concern about Andy

I'm a little worried about my oldest child, Andy. He has been having stomach problems and had to leave school early on Tuesday and yesterday he also "got sick" and would have left but it was at the tail end of the school day, and he didn't miss anything.

I was concerned that it was something he was eating that didn't agree with him, but we have been avoiding foods that are hard to digest.

I'm hoping it's not been stress. Maribeth and I have been getting along pretty well, and I do know there was an instance either in the fall or winter where we had an argument and Andy got sick that same day. That doesn't speak well for the 2 of us, and yes, we should probably argue away from the kids. But I live with someone who is pretty open about what she says, and it's hard to coax into going someplace to argue.

But anyway, with Maribeth & I getting along lately, it's hard to figure out what's wrong with my son.

blue

I feel about as good as the weather which is rainy with gunmetal gray skies. (wait a minute isn't gunmetal gray predominately black? if you know, let me know. If it is than the sky isn't that dark, it would be nighttime if it was).
I feel crappy because some good people left our law firm. Brad, my boss, left. When he first announced that he gave his notice to quit, I ruefully said, "Well, thanks for leaving me with Joan!" (I changed the name of my remaining boss so that she stays "protected"). He replied, "Well, it's nothing personal" Yes, we know Brad. But it sucks seeing his empty chair. The thing I liked most about Brad was how unflappable he was. I could tell him that I made a mistake, and he was just so nonchalant, so "laid back" about it! I loved that. It really encourages a person to be very truthful because even when you admit something you did was wrong you aren't going to be punished or even made to feel bad. Brad never would do that unless the mistake was real bad like a blown deadline that would kill a case. & I never made mistakes like that with him.
We also had a clerk that was gone. I enjoyed working with him because he knew more about rock n' roll (it seemed) than I did. I miss all the fun conversations and he always was someone I could share things with, and commiserate with.
But, you know what? It's silly to get upset about people leaving because the turnover rate at law firms is very high. That's just the way it is, and I've been at quite a few of them. That's why I'm so thankful that I've stayed at this law firm for over 2 1/2 years. That seems like a short time anywhere else but it's relatively long at a law firm.

Another thing that really bothered me is that the bank really gave me a big hit for overdraft fees. Yes, I know that I have no one but myself to blame for that, but in one case it just defies logic. On Saturday, I mailed a credit card bill to Target located in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. That's in excess of 400 miles away, but my payment made it there in 1 day and was processed and sent to the bank the very same day! Now Target National Bank is a very big bank and you would think they would literally receive 1,000s of pieces of mail every day. So, I'm still scratching my head over how I mail something Saturday and it winds up getting there Monday and my check is immediately cashed. Had I known that would have happened I would have obviously would have waited until Monday to mail the bill. (I got paid on Tuesday, and I figured, at the time, that I had plenty of time to zip my check into the bank the same day and it would be able to beat the check to Target. But noooooooooooo...................

Oh well, the answer is to suck it up and keep going!
On a more positive note, my Mom's birthday is today. She's 82. I am very thankful I didn't have merely a good mother, but a great one. I will be buying Mother's Day cards for her and Maribeth. Even when we were separated, Maribeth & I would still get each other Mother's Day/Father's Day cards. I told her today that I planned to take her out for breakfast which is her favorite way to celebrate an occasion. She liked that idea a lot. To all you mothers who read this blog, Happy Mother's Day.

finally, it's SATURDAY!

I remember having a rough time getting up last Monday morning, and I said to myself, "I can't wait until Saturday when I can sleep in." Then every morning thereafter, when I wanted to go back to bed so badly after the alarm rang, I thought, "Wait 'til Saturday". Well, here it is Saturday. I didn't get to sleep in much longer than usual, because I got up at 7:20 as opposed to 6:45. I guess the celebration came after I got up. I got to read the paper in bed. I listened to NPR. I read a little bit of my New Yorker. So the "sleeping in" part wasn't so great because I didn't really sleep in, but the sense of not having to race to a train station to go to work, the sense of being so casual, the sense of being unshaven, unkept, in shorts and tank top (yes, I look terrible), was very nice and very pleasant.

