I am blessed to have excellent co-workers at both the law firm and the hospital where I work. I had an incident on Christmas Eve that I wanted to share, and it's about my friend/co-worker, Galyn. The day of December 24 I had a hard time sleeping. The thing is that (I said this on a previous blog) I don't want to turn into Elvis - one who needs a pill to be awake, a pill to sleep, a pill to be happy and a pill to crap.
I do enough medication as it is not to turn out like him. & while I am now 43 and he died at the young age of 42, I still want to live for awhile. Going back to the the ex will do that to a person, and even moreso having wonderful kids.
So I came to the job not knowing what to expect the night before I got 8 hrs. but after 12:00 pm it's important to get 3 hrs. before work and put your body into "night shift mode". I didn't get that on Dec. 24. I told my co-worker, Gina, about my plight, and I told her that I was worried that if I might fall asleep, get caught and then get fired.
Then Gina replied, "Vince, I wouldn't do you like that". I felt such gratitude when she said that. The idea that she would take it upon herself to look out for me, to have my back! That really made my night and gave me a newfound confidence that things were going to be ok. That I wouldn't have problems, that I wouldn't get fired and endanger the financial health of myself and my family. On XMAS Eve, what she said felt like a sublime gift.
The wonderful thing is that incident is just 1 example of a good friendship at work. There will be times when we share things and are totally confident that it won't go past the 4 walls of our tele room. There are favors too numerous to mention herein that just make a person know that they're lucky to have met that persona and got to know them.
I remember when I was a young person in my 20s that when I got along really well with a woman, I would want to hug or kiss them. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't so backwards that I would do that arbitrarily, but I certainly would look for the opportunity. But now, I realize there are other elements more noteworthy and meaningful to a relationship than a physical act. If Gina has "my back" that means far more than a kiss or a hug. (& besides, what 20something would want to be hugged or kissed by a fat old man like me, anyway?). That also makes me happy because it makes the relationship that much more stable since neither one of us want to mistakenly try to make more of the platonic, working relationship than it is. Anytime there is stability you have to be very thankful.
I also work at a law firm, and I am good friends with those that I work with as well. & there is the same dynamic that I am old enough to be everyone else's father in the small clerk's office. However, I don't have any relationships as nice as the one with Gina.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Drawing closer in bad times
Maribeth's mother died at 79. She has been sick for awhile. She was afflicted by the MRSA bacteria (Google it if you don't know) for over a month, and she suffered mental illness for nearly 40 years. Maribeth's sister, Diane Duffe, wrote something very nice about her in the online guestbook (which is at http://www.legacy.com/chicagotribune/Obituaries.asp?Page=SearchResults , look under 12/14/2006 for DeMars, Betty Ann)
The wake and funeral were all the same day, Saturday.
We all heard the saying, "When it rains, it pours". On Sunday, after a leak in the 1st Floor bathroom, part of the basement ceiling collapsed. Instead of Maribeth being at her father's place until 11am, she didn't come home until 4. So I said, "Maribeth, I'm sorry about the ceiling. That must have been a real pain! & so soon after the funeral"
Now, usually, Maribeth would go into a monologue of how difficult things are. However, this time she said, "that's ok". I was very impressed because it showed a certain newfound resiliance to her. That could be one of a number of factors why this time we stay together.
In general, we do come upon disagreements (much less than before), but it's only led to 2 or 3 heated arguments, and the arguments aren't the "barn burners" they used to be. So, I'm very encouraged by what has happened since November 5 when I first started living with her again. Plus, a few of the disagreements are my fault. I have a tendency to take clothes I wear and sling them over a chair rather than put them in the hamper or in the alternative hang them up in the closet. So I need to take a little more time in keeping our modest condo more neat.
At the funeral, Diane, my son Andy, and I all give eulogies. One can see the reference I make to getting back together in my eulogy. Also, my wife wrote a eulogy and a poem. Both were very articulate. She also directed me to read from Eclesiates, & the passage read was then turned into a song "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds in the 60s. Here is what I said:
BETTY REMEMBERED
All of us here have been fortunate enough to spend some time with Betty, whether it be a husband, daughter, nephew, grandchild or even a son in law. I’m sure many of you recall how enjoyable it was to watch a movie with Betty because she usually knew all the actors and actresses in the movie. Or sometimes, in a light moment, Betty would sing in her sweet alto voice. But most of all, Betty had a quiet dignity whether it was watching her grandchildren, making a meal, watching her Cubs, and just sitting down and talking to her. Betty also had a strength about her as she faced illness through much of her life.
We are confronted with a great loss as we grapple with her no longer being with us. As Betty now watches down over us from heaven we are given a choice of whether we become weaker as a result of losing someone so dear.
In the alternative, we could strengthen old friendships and seek out new friends. We can be inspired by Betty’s loss and look at what brings us together instead of what tears us apart. We can choose NOT to be diminished by her loss and realize that we too need to be ready when God calls us to heaven." -
ONE LAST THING
I am truly impressed with my youngest brother, Kelly. He and his family were on vacation when Betty died. As they were coming back to Wisconsin (where they live), Kelly's wife and kids went to Milwaukee (where her family is) and Kelly stopped by Tinley Park, IL where the funeral was. Maribeth's father and his 2 daughters had not picked out pallbearers (our job was very abbreviated as there was no *burial service. All we had to do was lift the casket off the cart and into the hearse; it took less than a minute). So during the wake I asked Kelly if he could be a pallbearer, and he gracefully accepted. What he did was nothing short of impressive, and he is greatly appreciated for it.
*No burial service due to financial constraints.
The wake and funeral were all the same day, Saturday.
We all heard the saying, "When it rains, it pours". On Sunday, after a leak in the 1st Floor bathroom, part of the basement ceiling collapsed. Instead of Maribeth being at her father's place until 11am, she didn't come home until 4. So I said, "Maribeth, I'm sorry about the ceiling. That must have been a real pain! & so soon after the funeral"
Now, usually, Maribeth would go into a monologue of how difficult things are. However, this time she said, "that's ok". I was very impressed because it showed a certain newfound resiliance to her. That could be one of a number of factors why this time we stay together.
In general, we do come upon disagreements (much less than before), but it's only led to 2 or 3 heated arguments, and the arguments aren't the "barn burners" they used to be. So, I'm very encouraged by what has happened since November 5 when I first started living with her again. Plus, a few of the disagreements are my fault. I have a tendency to take clothes I wear and sling them over a chair rather than put them in the hamper or in the alternative hang them up in the closet. So I need to take a little more time in keeping our modest condo more neat.
At the funeral, Diane, my son Andy, and I all give eulogies. One can see the reference I make to getting back together in my eulogy. Also, my wife wrote a eulogy and a poem. Both were very articulate. She also directed me to read from Eclesiates, & the passage read was then turned into a song "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds in the 60s. Here is what I said:
BETTY REMEMBERED
All of us here have been fortunate enough to spend some time with Betty, whether it be a husband, daughter, nephew, grandchild or even a son in law. I’m sure many of you recall how enjoyable it was to watch a movie with Betty because she usually knew all the actors and actresses in the movie. Or sometimes, in a light moment, Betty would sing in her sweet alto voice. But most of all, Betty had a quiet dignity whether it was watching her grandchildren, making a meal, watching her Cubs, and just sitting down and talking to her. Betty also had a strength about her as she faced illness through much of her life.
We are confronted with a great loss as we grapple with her no longer being with us. As Betty now watches down over us from heaven we are given a choice of whether we become weaker as a result of losing someone so dear.
In the alternative, we could strengthen old friendships and seek out new friends. We can be inspired by Betty’s loss and look at what brings us together instead of what tears us apart. We can choose NOT to be diminished by her loss and realize that we too need to be ready when God calls us to heaven." -
ONE LAST THING
I am truly impressed with my youngest brother, Kelly. He and his family were on vacation when Betty died. As they were coming back to Wisconsin (where they live), Kelly's wife and kids went to Milwaukee (where her family is) and Kelly stopped by Tinley Park, IL where the funeral was. Maribeth's father and his 2 daughters had not picked out pallbearers (our job was very abbreviated as there was no *burial service. All we had to do was lift the casket off the cart and into the hearse; it took less than a minute). So during the wake I asked Kelly if he could be a pallbearer, and he gracefully accepted. What he did was nothing short of impressive, and he is greatly appreciated for it.
*No burial service due to financial constraints.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
A night at the Daley Ctr, LOOP area of Chicago
We went to the Daley Center and had German food and hot chocalate. The XMAS tree is really about 60 ft. tall but is made up of about 8 pines. Very fun outing.
Friday, December 01, 2006
1st miracle witnessed?
Well, it's official. I'm back with my ex wife. I am giving my landlord 2 months notice as my lease ends Jan. 31. We have no idea what the future holds; we have no plans to vacate the divorce decree. But the fact that I am still paying her child support means that I don't pay by check for household expenses. It's still roughly 50-50, and I'm obviously putting more money into the household than when I lived in Midlothian.
Why did she change her mind?
She thought she had cancer, and I helped her and helped also with the kids. I was there during a crisis. & I've been there to help them and put aside partisanship repeatedly in the past.
Nothing really funky happened during the marriage that made us think it's impossible to go back to ex-spouse. There was no cheating. The relationship went into coma due to combat fatigue - too much arguing.
She said that she was tired and that life was hard without me. In her words, she said she was tired of burning the candle at both ends.
We had our first unresolved fight last night, but the thing is that we do far less arguing than before. I can't say that things are going to be hunky dory from now on. I can't even say we're going to remarry. For right now, we are pooling our money together, saving money and we'll see what happens. I've already told the kids that if, God forbid, the relationship fails, please don't think that they had anything to do with contributing to the failure. I told them that they can only make things better, can only create a positive, not a negative. They understand.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
the best news ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have good news but can't tell anyone yet. If you can guess, I'll give you a prize. Write in!!!!!!! Post a comment.
I need you dear reader to share the joy. If you can't do it, I'll continue to go on and be bathed in the glow of this awesome news, but it sure would be nice for you to give me some input.
