclaimed. Her compelling suggestion is something I'll remember because it was a dramatic departure from the cool, collected demeanor she shows 99% of the time. Of course, it was after her friend's death so naturally she's not going to be aloof about that! She even went to the ghetto where the nightclub is where he died. She got some criticism for taking that risk. My friends didn't want to lose Trudy too!
Another reason I am impressed with her is that she is the only person I know who subscribes to the Wilson Quarterly and the only one I can talk to about NPR. When her & I are interested about some topic, it's been awesome because we've had some fascinating conversations.
There's also another reason why I don't think I would ever get serious with Trudy. She's an agnostic. I asked her once if she believed in heaven & hell. She replied,"Well, I definitely don't believe in hell. There may be a heaven because you hear about those people who have a near-death experience and the supernatural presence is something they witness. But they could just be hallucinating." I can't agree with her viewpoint.
I want to make her a believer, but that is beyond my capability as well. But she really is an unforgettable person. She is not only a nurse but she was also honorably discharged from the Air Force as a MAJOR years ago. I've resolved to merely be a casual friend to this attractive, intelligent woman with the soft hands. There's nothing else I can do, not even if I tried.
TRUDY
Trudy is one of the most intelligent persons I know. Ever since I was separated, then divorced, I have been drawn to calm, cool, collected woman (because that's the antithesis of my ex who has a great knack for "flying off the handle" and a true talent for starting fights) . If a dictionary had a definition of "calm, cool, collected person" Trudy's picture would be there. Trudy was derided by snap-judgment, superficial Mary as having "no personality". How wrong Mary was! Trudy has a great sense of humor, with funny perceptive observations. Some guys would probably not think of Trudy as being a "hottie". She has bookish glasses, highlighted breezy hair and her body suggests someone who isn't obsessed with being at the gym each & every day. But those are the very traits that humanize her make me fond of her more. She has another feature that I can't stop thinking about. Before our co-worker, Hani was murdered (see post of 8/21/05 "Where to Begin...?") he took us to an Arabic bar where there was great music, belly dancing, and at other times everyone could get up and dance. Trudy, Hani, Evan and our other friends danced. At one point, during the dancing I held Trudy's hand. My God, hers was the softest hand I ever held. I felt incredibly lucky to hold it. Every now and then, I'll look at her hands and instantly flashback to that sublime moment back in May.
It's very, very unlikely that I'll be more than a casual friend in Trudy's view. She wisely stated that co-workers should not get serious, but should be just friends. I can't seem to make her like me anymore than she does now, can't seem to get through her calm, placid exterior, & have given up trying. I only saw her lose her "coolness" once which was during the time after Hani's death. The day after his murder, Trudy called me. She didn't know if I knew about his death. We spoke about what should be done after his death. We talked about reaching out to Hani's Muslim family. "They need to know how much he was loved!!" Trudy exclaimed. Her compelling suggestion is something I'll remember because it was a dramatic departure from the cool, collected demeanor she shows 99% of the time. Of course, it was after her friend's death so naturally she's not going to be aloof about that! She even went to the ghetto where the nightclub is where he died. She got some criticism for taking that risk. My friends didn't want to lose Trudy too!
Another reason I am impressed with her is that she is the only person I know who subscribes to the Wilson Quarterly and the only one I can talk to about NPR. When her & I are interested about some topic, it's been awesome because we've had some fascinating conversations.
There's also another reason why I don't think I would ever get serious with Trudy. She's an agnostic. I asked her once if she believed in heaven & hell. She replied,"Well, I definitely don't believe in hell. There may be a heaven because you hear about those people who have a near-death experience and the supernatural presence is something they witness. But they could just be hallucinating." I can't agree with her viewpoint.
I want to make her a believer, but that is beyond my capability as well. But she really is an unforgettable person. She is not only a nurse but she was also honorably discharged from the Air Force as a MAJOR years ago. I've resolved to merely be a casual friend to this attractive, intelligent woman with the soft hands. There's nothing else I can do, not even if I tried.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Murphy's Law on Sex,.... fulfilled! HELP
You all are familiar w/ Murphy's Laws like "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." Well he had many sayings like in Murphy's Laws on Work he wrote, "A pat on the back is only a few inches away from a kick in the pants." or "If you carry a legal pad around and look concerned, you can go anywhere in the office."
Then there's Murphy's Laws on Sex like, "Love is a matter of Chemistry, sex is a matter of physics."
The one I've been thinking about ever since Wednesday is "Love discriminates AGAINST the shy and the ugly!" Ok, so what does it discriminate against more: shyness or ugliness? We could debate that for a decade.
Anyway, it's discriminating against me because I'm shy. Let me tell you what happened on the train.
A week or so ago we had a delay at the train station where the train taking us all home ( & by us I mean a popular 6:15 pm train that carries well over 300 people). I saw this tall, statuesque lady. Now most guys wouldn't be that attracted to her but I most definitely was. She was in her late 40s, early 50s, she is 6 ft, 2", weighs over 200 lbs, but definitely not more than 250. ( I have a knack for doing a good job of guessing weight) so I came up to her (who we shall call Madame Statuesque) and asked her how long we would have to wait for the train and she told me. Then, a little later, she talked to her friend who was at least 50, but also nice looking. I looked hard for Madame Statuesque's left hand. Alas, no ring on the finger next to her pinkie. I couldn't talk to her much because she was talking to her friend. & who wants to deal with an annoying, chatty stranger?
Then Wed. evening, there she was again, all by herself. She looked a little concerned. I looked again for her left hand and still no ring. I told her it was nice the train wasn't as late as it was the other night, and she politely agreed. When the crowd entered the train to sit down, it wasn't my intention to sit down next to her. I wasn't ready, I felt uncertain, I felt shy! But there were no seats so that you could sit by my lonesome so I decided to sit in the empty seat by her.
Well, I was feeling very shy and not wanting to say a damn thing.
One thing I wanted to find out was where she lived (approximately). I learned she doesn't live to far from me. They make you pay for your train ride depending on how far you are from Chicago (if your ride starts in Chicago) A region inside Chicago will be in Zones "A", "B" or "C". The ride for people in A, B or C will be pretty cheap. I am in Zone D and my ride is more expensive. Well I learned (when we both showed our tickets to the conductor) that Madame Stautuesque is in Zone E; obviously adjacent to Zone D so I don't live that far from her even though I still don't know what town she lives in.
Well, I couldn't go the whole ride without saying something to her. She might think I'm a creep or something. Plus, if I could somehow make her feel like she likes being around me or at least comfortable around me. Well, she didn't have a problem sitting next to me as she enjoyed reading her Chicago Sun Times as I was reading the Chicago Tribune.
But I was supposed to introduce myself, I was supposed to ask her out for a cup of coffee, I was supposed to do something nice and not too intimate, but I was worried. I didn't want to find out she was one of those sneaky type of women who are married but don't have the gumption or the resolve to wear their wedding ring. I didn't want to find out she has a boyfriend who she's been with for 25 yrs. I didn't want to find out that she had no interest in me!
It's not like I just want to get into her pants. That's pretty facile; I want to get to know her, I want to date her, but I don't want to hear "NO". I don't want to "go out on a limb" so there's the dilemma.
