Wednesday, November 08, 2017

the lesson

I heard a good sermon about a month ago. The priest talked about self talk and what we think about ourselves and what we can accomplish


In one Native American tribe, there was a belief that there was an animal, a bear inside all of us. As an Elder said to someone young, "The bear can go either way. The bear can give you confidence, make you happy, inspires you to be kind to others and inspires you to do amazing things!
Or the bear can fill you full of doubt, It can make you hate yourself, make you depressed, be mean to others, and there's very little you can accomplish!"
The Youth asked, "What makes the bear be either a positive or negative force?"
Elder replied, "It depends on what you feed the bear. Will you feed him confidence or fear?"

When I say confidence, I mean REALISTIC confidence.  Building up your hopes only to see them dashed is a sure route to depressiopn.
But, it's easy for me to get down on myself.  It's easy for me to be full of fear and downright PETRIFIED of the future!!

The older I get, the more I realize how disciplined our mind must be in order to fight all the large, disturbing challenges each and everyone of us face. 

& self discipline isn't easy when it comes to getting our mind to think one way when it really wants to think another way (usually negative).  Unless things are going well, we all face a lot of inner turmoil, and we will face it in the future.  We have to keep fighting and somehow find a way toward being more successful.  That's hard to do.

Friday, October 27, 2017

GOOD for Target

I remember when Christmas was something we really thought about in December.

In the 70s, you never saw Christmas trees or other promotions for Christmas in October or November.  The customers would have thought the store owner was crazy.  When stores figured that a big proportion of their sales came from Christmas, then Christmas shopping season became longer and longer. 

A casualty of all this was Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving has been very overshadowed due to all of this.  Not good.  We all need to be thankful for something!

So, Target listened to their customers and they didn't like Xmas promoted in October. They wanted some more promotion of Thanksgiving.  Therefore, Target is "dialing back" their Christmas promotion. 

Good for Target!  I am buying something from their store today.  Vote with your money.
 If you don't know what that means, let me know. 


Friday, October 20, 2017

Did you ever get this FEELING??


Thankfully, I'm back to work. I am reluctant to say what I'm doing fulltime for fear of jinxing myself. I also Uber. 
So, I am happy about that because that beats the hell out of being unemployed as I know all too well since Aug., 2015.  Since 7/31/2015, I've been in vocational hell, basically. I think I work hard; I think I am a cooperative employee.  I give my best effort and I want whoever I work for to succeed. But bosses since that date haven't seen things as I have. 

Enough about that as I really feel uncomfortable talking about employment issues. 

What I want to talk about is that feeling many of us have who live from paycheck to paycheck.  A day or maybe a few days before you get paid, do you ever have that feeling that you are sooooo broke?!?

It's terrible.  There are things I really wanted to spend money on (basically "pay for"), and I just couldn't do it because I didn't have the money. As the picture shows above, it feels like I can't breathe. When I can't do things because I have no money I feel like I'm asphyxiating.  

Then when you get your paycheck, you are gasping  for air after feeling like you ingested a pint of water. & sometimes (like today) you can't pay all your bills (not even w/ 2 jobs) so you go back into the water again to nearly drown. 

But you panic and you almost feel like you will "give up the Ghost" (like you REALLY WILL drown), because you really question if you will see the financial "light of day".  I got paid, and I feel rotten. 


PLEASE SHARE YOUR VIEWS ABOUT BEING BROKE, THEY ARE VERY WELCOME!! 

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

I panicked a whole room

Flashback to 2 times
In 2001          I was with the best paralegal I ever knew,  the late Mike Sullivan.  I bought a pair of sunglasses.  I needed a pair badly but they had a small selection.  To my disgust, I bought a pair with a little image of the Bugs Bunny character, Tasmanian Devil. I told him how disgusted I was with the glasses.  For 1 of the very, very few times the late Mike Sullivan was wrong, he said, "there's a value in scaring others, maybe you'll scare people with those glasses."  Well, I think I lost them within a few months.


Spring, 1987       I was in the last semester of college.  I was student teaching going to graduate mid May.  So, I was with a couple of roommates.  They were tough guys who weight lifted a lot. They had a friend named Hotter that could beat us all up at the same time.  The other thing about my roommates is that they were heavily into fooling others including me.  
Thought popped into my head. 
Hotter was there (bigger than LIFE!). The tough roommates were there,,, the sprinter, the weight lifter. Weight lifter says, "what's happening Vince?"
I shrugged my shoulders, then non-chalantly replied, "I'm going to check into a mental institution.  I might be going crazy."
HOLY SHIT! cried the sprinter.
Damn! said the weight lifter.

Then there was Hotter, a guy who I always got along with, but who could break me in half in a few seconds.  "Oh, my God! Get away from me!  You scare the HELL out
of me!"