I need you dear reader to share the joy. If you can't do it, I'll continue to go on and be bathed in the glow of this awesome news, but it sure would be nice for you to give me some input.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
weather nonsense!
October 12, my daughter's 5th birthday. It's snowing, and from 300 ft. up in the air (I work in a skyscraper) not just snowing but snowing hard.
WTF!!!!!
& since nothing has been working for me since this past spring I couldn't upload a picture of snow because my computer refused to. Oh well. What else can you say, oh well........................
WTF!!!!!
& since nothing has been working for me since this past spring I couldn't upload a picture of snow because my computer refused to. Oh well. What else can you say, oh well........................
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
A Flowered Experience
In appreciation of my presence at a party, a small unimposing gift was given to me on Labor Day. For days & weeks the gift laid obscurely amid my collection of pens and coins. Finally, on a dark and solitary Friday night, I embraced the wrapped, dried plant, attached it to a clip, put it to my lips and lit a fire to it.
I inhaled greedily. I inhaled with the hope of never exhaling. I inhaled with the yearning that my circulation, my consciousness and maybe my soul would embrace its essence. Would it elevate me or would its diminutive size yield emptiness? Over and over I inhaled with insatiable need.
HOSANNA, as it revealed it’s euphoria!! The corners of my mouth were lovingly, gently pulled back into a shit-eating grin. My blissful joy recalled a distant memory of getting stoned during Finals Week. My roommate casually looked at me and declared, "God Vince, that’s the first time you smiled all semester!"
Due to my fatigue, my eyes did not close but became slanted. The music from the second side of Abbey Road and the burning fragrance of the roach lifted me to a place I longed for. The music drifted into my altered ears and played far more meaningful, fervent, compelling and sweetly to me than it ever sounded when I was sober. The sublime beauty made me sway back and forth like a metronome. As I played Lennon’s "#9 Dream" and listened to the end lyrics sang in a foreign language, I, myself, faintly felt the power to speak in tongues. The dialect was not Persian, Macedonian nor Hebrew as it was in that scene described in Acts of the Apostles. Instead, I felt the fleeting power to speak Mandarin, Cantonese or Japanese. As the first syllables formed on my lips, I walked away and through a door that allowed me to continue to undulate and immerse myself to the music. I recalled and missed slightly not finding the song "Strawberry Fields Forever". Played in this altered state, the halting opening melody weeps, Lennon’s voice commands a hushed reverence as it sounds so compelling! One other night nearly a generation ago, I sat stoned watching a Grateful Dead concert. The thought, the stream of consciousness is so elevatingly amazing!!. "Wow," I thought, "Jerry Garcia looks like a puppy up there singing. For several minutes (or was it hours?) I imagined in an entranced state a Husky-bred dog being up on it hind legs and strumming guitar artfully and singing, "Truckin’" and other Dead songs.
My mind drifted to another college memory one year before the first. Embracing the charm and essence of hash, I sauntered into the dance club as the music bent and refracted in unique, shimmering, surreal, magical notes. So, I walked up to various people and asked, "Excuse me, but is the music being played at 78?" (78 rpm being the speed of records in the 1940s and 50s, just as 33 rpm was the speed we played our albums and 45 rpm the speed we played our singles). With grace and empathy, no one yelled, "No!" indignantly. All simply considered the possibility, weren’t sure or were simply humoring me and my stoned, clueless presence. Comments were made like, "Maybe" "I’m not sure?" "Well................I don’t....know". As the intoxication wore off, the music slowed down and played as it normally does.
And eventually, I had to leave this lovely ride that Friday night. The music sounded as it usually does, John Lennon sounded articulate but normal. The synthesizers and guitars, all the instrumentation no longer bent and refracted in a hundred beautiful ways. Then I wondered when the next time I would feel this wondrous way again. If history were any indication, I would not for another 6-12 months. This plant, this flowered experience is something I go many, many months and sometimes even years without feeling its wondrous embrace.
This concludes my series about my drug consumption. The series can be found in the blogs of May but more likely June of 2005. Many drugs I did not consume, but obviously, I'm not going to break my arm patting myself on the back. I do feel that I want control in my life. Since drugs don't do that, I rarely take them (unless they 're the ones prescribed). I know that it wasn't much of a series seeing as how there was over a year gap between the last one and 2nd to last one, but apparently to most, this isn't much of a blog!! At least I like it! :)
I inhaled greedily. I inhaled with the hope of never exhaling. I inhaled with the yearning that my circulation, my consciousness and maybe my soul would embrace its essence. Would it elevate me or would its diminutive size yield emptiness? Over and over I inhaled with insatiable need.
HOSANNA, as it revealed it’s euphoria!! The corners of my mouth were lovingly, gently pulled back into a shit-eating grin. My blissful joy recalled a distant memory of getting stoned during Finals Week. My roommate casually looked at me and declared, "God Vince, that’s the first time you smiled all semester!"
Due to my fatigue, my eyes did not close but became slanted. The music from the second side of Abbey Road and the burning fragrance of the roach lifted me to a place I longed for. The music drifted into my altered ears and played far more meaningful, fervent, compelling and sweetly to me than it ever sounded when I was sober. The sublime beauty made me sway back and forth like a metronome. As I played Lennon’s "#9 Dream" and listened to the end lyrics sang in a foreign language, I, myself, faintly felt the power to speak in tongues. The dialect was not Persian, Macedonian nor Hebrew as it was in that scene described in Acts of the Apostles. Instead, I felt the fleeting power to speak Mandarin, Cantonese or Japanese. As the first syllables formed on my lips, I walked away and through a door that allowed me to continue to undulate and immerse myself to the music. I recalled and missed slightly not finding the song "Strawberry Fields Forever". Played in this altered state, the halting opening melody weeps, Lennon’s voice commands a hushed reverence as it sounds so compelling! One other night nearly a generation ago, I sat stoned watching a Grateful Dead concert. The thought, the stream of consciousness is so elevatingly amazing!!. "Wow," I thought, "Jerry Garcia looks like a puppy up there singing. For several minutes (or was it hours?) I imagined in an entranced state a Husky-bred dog being up on it hind legs and strumming guitar artfully and singing, "Truckin’" and other Dead songs.
My mind drifted to another college memory one year before the first. Embracing the charm and essence of hash, I sauntered into the dance club as the music bent and refracted in unique, shimmering, surreal, magical notes. So, I walked up to various people and asked, "Excuse me, but is the music being played at 78?" (78 rpm being the speed of records in the 1940s and 50s, just as 33 rpm was the speed we played our albums and 45 rpm the speed we played our singles). With grace and empathy, no one yelled, "No!" indignantly. All simply considered the possibility, weren’t sure or were simply humoring me and my stoned, clueless presence. Comments were made like, "Maybe" "I’m not sure?" "Well................I don’t....know". As the intoxication wore off, the music slowed down and played as it normally does.
And eventually, I had to leave this lovely ride that Friday night. The music sounded as it usually does, John Lennon sounded articulate but normal. The synthesizers and guitars, all the instrumentation no longer bent and refracted in a hundred beautiful ways. Then I wondered when the next time I would feel this wondrous way again. If history were any indication, I would not for another 6-12 months. This plant, this flowered experience is something I go many, many months and sometimes even years without feeling its wondrous embrace.
This concludes my series about my drug consumption. The series can be found in the blogs of May but more likely June of 2005. Many drugs I did not consume, but obviously, I'm not going to break my arm patting myself on the back. I do feel that I want control in my life. Since drugs don't do that, I rarely take them (unless they 're the ones prescribed). I know that it wasn't much of a series seeing as how there was over a year gap between the last one and 2nd to last one, but apparently to most, this isn't much of a blog!! At least I like it! :)
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Part 2 of 2, the alternate of chemistry, traits
Here's what I think is better when looking for the right person. Have certain TANGIBLE expectations of a person. If they don't meet those expectations, then stop dating them or better yet, resolve to be just friends. If they do meet those expectations, keep dating them, once you get to know them (and especially know their weaknesses, bad traits) deepen the relationship. Don't expect chemistry dont expect to be inspired.
Also, here's an example. It would be nice if I met a woman who was really interested in history and politics. But that's not one of my expectations because there's not that many in my area that have that interest. Yet it is important that the woman has a job, wants to follow a budget as much as I do once we live together/marry, has the same spending sensibilities, would like to discuss the Bible, loves my kids and maybe a few other traits.
The point is that I'm not going to torture my prospect with this intangible, nebulous idea that they have to have chemistry with me. & then if they ask what chemistry is I give some pointless circular explanation like "it's a feeling, a gut reaction". That's unfair.
But that's the dilemma and difference between the 2 sexes. & this is a mere generalization and isn't true all the time. I don't pretend to know women or men but there's somethings that I see over and over again. Men emphasize objectivity, facts. Women emphasize feelings, the subjective (BUT the feelings are often based on facts). Men emphasize the cognitive domain; woman the affective domain.
I wish I was wrong when I explain that. I wish that there was some woman in the SW suburban Chicago area who could give me a list of tangible traits that she wants and then it's just a matter of following them. But that probably won't happen. All I can do is keep trying. Hope/pray for the best. This whole process REALLY SUCKS!!
Also, here's an example. It would be nice if I met a woman who was really interested in history and politics. But that's not one of my expectations because there's not that many in my area that have that interest. Yet it is important that the woman has a job, wants to follow a budget as much as I do once we live together/marry, has the same spending sensibilities, would like to discuss the Bible, loves my kids and maybe a few other traits.
The point is that I'm not going to torture my prospect with this intangible, nebulous idea that they have to have chemistry with me. & then if they ask what chemistry is I give some pointless circular explanation like "it's a feeling, a gut reaction". That's unfair.
But that's the dilemma and difference between the 2 sexes. & this is a mere generalization and isn't true all the time. I don't pretend to know women or men but there's somethings that I see over and over again. Men emphasize objectivity, facts. Women emphasize feelings, the subjective (BUT the feelings are often based on facts). Men emphasize the cognitive domain; woman the affective domain.