I knew I had to say something, but I was too shy to follow the above script. So I acted "safe" and we compared the Sun Times to the Tribune. We also talked about the new craze Soduku puzzles. That was it then I got off the train and went home. I didn't feel crushed, I didn't feel giddy at my new date (b/c there isn't one), I just felt like I carried a little hope away, but is there any???????
So what do I say to her the next time I see her standing by the train?? I have to "go out on the limb" but what do I say?
Then there's Murphy's Laws on Sex like, "Love is a matter of Chemistry, sex is a matter of physics."
The one I've been thinking about ever since Wednesday is "Love discriminates AGAINST the shy and the ugly!" Ok, so what does it discriminate against more: shyness or ugliness? We could debate that for a decade.
Anyway, it's discriminating against me because I'm shy. Let me tell you what happened on the train.
A week or so ago we had a delay at the train station where the train taking us all home ( & by us I mean a popular 6:15 pm train that carries well over 300 people). I saw this tall, statuesque lady. Now most guys wouldn't be that attracted to her but I most definitely was. She was in her late 40s, early 50s, she is 6 ft, 2", weighs over 200 lbs, but definitely not more than 250. ( I have a knack for doing a good job of guessing weight) so I came up to her (who we shall call Madame Statuesque) and asked her how long we would have to wait for the train and she told me. Then, a little later, she talked to her friend who was at least 50, but also nice looking. I looked hard for Madame Statuesque's left hand. Alas, no ring on the finger next to her pinkie. I couldn't talk to her much because she was talking to her friend. & who wants to deal with an annoying, chatty stranger?
Then Wed. evening, there she was again, all by herself. She looked a little concerned. I looked again for her left hand and still no ring. I told her it was nice the train wasn't as late as it was the other night, and she politely agreed. When the crowd entered the train to sit down, it wasn't my intention to sit down next to her. I wasn't ready, I felt uncertain, I felt shy! But there were no seats so that you could sit by my lonesome so I decided to sit in the empty seat by her.
Well, I was feeling very shy and not wanting to say a damn thing.
One thing I wanted to find out was where she lived (approximately). I learned she doesn't live to far from me. They make you pay for your train ride depending on how far you are from Chicago (if your ride starts in Chicago) A region inside Chicago will be in Zones "A", "B" or "C". The ride for people in A, B or C will be pretty cheap. I am in Zone D and my ride is more expensive. Well I learned (when we both showed our tickets to the conductor) that Madame Stautuesque is in Zone E; obviously adjacent to Zone D so I don't live that far from her even though I still don't know what town she lives in.
Well, I couldn't go the whole ride without saying something to her. She might think I'm a creep or something. Plus, if I could somehow make her feel like she likes being around me or at least comfortable around me. Well, she didn't have a problem sitting next to me as she enjoyed reading her Chicago Sun Times as I was reading the Chicago Tribune.
But I was supposed to introduce myself, I was supposed to ask her out for a cup of coffee, I was supposed to do something nice and not too intimate, but I was worried. I didn't want to find out she was one of those sneaky type of women who are married but don't have the gumption or the resolve to wear their wedding ring. I didn't want to find out she has a boyfriend who she's been with for 25 yrs. I didn't want to find out that she had no interest in me!
It's not like I just want to get into her pants. That's pretty facile; I want to get to know her, I want to date her, but I don't want to hear "NO". I don't want to "go out on a limb" so there's the dilemma.
I knew I had to say something, but I was too shy to follow the above script. So I acted "safe" and we compared the Sun Times to the Tribune. We also talked about the new craze Soduku puzzles. That was it then I got off the train and went home. I didn't feel crushed, I didn't feel giddy at my new date (b/c there isn't one), I just felt like I carried a little hope away, but is there any???????
So what do I say to her the next time I see her standing by the train?? I have to "go out on the limb" but what do I say?
Friday, November 11, 2005
Concern, nosiness or rumors??????
So yesterday, I didn't get much sleep the night before, and I was told by the ex to get my kids ready for school and on the bus. Of course, with my son's problem (I wrote about that, didn't I?), it took a long time to get him to eat. But I helped him get ready and I walked him over to the bus. I hadn't showered that morning yet. So, I put on a hat and trudged to the stop with my son. Once I did that, I got my younger son and daughter ready, picked up his girlfriend, and they went to the bus stop a little later. Bear in mind, all this was taking place at the condo complex where I am president.
Then, several hours later, when I was taking my daughter to the stop (she's in pre-K so she only goes to school in the PM). She got on uneventfully, and when the bus pulled away, the Treasurer of the Board who is also the office manager of our condo complex ran pell mell out to me. "Vince! Are you ok???? I heard you were sick, your neighbor said you looked terrible."
"No, I'm just tired that's all"
Then, when I brought the kids home later in the afternoon, our Vice President knocked on my door. "Do you know anything about these keys laying next to your complex,"
"No, those are the keys I told your brother (who lives w/ V P.) about"
"Oh, so are you ok, Vince??"
"Yes, Helen"
"Yeah, Norma said you looked bad & were very sick. You look pretty tired."
"Yeah, I need some sleep, but I'm not dying".
So what about Norma, the neighbor in the same bldg. as I? Is she gossipy or just concerned? You make the call.
Then, several hours later, when I was taking my daughter to the stop (she's in pre-K so she only goes to school in the PM). She got on uneventfully, and when the bus pulled away, the Treasurer of the Board who is also the office manager of our condo complex ran pell mell out to me. "Vince! Are you ok???? I heard you were sick, your neighbor said you looked terrible."
"No, I'm just tired that's all"
Then, when I brought the kids home later in the afternoon, our Vice President knocked on my door. "Do you know anything about these keys laying next to your complex,"
"No, those are the keys I told your brother (who lives w/ V P.) about"
"Oh, so are you ok, Vince??"
"Yes, Helen"
"Yeah, Norma said you looked bad & were very sick. You look pretty tired."
"Yeah, I need some sleep, but I'm not dying".
So what about Norma, the neighbor in the same bldg. as I? Is she gossipy or just concerned? You make the call.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Breezy youth
I like the whole vibe of youth. It is one of the reasons I love rock n roll and subscribe to Rolling Stone and follow sports. My 20s weren't the best time of my life, but I certainly learned a lot including but not limited to learning how to be an adult. Of course, I still have a lot to learn about life. Everyone should dispense good advice when we can, but all should be "students of life" and learn a lesson whenver it comes along. 1 of my 2 closest friends is 23. We have what I call a "finite relationship" insofar as there is a limit to it. We will always be platonic, and it's extremely unlikely it will ever be romantic.
Anyway, at my new job I work in a crowded room with 6 20somethings. They are all goin' to law school and are in the 2nd of 3 years of school. 4 of them are quiet and hard working. But there are 2 of them who we will call Mac & Kate. Kate was given a project and asked for my help. I ended up doin' the rest of it which wasn't what she said. Oh well, no big deal. AFter lunch one day, she sweetly and impressively came in singing the "Scotch Song" as she had 3 of them during lunch . I was rather impressed with her creativity (she made the song up) especially in her "altered state". She proceeded to sit at her work station, tell us she didn't feel like workin' and surfed the 'Net for an hour. Mac is a little different insofar as he has learned a lot more at the firm and helps me every now and then. Couple weeks ago, while everyone (but Kate) was workin' he was callin' his travel agent & cancelling plans to go to Montego Bay because he was fighting with his girlfriend.
