somethings to think about

Did anyone catch the irony on the Google ad that accompanies my blog? I write about theft and they advertise for insurance. I think that's kind of funny.

Apparently, there's a very ancient Chinese curse that says, "May you live in interesting times." Now, on the face of it, living during interesting times would seem good (who would want to live in "boring times"??).

But it really is a curse, because difficult circumstances (like a car theft and the bizaar events accompanying it) are very interesting, but still unfortunate.

You could probably think of a lot of instances where something very interesting happened to you, but it wasn't necessarily "a good thing".

very, very strange (but that's ok)

I have my car.

Yeah, it surprises the hell out of me too. Circumstances are very strange. So, let's do this chronologically.

• Saturday - car is stolen. The thief strips the ignition guard off the car.
• Saturday night - the thief drives the car to 13165 S. Western Ave. The thief leaves a new packet (& it's still in the plastic wrap) Mentos on the floor of the car. He also has 2 other 1/2 eaten packs of candy. The thief really loves candy.

He gets out of the car and leaves the flashing lights on. He parks the car at an apartment for the elderly. (they even have a "Caution, elderly crossing at the intersection") An elderly lady, sees the flashing lights and calls the police. No one turns off the flashing lights and so the battery is run down.

• Later Saturday night - The police come out and then call me that they found the car at 113 St. & Western AVe. Later they call a tow truck.

• Sunday - the tow truck driver goes to where my car is. But he drives to the FRONT of the apartment bldg., he doesn't go to the back of the apt. building; therefore, he doesn't see the car. So he reports back that the car has been re-stolen.
• Saturday through Thursday - my car remains parked at the back of the elderly apartment building undisturbed.

• Thursday - The same elderly lady who called the police the first time, calls the police again and asks, "What are you going to do with that vehicle that has been here since Saturday?!?" The police have an officer come out, and he calls me at work to tell me that they found the car. This time they give me a specific address and they make clear that the car is in the BACK of the apt., not the FRONT! I am warned that I must inform the police in Oak Forest that my car is no longer stolen. If I don't let them know, the car will still be considered stolen. I was told that if the police stop me, I will be taken out of my car at gunpoint!
• Thursday afternoon - after getting the news from the police, I immediately go and get the car. I don't want anybody to get the car, tell me something false about the car as they did before, or mess up the car in any way. I spend nearly $40 on a taxi ride from the Loop part of Chicago to the very southern part of Chicago. (The next post will be about the very green taxi driver who drove me there). Lo and behold, I am reunited with my car!!! Before, I see it I refuse to assume I'll find it, because I don't want to get my hopes up.

To my disappointment, all 4 doors of the car are unlocked. The cop puts a report in the front of my car. The car doesn't start. I'm afraid the car will need to be towed and I'll have to spend more money.

I have a nice talk with the very helpful elderly lady. She tells me the whole story. I call AAA and get my car restarted. It feels so good and so odd to be driving my car. "Odd" because I never thought I'd see the car again!!!!!!!!!

• I go to the Oak Forest police station and show them that the car is no longer stolen. The policeman inspecting the car is someone I know who lives in my condo complex.
• My kids share my joy when they see my car. We eat the thief's Mentos. Remember, he never opened the pack up or even took it out of the plastic.

Many questions come from this:

• why didn't the thieves strip the car for parts and make a bunch of money off of it? I ask this because that's what car thieves usually do. I was told by the Oak Forest policeman that he was merely trying to get to Chicago and he figured stealing my car was the best way to do that. (Isn't there easier ways to get to Chicago than stealing a car??!?)
• Why didn't the police try and solve this theft and call me earlier than Thursday to tell me where the car was??

I am perplexed at these very strange circumstances, but very happy and very thankful. I dodged the very unhappy prospect of spending more than $7,000 on another car.

& it keeps getting worse..............

Most of yesterday, I spent trying to figure out how to get my car out of the car impoundment center run by the Chicago Police Dept. There were scads of documents to get: my car's registration papers, the title, papers I didn't even have. They said I could find out the status of the car if I gave 1 of 2 pieces of information: the license plate number or the last 6 numbers of the VIN # (for those who don't know, every single car that is produced, gets a VIN # imbedded into the car near the windshield and that's away to track the car, in general, and sometimes catch car thiefs, in particular).