I wish I was wrong when I explain that. I wish that there was some woman in the SW suburban Chicago area who could give me a list of tangible traits that she wants and then it's just a matter of following them. But that probably won't happen. All I can do is keep trying. Hope/pray for the best. This whole process REALLY SUCKS!!
I hate chemistry (not the class either)
on my dating website www.relationships.com we have what's called message boards. Supposing you have a questions about something many guys do and it's hard to figure out. Ask the message board and 100s of guys will see it and some will respond to you. It's a nice forum. so tonight a woman who kind of leads the message board because she is so active in it asked this
Guys, what do you think is "chemistry"?
Here was my reply.
Chemistry is nonsense really. Why give certain things that you want and seek some nebulous, intangible term?!?
If you don't want someone who is 70 lbs. overweight, that's not the desire for chemistry that's the desire to not be with someone morbidly obese.
If you want someone who is physically active, then you don't want chemistry, you want someone with a certain ability to run, bike, skate play a rigorous athletic game.
If you want someone who has a great sense of humor, that isn't chemistry that's seeking a particular personality trait.
Then you get those who say, "Well it's not just looks, it's not just a personality trait."
I say, "Fine, then you want a certain combination of personality traits and personal attributes, that's all. Whatever."
Chemistry has become a bit personal for me, because it's been leading to some major frustration. I've gone out on 4 dates this past summer and with all 4 women I never made it to the 2nd date. (What an admission!) Anyway, 3 out of 4 of the women either told me or their friends who I knew that there wasn't chemistry. After that happened the 1st 2 times, I became very desperate and tried to rewind the date and look at what I had done. I desperately needed to find out what I had done WRONG so that I wouldn't do it again & then hopefully have better results.
Date #4 occurred last Friday. Everything went well. We had great conversation, I was impressed with her, she complemented me at certain points during the date, I even made her laugh. Everything went well from beginning to end. So what happened yesterday? She told me she had a great time. She told me I'm a wonderful person, very good listener, really nice person. She stated I did everything well on the date!! I even asked her if the fact that I'm somewhat overweight (by about 30-50 lbs) had anything to do with her decision and she said no because she had a strong relationship with someone over 300 lbs. But she would not go out with me again because there wasn't enough chemistry between us! She said chemistry is hard to come by. She said if there were 100 guys (and the group had different characteristics both physically and personality wise) she would at the most pick 2 of them because there wouldn't be any chemistry between her & the other 98 or 99.
Well you know what? I can't be upset with this woman at all, primarily because she explained clearly what happened to me when I dated this summer, and I had no idea before. She was very honest, upfront with me and answered all my questions about the aftermath in a very forthright manner. & if she is holding out for the 1 guy who can inspire her/motivate her, well, more power to her, I guess.
But the problem is that it would have been easier if I was doing something wrong on the date. Then I could correct what I was doing wrong and then I could go out on the elusive 2nd date, maybe have that relationship/love I've been looking for. As it stands now, if I date the same type of women I have this summer, I could date 20 or 30 times more (which basically takes us to the end of next year), do everything right on the date and never go on a 2nd date. All because of the dreaded "chemistry". & the thing is that you don't know, really, which women want certain attributes and which ones want the elusive "chemistry". After this summer of dating, I really resent chemistry - that word, that idea, that onerous pursuit.
Part 1 of 2
Guys, what do you think is "chemistry"?
Here was my reply.
Chemistry is nonsense really. Why give certain things that you want and seek some nebulous, intangible term?!?
If you don't want someone who is 70 lbs. overweight, that's not the desire for chemistry that's the desire to not be with someone morbidly obese.
If you want someone who is physically active, then you don't want chemistry, you want someone with a certain ability to run, bike, skate play a rigorous athletic game.
If you want someone who has a great sense of humor, that isn't chemistry that's seeking a particular personality trait.
Then you get those who say, "Well it's not just looks, it's not just a personality trait."
I say, "Fine, then you want a certain combination of personality traits and personal attributes, that's all. Whatever."
Chemistry has become a bit personal for me, because it's been leading to some major frustration. I've gone out on 4 dates this past summer and with all 4 women I never made it to the 2nd date. (What an admission!) Anyway, 3 out of 4 of the women either told me or their friends who I knew that there wasn't chemistry. After that happened the 1st 2 times, I became very desperate and tried to rewind the date and look at what I had done. I desperately needed to find out what I had done WRONG so that I wouldn't do it again & then hopefully have better results.
Date #4 occurred last Friday. Everything went well. We had great conversation, I was impressed with her, she complemented me at certain points during the date, I even made her laugh. Everything went well from beginning to end. So what happened yesterday? She told me she had a great time. She told me I'm a wonderful person, very good listener, really nice person. She stated I did everything well on the date!! I even asked her if the fact that I'm somewhat overweight (by about 30-50 lbs) had anything to do with her decision and she said no because she had a strong relationship with someone over 300 lbs. But she would not go out with me again because there wasn't enough chemistry between us! She said chemistry is hard to come by. She said if there were 100 guys (and the group had different characteristics both physically and personality wise) she would at the most pick 2 of them because there wouldn't be any chemistry between her & the other 98 or 99.
Well you know what? I can't be upset with this woman at all, primarily because she explained clearly what happened to me when I dated this summer, and I had no idea before. She was very honest, upfront with me and answered all my questions about the aftermath in a very forthright manner. & if she is holding out for the 1 guy who can inspire her/motivate her, well, more power to her, I guess.
But the problem is that it would have been easier if I was doing something wrong on the date. Then I could correct what I was doing wrong and then I could go out on the elusive 2nd date, maybe have that relationship/love I've been looking for. As it stands now, if I date the same type of women I have this summer, I could date 20 or 30 times more (which basically takes us to the end of next year), do everything right on the date and never go on a 2nd date. All because of the dreaded "chemistry". & the thing is that you don't know, really, which women want certain attributes and which ones want the elusive "chemistry". After this summer of dating, I really resent chemistry - that word, that idea, that onerous pursuit.
Part 1 of 2
Monday, September 11, 2006
An ambitious little girl!
My kids are pretty young and if I’m not attentive they can create a pretty big mess in my apartment; however, they are slowly learning to clean up after themselves. Also, my sons are learning how to do laundry, clean the toilet, scrub the sink, sort out laundry and put away clean clothes, etc.
Yesterday, a surprising moment occurred. Minutes after getting the kids situated after their arrival, I decided to sweep and mop the bathroom floor (after not doing so for about 3 months, it seemed like a good idea).
Around the time I was finished mopping and putting things back, my youngest, my 4-yr. old daughter, Brianna, came up to me and said, "I want to mop the kitchen floor, Daddy." So I told her that before we mop the floor, we have to sweep it first. So as I moved objects out of the kitchen, Brianna swept the floor. She even was able to use the broom and the dust pan at the same time. When she mopped the floor she would dip the mop into the bucket but (even after showing her how) she would forget to squeeze the water out of the mop before mopping the floor. So, the floor became almost poolike as Brianna drenched the kitchen floor while mopping it. (That was probably fortuitous because it gave me a 2nd opportunity to wipe the formerly-dirty floor back to cleanliness.) Of course, I gently corrected her, and at the same time wanted to encourage and foster the idea of what a "wonderful activity" sweeping and mopping the floor was. Also, I paid her $2, and she told me where we would spend the money she has saved in her little horsey bank.
So, inspite of my favorite team losing badly, Sunday was a happy day and maybe my floors will get cleaned more regularly than once a season (whether they need it or not)!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Grateful, but want to be quieter
Yes, it's the start of a nice long weekend, but I am less than happy. Now life treats me no better or worse than anyone else (& certainly better than all the billions starving in Africa and Asia), I don't feel unfairly treated. I'm neither angry nor distraught.
Disappointed? Yes maybe a little. So I wrote this.
THE VIRTUES OF RETICENCE
Don’t tell your friend how bad you feel when he or she tells you of their pain and suffering. You’ll only make them feel worse
Don’t dump an upsetting problem on a person who you thought was a friend, but really wasn’t. They’ll think you’re a mental case.
Don’t be sad and downcast to people on Tuesday after telling anyone who cared to listen to you about what a great weekend you will have. People will wonder why you built your hopes so high.
After a life-changing tragedy, don’t tell people how devastated you are, because they will wonder and theorize "what’s really wrong with you".
Only say good, positive things on your first date and put forth a "winning persona". Don’t say anything self-deprecating on your first date or admit any flaws because when they think about whether or not to go out with you again (or even talk to you again) they’ll only remember what you did or said wrong.
If you don’t hear from your 1st date for a number of days, don’t call them and ask what went wrong. Being the kind, sweet, considerate person she is, she will only give you a kind, sweet, considerate excuse. They’ll tell you about how crazy it’s been at work rather than the fact that they were bothered by you admitting your "little bitty apartment resembled a pigsty".
Don’t get fired at work, because as soon as you leave, people will talk about what a lousy worker you were.
Don’t ever lose your temper no matter what or someone will think that you’re a dangerous sociopath. (Never thinking about what they did to provoke it in the first place.)
Don’t tell someone your upset with, that you’ll never speak to them again. You’ll get the irresistable urge to say something later.
Don’t lose a friend, you’ll have a very difficult time getting them back.
Don’t vent in chat or a message board. Readers are unlikely to feel your points as keenly as you do and they’ll wonder what your problem is. They’ll might even think you’re disturbed.
Remember these famous and not so famous quotes:
Do 200 things well and make one big mistake, guess what people will remember?
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
If you feel good, don’t worry, you’ll get over it!
Oh, but there are a few saving graces: only tell God how frustrated and angry you are. Only tell God that your not sure how to solve a problem. If you admit your mistakes and sins to God, it won’t come back to haunt you later. God won’t hold your past work experiences against you. God won’t make you feel embarassed about the time you couldn’t stand it anymore and cried. God won’t ridicule you if you said the wrong thing.
Disappointed? Yes maybe a little. So I wrote this.
THE VIRTUES OF RETICENCE
Don’t tell your friend how bad you feel when he or she tells you of their pain and suffering. You’ll only make them feel worse
Don’t dump an upsetting problem on a person who you thought was a friend, but really wasn’t. They’ll think you’re a mental case.