THen I learned that Kate & Mac went on a double date. Kate loves to talk about how much she loves her live-in (that's good). So when Kate & Mac went to the restaurant with their significant others, they excused themselves to go to the bathroom went to the alley by the backdoor of the restaurant and got "quickies" while their significant others sat there at the table totally unaware, drinkin' water and makin' polite conversation.
Sometimes, when they're bored at work, they'll instant message each other because their conversation is too embarassing to say out loud. So you hear them sittin there and snicker and laugh.
Must be nice to have so much fun @ work! If you think I am upset with them, I'm not, maybe a little jealous with all their fun and bright future.
But the breezy attitudes sometimes gets to me because I have a strong sense of fun too, and I get easily distracted. In order to get work done, rather than enjoyin the Mac & Kate show, I brought in my Walkman (too poor, old school and analogue to buy an I Pod) and drowned out hearing them. That's helped.
There's so damn much work to do! I can't help but be impressed w/ Mac. He works fast and is on very good terms with the lawyers; in fact, he partied with one of them at Montego Bay. I thought when he told me about that, he was B.S'ing me, but learned later he wasn't.
When I was in my 20s I remember drinkin' a lot but not havin' as "breezy" an attitude as Kate. I wonder how she'll do fare during the rest of law school? I wonder what kind of lawyer she'll be. Many of the lawyers I know, work 10-11 hr days. I just don't see her doin' that. Wonder if she will even graduate law school seein' as she regularly misses classes.
Wonder if I should even give a damn, probably not. BUt it's nice that they make things intersting in the Clerk's room.
by the way, I had to use an apostrophe and Ctrl +V for the "g" key as it was broke. thank you for your patience!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
the joys of being BACK IN BLACK!!!
I've been pretty happy for about 2 weeks. Here's why. On Oct. 21, I was received my paycheck from the hospital. I wrote my pay in my checkbook register. Then I wrote all the bills I had to pay. What happened the 21st happened also for the last 2 months: my paycheck could not pay all the bills, damnit! For the last 2 months, I have been borrowing money or just not paying the bill amount. I borrowed money from people richer than I but it still feels terrible to do! I'm not supposed to do this and it kills me to ask for money! The humiliating aspect of "not making ends meet" and doing all sorts of fiscal gymnastics is overwhelming!
In a heartbeat, I would choose abusing my body with all kinds of stimulants so that I can work 6 12-hour night shifts in a row rathern than asking Mom & Dad for money. (Now it doesn't come to that because the hospital hates paying overtime and would never let their employees work that many days in a row. I have asked parents for money, however). So it sucked that I once again on Oct. 21 was short on money. BUT WAIT!!! I was getting my 1st paycheck from the law firm on Oct 25. Then I find out that I'm getting a higher hourly wage than what I was promised. I HAD $$$$ LEFT OVER. HOLY SHIT, I'VE HAD ORGASMS THAT DIDN'T FEEL AS GOOD AS I FELT OCT. 25!! (& we may have had lots of fights, but when I was married, the ex & I had a very good sex life with few complaints). I felt like the cavalry had arrived in an oldtime Western!!
When I realized my checking account was back in black, I felt like giving one big kiss to God's blue Earth. It's so nice to feel I have some semblance of control over my life.
Not to get on my soapbox, but I want to put another wrinkle in this as well. For weeks, almost from the time I left asshole law firm back in Aug., I stopped putting money in the collection basket because I had a tough time even paying groceries. It felt really good to be able to put a modest amount of $ in the basket during Offertory. & it makes me feel good to do it every Sunday now. I don't say that to give a "holier than thou" spin to any reader. You are free to choose to follow what others say about following God. The fact is I go to church because I sin and need that reminder TO DO BETTER every week; and pray everyday. I don't pray because I'm better than others. I pray as a person trying to do better (as it says in Profile).
In a heartbeat, I would choose abusing my body with all kinds of stimulants so that I can work 6 12-hour night shifts in a row rathern than asking Mom & Dad for money. (Now it doesn't come to that because the hospital hates paying overtime and would never let their employees work that many days in a row. I have asked parents for money, however). So it sucked that I once again on Oct. 21 was short on money. BUT WAIT!!! I was getting my 1st paycheck from the law firm on Oct 25. Then I find out that I'm getting a higher hourly wage than what I was promised. I HAD $$$$ LEFT OVER. HOLY SHIT, I'VE HAD ORGASMS THAT DIDN'T FEEL AS GOOD AS I FELT OCT. 25!! (& we may have had lots of fights, but when I was married, the ex & I had a very good sex life with few complaints). I felt like the cavalry had arrived in an oldtime Western!!
When I realized my checking account was back in black, I felt like giving one big kiss to God's blue Earth. It's so nice to feel I have some semblance of control over my life.
Not to get on my soapbox, but I want to put another wrinkle in this as well. For weeks, almost from the time I left asshole law firm back in Aug., I stopped putting money in the collection basket because I had a tough time even paying groceries. It felt really good to be able to put a modest amount of $ in the basket during Offertory. & it makes me feel good to do it every Sunday now. I don't say that to give a "holier than thou" spin to any reader. You are free to choose to follow what others say about following God. The fact is I go to church because I sin and need that reminder TO DO BETTER every week; and pray everyday. I don't pray because I'm better than others. I pray as a person trying to do better (as it says in Profile).
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
I threw 7lbs of paper +300 feet!
Friday, the Chicago White Sox parade went down (among other streets) LaSalle St. in the LOOP area of Downtown. All the players were rode trolleys and waved to the adoring crowds; alas, the 1st ticker tape parade I ever saw or participated in. So we tore up the Chicago TRibune, the Chicago Reader legal documents with mistakes on them & were null & void. 2 secretaries helped me out even my boss, one of the PARTNERS of the firm through some of my confetti out the window. I estimate that we ripped up over 5 pounds of paper. Since we were on the 26th Floor, we were at least 300 ft. above the parade. So it was fun; you know it's really sweet to see so many people so happy all at once!
Of course, not all Chicagoans were happy. 2nd City is also the home of the Chicago Cubs, the team for the Northsiders of Chicago. Later in the afternoon. I had to run out of the law firm and get some important evidence for a car accident related arbitration. While I was waiting, this lawyer told me that he had some Northsiders who were clients. He said that his clients with the patented, Chicago gallows humor were encouraging them to throw furniture and sharp objects 300 ft onto the parade. The lawyer or staff member causing the most injuries and death would be given a fiscal bonus over and above the legal fees to "take out" the most giddy Chicago Southsiders.
I'm telling you, when I walked through the LOOP streets after the parade it was like walking in a dry snowstorm. The streets, sidewalks were covered with at least 3 inches of shredded paper. At least, the paper I threw out had a chance to hit Ozzie Guillen, Jermaine Dye or Paul Konerko. There were streets not even on the parade route like Adams St. with as much paper on it then the LaSalle St. Parade route.
The Dept. of Streets & Sanitation, no later than 5 minutes after the parade, set to work cleaning up the confetti. By the next day, 98% of the confetti was cleaned up.
It was a nice way to end World Series fever. There is a 600 pound granite lion that overlooks the world-renowned Chicago Art Institute. THey had a Chicago W. Sox hat on him. The Chicago Board of Trade has 2 statutes by its entrance, Madame Commerce and Lady Agriculture. They are 14 ft. tall; they were wearing 3x Chicago W. Sox WORLD CHAMPIONS shirts; it was all pretty festive.
