I was paid on Tuesday. It was even a decent sized check with overtime money on there. The money is all spent. I wrote the amount of my check and then started deducting the bills from the deposit. A minute or 2 into all of the bill paying my balance got lower and lower, and I started breathing harder and harder, feeling very tense. THEN THUD! My balance was below zero(0) after the last bill was paid.
It was a thud all right, and I walked around like I was punched in the stomach. It seemed like all of the cost cutting wasn't worth it, nor was the hard work, and working at the law firm extra so I could get overtime pay. I know that I'm wrong writing that because if I hadn't earned overtime (or didn't even work at all) or didn't cut costs, things would be much worse. Yet, I live in a tony suburb where most of the residents are making more than I am and have nice houses. I still live in my small 2 bedroom condo with 3 kids. Then when I go to work 75% of the people do better than I.
However, walking to the train station and seeing all the homeless people begging money so I feel better, but still.................
After balancing the checkbook, all the energy I had left. I walked in one speed-SLOW. I felt like something was taken out of me, and it really hurt. There was no spring in my step as I usually feel pretty enthused when I work. I felt no optimism. The checkbook has been this way since I had to pay almost $1,000 in only a few months for 2 dental bills. & every effort was made to get the dental discount, pay on installments, and still it "blew up" my checking account. Things are slightly better, but there is still over $124 to pay yet. This whole ordeal made Christmas nerve-wracking, and I wasn't sure how we were going to get the money for gas going $200 miles to my parents place in Wisconsin. We had to go because Maribeth and I arrange 1 Christmas at her family, 1 Christmas with my family up in Wisconsin.
Things have been slightly better but the progress is slow and glacial. There's no guarantee that something could happen that would wipe out all the progress. I have checked out books that deal with debt management and they tell me things I already know (spend less). I have cut costs but the budget fight is a constant fight that has no end in sight....................
5 comments:
Oh dear...this post makes me speechless, Vince. I understand that it's hard to cut down expenses when you have three kids.
And I completely understand why you lost your spirits. It's tough knowing that all your money has gone even after you worked overtime and even after you cut down expenses.
I sure hope things will get better later on!!! Crossing my fingers for you!!!
Thanks Amel
My Mom told me that when we were growing up, she had to sell one motorcycle and also some of her gold jewelleries to make ends meet. However, once the kids grew up, she could save more money to buy another motorcycle and those gold jewelleries. :-))))
Maybe it's just one of those periods of time? I wish you THE BEST no matter what.
oww. :-( Been there! It's stressful, draining and lousy way to live. It took us four years to reach a stage where there was more money than month. Hubby was self-employed and his business was costing more than he earned on most jobs. Horrible time, but we got through it.
Things started changing last year, kinda mid-year. My husband got a job that actually pays a livable wage. Christmas 2007 was the first time in six years we could actually buy presents and food and pay the bills.
You can get there, Vince. Hope this is the year things turn around for you.
Hi Vince, I've tagged you.. :-)
http://crows-feet.blogspot.com/2008/02/about-me-tag.html
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