Don’t be sad and downcast to people on Tuesday after telling anyone who cared to listen to you about what a great weekend you will have. People will wonder why you built your hopes so high.
After a life-changing tragedy, don’t tell people how devastated you are, because they will wonder and theorize "what’s really wrong with you".
Only say good, positive things on your first date and put forth a "winning persona". Don’t say anything self-deprecating on your first date or admit any flaws because when they think about whether or not to go out with you again (or even talk to you again) they’ll only remember what you did or said wrong.
If you don’t hear from your 1st date for a number of days, don’t call them and ask what went wrong. Being the kind, sweet, considerate person she is, she will only give you a kind, sweet, considerate excuse. They’ll tell you about how crazy it’s been at work rather than the fact that they were bothered by you admitting your "little bitty apartment resembled a pigsty".
Don’t get fired at work, because as soon as you leave, people will talk about what a lousy worker you were.
Don’t ever lose your temper no matter what or someone will think that you’re a dangerous sociopath. (Never thinking about what they did to provoke it in the first place.)
Don’t tell someone your upset with, that you’ll never speak to them again. You’ll get the irresistable urge to say something later.
Don’t lose a friend, you’ll have a very difficult time getting them back.
Don’t vent in chat or a message board. Readers are unlikely to feel your points as keenly as you do and they’ll wonder what your problem is. They’ll might even think you’re disturbed.
Remember these famous and not so famous quotes:
Do 200 things well and make one big mistake, guess what people will remember?
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
If you feel good, don’t worry, you’ll get over it!
Oh, but there are a few saving graces: only tell God how frustrated and angry you are. Only tell God that your not sure how to solve a problem. If you admit your mistakes and sins to God, it won’t come back to haunt you later. God won’t hold your past work experiences against you. God won’t make you feel embarassed about the time you couldn’t stand it anymore and cried. God won’t ridicule you if you said the wrong thing.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
FREE YOUR MIND
I put this on the Christian dating website that I belong to, Relationships.com. But I think you all could use this as well.
Stop being so judgmental! Try to attempt the following (they won’t hurt)
1. Don’t care about someone’s hair color (brown is as nice as blonde).
2. Stop making judgments and pin it on some obscure mindset in the Bible like someone saying that those who paint their nails purple or black (& doing the same to their hair) are sinful. ( I think it’s even cool that the lead singer of the Breeders, Kim Deal, used black shoe polish to color her hair. Again, my mind has been freed).
3. Don’t worry about the way you dance.
4. Don’t obsess over your clothes, don’t even worry that much about ironing (that’s an AWFUL chore anyway).
5. Don’t cry if you haven’t mopped your floor in a couple weeks or vacuumed the carpet in a week or so (emphasis on the "or so").
6. Have a discussion about politics and religion (not at the same time) with someone (ANYONE). THEY’RE IMPORTANT TOPICS!! Plus, it will have the added benefit of motivating you to stay well informed.
7. Date someone who is 40 lbs. (or more) overweight. They try harder. You’ll find out that you’ll forget about the weight when you see what wonderful personalities they possess.
8. Encourage the lady who is 5'6" and 120 lbs. to eat a large pizza (by herself).
9. Chew some gum on a crowded street and snap it really loud!
In an attempt to free your mind remember or do the following:
1. Remember that most liberals fully support the war in Afganistan.
2. Most liberals aren’t atheists.
3. Most of Western Europe is too liberal (ok enough about politics)
4. Find out where Surinam is.
5. Hear a rock band you never heard before or an obscure band that plays the type of music you enjoy.
6. Find out why 1968 was such a sad year.
7. Find out what time period the US had the longest period of prosperity.
8. Find out where the Straits of Hormuz is.
9. Don’t be so upset when someone thinks differently than you.
10. Don’t be so quick to say that someone is guilty.
11. Things aren’t always the way the seem, and sometimes it’s good to find out why.
12. Most liberals are against gay marriage. It’s true!!
Stop being so judgmental! Try to attempt the following (they won’t hurt)
1. Don’t care about someone’s hair color (brown is as nice as blonde).
2. Stop making judgments and pin it on some obscure mindset in the Bible like someone saying that those who paint their nails purple or black (& doing the same to their hair) are sinful. ( I think it’s even cool that the lead singer of the Breeders, Kim Deal, used black shoe polish to color her hair. Again, my mind has been freed).
3. Don’t worry about the way you dance.
4. Don’t obsess over your clothes, don’t even worry that much about ironing (that’s an AWFUL chore anyway).
5. Don’t cry if you haven’t mopped your floor in a couple weeks or vacuumed the carpet in a week or so (emphasis on the "or so").
6. Have a discussion about politics and religion (not at the same time) with someone (ANYONE). THEY’RE IMPORTANT TOPICS!! Plus, it will have the added benefit of motivating you to stay well informed.
7. Date someone who is 40 lbs. (or more) overweight. They try harder. You’ll find out that you’ll forget about the weight when you see what wonderful personalities they possess.
8. Encourage the lady who is 5'6" and 120 lbs. to eat a large pizza (by herself).
9. Chew some gum on a crowded street and snap it really loud!
In an attempt to free your mind remember or do the following:
1. Remember that most liberals fully support the war in Afganistan.
2. Most liberals aren’t atheists.
3. Most of Western Europe is too liberal (ok enough about politics)
4. Find out where Surinam is.
5. Hear a rock band you never heard before or an obscure band that plays the type of music you enjoy.
6. Find out why 1968 was such a sad year.
7. Find out what time period the US had the longest period of prosperity.
8. Find out where the Straits of Hormuz is.
9. Don’t be so upset when someone thinks differently than you.
10. Don’t be so quick to say that someone is guilty.
11. Things aren’t always the way the seem, and sometimes it’s good to find out why.
12. Most liberals are against gay marriage. It’s true!!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
"I choose not to run"
After being on the TMA (Terrace Maintenance Assoc.) Board for 5 years, I am going to call it quits. I have been president since last August. Being at the pinnacle of power (yeah right!), has made me grow tired of helping run the condo so I will retire in November. Let someone else do it.
Accomplishments? I helped settle a lawsuit against the TMA, I have helped with running the pool, have approved (and in some cases, refused to approve) a number of decisions, worked towards keeping the condo complex fiscally stable, been a peacemaker and smoothed over several disputes, listened to numerous complaints and acted on them so that the complainant's grievance was solved.
What is the TMA exactly (see Aug., 2005 as this also give more info about the complex and the people there)? There are 28 building with 6 units in each one. 3 units are 2 bedroom condo units and the other 3 are 1 bedroom units.
The budget is over $200,000. We hire trash haulers, general maintenance contractors, laundry units company, pool attendants for the summer, electricians, & on and on and on. The problem that I have is that certain people don't always give me the situation in the most honest fashion. I have to spend inordinate amount of time finding what really happens. The same person draws numerous complaints some deserved, some not. Then certain board members are trying to circumvent the Cond0 By Laws to hold onto as much power as they can. The newest scheme? Since I am leaving another Board memeber isn't running either, instead of having an election for them as they have each of the last 30 years, they want to go down to a 5 member Board. But the By Laws clearly state that our Board MUST have 7 members! One of my last acts as a President is to stop their foolishness and insure that there will be a an election and not some stupid power grab.
Now if there is someone out there that suggests that I should quit because I need more time to myself, they are right. I need to spend that extra time finding a nice calm woman. That would suit me great, because it was really nice to have such a woman like that this past spring.
Accomplishments? I helped settle a lawsuit against the TMA, I have helped with running the pool, have approved (and in some cases, refused to approve) a number of decisions, worked towards keeping the condo complex fiscally stable, been a peacemaker and smoothed over several disputes, listened to numerous complaints and acted on them so that the complainant's grievance was solved.
What is the TMA exactly (see Aug., 2005 as this also give more info about the complex and the people there)? There are 28 building with 6 units in each one. 3 units are 2 bedroom condo units and the other 3 are 1 bedroom units.
The budget is over $200,000. We hire trash haulers, general maintenance contractors, laundry units company, pool attendants for the summer, electricians, & on and on and on. The problem that I have is that certain people don't always give me the situation in the most honest fashion. I have to spend inordinate amount of time finding what really happens. The same person draws numerous complaints some deserved, some not. Then certain board members are trying to circumvent the Cond0 By Laws to hold onto as much power as they can. The newest scheme? Since I am leaving another Board memeber isn't running either, instead of having an election for them as they have each of the last 30 years, they want to go down to a 5 member Board. But the By Laws clearly state that our Board MUST have 7 members! One of my last acts as a President is to stop their foolishness and insure that there will be a an election and not some stupid power grab.
Now if there is someone out there that suggests that I should quit because I need more time to myself, they are right. I need to spend that extra time finding a nice calm woman. That would suit me great, because it was really nice to have such a woman like that this past spring.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
"Saviano stop raping my wife"
Subtitle: Strangeness in the LoopThere has been a widespread story making its way on blogs. & guess what?? I have firsthand knowledge of the story! The Richard J. Daley Center is a 30 story building over 400 ft. tall and is the site of civil litigation in Cook County (not all of it but most of it). Several of the floors are dedicated to divorces and child custody. I am a paralegal that occasionally files documents at the Law Division so I walk by the strange sight above of this man who stays motionless and expressionless for hours on end.
A married couple by the name of Farhad Khoiee-Abassi and Shabnam Vahabinazhad had kids and are now getting a divorce. The divorce is very bitter and has been going on over 2 years. There have been custody fights over the kids and Ms. Vahabinazhad has needed protection orders to protect herself against her upset husband. Since Mr. Khoiee-Abassi is Arabic could there be an honor killing afoot? Maybe, maybe not, but his estranged wife doesn't feel very safe.
Mr. Khoiee-Abassi has been, of course, very frustrated with the whole process. So to vent his frustration he has done the following, with the sign above, "FBI Agent Chris Saviano stop raping my wife" Why are so many bloggers grasping at straws regarding this story? Because no one really knows who "Chris Saviano" is. The records of those who work at the FBI are understandably hard to get access to so the FBI is obviously not going to help unwrap this mystery. Mr. Khoiee-Abassi is very mute and talks only rarely so he doesn't explain why he singled out the supposed "Chris Saviano". The only concrete part of this story is the fact that the above couple is in a very bitter divorce.
