Positive Profiles, Part One

Ok, I was pretty negative about my co-worker Mary. I stand by what I said about her but I want to be positive, because it's more in my nature to sit up and cheer for someone rather than "throwing rocks" at them. So I am going to profile some of the people I work with. The hospital reminds me of the very small town, Ithaca, I grew up where my high school graduating class was 29 people and the town had a population of about 60 and consisted of a church, tavern, farm, and about 28 houses. Ingalls has the same small town ways where a lot of people care about you and will say hi or wave to you when you pass them by. If you wave to someone on the streets of Chicago, they think your a little "off". Of course, Ithaca had its share of pettiness, small mindedness and gossip just like any small town and just like Ingalls as well. But I like working there and the people there are pretty nice to be around.

TRUDY
Trudy is one of the most intelligent persons I know. Ever since I was separated, then divorced, I have been drawn to calm, cool, collected woman (because that's the antithesis of my ex who has a great knack for "flying off the handle" and a true talent for starting fights) . If a dictionary had a definition of "calm, cool, collected person" Trudy's picture would be there. Trudy was derided by snap-judgment, superficial Mary as having "no personality". How wrong Mary was! Trudy has a great sense of humor, with funny perceptive observations. Some guys would probably not think of Trudy as being a "hottie". She has bookish glasses, highlighted breezy hair and her body suggests someone who isn't obsessed with being at the gym each & every day. But those are the very traits that humanize her make me fond of her more. She has another feature that I can't stop thinking about. Before our co-worker, Hani was murdered (see post of 8/21/05 "Where to Begin...?") he took us to an Arabic bar where there was great music, belly dancing, and at other times everyone could get up and dance. Trudy, Hani, Evan and our other friends danced. At one point, during the dancing I held Trudy's hand. My God, hers was the softest hand I ever held. I felt incredibly lucky to hold it. Every now and then, I'll look at her hands and instantly flashback to that sublime moment back in May.

It's very, very unlikely that I'll be more than a casual friend in Trudy's view. She wisely stated that co-workers should not get serious, but should be just friends. I can't seem to make her like me anymore than she does now, can't seem to get through her calm, placid exterior, & have given up trying. I only saw her lose her "coolness" once which was during the time after Hani's death. The day after his murder, Trudy called me. She didn't know if I knew about his death. We spoke about what should be done after his death. We talked about reaching out to Hani's Muslim family. "They need to know how much he was loved!!" Trudy exclaimed. Her compelling suggestion is something I'll remember because it was a dramatic departure from the cool, collected demeanor she shows 99% of the time. Of course, it was after her friend's death so naturally she's not going to be aloof about that! She even went to the ghetto where the nightclub is where he died. She got some criticism for taking that risk. My friends didn't want to lose Trudy too!
Another reason I am impressed with her is that she is the only person I know who subscribes to the Wilson Quarterly and the only one I can talk to about NPR. When her & I are interested about some topic, it's been awesome because we've had some fascinating conversations.

There's also another reason why I don't think I would ever get serious with Trudy. She's an agnostic. I asked her once if she believed in heaven & hell. She replied,"Well, I definitely don't believe in hell. There may be a heaven because you hear about those people who have a near-death experience and the supernatural presence is something they witness. But they could just be hallucinating." I can't agree with her viewpoint.

I want to make her a believer, but that is beyond my capability as well. But she really is an unforgettable person. She is not only a nurse but she was also honorably discharged from the Air Force as a MAJOR years ago. I've resolved to merely be a casual friend to this attractive, intelligent woman with the soft hands. There's nothing else I can do, not even if I tried.