When I gave the impoundment center my license plate, they said "No, there's no car here under that license plate number". So finally, I got the VIN #. Then the truth came out,

"oh sir, we were supposed to get that car but it never came. You see the police called for a tow truck to get the car on Saturday. When the tow truck came on Sunday (AFTER OVER 12 DAMN HOURS!!!), the car was not there. We suggest that you file a report with the police because the car is likely re-stolen."

Then, a called several places who gave me "The run around" about doing another report. Finally, I talked to a Chicago police officer that knew what he was doing. He said that since the car was never released from the impoundment the car's status was never changed on the central computer. The car is still considered "Stolen", so what's the point of filing another report?

Everybody who I tell this to never, ever heard of a car being re-stolen. Yeah, I didn't either! It blows everyone away. Even the police in Oak Forest P. D. were shocked when I told them the outcome.

So today, the insurance adjustor took my recorded statement over the phone. I mailed the Proof of Loss papers. The adjustor told me over the phone (she's in Oklahoma) that I would get compensated in about 2 weeks.

& what would happen if I found the car after it was declared permanently missing? I would sell it. That's assuming that it would not be able to be fixed or it would cost way over $1,200 to fix it. Then.....I would live happily ever after..............NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's bad again

I was so happy on Friday, February 22. I was seriously thinking about putting a mark on my calendar to indicate what a great day it was. Well, if I had done that, I would have had to put a mark on the next day, February 23, to indicate what a bad day it was.
I spent all of the day inside and rested because it was the weekend, I was off, I had nowhere to go and I stayed up late reading about 150 pages of the Clapton book I bought.

I didn't go outside until 6 pm. Ted was sick, Maribeth was watching him, so I volunteered to go the grocery store. Yet, I soon discovered as I was walking with Andy, my son, there was a very large problem. My car was not in the place where I parked. I checked the surrounding area (in utter disbelief, but it was not there either. So, I went back in the condo and told Maribeth and called the police. They got the information, and then I went to the grocery store and got the large number of things on her list. It took an hour.

I walked around the grocery store in a state of shock. Part of this whole problem was that I parked my car Friday night at 7 pm. & I didn't discover it had been stolen until the next day, about 22 hours later. So the theif had nearly an entire day's headstart to take the car whereever. It could be in another state by now! More likely, it's someplace getting stripped down and the theif is probably selling the car for parts rather than the total vehicle in 1 piece.

When I called the insurance company and made my claim, the intake woman was very sympathetic, very kind (my insurance is with Farmers Insurance). She observed, "You sound so sad, so defeated." Yes, that's a pretty accurrate portrayal.

What hurts the worst was that I was happy Friday, because I got money for my tax refund. If I pay the deductible for the loss of my car it will be $500. Therefore, over 70% of the refund would be used for replacing my damn CAR!!!!!
If the car is never found, I will get a check and have to go get another car which is also a shame because I had less than a year to pay this car off. This is yet another in a very, very long series of financial setbacks, and I'm not liking it at all, DAMNIT!
UPDATE:
The car was found by the Chicago Police Dept. Ironically, they found it an hour or 2 after I discovered it was stolen. The police dept. left a message with us, but Maribeth did not check her messages until late in the afternoon today. By the time, I discovered my car was robbed, the thieves were already done with it. It was found on the Southside of Chicago. It is undriveable because the car was hotwired and they had to cut into the steering column (I don't know exactly how hotwiring is done, but I'm guessing, basically). They hotwired it to start the car without keys and drive away from where I had it parked.
Now it's a matter of talking to my insurance claim adjustor, being directed as to which place will fix my car, paying the $500 deductible while the insurance pays the rest. Therefore if the total bill is $900, I'll pay $500 and the insurance will pay $400. If the bill is $1,600, I pay $500, the insurance pays $1,100. All sorts of questions come up. Where am I going to come up with $500? How long will it take to fix the car? Will the car ever be the same again? I very rarely needed to get the car repaired for anything will that be the case now after the thieves had fucked it up??
Part of the story is revealed while there is a lot left open. Like who the hell stole my damn car??????!!!???

