The Christmas trip!

I spent 4 days in Ithaca, Wisconsin. Ithaca is extremely important (just look at this blog’s URL!) as it’s where I grew up, went to high school, learned a work ethic on our farm; it’s where my parents live now. Before the trip, there was some concern about there being too much stress on my elderly parents (they’re both in their 80s). However, I knew that we would help a lot and that by the end things would be ok which turned out to be correct.

It was an exciting XMAS, we left Illinois @ 4 and got to Ithaca, WI @ 8. The trip there went great and we were so looking forward to 4 days of holiday fun. But we were also determined to be responsible and help Mom A LOT, and to make the noise level of 3 kids be low and tolerable for my dear parents.
So then we woke up XMAS and the kids opened up the rest of their presents. They were all very happy. We went to church @ 10 and I was so proud of the way, my oldest, Andy, helped my dad in and out of the car. Before that, breakfast went well and we did the dishes for Mom and Dad.

My 2 brothers Jerome and Bill came up, and had a good time. It was amazing to see Bill talk more and hold conversation with all of us. Usually what happens is that Bill quickly goes to sleep right after dinner and Jerome talks to everyone else. The exact opposite happened this time. Jerome slept and Bill talked. After my brothers left, Mom told me that Bill, who suffers from alcoholism, has been going to 1-on-1 counseling and he’s made noticeable improvement which really seemed the case when we saw him.
Then we went tobagonning on the hill. Basically a tobaggon is just like a sled that you can zoom down a hill with, but instead of a sled having 2 runners, a tobaggon is a flat wooden surface that can hold 3 or 4 kids (including me with mine!) and zooms through the snow. We went tobagonning both morning and afternoon.

Later during the holiday, we sadly watched the bowl game that the WI Badger football team was in and they got destroyed by Florida St. We had fun though watching Doctor Who w/ my mom who didn’t know if she liked the show or not.
On Sunday, when we were leaving, I asked mom if things went well during our 4 days and she said they did. So I felt good that the kids and I worked hard together and there was less work for my Mom. It meant so much to them that the kids and I said the rosary with them. I knew how to say the rosary and have done so for over 30 years, but learned that they added 2 new prayers to the rosary. I had been taught by Mom the Rosary 30some years ago, but apparently they added those 2 prayers. I knew all about the 4th mystery that Pope John Paul II added to the rosary.
I guess if there was anything troubling, it was reading my dad’s written medical report about his possible Alzheimer’s. I am happy and glad that the trip went well. It makes you thankful for the family that you have. Because you can’t choose family!!!

MB & I even felt the holiday cheer as I left her a letter at our condo where she was and she wrote me a nice one back. She was unable to go to Ithaca with us, because her father just came home from the hospital. She decided to take care of him during the holidays.

let's hear it for my nice boss!!

Terry is one of the bosses I work for. He's the lawyer & I'm the paralegal. The law firm didn't give us a XMAS bonus. So, anyway, Terry gave me this morning $40 in cash. I love getting cash/money for XMAS. That, by far is my favorite gift b/c I can use it to get anything or even stop my account from getting overdrawn!!! So thank you Terry. I love working for you; having a great boss is a REAL blessing!!!!

a few pictures

I wanted to show you some pictures. I didn't grow a beard this year, b/c MB complained about it having too much grey in it. So instead I have a mustache. The pictures of my beard are from several years ago. Believe it or not, the beard gets noticeably MORE greyer with each year.

As a special treat, you can get my senior picture of me on the football team (not soccer, U.S. football, lol). Sorry for the blurriness, I may use my Kodak software and make some minor improvements on it so that you get some semblance of what I looked like @ the age of 17.

