There's been a few too many years where I suffered at the hands of bullies. Obviously, when I was young,
ectomorphic and nieve. After I left Ithaca
for the 1st time and went to school in Madison, I got picked on MUCH less. I even won some fights (where was the prizewinning$$ ??)
There was a very large group of bullies that my MOM told me about. They are the STARLINGS. Starlings deliberately and fiendishly smash bluebird eggs. She told me all about them.
I felt her outrage as she told me about how starlings made it an odious habit to peck out bluebird eggs.
The very common, all too over-populated Starling! Baleful, greasy and foreboding!!
Then from late middle school to early high school, I spent an hour per week shooting starlings.
Oh, the cats loved me! When Vince picked up the gun it was mealtime. One of the funnier, more satisfying moments on the farm was picking up the .22 caliber rifle (with its faulty safety that slid) and having the cats follow me around the house and barn shooting those bullying starlings. I enjoyed picking each and every starling off the trees with those dangerous-w/in-a-mile 22 bullets!! I enjoyed watching the pleasure those cats had when they chewed up and ate the bullies.
One day I shot where I shouldn't and Dad yelled and said, "Just for that, Vince, you can't use the gun for a month!"
Not a word of protest came from my mouth. I shot in the wrong place (next to the large pipe taking haylege up the harvester via blower). I thought to myself, "Well my uncle and namesake was killed with a gun and I could probably study more. I actually was an honor student my sophomore year and that was the year I gave up the gun on a regular basis. I probably have picked up a gun less than 20 times from 1979 to the
present.
Over a decade ago, Maribeth (my ex-wife) had a sidekick called
Sal the Handyman. Sal was born in Puerto Rico and moved to Milwaukee, WI when he was a very young teen. He joined one of the gangs, went to prison, sold drugs when he got married and moved South to the Chicago area and went to prison some more. Sadly, Sal's wife spent more time romancing women than men. Then, Sal's former girlfriend lived at the same condo as Maribeth & I. One time, Maribeth fought her poolside. I think Maribeth's fury was a bit too much; the girlfriend ended it by walking away but giving Maribeth the finger all the while.
But to Maribeth & Sal's credit, they put hardwood flooring in the kitchen and living room as well as tile in the bathroom. They also installed our old air conditioner which still goes strong after all these years. Here's where the
Sal Subplot weds with the starling. Starlings are all over our condo complex. When Maribeth & Sal installed the air conditioner, they got an air conditioner that was smaller than the holes the condo provided for our 166 condo units (including our condo unit).
So while the air conditioning is very effective in cooling our living room, there are 3 crevices where those damn starlings can get into. I have used pungent poison in the main area where sparrows and starlings have gathered.
To the beautiful morning doves, they became too smart to roost in the defense I put up-chicken wire and aromatic poison. But, of course, both the sparrows and starlings are persistent bastards, and I have been forced to use another scheme. The old discarded clothes are only effective against the smaller, pesky birds while the aromatic poison is
wet......
not when it dries up!
I found a cheap cattle prod, most of them for around $100, have stored speaker wire, arranged for part of the wire to be BARE and now the starling bullies are in for a very painful shock of their lives.
HA!
Dear Reader, I will fill you in on how my thorough scheme works out.