Reading a very good book

I am a close follower of rock music and the blues and of course a longtime fan of Eric Clapton. I love his virtuosity as a guitar player (even though there's been times that he wanted to steer clear of that).

I like what he stands for insofar as he's been so down, so much so in his addiction to heroin, then alcohol, then cigarettes and he's beaten them all. He overcame the death of his only son, & finally, he has founded the Crossroads Centre to help drug addicts.

I ready his 330-page book in a few nights. The book wasn't great or outstanding (I wish that he had written more about Cream, how he came up with the songs, more about being and working with Jack Bruce), but it was still a very good book!

He is very vivid about the women in his life and the self-defeating addictions that he employed that doomed his relationships, espcially the relationship with Patti Boyd Harrison (the one who inspired many of his songs including "Layla", "Wonderful Tonight" "Your Friends are Tearing Us Apart" (which is from the August album which is pictured above) .

He is also very graphic in how he beat his addictions, and how he used the Lord to help overcome such terrible demons. From the 80s to 2007, I considered RUSH my favorite band. Of all the bands I have ever seen, I have seen Rush, by far the most, probably 5 or 6 times. I loved their intelligent lyrics, awesome guitar sound and have considered them a great group. Yet toward the end of last year, something was telling me that they really shouldn't be my favorite group. One reason was their last 2 CDs weren't that great. But the really big reason was that I liked the lyricist, Neil Peart's views against authoritarianism and opposition to dictatorship, but I became increasingly "turned off" to his atheistic views. There was something inside me saying that my favorite band shouldn't really be with one who is so open about their atheistic beliefs.

It took me awhile, but then it became obvious that Eric Clapton and his music was an obvious choice for being my "favorite". Further, Clapton has clearly shown that he is a big believer in God/Jesus, tho' like all of us he has strayed off the straight and narrow.

I also liked the book because of its happy ending. Currently, Eric is happily married and has 4 daughters (and an adult daughter by a different woman). If you like Eric Clapton, his music, I would definitely recommend reading his autobiography pictured above.

doing so much better

A few days ago, I was bemoaning my bad financial shape. It's still not that great, but I got a nice big lift this morning. I got my tax refund for over $800. Time to pay down some credit cards, steer way clear of overdrafts and maybe, just maybe something good will come out of this !!

Lunesta and the butterfly

Last fall, there seemed to be a lot of stress that I was going through, and I couldn't sleep. Taking over-the-counter medicine didn't really help that much. So, I went to my psychiatrist, and he prescribed me Lunesta. Lunesta is pretty effective, and I was able to sleep better.

There was 1 side effect my doctor didn't tell me until the next appointment.

"Vince, you're not taking that Lunesta everyday, are you? You could get addicted", he casually noted.

"Oh", I replied, "Well, I won't take it everyday now".

Which brings me to the butterfly. The company who makes Lunesta (whatever rich pharmaceutical corporation that is) has a big, BIG advertising budget. So when the Lunesta commercial comes on, you hear this soothing music with a butterfly shown above, symbolizing Lunesta, that swooshes around and spreads beautiful stars that puts everyone to sleep. OOPS, THERE'S ONE CATCH!

Do you see the butterfly on that person's nose as it gently puts them to sleep????? That's in the commercial. They don't show you the part where the butterfly climbs into their mouth, onto their tongue and takes a big dump. This brings me to Lunesta's other side effect.

When you take Lunesta, you get a metallic taste in your mouth. The sleep is great, but when you drink something like coffee, tea, milk (especially milk!!!), you don't taste milk or your desired beverage, you taste metal. It's kind of like licking a metal I-beam (not that I have ever done that!).

The good news is that I'm not addicted to Lunesta. How could I be with that tricky butterfly doing something bad on my tongue? So if you see any butterflies speading stars or looking like the ones in the picture KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!! (hee, hee)

Punched & down

I was paid on Tuesday. It was even a decent sized check with overtime money on there. The money is all spent. I wrote the amount of my check and then started deducting the bills from the deposit. A minute or 2 into all of the bill paying my balance got lower and lower, and I started breathing harder and harder, feeling very tense. THEN THUD! My balance was below zero(0) after the last bill was paid.