So much better looking, yet so callow!

a little story

Certain events have happened recently. Because of the "bad economic times" I (& no one else at our firm) received a raise or Christmas bonus. Also, certain views in my house were expressed that I find disappointing to say the least.
I feel that I can't come right out and say what has upset me. If I do say it, I'm afraid the reaction won't be what I want. I think it's better if I apply my disappointment in a story. The story has some symbols in it and I think you'll understand the theme behind it and maybe even some of the symbols.
Also, the Blog website gave me a lot of problems tonight for whatever reason. I wasn't allowed to make paragraph breaks, so I was forced to make bullet points for the paragraphs.

• Jim was a construction worker who had a very tough job. He had a very physical job with heavy lifting. He worked in all kinds of weather. If it was 20 below 0 (fahrenheit), he was required to work. If the job was dangerous, he was required to do it. On one of these trying days, he was feeling terrible. As he rode home in a co-worker's car, he discussed his disappointment. Yet, he explained to his friend, "At least I have a nice bed to sleep in and give me comfort. On a bad day, the best friend I have is my bed. No one can give me orders. No one can hurt me or make me feel bad."
• When he got home, his mood improved. He quickly ate supper, did some reading and went to bed. When he laid in his cherished bed and put his head on the pillow, he received a very upsetting shock. His pillow that he trusted and relied on for years suddenly became hard. He couldn't believe that at a time like this, when he needed the comfort of home, he was greeted with hardness. The hardness was a shock because he expected comfort. He changed and readjusted the pillow, but the pillow could not, would not change. He used substitutes for the pillow but as he was poor he couldn't go out and buy a pillow. The substitutes he used that night were inferior, yet he finally got to sleep. (He used bunched up clothing that he put into a plastic bag.
• The next day at work was tougher than the one before. He relayed his plight of the night before to his co-worker as they drove home.
• Jim bitterly recounted, "You know home is supposed to be your castle, your refuge, the place where you find support. Yet that comfort wasn't there last night. I was confronted with hardness and little comfort. I can't survive in such a cruel world."
• Eric, his co-worker, asked, "You've complained at length about your pillow, but how were your sheets."
• Jim quizzically looked at Eric and replied, "The sheets were great, they were warm and comforting. If you're going to ask about the bed cushion that was nice and comfortable. The box spring did its job well, too!"
• Eric smiled and responded, "You have to appreciate all that went well. We can't dwell on what is wrong because there is so much in the world that IS WRONG. I guess believing in God is a pretty good idea because God doesn't change, get worse and be unreliable. Friends come and go, as do jobs. Your own kids, your own "flesh and blood" could die young. Spouses can be hard, embittered and rude; they can serve you divorce papers. Your TV can be stolen. & that pillow that you relied so much on turned hard. You still have your sheets, you still have books and magazines to enjoy."
• Jim said, "You are right. But still, I wish my pillow was soft. Everybody has a pillow they can sleep on..."
• "But that's wrong! Everyone doesn't have a pillow to sleep on. Everybody doesn't have kids to come home to, spouses that give them comfort or even food on the table. Hell, we could be living in Africa, we didn't choose where we would be born or whether our family was starving or had full stomachs," Eric asserted.
• Jim realized that he would go home and enjoy his magazine a little more. The stroganoff meal he made for himself would taste better. He would value all this so much more, because he realized he would either have to put up with a hard pillow or make due with a substitute.

more concerns w/ son

I spoke with my son’s psychologist as my oldest son, Andy, has Asperger’s Syndrome. The problem has been a precipitous drop in grades from 6th grade to 7th grade. The homework situation which was a problem last year is worse this year. You may remember Andy as I wrote about him falling off the balcony this past September.

The psychologist said that going to 6th to 7th grade is very difficult even for normal kids b/c they give far more schoolwork and academic responsibility to kids at that age. Andy simply can’t keep up to the considerably higher expectations.
I then said to him, “In 5 short years, Andy will be 18 out of high school and will need to get a job. How is he going to handle an 8 hr job if he’s having such a hard time now?”
“He WON’T be able to handle an 8 hour job. I’m not in the prediction business, and I never say ‘never’, but I doubt he would make it in an environment like McDonalds when he’s 18. He will have to have a job where he works 4-6 hours. He may have to telecommute and work at home.”
That was very sobering to hear that my son’s job/vocational prospects are already limited. Not by a lot, but definitely some. But now we at least have some idea of what we are up against. We are going to have to dial down our expectations somewhat. We are going to have to do an effective job of mixing rewards and punishments so that he is a motivated student. This has become more difficult than I imagined.