What was really nice was that I made it a point to keep the phone lines open as Maribeth requested, but no one called which was nice. When I saw on the caller ID that there was a phone call from Firestone, I blew it off and didn't answer.

The highlight of the morning was hearing one of the popular programs on NPR called Car Talk, it comes on before the very popular show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me which is a quiz show focusing on people's knowledge of the past week's news events. I loved Car Talk because I hadn't listened to it in at least a year or so. I listened to it when I lived alone in Midlothian, but I haven't lived alone since the end of 2006.

Car Talk is a very good show made that way by the hosts, Tom & Ray Maglozzi (yes, they're brothers). They are very folksy, witty and the show can be listened to for its humor as much as the knowledge you get about fixing a car or finding out what the problem with your car is. Here's an example. The 1st caller was Christy of Washington, DC. Here's how the dialogue went.

Host: You're from Washington DC? Are you a lawyer, lobbyist or politician?

Christy: None of them, I'm a teacher.

Host: Teacher? Do you "reach" your kids?

C: Absolutely, yes!

H: What %age?

C: 100%.

H: Wow, sounds like a promoter more than a teacher.

After the humorous exchange, they finally get down to the problem. She loves her 1993 Honda Accord (& it has 270,000 miles), but there's a funny noise after she got a new clutch, & the noise occurs when she turns the car either right or left. They asked her if it makes the same noise when she is in idle and turns it right or left. She didn't know.

This is what surprised me: they told her to go out to the car at once and find out because that would help them diagnose the problem. They told her to keep her phone line open. So while she did that they took another caller a guy with a 1983 Volvo who lived in Malaysia. One of the hosts bragged that while his brother didn't know where Malaysia was, he did because he worked in the CIA. (OK that wasn't so funny but it seemed to be at the time; you had to be there, ok?)

After the guy was finishing up the car, he told the hosts how much he enjoyed Car Talk.

"It has kept me sane being so far from home"

Host: Well that's good because the show is driving us crazy!!!

So, the woman with the 93 Honda Accord came back after the call and after some discussion they came up in very expert fashion of what her problem was. Then a man came on the air with a car he has had for 20 years (man do they ever take a call from a car literally built this century???!?)

It was a problem with his front end. They asked what's the longest he drove the car and he said 400 miles. Then they chided him because he took such a big risk. The problem was a metal bearing connected to the wheel. They told him that it was breaking and if it broke completely off, he would smash into something. They told him to drive his car slowly to the car mechanic at once. But before he drove there, make sure that his life insurance was paid up and "all of his affairs were in order!"

To really appreciate the show, you would obviously have to listen to the show.

But I am enjoying my Saturday. I am hoping that this weekend is the 1st weekend I get to ride my bike and burn off a few calories in my fight against my fatness. I have lost 30 pounds.

You ever notice how much better complements are when it comes from family?? Well, when I was home last, my brother, Jerome, told me how much better I looked, and that he noticed I lost weight. I felt like I was handed $200. & from a guy who has to watch every dollar and is scrimping, saving and not taking a vacation in about 15 years ago, $200 would feel very, very good. Then I thought to myself, gee, I wonder if Bob (another brother, nicknamed good-naturedly "the Golden Schauf" since he has done so well and is prosperous {& yes, Bob, we know it was a result of hard work}) would ever make such an observation to me. Probably not, he would focus on the fact that I still need to lose at least another 50 pounds. That's ok, everyone needs a critic. Think of what a good critic our Lord is.

Yipee! I'm done!

In my pursuit to balance out happy posts with sad posts, I wanted to write about something that made me very, very relieved.

At the place I work, I am happy, because I finished a big project by myself. I've been much busier, because the clerk staff is cut in half (from 6 people to 3). So with 3 people, I have been doing clerks' projects that would have normally gone to the 3 clerks who just left. (They left due to finals and they are in their last semester of law school).