There is a fairly decent discussion about this event on http://hyalineskies.com/2006/08/the-chris-saviano-effect/
Oh, & get this! He's been at the Daley Ctr. on such a regular basis that he's become a tourist attraction. Now people come up next to him, turn to their friend's camera and give a big wave, like they're next to the Sears Tower or Lake Michigan or something! Predictably he just stands there and ignores the posing and cameras.
As you may have noticed, I subtitled this post "Strangeness in the Loop" The Loop is a part of downtown Chicago so named because the El CTA train tracks form a loop with a rectangle of streets which they are above (Wells, Van Buren, Wabash, & Lake Sts.) Mr. Khoiee-Abassi is not the only strange part of the Loop. You have a myriad of beggars and homeless people. Today, I saw a young woman advertise that she found out on the ultrasound that she was pregnant, and he will be a boy. So she, of course, needed your cash. Another woman with sunglasses (to show that she was hiding bruises), advertised that she was beat up and assaulted so she also needed money. Man, the lady I admire most, Jean Teasdale, would be extremely busy trying to help them!
The homeless even have their own newspaper, Streetwise. Much of the money goes to the homeless person selling the paper (which is only a dollar). They paper is professionally done and some of the homeless have actually used the money to advance themselves and no longer be homeless. I've bought it numerous times. It's a good paper.
But I really do like working in the Loop, and I'm only 2 blocks away from the Daley Center and the very stoic, mute Mr. Khoiee-Abassi. Poor guy.
Monday, July 24, 2006
A cycle of irony
Irony: (#3) An incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result. - from Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary
I get overwrought, cranky & edgy after I work a nasty night shift. This morning is no exception. I am gritting my teeth with disgust. There's just this disgusting cycle of events. I need to work at Ingalls so that I have health insurance & pay child support.
THEREFORE:
1.In order to work at Ingalls I have to work 12 hr. night shifts
2.In order to work 12 hr. night shifts, I have to get my prescription amphetamines (known as Adderrall) or else I'll fall asleep at work and get fired.
3.In order to get Adderall, I have to pay $20 each & EVERY month to see a psychiatrist.
4.In order to see the psychiatrist I have to get a referral.
& TO GET A REFERRAL I HAVE TO STAY UP AN EXTRA 1 HOUR TO GO TO HIS CLINIC AT 8:15 & GET THE DAMN REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
What I really need is some weed or hash, which would make me smile a lot more than I am now. You don't need to get a damn referral to smoke weed, you don't need to stay up an hour over & above the 12 hrs of night you already worked. Just take out that sweet old joy herb, put it in the pipe, strike the match, feel the love, and wear a shit-eating grin on your face. I'm a firm believer in the slogan, "better living through chemicals!"
Oh, I know, I need both weed and Adderall. The Adderall for staying up and fulfilling my job at Ingalls, and weed for chilling out when I'm in a foul mood after work. Believe me THC is one of the better chemicals in God's green earth! I'm going to get my referral now, I'm going back to Ingalls @ 8:15 & the only thing keeping me awake on the way there is the anger & disgust I feel.
Hopefully, I'm pissed off enough that I won't fall asleep and run head on into the many semis I meet on the way there. ("When you got off work at 7:15am, why didn't you just stay at Ingalls and get the referral at 8:15 when the Dr.'s ofc opened????" you ask. Well, because I was in such a pissy mood I couldn't bear waiting for an hour holding my dick!
I get overwrought, cranky & edgy after I work a nasty night shift. This morning is no exception. I am gritting my teeth with disgust. There's just this disgusting cycle of events. I need to work at Ingalls so that I have health insurance & pay child support.
THEREFORE:
1.In order to work at Ingalls I have to work 12 hr. night shifts
2.In order to work 12 hr. night shifts, I have to get my prescription amphetamines (known as Adderrall) or else I'll fall asleep at work and get fired.
3.In order to get Adderall, I have to pay $20 each & EVERY month to see a psychiatrist.
4.In order to see the psychiatrist I have to get a referral.
& TO GET A REFERRAL I HAVE TO STAY UP AN EXTRA 1 HOUR TO GO TO HIS CLINIC AT 8:15 & GET THE DAMN REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
What I really need is some weed or hash, which would make me smile a lot more than I am now. You don't need to get a damn referral to smoke weed, you don't need to stay up an hour over & above the 12 hrs of night you already worked. Just take out that sweet old joy herb, put it in the pipe, strike the match, feel the love, and wear a shit-eating grin on your face. I'm a firm believer in the slogan, "better living through chemicals!"
Oh, I know, I need both weed and Adderall. The Adderall for staying up and fulfilling my job at Ingalls, and weed for chilling out when I'm in a foul mood after work. Believe me THC is one of the better chemicals in God's green earth! I'm going to get my referral now, I'm going back to Ingalls @ 8:15 & the only thing keeping me awake on the way there is the anger & disgust I feel.
Hopefully, I'm pissed off enough that I won't fall asleep and run head on into the many semis I meet on the way there. ("When you got off work at 7:15am, why didn't you just stay at Ingalls and get the referral at 8:15 when the Dr.'s ofc opened????" you ask. Well, because I was in such a pissy mood I couldn't bear waiting for an hour holding my dick!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Indiana helps out the 4th
I'm not too crazy about Indiana's conservative politics. They're kind of the South Carolina of the Midwest. But Indiana gets one thing right and that's their policy concerning fireworks. I went east of the border today & went to the Black Cat on Indianapolis Blvd. It was really edifying to see whole families - mothers, fathers, sons & daughters - carrying armfuls of bombs & rockets. I can't stand how growing up Wisconsin banned firecrackers and bottle rockets. All they sold were sparklers and some lame ass smoke bombs.
I move to Illinois in 1989 and it's the same thing. Now we've got these lame, "nervous Nellies", (but to put it far more accurately out-and-out pain in the asses) who sit there and whine, "Ewwww, sparklers can heat up past 500 degrees. My moron son once grabbed a lit sparkler by the wrong end & got 3rd degree burns". So then there's even talk of banning sparklers! LAME!!!!!!!
Anyway, I only bought about $8 worth & got some firecrackers & bottle rockets (because of the "nervous nelly" states I've resided in, I'm a real amateur on fireworks and what's good and what's not). I've gave the cashier $10, & she gave me a dollar and then said she didn't want to make change for 67 cents so she asked if she could throw in about 8 packs of firecrackers. Sure why not? More bang for the buck.
I move to Illinois in 1989 and it's the same thing. Now we've got these lame, "nervous Nellies", (but to put it far more accurately out-and-out pain in the asses) who sit there and whine, "Ewwww, sparklers can heat up past 500 degrees. My moron son once grabbed a lit sparkler by the wrong end & got 3rd degree burns". So then there's even talk of banning sparklers! LAME!!!!!!!
Anyway, I only bought about $8 worth & got some firecrackers & bottle rockets (because of the "nervous nelly" states I've resided in, I'm a real amateur on fireworks and what's good and what's not). I've gave the cashier $10, & she gave me a dollar and then said she didn't want to make change for 67 cents so she asked if she could throw in about 8 packs of firecrackers. Sure why not? More bang for the buck.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Conversation @ work
Background: Yesterday, my co-worker at the law firm told me that she was breaking up with her boyfriend because he was lying to her (about where he was, not who he was sleeping with)
This morning (today)
K: Well, Eric & I are going to go (name of bar) to celebrate my birthday.
Me: But I thought you broke up with your boyfriend?
K: Yeah, well I decided that I really needed to get laid on my birthday.
This morning (today)
K: Well, Eric & I are going to go (name of bar) to celebrate my birthday.
Me: But I thought you broke up with your boyfriend?
K: Yeah, well I decided that I really needed to get laid on my birthday.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Excuse me,there's a bomb@your workplace
Night shift begins at the hospital just before 11 pm. The beginning of my shift is the busiest part of the entire shift. Around 11 pm. this Saturday, Cherie the supervising shift nurse tore into our tele room (all 6'1", 270 lbs. of her), red faced and red eyed and said, "there is a bomb threat, we have to send all 6 East patients to 6 West (which was an empty unit as it only handles overflow from other floors)." She continued, "One of you needs to help while the other one stays here." I stood up to volunteer and Hillary, my partner in the tele room, pointed to me to start moving patients. We asked Cherie how do we explain this to the patients (?!) Cherie replied, "We gotta tell them the truth."
The patients didn’t seem that upset perhaps they were too tired and too sick to raise a fuss about it. After we got done moving them, Hillary & I felt like captains on a sinking ship as we were the only ones on staff to stay @ 6 East, 2 floors away from where the bomb was supposedly going to blow. The rest of the staff was taking care of the evacuated patients. How could we not stay where we were; what if we left and a patient had a lethal heart rhythm?
Were we worried? No, there’s no way Al Queda is staying up at night somewhere near the Pakistan-Afgahn border saying, "Oh I know what we should do! Let’s bomb a mid size hospital in suburban Chicago. That’ll show the world we are a force to be reckoned with!" I mean really, who the hell would bomb a hospital? Also, how could they bring up enough bomb material to do any major damage? Maybe the whole thing was a drill.
I must say that a hospital can be an impressive place to work as they have a plan for every contingency. There’s a plan if there’s a tornado, fire, person kidnapping a newborn baby, somebody shitting on the floor, etc. All we did was follow the plan and within a ½ hour all of the floor’s patients were moved.
It ended up they cleared out the 4th floor, and there was no bomb. We learned that the 4th floor received 3 calls stating a bomb was on their floor. One call said it was detonating in 4 minutes. But it was not to be, we left work at 7:15 Easter morning safe and tired from an eventful night.
The patients didn’t seem that upset perhaps they were too tired and too sick to raise a fuss about it. After we got done moving them, Hillary & I felt like captains on a sinking ship as we were the only ones on staff to stay @ 6 East, 2 floors away from where the bomb was supposedly going to blow. The rest of the staff was taking care of the evacuated patients. How could we not stay where we were; what if we left and a patient had a lethal heart rhythm?