When I wrote about this in my support group, there was a pretty strong reaction, it sounded like the Dr. was giving up on him. I don't feel he was at all. He did NOT say that he couldn't work at all. He said that in certain conditions, he would succeed at work, and in other conditions he would not succeed. Now when you read that, doesn't that situation sound similar to the situation you or I am in? It sure does to me. I do not work well with hyper bosses. If they are going to fly off the handle every other minute, I want my paycheck from somewhere else!!

The fact is that we can't be in the prediction business about what will happen when he graduates from high school. We simply have to take it one week at a time and make sure that he's doing his homework and studying enough for his exams. There has to be more verifying. I used to be in the habit of simply asking him, "Andy, are you done with your homework?" and he would say "yes". That was it then, and then I would later learn that he didn't do all the homework.

Now, we verify things and use a computer program, RenWeb, which lists their grades and their homework. Every now and again things fall through the cracks because neither he nor Ren Web have the schoolwork listed or I might even forget that something is listed on RenWEb, and he will miss his homework that way.

I would like to think there will come a time that Andy will be more responsible with homework and learn to study better. Until that day comes, MB & I are spending a lot of time with Andy!

The question is how much does Aspergers affect his grades and doing well? It seemed that Aspergers doesn't affect cognitive function as he does show that he's intelligent, but things like organization which is something he really needs aren't exhibited. There is going to be a meeting with the Special Ed. teacher (that has specialized training on handling kids with mental or physical disabilities), social worker, principal and me in January, and we will discuss again the strategies for making this a successful school year for Andy.

A good exit

A couple weeks ago, I ended being president of the TMA. The TMA is the governing body of the condo complex where I live. There are 28 buildings in our condo complex with 6 units in each building. Our budget for the year is over $200,000. I think I handled it very well. I gave a speech at the Annual Meeting that discussed the situation/"shape" of our condo. I was very complimentary about the people who were on the Board with me. People were very appreciative and gracious about the work I did as a board member for 6 years and president for 3 years.

The nice thing is that I retired gracefully. I didn't get forced out, I didn't get voted out. I didn't leave "under a cloud". There were a few mistakes done, & I lost a friend while I was the president (which wasn't really my fault). But being president was a good experience and it definitely quenched my ambition to hold elective office at least for awhile.

silly superstitions

Everyone has heard of superstitions. It is probably a good thing that they aren't so widespread and popular as they used to be. I would like to think of myself as a rational person, but I wanted to share one silly superstition that I have.

Actually there are 2. I try to avoid the number 13. When I set deadlines for myself at work, I rarely if ever set them for the 13th of the month.

The other superstition is much sillier. I have a tendency during the winter to lose gloves. It's just my way, because I am absent-minded. I'm absent minded but have gotten much better about taking care of my wallet. I haven't lost my wallet since September, 2000. (Now, if only I could find my keys that I've been missing since last Sunday.......) Anyway, the last couple winters I have followed a superstition that has led me to lose my gloves fewer times. It's so crazy that hopefully you'll get a good laugh over it.

Since the tendency is to lose gloves, I used an illogical way to stop losing gloves. What I do is wear a pair of unmatched gloves. For example, I'll wear one black glove and one blue glove, or one red glove and one brown glove. Since wearing different gloves is so strange, I "reason" that it's like reversing Karma. So the reasoning goes that if I wear unmatched gloves, that will reverse the tendency to lose gloves. Sometimes I've lost the gloves anyway, but I don't lose them nearly as much, so I continue to do that.

Let me know if you have any superstitions...........