A pleasant time was had by all (well, maybe not the Cub fans!)
Of course, not all Chicagoans were happy. 2nd City is also the home of the Chicago Cubs, the team for the Northsiders of Chicago. Later in the afternoon. I had to run out of the law firm and get some important evidence for a car accident related arbitration. While I was waiting, this lawyer told me that he had some Northsiders who were clients. He said that his clients with the patented, Chicago gallows humor were encouraging them to throw furniture and sharp objects 300 ft onto the parade. The lawyer or staff member causing the most injuries and death would be given a fiscal bonus over and above the legal fees to "take out" the most giddy Chicago Southsiders.
I'm telling you, when I walked through the LOOP streets after the parade it was like walking in a dry snowstorm. The streets, sidewalks were covered with at least 3 inches of shredded paper. At least, the paper I threw out had a chance to hit Ozzie Guillen, Jermaine Dye or Paul Konerko. There were streets not even on the parade route like Adams St. with as much paper on it then the LaSalle St. Parade route.
The Dept. of Streets & Sanitation, no later than 5 minutes after the parade, set to work cleaning up the confetti. By the next day, 98% of the confetti was cleaned up.
It was a nice way to end World Series fever. There is a 600 pound granite lion that overlooks the world-renowned Chicago Art Institute. THey had a Chicago W. Sox hat on him. The Chicago Board of Trade has 2 statutes by its entrance, Madame Commerce and Lady Agriculture. They are 14 ft. tall; they were wearing 3x Chicago W. Sox WORLD CHAMPIONS shirts; it was all pretty festive.
A pleasant time was had by all (well, maybe not the Cub fans!)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
How 'bout them White Sox
I'm not from Chicago, but rather rural Wisconsin. I moved to Chicago back in 1989. I still refuse to root for any Chicago or IL team when they play one of my beloved WI teams, but when they don't ...I'll root for them.
So it was nice to see a team that hasn't won a World Series since 1917 (!!) win. I let out a big holler at 11 pm at night when they finally clinched it. I worked night shift and heard the White Sox win in 14 innings @ 1 am the night before when they won game 3.
So let's hear it for the Sox!
So it was nice to see a team that hasn't won a World Series since 1917 (!!) win. I let out a big holler at 11 pm at night when they finally clinched it. I worked night shift and heard the White Sox win in 14 innings @ 1 am the night before when they won game 3.
So let's hear it for the Sox!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
The joy of bad consequences happening2bad people
Forgive the spelling of the title, I wasn't sure if the title would be too long and fit in the title line.
It was really nice to hear last week about Tom DeLay's indictment. I was so pleased at what happened to the Hammer that I wrote the mini essay below about him, then I printed it and taped on my hospital locker for all my co-workers to see. Did you see his mug shot??? What kind of silly bastard smiles in a mug shot?!??
SO WHAT’S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT TOM DeLAY?!?
Tom DeLay is the former Republican Majority leader of the US House of Representatives. We should be happy when bad things happen to bad people. So what makes him bad?
Tom DeLay’s first career was as a pesticide salesman. He sold bug killer to farmers and other people in Texas. One of the pesiticides was DDT. DDT was too good at killing because it rendered our national animal, the Bald Eagle, nearly extinct. Therefore, 30some yrs. ago Congress, under the Nixon administration, passed a law banning DDT. DeLay was greatly offended that one of his better selling products was banned. "This is an outrage. I hate big government!" he screamed; never minding that the rest of the nation (even smart Republicans) thought that not killing off eagles might be a good thing.
That "outrage" inspired his political career. A career of following a reverse Robin Hood ethos of robbing the poor and rewarding the rich which was his political base. In 1999, when a natural disaster struck which 100s if not 1,000s of people were afflicted by, President Clinton declared the afflicted area a "Disaster Area" He asked Congress for millions of dollars to help the stricken people out. TOM DELAY lived up to his name and delayed funds to those people to spite Clinton. His tactics were so mean and ruthless that our current president who was running for office at the time criticized this venomous Majority Leader. Time and time again, Tom DeLay has campaigned with gutter style, alley cat tactics to triumph over his political foes. Time and time again, DeLay has been in the hip pocket of his rich friends to the detriment of the rest of his country, including but not limited to the poor and middle class.
Hopefully, we live in better times where his awful politics and gutterstyle tactics are finally going to land him with a big fine, much discredit and a defeated reelection bid next year. It’s probably too much to hope that he’ll be thrown in jail. Oh well, I'll be satisfied with seeing a vain, evil man given a giant dose of humility.
It was really nice to hear last week about Tom DeLay's indictment. I was so pleased at what happened to the Hammer that I wrote the mini essay below about him, then I printed it and taped on my hospital locker for all my co-workers to see. Did you see his mug shot??? What kind of silly bastard smiles in a mug shot?!??
SO WHAT’S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT TOM DeLAY?!?
Tom DeLay is the former Republican Majority leader of the US House of Representatives. We should be happy when bad things happen to bad people. So what makes him bad?
Tom DeLay’s first career was as a pesticide salesman. He sold bug killer to farmers and other people in Texas. One of the pesiticides was DDT. DDT was too good at killing because it rendered our national animal, the Bald Eagle, nearly extinct. Therefore, 30some yrs. ago Congress, under the Nixon administration, passed a law banning DDT. DeLay was greatly offended that one of his better selling products was banned. "This is an outrage. I hate big government!" he screamed; never minding that the rest of the nation (even smart Republicans) thought that not killing off eagles might be a good thing.
That "outrage" inspired his political career. A career of following a reverse Robin Hood ethos of robbing the poor and rewarding the rich which was his political base. In 1999, when a natural disaster struck which 100s if not 1,000s of people were afflicted by, President Clinton declared the afflicted area a "Disaster Area" He asked Congress for millions of dollars to help the stricken people out. TOM DELAY lived up to his name and delayed funds to those people to spite Clinton. His tactics were so mean and ruthless that our current president who was running for office at the time criticized this venomous Majority Leader. Time and time again, Tom DeLay has campaigned with gutter style, alley cat tactics to triumph over his political foes. Time and time again, DeLay has been in the hip pocket of his rich friends to the detriment of the rest of his country, including but not limited to the poor and middle class.
Hopefully, we live in better times where his awful politics and gutterstyle tactics are finally going to land him with a big fine, much discredit and a defeated reelection bid next year. It’s probably too much to hope that he’ll be thrown in jail. Oh well, I'll be satisfied with seeing a vain, evil man given a giant dose of humility.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
The Elvis Syndrome
42 is an interesting age just like 27 is. Of course, 27 is the age when many famous rock n' rollers died and also when my best friend, Frank Kaul, died (that's for another blog & yes, L12, I'll write it). But 42 was the age when our youngest president ever assumed office and, no, it's not John Kennedy, but rather Teddy Roosevelt. He assumed the presidency when Leon Czolgosz shot the 25th Pres. William McKinnley in 1901.
42 is also the age when Elvis died. Towards the end of his career, Elvis was taking a lot of pills. He needed pills to wake up. He needed pills to go to sleep. He needed pills to take a shit (in fact, he died taking a shit brought on by something called the vasovagal reflex). THe bottom line is he was taking a ton of pills towards the end of his life. Of course, all that medication led to his untimely demise.