Were we worried? No, there’s no way Al Queda is staying up at night somewhere near the Pakistan-Afgahn border saying, "Oh I know what we should do! Let’s bomb a mid size hospital in suburban Chicago. That’ll show the world we are a force to be reckoned with!" I mean really, who the hell would bomb a hospital? Also, how could they bring up enough bomb material to do any major damage? Maybe the whole thing was a drill.
I must say that a hospital can be an impressive place to work as they have a plan for every contingency. There’s a plan if there’s a tornado, fire, person kidnapping a newborn baby, somebody shitting on the floor, etc. All we did was follow the plan and within a ½ hour all of the floor’s patients were moved.
It ended up they cleared out the 4th floor, and there was no bomb. We learned that the 4th floor received 3 calls stating a bomb was on their floor. One call said it was detonating in 4 minutes. But it was not to be, we left work at 7:15 Easter morning safe and tired from an eventful night.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Let the Good Times Roll
This was Patti's 4th visit to our place, and it was wonderful again. About the only negative I can say about her is that she doesn't like Bob Marley or reggae (not really a major drawback). She brought a pizzamaker and the kids were able to make their own pizzas on Sunday. She took them to Walgreens and bought them stuff.
There's going to come a point in time where some of the people who say I'm going about this relationship all wrong will have to reconsider. When I wonder, 1 year? 6 months?
We are nowhere near that point now, but I simply am happier than I have been in years. I feel some trepidation writing all this because I know that every point, every revelation I state about what happened this weekend is another mistake to many thoughtful, careful people reading this blog. I guess I better not talk about the fact that I've given her a key to my apartment.
Again, I feel safe with her. It's incredibly difficult to argue with emotion. If you feel yourself emotionally drawn/tied to a person, then I couldn't imagine saying to others, "Oh yeah, right, I'll pull back on the relationship, cool things off!" & not everyone feels that way. Many at work are very happy for me and not telling me I'm going about it wrong. I guess that only means to the others that they are as foolish as I. It's like I said before; it reminds me of a line in the song, "It can't be wrong, when it feels so right".
The only place that I feel a little uneasy about is her health. That I do worry about because at 44 she has diabetes and is a little overweight. She also had ruptured 3 discs and had to have a spinal fusion operation in the lower part of her spine. Someone suggested that her biologic clock is ticking and she wants to have kids with me. Not so, she had her "tubes tied" so that's not happening.
Still, she acts rational, by example, she shows what a better person she is compared to my ex-wife. I am so happy with her. When we were at church the usher asked if the kids, her and I wanted to bring up the gifts during Offertory. We accepted and Andy (my oldest son) who is very religious couldn't have been happier.
There's going to come a point in time where some of the people who say I'm going about this relationship all wrong will have to reconsider. When I wonder, 1 year? 6 months?
We are nowhere near that point now, but I simply am happier than I have been in years. I feel some trepidation writing all this because I know that every point, every revelation I state about what happened this weekend is another mistake to many thoughtful, careful people reading this blog. I guess I better not talk about the fact that I've given her a key to my apartment.
Again, I feel safe with her. It's incredibly difficult to argue with emotion. If you feel yourself emotionally drawn/tied to a person, then I couldn't imagine saying to others, "Oh yeah, right, I'll pull back on the relationship, cool things off!" & not everyone feels that way. Many at work are very happy for me and not telling me I'm going about it wrong. I guess that only means to the others that they are as foolish as I. It's like I said before; it reminds me of a line in the song, "It can't be wrong, when it feels so right".
The only place that I feel a little uneasy about is her health. That I do worry about because at 44 she has diabetes and is a little overweight. She also had ruptured 3 discs and had to have a spinal fusion operation in the lower part of her spine. Someone suggested that her biologic clock is ticking and she wants to have kids with me. Not so, she had her "tubes tied" so that's not happening.
Still, she acts rational, by example, she shows what a better person she is compared to my ex-wife. I am so happy with her. When we were at church the usher asked if the kids, her and I wanted to bring up the gifts during Offertory. We accepted and Andy (my oldest son) who is very religious couldn't have been happier.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Predictions of doom....while I'm feeling happy
The relationship that I have with Patti has inspired a number of opinions. There are those who know me well and are very happy for me. They know that I try to be thoughtful and not careless. They have the belief that things will work out all right between Patti and I.
There are those who point out how much I am flouting conventional wisdom. I am with someone I did not know 6 weeks ago. That person has now stayed at my place overnight several times. Currently, she is scheduled to come every weekend except Easter. Other plans are being made with her. I'm moving fast, no doubt. There's the belief by some that I am really foolish. If I flout and ignore conventional wisdom, conventional wisdom will "kick back", and the lack of knowledge I have about this person will hurt me.
I wanted to point out a few things. First of all, I am not allowing my new relationship, one that has already given me so much happiness, to take away from time I see my kids. I see my 3 children as much as before the relationship. That is a fact. Few things are more important to me than being a good father.
Secondly, I don't have plans to marry this person right away; in fact, I don't want a wedding for a long time. That necessarily means a number of things before I marry her. If I find out she's a pathological liar, if she can't stand the fact that I can be a slob sometimes, if we are unable to come together and live within our means, if she thinks I'm boring because I talk about politics too often, if she just can't deal with my combative ex-wife, if there are any other "deal breakers" going on, then we leave each other. We end the relationship. That's not so terribly difficult to do when you're not married.
Right now, we are very attentive to each other and that means we enjoy the strengths we bring to a relationship and also are looking at weaknesses that we may be showing each other. We have been open, candid. We are not mincing words.
I feel that I've learned how to avoid a lot of mistakes when I'm in a relationship. I think what I have learned in my last relationship is helping me a great deal in this one.
People have a right to have an opinion about me going rather "fast" in my current relationship with Patti. However, Patti has made me very happy. No person has EVER been so devoted, so kind and so giving to me as Patti. Since she has many positive attributes (a good listener, a genuinely kind, sharing person, a resourceful person, someone who is neat, THE LIST DEFINITELY GOES ON AND ON), I am most definitely going to reciprocate my love for her. She is definitely worth that. She is well liked by my kids. I know she can be a good, if not great, influence on them. Yes, I do see her as she relates to my kids. Believe it or not, Jean T. my relationship with my kids is more important than my relationship with Patti. Therefore, if she benefits, augments how I help raise them, how could I not value her?
I am going through a new, wonderful, loving relationship with my eyes open. I think it would be incredibly stupid to keep her at "arms length" to mollify my critics in the Comments section of my last post. I will look at warning signs that could endanger or degenerate the relationship, but until then I will continue loving Patti and hope that we have a wonderful future together.
I also think that it's rather illogical to assume that just because I don't post here as much as I used to that means I'm neglecting my kids (see Comments from the last post, last one). I am seeing them as much as I can. I love them and will continue to be the good parent I know in my heart that I am. The fact that I'm not spending as much time here may in fact mean that I am spending time with them or with someone else, but not necesarily her, because maybe I'm working (60 hrs. a week, remember?!?) or maybe I'm with my kids.
There are those who point out how much I am flouting conventional wisdom. I am with someone I did not know 6 weeks ago. That person has now stayed at my place overnight several times. Currently, she is scheduled to come every weekend except Easter. Other plans are being made with her. I'm moving fast, no doubt. There's the belief by some that I am really foolish. If I flout and ignore conventional wisdom, conventional wisdom will "kick back", and the lack of knowledge I have about this person will hurt me.
I wanted to point out a few things. First of all, I am not allowing my new relationship, one that has already given me so much happiness, to take away from time I see my kids. I see my 3 children as much as before the relationship. That is a fact. Few things are more important to me than being a good father.
Secondly, I don't have plans to marry this person right away; in fact, I don't want a wedding for a long time. That necessarily means a number of things before I marry her. If I find out she's a pathological liar, if she can't stand the fact that I can be a slob sometimes, if we are unable to come together and live within our means, if she thinks I'm boring because I talk about politics too often, if she just can't deal with my combative ex-wife, if there are any other "deal breakers" going on, then we leave each other. We end the relationship. That's not so terribly difficult to do when you're not married.
Right now, we are very attentive to each other and that means we enjoy the strengths we bring to a relationship and also are looking at weaknesses that we may be showing each other. We have been open, candid. We are not mincing words.
I feel that I've learned how to avoid a lot of mistakes when I'm in a relationship. I think what I have learned in my last relationship is helping me a great deal in this one.
People have a right to have an opinion about me going rather "fast" in my current relationship with Patti. However, Patti has made me very happy. No person has EVER been so devoted, so kind and so giving to me as Patti. Since she has many positive attributes (a good listener, a genuinely kind, sharing person, a resourceful person, someone who is neat, THE LIST DEFINITELY GOES ON AND ON), I am most definitely going to reciprocate my love for her. She is definitely worth that. She is well liked by my kids. I know she can be a good, if not great, influence on them. Yes, I do see her as she relates to my kids. Believe it or not, Jean T. my relationship with my kids is more important than my relationship with Patti. Therefore, if she benefits, augments how I help raise them, how could I not value her?
I am going through a new, wonderful, loving relationship with my eyes open. I think it would be incredibly stupid to keep her at "arms length" to mollify my critics in the Comments section of my last post. I will look at warning signs that could endanger or degenerate the relationship, but until then I will continue loving Patti and hope that we have a wonderful future together.
I also think that it's rather illogical to assume that just because I don't post here as much as I used to that means I'm neglecting my kids (see Comments from the last post, last one). I am seeing them as much as I can. I love them and will continue to be the good parent I know in my heart that I am. The fact that I'm not spending as much time here may in fact mean that I am spending time with them or with someone else, but not necesarily her, because maybe I'm working (60 hrs. a week, remember?!?) or maybe I'm with my kids.
Monday, March 13, 2006
A DRAMATIC CHANGE!