It was a thud all right, and I walked around like I was punched in the stomach. It seemed like all of the cost cutting wasn't worth it, nor was the hard work, and working at the law firm extra so I could get overtime pay. I know that I'm wrong writing that because if I hadn't earned overtime (or didn't even work at all) or didn't cut costs, things would be much worse. Yet, I live in a tony suburb where most of the residents are making more than I am and have nice houses. I still live in my small 2 bedroom condo with 3 kids. Then when I go to work 75% of the people do better than I.
However, walking to the train station and seeing all the homeless people begging money so I feel better, but still.................
After balancing the checkbook, all the energy I had left. I walked in one speed-SLOW. I felt like something was taken out of me, and it really hurt. There was no spring in my step as I usually feel pretty enthused when I work. I felt no optimism. The checkbook has been this way since I had to pay almost $1,000 in only a few months for 2 dental bills. & every effort was made to get the dental discount, pay on installments, and still it "blew up" my checking account. Things are slightly better, but there is still over $124 to pay yet. This whole ordeal made Christmas nerve-wracking, and I wasn't sure how we were going to get the money for gas going $200 miles to my parents place in Wisconsin. We had to go because Maribeth and I arrange 1 Christmas at her family, 1 Christmas with my family up in Wisconsin.
Things have been slightly better but the progress is slow and glacial. There's no guarantee that something could happen that would wipe out all the progress. I have checked out books that deal with debt management and they tell me things I already know (spend less). I have cut costs but the budget fight is a constant fight that has no end in sight....................

Difference between editing and censoring

J

One who blogs should not want to write a blog that exploits others or makes others look like idiots. I couldn’t imagine doing that. However, I am not going to be **“Mother Hen’d” into writing a vanilla blog devoid of homelife topics. After all, how much can the 26 ++readers take of US politics?? Especially when they get news, radio, TV and yes, the Web that has tons of politics in this very political year like 2008.
So, when 1 of the 26 readers confronts me with ideas of censorship when I think about her and her reaction while I write the blog, then I feel like I’ve done enough to protect her. I’m not going to be pushed around and censored. It’s not even like she’s my only reader or even my most loyal reader.

While the content of the blog was modified last month, there will be no more restricting subject matters or photos. If I can ride the Metra train to downtown Chicago (going to work in -1oF weather) and hear about a group of women, also riding on the train, loudly speak of autoeroticism in a pet cockatiel, then what’s so bad about what’s been written on this innocent blog so far????????????? It’s reasonable to say NO to anymore limits.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

** I couldn’t help but notice that there was a blog entitled “Mother Hen…” so to the writer of that blog, no offense to yours. When I think of Mother Hen, I define it as "openly domineering another". I understand that there are other definitions and other contexts of the term Mother Hen (as a verb).
++Lo & behold, the readership is growing from the 17 it was at the start of the year!! Oh and by the way, I love Jimmy Page's guitarwork (as noted previously in this blog), so in the midst of this consternation, I wanted to put some happy pictures on there. The other 2 pictures do not need anymore introduction as you dear readers already know them :)

Going to Wisconsin again

We went to see my parents in Wisconsin. It's a 200 mi. trip. We went tobaganning again. The picture is when the kids fell asleep in the car. We thought it made a nice "Kodak moment". The only little problem was that Brianna suffered a few abrasions below her left eye when she fell off the tobaggan and hit the snow with her face.

Otherwise we had a good time. They love visiting their grandparents. & of course, my parents love having them around (except when they make too much noise. Most 80 yr. olds don't enjoy loud noises from kids).

This morning in Wisconsin was -10 F. We got back to Oak Forest, IL at 8 pm; it's farther south (and a little warmer), and it was 0 F. It really sucks when it's so cold.

If anyone remembers The Who, the picture reminds of that picture of the band on the cover of their album The Kids Are Alright. & thank God, they are all right.