Now, I don't think I'm near the end. I mean I'm overweight but I can still walk 6 miles in under an hour & a half. I walk 3 miles to work and back through a rough neighborhood. (THat's a far, far cry from 25 yrs. ago when I ran 2 miles in under 12 min) But still, I'm a little apprehensive because, like Elvis, I am taking a lot of, shall we say "medication" (or pills if you will). I need to stay up at night because the time between 3-5 am is very tough mentally & physically to stay up so I down about 6 cups of coffee during that time. I take Adderall for the same reason. Then, if I don't take sleeping pills when I go to bed @ 8 am. or if I don't take a Clonipin then I wake up after only 2 hours of sleep.
Today is a rough day. I went to bed at 7:45 am. I woke up before 11. I scheduled myself to work at this part time paralegal job & I have to catch a Metra train & be @ downtown Chicago @ 3 pm. THen I have to preside @ our condo complex's monthly meeting at 7pm tonight in our hourlong meeting.
I used to smoke Cavendish tobacco several times a year. Now here I am writing this blog, smoking my pipe as I have several times a week, now. I gotta make more money but I feel like U2's song on the Joshua Tree album that I'm "Running to Stand Still". The whole idea that I have devised is to do a "flip around".
Now, I'm working full time at the hospital and part time at a law firm. I need to "flip it around" and work full time at a law firm and part time at the hospital like I did back in the early summer of this year. I can't now because this firm I'm at now doesn't offer health insurance. I need a firm that will offer health insurance to a paralegal. A firm that is personal injury and can take unique advantage of my medical background as I can write and explain how car accidents and other "sue-able" injuries have hurt plaintiffs physically.
My wife & I are divorced, but because we have to raise 3 young kids, we are, to a certain extent, "joined at the hip". Since we have joint tenancy ownership of the condo, our plan is to have her be financially well off to have her move out of the condo and into a house. Obviously, a house is a better place to raise 3 kids than a 2 bedroom condo. THen I would pay her to get 100% ownership of the condo and certainly, 2 bedrooms is enough room for me. & Oak Forest, IL is a nice neighborhood. But some of that dream is getting back to the money I was making earlier this summer. Just remember one thing: I've lived up to my end of the divorce decree so the fact that I make less now than before has not meant that she & my kids get less child support. It has only hurt me financially. But that's ok; less money has meant less food. So with the smoking and the hellish hours, I've lost about 10 pounds.
I sure as hell won't be doing what happened last Holiday/Winter Season and gain 20 pounds. I figure if I lose another 25 pounds, I'll be in decent shape. & pipe smoking over the years isn't as addictive as cigarette smoking, so by the time I get a better paralegal job, I'll have kicked that habit too.
Well enough daydreaming, I gotta pick the bones out of my salmon, eat it & catch a train. I hope I don't end up like Elvis!
42 is also the age when Elvis died. Towards the end of his career, Elvis was taking a lot of pills. He needed pills to wake up. He needed pills to go to sleep. He needed pills to take a shit (in fact, he died taking a shit brought on by something called the vasovagal reflex). THe bottom line is he was taking a ton of pills towards the end of his life. Of course, all that medication led to his untimely demise.
Now, I don't think I'm near the end. I mean I'm overweight but I can still walk 6 miles in under an hour & a half. I walk 3 miles to work and back through a rough neighborhood. (THat's a far, far cry from 25 yrs. ago when I ran 2 miles in under 12 min) But still, I'm a little apprehensive because, like Elvis, I am taking a lot of, shall we say "medication" (or pills if you will). I need to stay up at night because the time between 3-5 am is very tough mentally & physically to stay up so I down about 6 cups of coffee during that time. I take Adderall for the same reason. Then, if I don't take sleeping pills when I go to bed @ 8 am. or if I don't take a Clonipin then I wake up after only 2 hours of sleep.
Today is a rough day. I went to bed at 7:45 am. I woke up before 11. I scheduled myself to work at this part time paralegal job & I have to catch a Metra train & be @ downtown Chicago @ 3 pm. THen I have to preside @ our condo complex's monthly meeting at 7pm tonight in our hourlong meeting.
I used to smoke Cavendish tobacco several times a year. Now here I am writing this blog, smoking my pipe as I have several times a week, now. I gotta make more money but I feel like U2's song on the Joshua Tree album that I'm "Running to Stand Still". The whole idea that I have devised is to do a "flip around".
Now, I'm working full time at the hospital and part time at a law firm. I need to "flip it around" and work full time at a law firm and part time at the hospital like I did back in the early summer of this year. I can't now because this firm I'm at now doesn't offer health insurance. I need a firm that will offer health insurance to a paralegal. A firm that is personal injury and can take unique advantage of my medical background as I can write and explain how car accidents and other "sue-able" injuries have hurt plaintiffs physically.
My wife & I are divorced, but because we have to raise 3 young kids, we are, to a certain extent, "joined at the hip". Since we have joint tenancy ownership of the condo, our plan is to have her be financially well off to have her move out of the condo and into a house. Obviously, a house is a better place to raise 3 kids than a 2 bedroom condo. THen I would pay her to get 100% ownership of the condo and certainly, 2 bedrooms is enough room for me. & Oak Forest, IL is a nice neighborhood. But some of that dream is getting back to the money I was making earlier this summer. Just remember one thing: I've lived up to my end of the divorce decree so the fact that I make less now than before has not meant that she & my kids get less child support. It has only hurt me financially. But that's ok; less money has meant less food. So with the smoking and the hellish hours, I've lost about 10 pounds.
I sure as hell won't be doing what happened last Holiday/Winter Season and gain 20 pounds. I figure if I lose another 25 pounds, I'll be in decent shape. & pipe smoking over the years isn't as addictive as cigarette smoking, so by the time I get a better paralegal job, I'll have kicked that habit too.
Well enough daydreaming, I gotta pick the bones out of my salmon, eat it & catch a train. I hope I don't end up like Elvis!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
a smart, spirited co-worker and the $3 challenge
You'll recall that in my 10/2/05 post, I wrote about Mary. Unfortunately, she has had problems with her wayword teenage daughter, and she took a leave of absence from work. Before she left , she told me about throwing her in a psych unit for a couple of weeks or even disowning her and signing her parental rights away to DCFS (Dept. of Child and Family Serivices) So, while Mary is gone we're oping her daughter is getting better.
Last night, Mary was scheduled to work, but obviously could not so I worked with a nurse, Penny. I was looking forward to working with her, not because I have a romantic interest in her. After all, she is married. (While I have been taken to task for spending too much time with 20somethings once or twice, I won't get involved with married women. (Last thing I need to hear Jesus or St. Peter say to me after I die is "Oh yeah, your the guy who broke up that marriage and the wife had 3 kids.....")
Anyway, Penny is a smart, sharp nurse. I interpret EKGs and measure atrial & ventricular waves on the EKG strip (among other tasks). Ideally, your supposed to measure the waves with an instrument called a calipers. But practically, I use my eyes & can make accurate measurements & it's a lot quicker. Penny always uses her calipers. So, about a year ago, she came up to me because I did the EKG measurements on her patients. The EKG strip is 6 seconds long. Her patient’s strip had 8 heartbeats on it (which is normal) I measured the ventriculr wave at .12 mm, but she corrected me and said it was .14. I looked again & she was right. Now clinically speaking, whether it’s 12. or 14 means very little but the fact that she wanted her patients’ EKG measurements to be perfect speaks well of her.
Penny is a Filipino from Manilla (look out, here comes the nationality tangent!)