There's a woman at my dating service, Chrisian Mingle, who is very, very attracted to me. She said, "I melt for you everytime I see your picture," and "you're the nicest guy I've ever met." Can you believe it? No, I can't either (the 1st quote is definitely less believable than the 2nd one. I mean really, look at the picture I put out in the summer and also this past winter!). I like her and I could see having a relationship with her. She calls and tells me she's not going to be able to wait all the way to Sunday. I can't help but think about all the cleaning I'm going to have to do to my apartment. I can wait until Sunday because as busy as I'll be during the week, I'll barely have enough time to take my apartment out of the "disgusting to be in" category. She speaks hopefully about us being friends for a lifetime. I think that if we are, that's fine.
I'm really drawn to her enthusiasm. If you're a person who had a hard time dating and/or spent many nights alone in your bed, when somebody tells you how great looking you are, what a special person you are, & how sweet and thoughtful you are, well, that's a person you want to be around. When you are starved for some "lovin' " and she excitedly talks about spending most of Monday snuggling with me in my apartment, well....you look forward to Monday too!
Falling in love is definitely the happiest time of a person's life. We were made to love.
-- -- ----- --- -
Now, there's a certain benevolent soul out there that has given me good advice when things have gone wrong for me. She has done so on a pretty consistent basis. I am very interested to read what she has to say about this new, more positive development.
I'm really drawn to her enthusiasm. If you're a person who had a hard time dating and/or spent many nights alone in your bed, when somebody tells you how great looking you are, what a special person you are, & how sweet and thoughtful you are, well, that's a person you want to be around. When you are starved for some "lovin' " and she excitedly talks about spending most of Monday snuggling with me in my apartment, well....you look forward to Monday too!
Falling in love is definitely the happiest time of a person's life. We were made to love.
-- -- ----- --- -
Now, there's a certain benevolent soul out there that has given me good advice when things have gone wrong for me. She has done so on a pretty consistent basis. I am very interested to read what she has to say about this new, more positive development.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Problems Across the Ocean
The recent outbreak of fighting between Sunnis and Shiites is disheartening for those who are hoping the best for Iraq. I was watching a program on PBS’ Frontline. One of the US officers pointed out something very crucial to analyzing our intervention in Iraq. He said that the goals of the insurgents are very easy to accomplish. They are trying to create chaos; that’s all they have to do. They don’t have to build anything, try to create a coalition, or create wealth. They can choose which government or community leader to kill, what target to blow up and capitalize on the destruction they create. They choose the time and place of attack. The US and the Iraqis creating a viable government don’t know the time and place of attack. They have to stand ready to defend many places where the insurgents could attack.
The US and the Iraqis who are trying to rebuild their nation have a much more difficult goal to accomplish. They have to bridge the differences between Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites. They have to create enough wealth to overcome all the devastation that has occurred in their nation in the last 14 years (they hadn’t completely rebuilt from the Desert Storm war back in 1991). They have to try to produce oil and counter a force that works very hard to prevent oil from being produced.
Now bombs have blown up Shiite and Sunni mosques alike sowing even more dissension and anger between both religious groups. While there are Iraqis preaching for unity, there ranks of those who don’t think Shittes and Sunni can work together have grown since the outbreak of bombings. This, in turn, has led to more American troops dying trying to restore order.
The problem with all of this is that there are some forces that are beyond the American military’s control. We can’t control how much the Shiites & Sunnis dislike each other; we can’t control how many bombs will blow up mosques. We don’t know where insurgents and people who want to retaliate will strike next. The recent events point out the futility of the US involvement in Iraq.
I am not saying that we should withdraw tomorrow. I am also not saying that the efforts for Iraqis to restore their nation are futile (what other choice do they have?). But the recent events show that Iraq can easily turn into a quagmire despite the best efforts of not only the Americans but also the Iraqis wanting to rebuild their own nation.
The US and the Iraqis who are trying to rebuild their nation have a much more difficult goal to accomplish. They have to bridge the differences between Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites. They have to create enough wealth to overcome all the devastation that has occurred in their nation in the last 14 years (they hadn’t completely rebuilt from the Desert Storm war back in 1991). They have to try to produce oil and counter a force that works very hard to prevent oil from being produced.
Now bombs have blown up Shiite and Sunni mosques alike sowing even more dissension and anger between both religious groups. While there are Iraqis preaching for unity, there ranks of those who don’t think Shittes and Sunni can work together have grown since the outbreak of bombings. This, in turn, has led to more American troops dying trying to restore order.
The problem with all of this is that there are some forces that are beyond the American military’s control. We can’t control how much the Shiites & Sunnis dislike each other; we can’t control how many bombs will blow up mosques. We don’t know where insurgents and people who want to retaliate will strike next. The recent events point out the futility of the US involvement in Iraq.
I am not saying that we should withdraw tomorrow. I am also not saying that the efforts for Iraqis to restore their nation are futile (what other choice do they have?). But the recent events show that Iraq can easily turn into a quagmire despite the best efforts of not only the Americans but also the Iraqis wanting to rebuild their own nation.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
it's ok
It’s funny how when you feel your worst, that’s necessarily when you want to write. After all, you have to vent, right??? But then I get some sleep, I feel better, not struggling as much and am working at the 2nd job which is more enjoyable (oh hey, I’m not slamming the 1st job; it would be wonderful if it wasn’t for the continual harassment by the dreaded Sandman). I am looking forward to my date tomorrow, if it goes (hopefully, I’m trying to “keep both feet on the ground).
So what I’m saying is that I look like a “Hot Mess” (an expression used occasionally at the hospital), but I just have so much to “get through”, to overcome. Which isn’t really that different than others, is it?
So what I’m saying is that I look like a “Hot Mess” (an expression used occasionally at the hospital), but I just have so much to “get through”, to overcome. Which isn’t really that different than others, is it?
Friday, January 20, 2006
Some good news (for a change)
Best news I’ve had since the New Year started. I belong to an international dating group, Christian Mingle. I guess I was a bit down about it last post. Yesterday, I spoke with a nurse from the Philippines who emigrated to the US and lives about 8 miles away from me. We agreed not only to a first date but she enthusiastically accepted my offer to help prepare her resume, cover letter and maybe the job search for a hospital job as a nurse.
I am happy with the prospects of actually dating someone. There’s even the possibility (low, high possibility, who knows????)of it not merely being a platonic as it was with Ava. I also really enjoy helping others, and it will be fun working on her resume. The whole job search process is one I am very familiar with. I was looking exactly 1 yr. ago and through most of 2005.
Through all of this happiness, I am reminded of a somewhat true, somewhat fictional story. There was a 30 yr. old woman, Faye. Years before she got married but the marriage ended with a bitter divorce. But at 28 she found Paul who would be her life partner for 60 years. When she was married for 1 year, she became pregnant with their 1st child. When she took the Walgreens pregnancy test and it was positive she screamed and jumped for joy. Paul couldn’t help but be excited too. They wanted to have 2 kids ultimately. Then everyone in Faye’s life who was a friend with her knew the GREAT NEWS. Faye told everyone who cared to listen. Faye told everyone the plans that Paul & her were going to have with their “new bundle of joy”. Some people were even getting sick of her talking so much about her pregnancy and onset of morning sickness.
1 month later, she miscarried. She was devastated, she felt terrible. She told people, especially her husband who was with her through it all about how she almost died of sepsis on the ER table. Paul wondered if that was really true because it didn’t seem that way to him. But he didn’t dare contest Faye’s view of these sad events.
Faye finally learned her lesson. Miscarriages happen a lot more than people think. There’s a lot of woman whose 1st pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. In reality, I personally know of at least 3 women who had that happen to them on their 1st pregnancy. Some of you readers might know women like that too.
Faye learned not to be so ecstatic 'til after the baby was born. Faye learned not to say anything to friends about pregnancy until the 1st trimester is over (which is when a majority of miscarriages take place. majority, not all miscarriages) Faye had an excellent OB/GYN physician when she got pregnant 2 more times. Paul & Faye realized their dream of having 2 children who grew up to be upstanding adults because of the immense love their 2 parents bestowed upon them.
Now this made up, rudimentary story isn’t supposed to warm the cockles of your heart. It merely is a reminder to “not count your chickens before they’re hatched”. It’s a lesson for me as much as anyone. I haven’t met this 1st date yet. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can’t make plans yet of how things will be “once we get seriously involved.” That just isn’t wise.
I got to be like that song “Peaceful Easy Feeling” by the Eagles. Here’s the line below of what I’m thinking:
“I have a peaceful easy feeling. & I know that you won’t let me down. Cuz’ I’m already standing on the ground.”
I am happy with the prospects of actually dating someone. There’s even the possibility (low, high possibility, who knows????)of it not merely being a platonic as it was with Ava. I also really enjoy helping others, and it will be fun working on her resume. The whole job search process is one I am very familiar with. I was looking exactly 1 yr. ago and through most of 2005.
Through all of this happiness, I am reminded of a somewhat true, somewhat fictional story. There was a 30 yr. old woman, Faye. Years before she got married but the marriage ended with a bitter divorce. But at 28 she found Paul who would be her life partner for 60 years. When she was married for 1 year, she became pregnant with their 1st child. When she took the Walgreens pregnancy test and it was positive she screamed and jumped for joy. Paul couldn’t help but be excited too. They wanted to have 2 kids ultimately. Then everyone in Faye’s life who was a friend with her knew the GREAT NEWS. Faye told everyone who cared to listen. Faye told everyone the plans that Paul & her were going to have with their “new bundle of joy”. Some people were even getting sick of her talking so much about her pregnancy and onset of morning sickness.
1 month later, she miscarried. She was devastated, she felt terrible. She told people, especially her husband who was with her through it all about how she almost died of sepsis on the ER table. Paul wondered if that was really true because it didn’t seem that way to him. But he didn’t dare contest Faye’s view of these sad events.
Faye finally learned her lesson. Miscarriages happen a lot more than people think. There’s a lot of woman whose 1st pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. In reality, I personally know of at least 3 women who had that happen to them on their 1st pregnancy. Some of you readers might know women like that too.