The big project was very worrisome, because I was concerned that I wasn't going to be able to finish it by deadline. There were probably thousands of pages I had to look through (albeit some of it was skimming). I am concerned about our client because he was badly hurt in forklift accident. He hasn't worked since the accident which was a long time ago.

Could you imagine not working for a long time, sitting around not be able to lift over 30 pounds due to a severe back injury? It makes you think you're lucky, doesn't it?? Sometimes I envy construction workers because their earning potential is high, but the problem is that they get hurt at work. The chances of a major injury happening where I work are very, very low. So, I guess I made the right choice in the field of work.

sometimes......

Sometimes the ads in Google do not necessarily correspond with my beliefs. For instance, the End of the World could happen anytime, but I am not one of those people who are absolutely certain that it's going to happen in my lifetime. It could but I'm not going to go around saying you better get ready b/c it's going to happen. Really, we should be good anyway. It's far more likely that a person could die an untimely death than the Apocalypse occurring tomorrow.

• Just to reiterate: I do believe in the Apocalypse.
• I don't know when it will happen
• Might happen in my lifetime but not sure it will (not like some people).

Are we clear? OK

not sure what to do

I am very sorry for being so vague in this post. I have to be vague in order to protect myself. There are more people who read this blog than I think (yes, I made a joke about having 19 readers but the truth is I don’t really know who reads it & who doesn’t. Obviously, you have readers on your blog who don’t comment).

There’s a person that’s not located in my hometown (I am not married, not divorced nor related to this person). This is a person I am upset with for making my life difficult. During the course of walking Monday through Friday, I have to walk where her location is. I find it so distasteful to see her that I alter my route now so that I don’t have to see her if she’s there. I am not comfortable with disliking this person so much, but she was wrong, and I really, really tried to get along with her to no avail. I tried to help her numerous times to help her, and it’s all been swept away into massive negativity.
Also, I was criticized for severing the relationship, and in so doing, I wouldn’t have to talk or deal with her. If it’s a dysfunctional relationship, why should I stay in it??? But I was criticized for my haste and blunt efforts. I guess I can see why I was wrong, but I hope that those who criticized me understand my perspective.

I guess the answer lies in forgiving this person to myself, silently. (we are so opposed to each other that if I said “I forgive you” it would result in another fight) But that’s hard. This area of my life means so much to me and for her to complicate and make miserable this area of my life, really makes me have absolute contempt for her. I don’t want to call her a name, I don’t want to yell at her. I just don’t want to see or hear her for a long time. But if that happens, I’ll tolerate it and keep going.

Think about it

There's a book that I absolutely love reading called Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse. I don't know if any of you have read it. Part of me strongly recommends reading it, but you have to have a very high tolerance for unconventional thinking. The pattern of the novel is that it starts out with a narrative of events occurring to the author and as the novel progresses there are more and more "dreamed up", surreal events and fewer actual events that the author is really experiencing.

One of the 1st things that is dreamed up is that the main person in the book, Harry Haller, is walking down the street. As he walks down the sidewalk someone comes up to him and gives him a book and walks away from him. He doesn't look at the book right away. Instead he takes the book to his rented home and finds out to his amazement that the book is actually all about him! The book gives a brief description of him and quickly delves into what his problems are. The book (actually a short story or treatise) offers some suggestions and also discusses some unconventional views on suicide and humor.

Here's my point. What if you were walking down the street and accepted a book from someone, and it turns out the short story/treatise is about you and the problems and illusions that are hurting you and your life. What would your book say? Would it be a very thin 4 page affair because you are a remarkably well-adjusted individual? Or, would your author have a lot to write about?? Hmm.............

Dear God letters

When things are tough, or when there's something really important about to happen and I want the outcome to be positive, I will write a "Dear God" letter. I basically write better than I talk (sometimes it's hard to tell with my grammatical errors emitting from this blog like stinky sludge).