Many hospitals in the Metro Chicago area are in neighborhoods (like Maywood & Harvey) where the minority population is about 90%. Yet, among nurses the highest proportion of any minority group is not Blacks or Hispanics/Latinos but rather Filipinos. Why that is I’ll probably never know, but I thought maybe that fact would be interesting to share. They enjoy getting together and speaking Tagalog. Reader, if you have any cogent theories on why there’s such a high proportion of Filipinos work the Chicagoland Hospitals let me know. The reader with the best theory gets $3. No, really!!
Anyway, Penny & I worked with each other for 8 hrs. 11pm-7am since Mary wasn’t there. The first hour was quiet as we interpreted EKGs and did their ventricular and atrial measurements for the 40some patients we each had. I was playing and enjoying listening to Cream, and after awhile she spoke up and asked, "Do we have to listen to that old stuff?
"No" I replied, "What kind of music do you like?"
"I don’t know"
"Well, how am I going to play something you like if I don’t know what you like?" I replied (no response). So I asked, "Do you like Filipino music?"
"Not all of it; I like the ballads"
"Oh, so you like slow, romantic music, right?"
"Yeah, I’m a girl afterall!" she proclaimed indignantly. Then she corrected herself, "Actually, I am in my 30s & have kids." So, I played Jefferson Starship and stayed away from the heavy metal music I love playing. But, I didn’t have any other ballad type of music and played Charlatans UK and U2. I asked her if she knew who U2 was, and she said no. Here’s another ? for my dear readers: has U2 ever played in the Philippines? Now, I can’t offer a prize for that piece of trivia (unless someone wanted to make it a $2 contest for the 1st correct answer). She didn’t mind either band.
The newest interest at the hospital and even, apparently, in the Chicagoland area (apart from the Great White Sox appearing in their 1st World Series since 1959) is doing "Sudoku" puzzles. The tabloid Chicago Sun Times has started putting those puzzles in their papaer and people on the 6th floor like to do them during spare time (guess we’re a boring group).
So Penny & I worked on the same puzzle separately. I started on mine 20 minutes before she did, but to my alarm after about an hour she was almost done. "Damn, Penny, you’re kicking my ass on this puzzle".
"Oh well, I don’t know if my numeric answers are right or not. My husband would be better at this than I, cos’ he’s good with numbers. I only like the ones in my checkbook" she smugly smiled.
"I’m jealous Penny. The numbers in my checkbook suck, cuz’ they’re all red!" But Penny was right about doing her puzzle, because a little later she quit in disgust. (I was able to finish the puzzle). Then we started talking about our kids. I hung up a picture of my youngest daughter (as others put up pictures of their kids and pets in the telemetry room. Like others, she made fun of the way I dressed my youngest, Brianna, because in the picture she’s wearing red striped pants with a pink polk-a-dot shirt. She pointedly asked if I dressed her and told about how she makes her husband change her kids clothes when he doesn’t color coordinate what they wear.
Later, we were getting pretty chummy as she slapped me on the shoulder towards the end and said my patients’ computer screen looked like a "XMAS tree". I was reading but not answering the alarms on my patients’ screen so the screen was flashing 5 or 6 red alarms. Then I sarcastically said, "I guess I’m not as diligent as you are, Penny".
"Oh, shut up" she replied.
So it was a good night. On the night, it’s important to keep alert because it’s a severe punishable offense to be asleep at the job 3:30 in the morning. & obviously, it’s not a good way to take care of the patients. So we were glad to find a new strategy (Sudoku) to stay alert and awake during our graveyard shift and called the night a success.
Last night, Mary was scheduled to work, but obviously could not so I worked with a nurse, Penny. I was looking forward to working with her, not because I have a romantic interest in her. After all, she is married. (While I have been taken to task for spending too much time with 20somethings once or twice, I won't get involved with married women. (Last thing I need to hear Jesus or St. Peter say to me after I die is "Oh yeah, your the guy who broke up that marriage and the wife had 3 kids.....")
Anyway, Penny is a smart, sharp nurse. I interpret EKGs and measure atrial & ventricular waves on the EKG strip (among other tasks). Ideally, your supposed to measure the waves with an instrument called a calipers. But practically, I use my eyes & can make accurate measurements & it's a lot quicker. Penny always uses her calipers. So, about a year ago, she came up to me because I did the EKG measurements on her patients. The EKG strip is 6 seconds long. Her patient’s strip had 8 heartbeats on it (which is normal) I measured the ventriculr wave at .12 mm, but she corrected me and said it was .14. I looked again & she was right. Now clinically speaking, whether it’s 12. or 14 means very little but the fact that she wanted her patients’ EKG measurements to be perfect speaks well of her.
Penny is a Filipino from Manilla (look out, here comes the nationality tangent!)
Many hospitals in the Metro Chicago area are in neighborhoods (like Maywood & Harvey) where the minority population is about 90%. Yet, among nurses the highest proportion of any minority group is not Blacks or Hispanics/Latinos but rather Filipinos. Why that is I’ll probably never know, but I thought maybe that fact would be interesting to share. They enjoy getting together and speaking Tagalog. Reader, if you have any cogent theories on why there’s such a high proportion of Filipinos work the Chicagoland Hospitals let me know. The reader with the best theory gets $3. No, really!!
Anyway, Penny & I worked with each other for 8 hrs. 11pm-7am since Mary wasn’t there. The first hour was quiet as we interpreted EKGs and did their ventricular and atrial measurements for the 40some patients we each had. I was playing and enjoying listening to Cream, and after awhile she spoke up and asked, "Do we have to listen to that old stuff?
"No" I replied, "What kind of music do you like?"
"I don’t know"
"Well, how am I going to play something you like if I don’t know what you like?" I replied (no response). So I asked, "Do you like Filipino music?"
"Not all of it; I like the ballads"
"Oh, so you like slow, romantic music, right?"
"Yeah, I’m a girl afterall!" she proclaimed indignantly. Then she corrected herself, "Actually, I am in my 30s & have kids." So, I played Jefferson Starship and stayed away from the heavy metal music I love playing. But, I didn’t have any other ballad type of music and played Charlatans UK and U2. I asked her if she knew who U2 was, and she said no. Here’s another ? for my dear readers: has U2 ever played in the Philippines? Now, I can’t offer a prize for that piece of trivia (unless someone wanted to make it a $2 contest for the 1st correct answer). She didn’t mind either band.
The newest interest at the hospital and even, apparently, in the Chicagoland area (apart from the Great White Sox appearing in their 1st World Series since 1959) is doing "Sudoku" puzzles. The tabloid Chicago Sun Times has started putting those puzzles in their papaer and people on the 6th floor like to do them during spare time (guess we’re a boring group).
So Penny & I worked on the same puzzle separately. I started on mine 20 minutes before she did, but to my alarm after about an hour she was almost done. "Damn, Penny, you’re kicking my ass on this puzzle".
"Oh well, I don’t know if my numeric answers are right or not. My husband would be better at this than I, cos’ he’s good with numbers. I only like the ones in my checkbook" she smugly smiled.
"I’m jealous Penny. The numbers in my checkbook suck, cuz’ they’re all red!" But Penny was right about doing her puzzle, because a little later she quit in disgust. (I was able to finish the puzzle). Then we started talking about our kids. I hung up a picture of my youngest daughter (as others put up pictures of their kids and pets in the telemetry room. Like others, she made fun of the way I dressed my youngest, Brianna, because in the picture she’s wearing red striped pants with a pink polk-a-dot shirt. She pointedly asked if I dressed her and told about how she makes her husband change her kids clothes when he doesn’t color coordinate what they wear.