Faye learned not to be so ecstatic 'til after the baby was born. Faye learned not to say anything to friends about pregnancy until the 1st trimester is over (which is when a majority of miscarriages take place. majority, not all miscarriages) Faye had an excellent OB/GYN physician when she got pregnant 2 more times. Paul & Faye realized their dream of having 2 children who grew up to be upstanding adults because of the immense love their 2 parents bestowed upon them.
Now this made up, rudimentary story isn’t supposed to warm the cockles of your heart. It merely is a reminder to “not count your chickens before they’re hatched”. It’s a lesson for me as much as anyone. I haven’t met this 1st date yet. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can’t make plans yet of how things will be “once we get seriously involved.” That just isn’t wise.
I got to be like that song “Peaceful Easy Feeling” by the Eagles. Here’s the line below of what I’m thinking:
“I have a peaceful easy feeling. & I know that you won’t let me down. Cuz’ I’m already standing on the ground.”
Saturday, January 14, 2006
rage & lacerations
lacerations and rage have an interesting thing in common; they are both 2 dimensional. But neither one of them are 2 dimensional in the way one would think.
When you hold a typical paper in your hand, it's 8" x 11". 8" wide, 11" long. BUt neither lacerations and rage are measured that way. They are measured by length but NOT width, but rather depth. Back in '78 when my brother accidentally threw a board with a nail in it, the nail sliced my leg. It was 4 inches long and about 1 inch deep. I rec'd 4 stitches that disintegrated for the inner part of the cut, then they put 5 stitches on the skin that were later pulled out on the skin level.
What about rage? Well the length of your anger is the number of topics that truly piss you off. THe depth of your rage is the intensity of how fucking angry you are.
My rage feels like a 30 stitch gash next to my left lung.
I'm about ready to go to work. Since drinking isn't appropriate, I thought emptying my bottle of Southern Comfort was a bad idea. So I decided to do something worse. IN honor of the 4 week bout of bronchitis that has developed in pleurisy (scar tissue found in my lower lung) I decided to smoke a bowful of tobacco. Since I have no one to blame for my 4 week battle, I might as well blame myself. So let's light up. The scar tissue makes the lung hurt anyway, so why don't I use pain to stay good and alert during the night shift. I think that makes perfect sense.
What about topics that I'm truly upset about? I can't mention what happened on Monday but my rage from that incident, on a scale from 1-100, is about 88.
Why does my dating website suck so bad? I have gotten 2 women that really want to date me. Guess where they're from????????? South Africa and Little Rock, AR. I asked the woman from S. Africa if the long distance seemed like a problem. In so many words, she said not really. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Why?
I really love life. I'm bleeding but there are no stitches. I'm angry but it's not going to soothe anytime soon.
When you hold a typical paper in your hand, it's 8" x 11". 8" wide, 11" long. BUt neither lacerations and rage are measured that way. They are measured by length but NOT width, but rather depth. Back in '78 when my brother accidentally threw a board with a nail in it, the nail sliced my leg. It was 4 inches long and about 1 inch deep. I rec'd 4 stitches that disintegrated for the inner part of the cut, then they put 5 stitches on the skin that were later pulled out on the skin level.
What about rage? Well the length of your anger is the number of topics that truly piss you off. THe depth of your rage is the intensity of how fucking angry you are.
My rage feels like a 30 stitch gash next to my left lung.
I'm about ready to go to work. Since drinking isn't appropriate, I thought emptying my bottle of Southern Comfort was a bad idea. So I decided to do something worse. IN honor of the 4 week bout of bronchitis that has developed in pleurisy (scar tissue found in my lower lung) I decided to smoke a bowful of tobacco. Since I have no one to blame for my 4 week battle, I might as well blame myself. So let's light up. The scar tissue makes the lung hurt anyway, so why don't I use pain to stay good and alert during the night shift. I think that makes perfect sense.
What about topics that I'm truly upset about? I can't mention what happened on Monday but my rage from that incident, on a scale from 1-100, is about 88.
Why does my dating website suck so bad? I have gotten 2 women that really want to date me. Guess where they're from????????? South Africa and Little Rock, AR. I asked the woman from S. Africa if the long distance seemed like a problem. In so many words, she said not really. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Why?
I really love life. I'm bleeding but there are no stitches. I'm angry but it's not going to soothe anytime soon.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Good news/Bad news
I'm happy that I have lost weight. I gained 20 pounds last winter & it took me about 9 months to lose it. Then for a month or 2 I've been in somewhat of a stalemate of trying to lose but not being able to do so. This winter, after reviewing what happened last winter, I set my mind to losing weight. I got disciplined, didn't overindulge in holiday candy, but only lost a paltry 6 pounds. I haven't been working out, so I know I wasn't going to lose 20 pounds in a month (I don't even think one is supposed to do that unless they're morbidly obese).
Then I lost some more weight but not the way I planned. In mid - Dec. up to the current time, I've been afflicted with bronchitis. I've been coughing so much that when they did a chest x-ray they found a spot on my lower left lung which they said was scar tissue from coughing so much. It also hurts in that part of the lung.
Bummer. Well at least I lost another 4 lbs. That's more good news. I hope to lose another 25 so that I get to the ideal weight on my 6'2" frame. My goal is about 205. I just hope this respiratory infection, doesn't keep lingering because I'm hoping I don't need that to lose weight.
Then I lost some more weight but not the way I planned. In mid - Dec. up to the current time, I've been afflicted with bronchitis. I've been coughing so much that when they did a chest x-ray they found a spot on my lower left lung which they said was scar tissue from coughing so much. It also hurts in that part of the lung.
Bummer. Well at least I lost another 4 lbs. That's more good news. I hope to lose another 25 so that I get to the ideal weight on my 6'2" frame. My goal is about 205. I just hope this respiratory infection, doesn't keep lingering because I'm hoping I don't need that to lose weight.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Friday, January 06, 2006
Saved
I bought the DVD and then saw SAVED with Mandy Moore.
SEE
The movie was too simplistic; I still enjoyed it, though. I bought the movie in the 1st place because I consider myself pretty religious but have a strong antipathy towards the "Holier than Thou" types like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. Plus, those 2 are big time Republicans and that makes them less likable as well (now remember, most of my family is Republican but I get along fine with them). I also have dealt with Holier than Thou types on a personal level. Someone who I am close to on a personal level is older than me, and I wish I was closer to her, but when ever she relates to me it seems to be on a preachy, didactic way. She's a good person but we'd be a lot more close if she would listen more and preach less. My 1st college roommate was a Fundamentalist; that had its good and bad moments as well. About the movie, here's my likes and dislikes: Like: - good, plausible plot which is saying a lot these days. Not a great plot but that's discussed in the 1st "Dislike" -likable characters -the whole premise of young people out there that think they know it all but really don't and are basically the tools of a group bigger than them is something that really happens in the US and other places -good lesson on what happens if you use your friends as Mandy Moore's character does Dislike -Mandy Moore's character is too 2-dimensional, too black & white -would have been more interesting to see the plot develop her parents' characters more. How was she shaped/socialized? Not sure how valid this concern is as it's only 90some minutes long; not a documentary -doesn't really answer the following question (maybe not enough time to do so, again it wasn't a documentary): if you follow God and you care about others, what should you do when you see friends "taking the wrong path" in life? To Mandy Moore's character, the solution is obvious, but the answer really isn't. At work, I became friends with someone who wasn't a Fundamentalist, wasn't an Evangelical, basically came up with her "own religion". She was extremely knowledgeable about the Bible and that, I think, is pretty admirable. Yet, people at work held her in suspicion because she criticized the way others acted. She explained it to me like this, "If you see someone walk in quicksand, do you reason with them or do you try to stop them right then and there?" Good question. But maybe the wrong analogy. The point is that falling away from God's path isn't as quick as quicksand. So the actions to take may be better if there less intrusive. Mandy Moore's character generates too much heat and not enough light. She'd be better off asking questions than trying to give all the answers. I think one of the best ways to persuade people is by asking them the "right questions". So in the end, Saved is a movie I'd recommend for others interested in the same topic.
SEE
The movie was too simplistic; I still enjoyed it, though. I bought the movie in the 1st place because I consider myself pretty religious but have a strong antipathy towards the "Holier than Thou" types like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. Plus, those 2 are big time Republicans and that makes them less likable as well (now remember, most of my family is Republican but I get along fine with them). I also have dealt with Holier than Thou types on a personal level. Someone who I am close to on a personal level is older than me, and I wish I was closer to her, but when ever she relates to me it seems to be on a preachy, didactic way. She's a good person but we'd be a lot more close if she would listen more and preach less. My 1st college roommate was a Fundamentalist; that had its good and bad moments as well. About the movie, here's my likes and dislikes: Like: - good, plausible plot which is saying a lot these days. Not a great plot but that's discussed in the 1st "Dislike" -likable characters -the whole premise of young people out there that think they know it all but really don't and are basically the tools of a group bigger than them is something that really happens in the US and other places -good lesson on what happens if you use your friends as Mandy Moore's character does Dislike -Mandy Moore's character is too 2-dimensional, too black & white -would have been more interesting to see the plot develop her parents' characters more. How was she shaped/socialized? Not sure how valid this concern is as it's only 90some minutes long; not a documentary -doesn't really answer the following question (maybe not enough time to do so, again it wasn't a documentary): if you follow God and you care about others, what should you do when you see friends "taking the wrong path" in life? To Mandy Moore's character, the solution is obvious, but the answer really isn't. At work, I became friends with someone who wasn't a Fundamentalist, wasn't an Evangelical, basically came up with her "own religion". She was extremely knowledgeable about the Bible and that, I think, is pretty admirable. Yet, people at work held her in suspicion because she criticized the way others acted. She explained it to me like this, "If you see someone walk in quicksand, do you reason with them or do you try to stop them right then and there?" Good question. But maybe the wrong analogy. The point is that falling away from God's path isn't as quick as quicksand. So the actions to take may be better if there less intrusive. Mandy Moore's character generates too much heat and not enough light. She'd be better off asking questions than trying to give all the answers. I think one of the best ways to persuade people is by asking them the "right questions". So in the end, Saved is a movie I'd recommend for others interested in the same topic.
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