So I write down what I have to say to God. I usually write 90% of the letter in shorthand (a written language that was once used by office secretaries, but is basically a dying art with the advent of dictaphones). I write it in shorthand so that others can't read what I wrote. I wrote one this morning amid all the problems at work. I don't know if I mean it or not, but I said I would accept whatever the outcome the bosses decide on. I really can't imagine continuing working with someone so incredibly insufferable that she puts no value in my work. Making this all more poignant is that there are other attorneys that value my work. Yes, that's true. I'm not lying. I didn't stay at this law firm for 2 1/2 years doing crappy work.

I wrote my prayer. Dear God, I hope you read it and will act accordingly. & yes, I will follow whatever the decision is.

Happy Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day! I hope everyone has something good they can contribute to making the environmnent a little better.
Politics in the USA has been predicated and dominated by bitter partisan debates. This has been going on, unfortunately, since 1991, probably after the 1st Gulf War (Operation Desert Storm). It went on during the 1st Bush presidency, it was especially bad during the Clinton era, there have been times it's been bad now. One thing that I think is especially encouraging is that political & even religious leaders that are absolute polar opposites have been sitting on a bench together and sending out a message. The message is: our planet is in trouble. Together we must come together, European, Asian, African, Austrailian, North & South American, conservative, liberal, centrist, atheist, Muslim and Christian and help create and act out a strategy that will allow us to stop global warming. The 1st commercial was Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson. Wow, can't imagine 2 more different people than that. But there they were smiling, joking and speaking the above earnest message. The 2nd pair was Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich. Again, you look at them sitting on the bench together, smiling and you say wow. Could this mean something new in politics? Could this mean that bitter partisanship with mindless conservative talk shows talking about how the government messes up everything (well maybe in Iraq they did) and the same shows demonizing certain political figures like Hillary Clinton. (No we're not going to say what she's doing, we'll just exaggerate and distort all her views. Then we'll tell everyone who cares to listen what Barack Obama's middle name is and tell everyone he really is a Muslim. (HE ISN'T, DAMNIT) These talk show people like Rush Limbaugh are just scum.

But at any rate, I'm glad leaders from different political stripes are getting together and agreeing that yes, the earth is worth saving. That we all really need to do something. I wish this meant that change is underway and that there won't be this corrosive bitterness in Washington D.C. I wish that; I don't know if it will happen.

Saturday vs. Sunday

I have been at the same law firm for 2 1/2 years. Last week, it's safe to say was the worst week I ever had there. So the weekend was looked forward to: get away from work, regroup, put a smile on my face, relax.

Well, it certainly didn't start out well. Friday night, I walked Brianna to her friend's place because she was having a sleep-over. I was wearing earth shoes with a crack in the sole. Well guess what found it's way into the crack of the left shoe & into the ball of my foot?? Yes, an inch long thorn/briar off of this thorntree. I started saying "ouch" repeatedly and quickly took my shoe off and was going to put the shoe back on but the briar (I quickly noticed) was still in it. So I pulled this long briar out and kept walking Brianna to her friend's place. Since the briar went through the cracked sole it probably went 1/2" to a 3/4" into my foot, it was very sore. So my daughter, Brianna, (BLESS HER LITTLE SOUL!!) said, "Here Daddy, I'll hold your hand and we'll walk the rest of the way over to Bella's place." At first, I thought well that won't help and was going to say no thanks, but then I thought that would be a terrible mistake. If Bri wants to help me, then for God's sakes let her! More importantly, how often will your little daughter offer to hold your hand and help you out????!!??

Saturday, I could not sleep in because I was helping Maribeth with her craft show. My foot hurt and I was terribly miserable, because I was brooding over the bad problem at work. I felt terrible in a number of ways, (WAAA!). No, I didn't cry but was brooding terribly. Then I explained all this to Maribeth and she said she understood in a voice so tender that I thought, "Oh my God, Maribeth just comforted me. How awesome is that?!?" That's when I started tearing up and dabbing around my eyes.

The craft fair was a minor success for Maribeth and her sister. They did slightly better than breaking even so you can't complain about that. Now, more people know about them too.

Sunday was so much more different. I got to sleep until after 8, then I laid in bed listened to music and read the Sunday paper. I stopped thinking about the problem at work, and was finally happy. It's amazing how sleeping late changes a sad outlook. In fact, the whole day I didn't let last week's woes get to me much so we can chalk it up as a good day. The bed is really becoming the nicest, most sublime place to be.