One other note, Maribeth's cellphone camera is far superior to mine. I'll have to use it more often because the one I have is a blurry mess.

he's human after all.......

The winning catch in the end zone in the last minute of the Super Bowl was made by none other than Plaxico Buress. You may recall that I called him a $%&(*&^% in one of my January posts. I didn't like Mr. Buress for awhile, and during the game, my son, Ted counted the number of times the Patriots defenders hit Buress hard.

Well, we know that he caught the pass easily, and Ted, my son, knowing that the game was over yelled "NOOOOOO!" and started keening and sobbing.

Then I saw something amazing in Plaxico Buress. Instead, of jumping around and gloating, jumping around and taunting the sidelines (as the jerk did against the Packers) this is what Plaxico Buress did: he knelt down & cried.

He didn't gloat when interviewed in the newspapers. He cried in the locker room too. So, seeing all this and reading it in the paper, I have changed my mind about Mr. Buress. He is human, after all. Then there's a more compelling reason:


one of the more important axioms in the Western World: it's hard to criticize success!!

don't be a MOTHER HEN!

I have 2 roles at the venerable Goldstein law firm that I work at. One is to be a paralegal which is basically doing whatever a lawyer can do, EXCEPT question witnesses at trial and depositions and I can't sign **Pleadings, **Motions or **Discovery.
The other is being the teacher to the law clerks. I work with them pretty closely the 1st week they are at the law firm, and after a week, they are on their own except for questions they may have about the work.
One of the clerks that is in her 9th or 10th day, was speaking to a client who suffered a car accident. The client was suspicious and didn't have caller ID, and so they gave her a very hard time. She handled the situation very well.

There were about 4 things that I wanted to tell her to make her phone call better.

But I only told her 1 of the things, the most important one.
There is such a thing as over-teaching and over-talking. I had just wrote her a long memo about another file we have. So, I am picking and choosing. The most important point is this: experience is the best teacher.
So no "too much talking, over teaching" & no mother henning the clerks!!!!


__________________________
**& remember this is a very user friendly blog complete with 21 readers {& I know who you are :) } So if you were curious about these 3 legal terms, I'll be more than happy to define them.

Super Bowl not happy for Ted

Well another one of my son's favorite teams is the New England Patriots. ("They have the greatest QB, no QB had as good a season as Tom Brady had!!!!", he's fond of saying. )

Poor, poor Teddy, he didn't just cry, he howled. His favorite team scores a dramatic touch down that puts them ahead 14-10, with 2 or 3 minutes to go. Yet, the Giants pulled it out in even more dramatic fashion. They score a touchdown with less than 60 seconds left and win 17-14.

The Patriots coach made a terrible decision not to try and score 3 points in the last half of the game, and it cost them dearly. If the Patriots had gotten the 3 points, the game ends at 17-17 and they go into Overtime. But no, he messed up BADLY.

The Patriots did not protect the quarterback, Tom Brady. This picture shows Tom Brady (he has the blue uniform) getting hit by the champion N.Y. Giants (in white uniforms) and slammed into the ground. He was driven to the ground by the Giants 5 times during the game which is a lot of times for such a good team as the Patriots. THE PATRIOTS WENT INTO THE GAME 18 wins, 0 LOSSES. Yesterday, their first loss of the season denied them the championship!!

youth, change, hope for warmth

It's been a long winter. Long nights.....short days, it's not always about how cold it is. The setting before 5 pm. is the worst part of winter to me. Global warming has made it so that we have had far fewer subzero days in the 90s and 00s than we had in the 70s and 80s. When I shave my beard, the prediction is that there will be warmer weather in 4 weeks. Not quite as bold as the famous groundhog yesterday (I don't know if other nations besides USA, observe Groundhog Day).

As, I did in the 80s and the 90s (starting in about 1985) I grow a beard in the winter and shave in the hopes of warmer weather and guaranteed long days!

The beard is marginally warmer. What I have always said was the 2 minutes I save shaving is spent on scraping snow off the car when I drive to the train station. I hate waking up early in the morning, the 1st 2 hours of the day are the most awkward, and the key is to get stronger as the day goes on (until about 9pm, anyway).