Later, we were getting pretty chummy as she slapped me on the shoulder towards the end and said my patients’ computer screen looked like a "XMAS tree". I was reading but not answering the alarms on my patients’ screen so the screen was flashing 5 or 6 red alarms. Then I sarcastically said, "I guess I’m not as diligent as you are, Penny".
"Oh, shut up" she replied.
So it was a good night. On the night, it’s important to keep alert because it’s a severe punishable offense to be asleep at the job 3:30 in the morning. & obviously, it’s not a good way to take care of the patients. So we were glad to find a new strategy (Sudoku) to stay alert and awake during our graveyard shift and called the night a success.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
graveyard shift blues
It seems like I have to confront several problems at once, and they all seem to relate back to my lack of money. I really wanted to go to a friend/co-worker's baby shower - can't do it because I don't have enough money to get her a gift. I really wanted to go to a dance that this men's group is sponsoring because it would be fun, & I am a member of that group. Can't do it because I would have to ask someone out for a date and again that would cost money.
What really brought all of this to mind was last night and this morning. I have been walking 3 miles to work as noted in a previous post. I need to do everything I can to save money (just to make ends meet....not for anything special!!) But the problem was when I walked to work Saturday night, I have to walk home Sunday morning. I really wanted to go to Mass after working because I feel that Mass helps me, especially after attending a religious retreat last weekend.
But after walking home, I was too late for 8 am. Mass so I decided to just go to bed. But, the same problem happened this morning that happened yesterday. I have just started working these graveyard shifts, my body isn't used to sleeping during the day, so instead of getting 8 hours of sleep per night, I'm only getting about 2 hours of sleep. Then I wake up, can't go back to sleep and pretty soon, after doing this and that, I have to go back to work and work the usual 12 hour shift.
After working Friday night, I really had a hard time sleeping at all. After working Saturday night, I went to bed around 9 this morning but woke right back up at 11. Today, I don't feel like taking sleeping pills as I sometimes do, because I really do need to go to church, see my kids as I promised my ex, and then do some work for my condo as I am president. But when am I going to sleep????
I also have a meeting to go to right before I work my 12 hour shift. The short meeting is @ 6 and work starts at 6:45. Then I have to work 12 hours again.
It's nice to make the dollar extra per hour because I need every penny of it (again, since I'm short of money I need to do everything I can to either save money or make money). But you hear all sorts of bad statistics about people working night shifts. People who work night shifts have a shorter lifespan. People who work night shifts fall asleep driving moreso than people on other shifts.
I just wish the lawyers I worked with previously weren't such assholes. I was making OK money then. I wouldn't have to work all these night shifts now, and I wouldn't have to walk to work. I worked there as long as I could, but after awhile of being berated and degraded, that job ended up having all the dignity of being a stripper or a male prostitute. So I made the right decision and work full time at the hospital, but there can be tough consequences to doing the right thing!
So now I'm going to eat, go to Church and see my beloved kids. & I hope I don't get into an accident driving to or from work doing the graveyard shift. Hopefully, tomorrow morning, I'll get better rest. If it takes 5 sleeping pills to get 8 hours of sleep, damnit, I might just do it!
What really brought all of this to mind was last night and this morning. I have been walking 3 miles to work as noted in a previous post. I need to do everything I can to save money (just to make ends meet....not for anything special!!) But the problem was when I walked to work Saturday night, I have to walk home Sunday morning. I really wanted to go to Mass after working because I feel that Mass helps me, especially after attending a religious retreat last weekend.
But after walking home, I was too late for 8 am. Mass so I decided to just go to bed. But, the same problem happened this morning that happened yesterday. I have just started working these graveyard shifts, my body isn't used to sleeping during the day, so instead of getting 8 hours of sleep per night, I'm only getting about 2 hours of sleep. Then I wake up, can't go back to sleep and pretty soon, after doing this and that, I have to go back to work and work the usual 12 hour shift.
After working Friday night, I really had a hard time sleeping at all. After working Saturday night, I went to bed around 9 this morning but woke right back up at 11. Today, I don't feel like taking sleeping pills as I sometimes do, because I really do need to go to church, see my kids as I promised my ex, and then do some work for my condo as I am president. But when am I going to sleep????
I also have a meeting to go to right before I work my 12 hour shift. The short meeting is @ 6 and work starts at 6:45. Then I have to work 12 hours again.
It's nice to make the dollar extra per hour because I need every penny of it (again, since I'm short of money I need to do everything I can to either save money or make money). But you hear all sorts of bad statistics about people working night shifts. People who work night shifts have a shorter lifespan. People who work night shifts fall asleep driving moreso than people on other shifts.
I just wish the lawyers I worked with previously weren't such assholes. I was making OK money then. I wouldn't have to work all these night shifts now, and I wouldn't have to walk to work. I worked there as long as I could, but after awhile of being berated and degraded, that job ended up having all the dignity of being a stripper or a male prostitute. So I made the right decision and work full time at the hospital, but there can be tough consequences to doing the right thing!
So now I'm going to eat, go to Church and see my beloved kids. & I hope I don't get into an accident driving to or from work doing the graveyard shift. Hopefully, tomorrow morning, I'll get better rest. If it takes 5 sleeping pills to get 8 hours of sleep, damnit, I might just do it!
Saturday, October 15, 2005
one more reason for love........
"....and when you stop and think about it, you won't believe it's true.
That all the love you've been giving, has all been meant for you...."
from the song "Quesion" by the Moody Blues
That all the love you've been giving, has all been meant for you...."
from the song "Quesion" by the Moody Blues
Thursday, October 06, 2005
a night walk
I am tired of paying nearly $3 a gallon for gas so I have gotten toughened up to walking long distances. I walk to work, the hospital is 3 miles away; it takes 45 min. Tough shit if the hospital is in a rough neighborhood, riven w/ gangs and drug dealers. If I don't bother them, the odds are low of them bothering me.
The same is true with seeing my kids. They live about 6 miles away so it takes about an 1 1/2 hours to get there. When I walked home to my apartment something kind of special happened. To get from the kids' place to my place I go through a forest preserve (so named because it has bike paths and is patrolled by the Cook County Forest Preserve Police, among other reasons). It was such a beautiful night out and the temperature was perfect. The coolness killed off all those damn insects yet it was warm enough so that you didn't have to worry about your hands or feet getting cold. All I had to do was follow the yellow line of the bike path and I had no problem whatsoever in finding my way home. I saw white-tailed deer that would get close enough to try and figure out who I was, then run off as I walked next to them on the trail. It was fun trying to guess what the strange noises were.
I couldn't help but think how much more fun it would be to have a girlfriend, two sleeping bags and just being "one with nature". It was a great night to be outdoors! There was a slight bit of apprehension because I was actually breaking the rules. The Forest Preserve rules are that no one is supposed to be in the forest after sundown. (It was 8 pm) I couldn't imagine them throwing me in jail for walking home, minding my own business. Just as I was less than a 1/4 mile away from leaving the Forest Preserve, there was this white light shining on my back. "Oh shit," I thought, "The Forest Preserve cops". So here's how the conversation went after I turned around and saw this biker with a light beam coming from his helmet.