 

I was surprised....to say the least, "Oh.........Sorry, Hotter. No, guys, I'm just shittin' you.  I'm going to throw out the trash."
When I walked out to the dumpster they all ran to the balcony and stared at me.  Like.......I don't believe Vince!  He's not coming back!  He's not throwing the trash out; he's going to go in his car and we won't see him for awhile. 
The weight lifter even asked, "You're really gonna leave, aren't you, Vince?"
I just gave him a vacant smile. 


I walked back in with a shit-eating grin and looked at Hotter.

It doesn't hurt, DAMNIT!

I had a dilemma this morning.  I was supposed to be at a locksmiith's place in the morning.
The problem was that the bike trail (victim of Berwyn hit-n-run car accident 4/5/2017 so I use bike now  {then the next damn week my son is in a car accident that totally demolishes his Saturn}) was really long....longer than I thought it would be.

So there I was less than a half mile from the locksmith's place.....12 minutes late.  I was looking at going through a forest because he lived on 150th St. and the street fragmented in front of my bike.
I said, "The hell with it!  I'm not going around.  I know if I go through this forest it's only 1/2 mile at the most!"

I was better than right.  The forest was a block long. The forest was thick.  I had to pull my body up three feet with twigs snapping and tree branches with frickin briars on them. I experienced a little pain.  But, I then saw a RR track; I crossed it, no problem.  Then, I had to take 2 steps to cross a creek and go through 12 feet through another forest.  I called the locksmith; he had no problem with me being late.

He met me on his lawn; I gave him my mailbox key.  You know why I went to a locksmith?  I so damn tired of dickin' around wasting time at a hardware store b/c the stores near us don't make them good enough and you can't use the key.  So you have to shlep back to the damn store and get a refund or say, "TRY AGAIN"  Screw that!  I'm going to a locksmith.

So, I was outside waiting for him to make the keys.  I told him I didn't want to come inside his house, because my shoes were soaked from that creek I crossed.  Then I noticed 2 bad things.  I had a tree branch stuck to the back of my t-shirt...the LENGTH of my shirt.  Why was it stuck to my t-shirt?  The damn thing had briars.

Then I knew I felt a dull pain and looked up and noticed I was cut.
SHIT! It didn't even hurt!
Really......supposing we have the pain scale the 1-10 pain scale......1=someone is touching your skin
10 = your crotch is impaled with a 3 ft. lance
Mine was a 1.5

But there was a really rotten implication to my cut.  I make money giving plasma.  Same routine everytime:
1. Answer 40 yes/no ?s
2.  Do the screening where they check your arms, temp, blood pressure and hematocrit ratio.
3. Give blood.

100% certain that they would have inspected my arms, taken 1 look at the above cut and disqualify me.  I cleaned it up; I put triple antibiotic (featuring neosporin) on the cut. My blood was fine.
But the plasma I give them has to be pure.
They don't know how I got the cut.  A briar in the forest isn't going to contaminate my plasma.
But of course, the plasma center will assume the worst.  They'll figure I got into a fight with a guy that tipped a knife in feces first and then cut me.  Dang, they can't let anyone donate with that happening to them.

So, I gotta hope that Saturday, this cut is absolutely, completely 100% gone.  Better read up on the best way to get rid of a cut.  I also will prep for my interview Thursday.  I think I'll probably get the job.

If you know a way to get rid of cuts.............let me know.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Chris Cornell, singer of Soundgarden, dead by suicide

Wow, Chris Cornell was 2 years younger than me. 


He killed himself.  That became very apparent. I don't know what to think, but I sure as hell won't write against him or say he's a very selfish man.  Most of all, I think I'm sorry and sad that suicide turned into the option to follow.  So sad and begging answers to ?s...................

What happened? 
What pressure did he have? 

What was the dynamic of being a "rock star" and coping? 

How was he relating to his wife, his kids??
What happened? 


Do the lyrics of his hit song of a few years ago have anything, reveal anything about Chris that may shed light on his suicide?????????Is it very wrong to supposed a song that a songwriter wrote is the way he really feels? 

I wrote some fiction and if someone were to think I was writing about myself, and that's how I thought, I would be really insulted. Sometimes, writing is a game of filling in the answer, "WHAT IF??"

But here's the song lyrics.  Do you know Chris' music? what do you think?  Are any of the lyrics relating to his suicide.......at all?
What happened???????


"Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart"
this is BY Chris Cornell, formerly of Soundgarden

Every time I stare into the sun
Trying to find a reason to go on
All I ever get is burned and blind,
Until the sky bleeds the pouring rain

When you came along the time was right
Pulled me like an apple red and ripe
Wasn't very long you took a bite
And did me wrong, and it serves me right

And I nearly forgot my broken heart
It's taking me miles away,
From the memory of how we broke apart
Here we go round again, again

Every little key unlocks the door,
Every little secret has a lie
Trying to take a picture of the sun
It won't help you to see the light
Every little word upon your lips
Makes a little cut where blood pours out
Every little drop of blood a kiss that I won't miss
Not for anything

And I nearly forgot my broken heart
It's taking me miles away,
From the memory of how we broke apart
Here we go round again

Every single feeling tells me this is leading to a heart
In broken little pieces and you know I need this
Like a hole in the head

Every single feeling tells me this is leading to a heart
In broken little pieces and you know I need this
Like a hole in the head

And I nearly forgot my broken heart
It's taking me miles away,
From the memory of how we broke apart
Here we go round again

And I nearly forgot my broken heart
It's taking me miles away,
From the memory of how we broke apart
Here we go round again, again

Every little key unlocks the door
Every little secret has a lie
Tryna take a picture of the sun
And it won't help you to see the light

Every little word upon your lips
Makes a little cut where blood pours out
Every little drop of blood a kiss that I won't miss
Not for anything

And I nearly forgot my broken heart
It's taking me miles away,
From the memory of how we broke apart
Here we go round again
Every single feeling tells me this is leading to a heart
In broken little pieces and you know I need this
Like a hole in the head

Every single feeling tells me this is leading to a heart
In broken little pieces and you know I need this
Like a hole in the head

And I nearly forgot my broken heart
It's taking me miles away,
From the memory of how we broke apart
Here we go round again

And I nearly forgot my broken heart
It's taking me miles away,
From the memory of how we broke apart
Here we go round again

Here we go round again

Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Be ready..............and love women

So who is older my fiance or me?
Definitely, it's me today, lol

I joke to my fiance, that....while she's older than me, I look older than her.
I took Ben Franklin's advice on older women, and it's served me very well!!

But I gotta say, I've enjoyed looking at pictures and making friends with women since I was 4.  Mom would laugh and tell a story about me when I was 4.  I was going to kindergarten in Aug of 1968. (Yes, I'm old or maybe even older than I look, HA!!)
So, I had to visit the school.  There was a little 2 yr old that was pretty precocious and talkative.  She wanted me to play with her toys.
So as I walked out of the little school........I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
3 cheers for women

Oh, about the shirt..........you know every now and then there just has to be someone in a crowd that "feels his/her Oats" and has to tell you that the Apocalypse, the LAST DAY is coming very soon.  I would get a laugh from the crowd when I would speak up and say, "There's no Apocalypse until the Cubs win the World Series!!"  That was good for some laughs.
&......Here I am wearing my Cubs 2016 Championship sweatshirt..........be careful what you wish for! 
Seriously, my point is we could die and find out if you go to heaven, hell or purgatory  tomorrow.  Your last minutes toward your death could start when you get into your car or someone else's.  I live on a very busy US HWY 6
Sigh…………death be not too painful.

Friday, March 17, 2017

The button issue....Will Republicans Change Healthcare


haha! total FAIL by Pres. Trump and the "Shame of Janesville" Speaker Ryan to get supposedly "better" healthcare for Americans! 
Hearing Speaker Ryan say "Obamacare is the law of the land," was the best political news since Fox News (gee, they're fair.....................NOT) was the first TV network in 2012 to declare that Obama was re-elected. 




The old Superman comic books used to feature a character named Bizarro, who looked exactly like the Man of Steel, except for his blocky, Frankenstein-like features and the fact that everything about him was reversed. Whereas Superman could burn things with his eyes, the lumbering Bizarro could freeze them; while Superman’s X-ray vision couldn’t handle lead, Bizarro’s could penetrate only lead. You get the idea.
That’s the image that kept popping into my head this week as I watched Republicans hurtle their way toward an ill-conceived overhaul of the health care system. In a sense, what Republican leaders are frantically trying to push through Congress is the Bizarro health care plan — a mirror image of the law it would replace, patched together from spare parts and castoff ideas.