So, here's to a new look....... In a semi-new year...............

Different picture w/ beard on during the XMAS holiday. From upper left going clockwise, Me, Andy, Ted, my nephew Phil and Brianna.

"**a man HAS GOT TO KNOW his limitations"

**THE TITLE CAME FROM A MOVIE!! I'm not Plagiarizing; therefore, I am crediting the screenwriter(s) of 1 of the Dirty Harry movies from the 70s. It was one of the last line of the movie when a corrupt police chief was trying to turn the police force into a bunch of nasty, funky stormtroopers. Clint EAstwood's character, Harry Callahan, of course fights them and wins.

I'm a man who is about 1/2 way through 40 and 50. About the same age as Hermann Hesse's Steppenwolf. (Great book, you need to read it). I already did my mid life crisis, and no longer "slenderly know thyself" (credit to SHAKESPEARE, I won't plagiarize him either, $5 mailed to the person who knows that play)

So it's funny how my thought process has changed from my 20s. When I saw a woman who was attractive, back in the 1980s, it would brighten my whole afternoon. First, I imagined what she really looked like, then how we would get to know each other, maybe where we'd get married, and the nice conversations we had and other, certain experiences. pretty soon it was about 8pm!!

I could recognize an attractive woman, right away. Now let's fast forward 20 yrs. First, in your 40s, your carnal drive isn't nearly as strong as it used to be. Then it takes longer to recognize that someone is actually really attractive, and it doesn't register until I notice

Anyway, there is a well-established psychology that says that when one finds out that one is suffering a terminal illness, they go through certain stages; I believe they are about 4-7 stages and they go from shock, anger, grief, __________, __________, __________ to acceptance/resignation. Well, now when I see or work with a beautiful woman, my mind goes through 3 stages, happiness, chagrin, consolation.

Happiness – Instead of the happy glow that would take me several hours through the afternoon like it used to when I was 24, the happiness stage lasts only about 20 min. I’m so self-effacing now that I don’t even recognize an attractive woman until she starts speaking to me first.

Chagrin – Then I realize that the woman would severely reproach me because 1 of 2 situations would occur. She’s either much younger than me or in a different socio group (meaning? Too different mindset, too Republican, different class, someone I can’t relate too) I just don’t HAVE IT ANYMORE!

Consolation - I have an attractive, smart, driven domestic partner at home. At least, I have smart kids that look up to me. Then the one thing that hasn’t changed at all is the burning heat of conscience. I only “funkily carnal” before 1992 and in early 06’. In fact I always was bitten hard by the tiger’s teeth of conscience and never was seriously tempted with someone else from 92-2002 and after Nov., 2006. I dominated by God (and rightly so)!


Sometimes, guys and gals often wonder (starting in their 30s, “do I still ‘have it’???) I realize the answer is a resounding NO. I’m 44, just lost 30 lbs, but have about 30,40 lbs left to lose. I think about when I was separatetd/divorced in Midlothian an on the dating website Christian Mingle a/k/a http://www.relationships.com/ I was on there from Dec., 2005 to Nov. 2006 and in that whole time had one meaningful relationship. Was rejected far more than hearing the word “yes/ok”. & yes, I was on my best behavior, too!

Then I get a compliment out of nowhere and ask myself the “it” question again. Last October, I received a complement that absolutely shocks me. We had a clerk by the name of John from Arkansas. Like the other law clerks, he was in his mid 20s going to law school. He started in spring of 2007 and stopped in the fall of 2007. So we had a modest party at this swank hotel, 1st floor bar. WE were simply talking, John & I, and all of the sudden he says something like, “You’re so strong, you could throw me around like a rag doll.” & it wasn’t true; here he is a guy in his 20s just as big as I and ………..well………I am from the farm. ……………I still stay strong…Mr. Bender’s 1st password to me was “strong”……...the only time Maribeth overestimates me is my fighting ability………..NO, I STILL doubt I could take John in a fight. Maybe close but who the hell cares, anyhow???

I’m not George Clooney. Therefore, it’s Happiness -- Chagrin -- Consolation for me.