"Uh-oh!", he exclaimed
"I'm just about ready to leave at the next exit," I explained.
"That's cool; I'm just biking", he said.
"Oh, I thought you were a Forest Preserve cop"
"No, we just scared each other"
Before I could explain that I wasn't really scared just hoping that he wasn't a cop, he was too far away as he biked past me.
Yes, that was a lame conversation, and this post probably would have been a better read if I would have explained how I got thrown in jail and had the displeasure of sharing a jail cell with someone caught for sodomy.
But I'm glad none of that happened and I am happy to have such a nice, sweet, peaceful time at the Forest Preserve with the deer. Maybe months from now, I'll meet the right woman and we can have a nice time in some sleeping bags. That would be a great way to break the law.
The same is true with seeing my kids. They live about 6 miles away so it takes about an 1 1/2 hours to get there. When I walked home to my apartment something kind of special happened. To get from the kids' place to my place I go through a forest preserve (so named because it has bike paths and is patrolled by the Cook County Forest Preserve Police, among other reasons). It was such a beautiful night out and the temperature was perfect. The coolness killed off all those damn insects yet it was warm enough so that you didn't have to worry about your hands or feet getting cold. All I had to do was follow the yellow line of the bike path and I had no problem whatsoever in finding my way home. I saw white-tailed deer that would get close enough to try and figure out who I was, then run off as I walked next to them on the trail. It was fun trying to guess what the strange noises were.
I couldn't help but think how much more fun it would be to have a girlfriend, two sleeping bags and just being "one with nature". It was a great night to be outdoors! There was a slight bit of apprehension because I was actually breaking the rules. The Forest Preserve rules are that no one is supposed to be in the forest after sundown. (It was 8 pm) I couldn't imagine them throwing me in jail for walking home, minding my own business. Just as I was less than a 1/4 mile away from leaving the Forest Preserve, there was this white light shining on my back. "Oh shit," I thought, "The Forest Preserve cops". So here's how the conversation went after I turned around and saw this biker with a light beam coming from his helmet.
"Uh-oh!", he exclaimed
"I'm just about ready to leave at the next exit," I explained.
"That's cool; I'm just biking", he said.
"Oh, I thought you were a Forest Preserve cop"
"No, we just scared each other"
Before I could explain that I wasn't really scared just hoping that he wasn't a cop, he was too far away as he biked past me.
Yes, that was a lame conversation, and this post probably would have been a better read if I would have explained how I got thrown in jail and had the displeasure of sharing a jail cell with someone caught for sodomy.
But I'm glad none of that happened and I am happy to have such a nice, sweet, peaceful time at the Forest Preserve with the deer. Maybe months from now, I'll meet the right woman and we can have a nice time in some sleeping bags. That would be a great way to break the law.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
**"You Got the Money, Honey, I Got the Time"
**Opening line of Willie Nelson's first hit back in the mid 70s. We're not counting him penning Patsy Cline's "Crazy".
What good is a date that doesn't have much money??? In suburban Chicago, the answer is not much. As most of you know, I left the as-hole partners at the law firm, for a full-time gig at the hospital. I don't have to work 56 hours a week anymore, so I have more time to spend with my kids and the condo presidency.
But less time at work necessarily means less money from work. I thought maybe the overtime I was getting would mean more but apparently not. Part of it is the simple mathematics, Illinois law says any mother who has an "ex" & has 3 kids, gets 32% of his paycheck. That's fine with me;I'm just making an observation. The other thing is that taxes get another 25%. So 57% of my paycheck is not mine.
But I am emotionally ready to date. I know why I got a divorce, I know what mistakes I made in the relationship and I really want to move on in life. But I can't because, I, as a proper date, have to make things "free" for the woman I date, and that's hard now. I spent the last 30 hours figuring out how to meet all my expenses and explain things to my creditors about not getting as much money as they actually were expecting from me.
So the dating action has to wait. No sex, no drugs, but still plenty of rock n' roll. Too bad the only places I hear it is work, home alone and in the car. My sister-in-law says to spend every moment I can with my kids because she thinks my ex is crazy.
Don't I deserve to date? Well, it's not a matter of "deserving" it's all a matter of financially earning. Is there a woman out there who would like to be a "sugar mommy" (female counterpart to "sugar daddy") very unlikely. But if any reader out there knows of one, I will work the rest of my life to make it worth their while. (either by being a reference or being one)
But seriously, the job is going well; the presidency continues to challenge as I mediate disputes and life could be better but it's up to me to improve it!
What good is a date that doesn't have much money??? In suburban Chicago, the answer is not much. As most of you know, I left the as-hole partners at the law firm, for a full-time gig at the hospital. I don't have to work 56 hours a week anymore, so I have more time to spend with my kids and the condo presidency.
But less time at work necessarily means less money from work. I thought maybe the overtime I was getting would mean more but apparently not. Part of it is the simple mathematics, Illinois law says any mother who has an "ex" & has 3 kids, gets 32% of his paycheck. That's fine with me;I'm just making an observation. The other thing is that taxes get another 25%. So 57% of my paycheck is not mine.
But I am emotionally ready to date. I know why I got a divorce, I know what mistakes I made in the relationship and I really want to move on in life. But I can't because, I, as a proper date, have to make things "free" for the woman I date, and that's hard now. I spent the last 30 hours figuring out how to meet all my expenses and explain things to my creditors about not getting as much money as they actually were expecting from me.
So the dating action has to wait. No sex, no drugs, but still plenty of rock n' roll. Too bad the only places I hear it is work, home alone and in the car. My sister-in-law says to spend every moment I can with my kids because she thinks my ex is crazy.
Don't I deserve to date? Well, it's not a matter of "deserving" it's all a matter of financially earning. Is there a woman out there who would like to be a "sugar mommy" (female counterpart to "sugar daddy") very unlikely. But if any reader out there knows of one, I will work the rest of my life to make it worth their while. (either by being a reference or being one)
But seriously, the job is going well; the presidency continues to challenge as I mediate disputes and life could be better but it's up to me to improve it!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
mentioning other sites
For those bloggers who suggest other "LINKS", I am willing to bet there's a good deal of thought into selecting the other links.
For me it is a fellow blogger who first started sending me comments. There's another site that deserves special mention. It is the band Catch Penny led by Chris Schauf (25 yrs. old) & his younger brother Zach. I saw them in Chicago, I bought their CD and I think that they do excellent as a band. They're under "up and coming band" on my blog.
You can say, "Yeah, Vince, you're biased, because you're their uncle and you have "an axe to grind".
The point is that other people have been saying that they love their CD. So I would urge you dear reader to check out this website below, check out the MP3 and if you like, then order the CD. They are at:
http://www.catchpennyband.com/index.htm
Enjoy!
For me it is a fellow blogger who first started sending me comments. There's another site that deserves special mention. It is the band Catch Penny led by Chris Schauf (25 yrs. old) & his younger brother Zach. I saw them in Chicago, I bought their CD and I think that they do excellent as a band. They're under "up and coming band" on my blog.
You can say, "Yeah, Vince, you're biased, because you're their uncle and you have "an axe to grind".
The point is that other people have been saying that they love their CD. So I would urge you dear reader to check out this website below, check out the MP3 and if you like, then order the CD. They are at:
http://www.catchpennyband.com/index.htm
Enjoy!
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