They now seem bent on making exactly the same mistakes Democrats did in 2009, but in exactly the inverse way.
At about this time eight years ago, I was hanging around Capitol Hill and the White House, putting together a preview of the looming health care fight for the New York Times Magazine. (The piece holds up pretty well, I think, but judge for yourself.)
The pivotal Democrat on the Hill then was Max Baucus, the Montana senator — and later President Obama’s ambassador to China — who chaired the Senate Finance Committee. Like Obama, Baucus thought CEOs, health care providers and politicians who had once opposed reform could now be persuaded to support it, as long as the plan promised to get soaring costs and federal spending under control.
And Baucus told me that any new law had to have at least some measure of bipartisan support, even if that required painful compromises. That’s because no piece of massive social legislation had ever been perfect from the start, and in order to preserve and fix it, you needed at least a few members of the minority to be invested in its success.
A transformational law of this size, Baucus said, would be “unsustainable” if one party decided to enact it alone.
The problem for Baucus was that most Democrats, especially in the House, didn’t care at all about corporate competitiveness and public debt. They cared about bringing down the number of poorer Americans who couldn’t afford insurance, and they weren’t open to painful fiscal choices in order to get that done.
So while Obama and his congressional allies sold their plan to industry and the public as an economically necessary reform that would “bend the cost curve,” the law they ultimately passed was really more a wealth transfer program that birthed new regulations and taxes in exchange for expanded coverage for the poor and some middle-class protections — a program very much in the tradition of the Great Society.
The most difficult decisions involving public spending were pushed off years into the future, for some other group of politicians to worry about. And of course, as it turned out, Democrats ended up passing the law along strictly partisan lines, using a budgetary gimmick known as “reconciliation” to help it along.
This wasn’t their call, to be fair; they really weren’t given a whole lot of choice. But what all of this meant, practically speaking, is that Baucus was right — the law was probably politically unsustainable from the start.
What came to be known as “Obamacare” was wildly successful in reducing the number of uninsured Americans by more than 20 million, but the public saw little of the economic benefit it was promised. (Although in truth, health care costs have risen more slowly than they might have otherwise.) Democrats couldn’t make necessary fixes in the sprawling law, because no one on the Republican side had any interest in seeing the law fixed.
Jump ahead now to where congressional Republicans are this week with their American Health Care Act — which is precisely the upside-down version of where Democrats were eight years ago. Whereas Democrats took a bill that was principally about expanding health care and dressed it up as an economic measure, Republicans are taking a plan that’s almost entirely about economics and pretending it has something to do with health care.
They may advertise their bill as a market-based solution to health care inequities, but in fact, what Republicans really care about right now is shedding the new revenue and spending in Obama’s health care law — specifically by repealing taxes and eliminating subsidies for the poor and the Medicaid expansion in the states.
President Trump has promised that “you’ll see rates go down, down, down and you’ll see plans go up, up, up,” and, in distinctly Trumpian terms, that the new system will be “a thing of beauty.”
But the Congressional Budget Office, which is led by a Republican appointee and has a slightly better record than Trump when it comes to veracity, estimates that the plan will cost 24 million Americans their health insurance while saving the government more than $300 billion over the next 10 years.
This time there’s not even a question of bipartisanship. Republicans have been plotting a three-stage legislative process, including a reconciliation measure of their own, to pass their plan without a single Democratic vote — although it’s becoming increasingly unlikely that they will settle anytime soon on a plan that wins over both House conservatives and Senate moderates.
The problem — especially if you’re one of those moderates who actually care about governing and have to get elected statewide — is that the Bizarro health care bill wouldn’t be any more lasting than its predecessor.
Before long, the public would figure out that the law isn’t going to do anything to make coverage more affordable or the choices more vast, as promised, but rather the opposite. Eventually, the popular protections that Republicans say they’ll keep are likely to become unworkable without mandates and subsidies.
Mostly the bill would spare some small businesses and wealthier Americans from paying additional taxes and cut back the Medicaid rolls. The issue of what to do about the uninsured would roar back into the public debate.
And good luck trying to amend the bill in ways that would mitigate its harshest effects, because Democrats may well gain seats in the ensuing elections, and they’re not going to feel the slightest motivation to help clean up the mess.
In some ways, Republicans are in a more precarious position with the Bizarro bill than Democrats were in 2009. Obama, at least, managed to cobble together support from insurers and providers, which muted some of the criticism when premiums started to rise. Trump and Paul Ryan, the House speaker, haven’t even tried to assemble a coalition.
You have to remember, too, that Republicans are playing with something here that neither party has ever attempted on such a scale before: a rollback of benefits the public already has. It’s one thing to ram through a program with lots of subsidies and new rights attached. It’s an untested proposition to unilaterally take that stuff away.
Here’s what we do know: With a policy area as complicated as this one, and as reliant on theories about how the markets and consumers will respond to various incentives, you’re never going to pass one law and be done with it. Responsible governing in Washington — if we can still conceive of such a thing — means being able and willing to reassess and adjust to reality as time goes on.
Democrats were never going to be able to do that because of the dubious ways in which they sold and enacted their law. And Republicans won’t have that option, either, even if they manage to come up with something that satisfies their dueling factions.
Superman and Bizarro never actually resolve anything. They just retreat to their parallel universes and live to fight again.

by MATT BAI

Saturday, March 04, 2017

Do you need a bargain on pet supplies or Gun Safety accessories

A website whose owner was trained at the art of selling on eBay.  Offers a wide variety of products.  The focus is in gun safety accessories and pet supplies.
However, if you need a bargain on a women's winter coat.....see my store ! !

I sell on both eBay and Bonanza.  
Coming soon:  I am selling at Etsy & eCrater
I will provide more information on ChicagoWing.