But we all have to remind ourselves of Neil Peart's saying, "You won't get wise with the sleep still in your eyes, no matter what your dreams might be!" I won't be able to pay any bills sleeping. But one thing for sure. I really don't know how I did it working all those night shifts at Ingalls Hospital for 3 years.

trying, I'm really trying!

In my attempt to not sound to stupid, pathetic and worst of all, unreadable, I'm trying to work on sounding more dignified. I'm going to resist the urge of talking about how hard it is to get up in the morning, the fact that I sometimes feel very sad, why it's so very important that I take enough simethicone and activated charcoal and being horribly embarassed when I don't.

I'm not going to talk about the latest argument with Maribeth (& besides it was decreed that I wouldn't). I'm not going to talk about the latest person to leave the law firm and how bad it makes me feel.

I do want to talk about politics more, but I'm too tired to do that now. (oops I wasn't supposed to mention that, was I).

a meme, I think (?)

• 1. Rate your life from 1-10 (1 being very miserable) 7 for some reason I thought the original meme said rate your life on a scale from 1-5. Oh well, poor reading on my part.
• 2. Is your hair long or short?A: Moderate length, no crew cuts, bald heads b/c I hate them.
• 3. Do you have many real friends?A: I think so.
• 4. Name friends you last hung out with?A: There’s a few friends I work with and we work in the same room.
• 5. Do you love chicken?A: I don’t mind eating chicken but it’s my least favorite meat (Beef is my favorite)
• 6. Last three drinks you had?A: Mountain Dew, Water & water
• 7. Do you eat fish?A: Yes, I love fish: tuna, haddock, catfish, salmon, others. Surprisingly, I don’t eat much fish until Lent comes along in the late winter/early spring
• 8. Do people mispronounce or spell your name incorrectly?A: First name: No; Last name: Yes
• 9. Who was the last person you hugged?A: Maribeth
• 10. Last guy you think about?A: I take it this means last woman you think about for me, right? That would be Maribeth
• 11. Any food that made you smile today?A: My cold cereal was pretty good.
  12. Name one thing you have in common with your friends?A: They share my taste for music.
  
• 13. Do you trust your friends?A: Yes
  
• 14. How old will you be in five years?A: Almost 50
• 15. Do you believe in love?A: Yes, you haven’t really lived until you loved
  
• 16. Except for family and friends, who are you in love with?A: Never thought about that…..no one.
• 17. Do you honestly believe you have found the right guy/girl?A: I will say this. I am very grateful for Maribeth, because unlike so many other women, Maribeth gave me a chance and said “yes”. (She did this by being in a relationship with me) Maribeth has done more for me in the last 17 years than anyone else on the face of Planet Earth. I will also say that I can’t imagine being with anyone else right now.
  
• 18. Are you someone's best friend?A: I don’t think so. I had a best friend before 1990, but he died in a train accident.
  
• 19. Do you love music?A: I most definitely do. It is one of the ways I can be defined. Long live ROCK N’ ROLL!
  
• 20. Last song you listened to?A: Rust never Sleeps (Rock & Roll Will Never Die) by Neal Young. I’m hearing it now.
• 21. What's the instrument you wish you were able to play?A: Lead guitar. I would give my 3rd toe to do so!!
• 22. Who was the last person you talked to?A: Coworker
  
• 23. Who was the last person to call you?A: Renee, my office manager at the condo I am president of.
• 24. Would you consider yourself a worrier?A: Definitely. (“I wonder if I’ll make it through the day! I hope I don’t get in trouble!!” L!)
  
• 25. Do you consider yourself as a happy person?A: No. See above answer. I am thankful and greatful, but there’s too much that’s wrong with the world and my immediate surroundings to be happy.
  
• 26. Do you believe in saving yourself for marriage?A: No (I’m sorry, God)
  
• 27. Last person that pissed you off?A: Maribeth
  
• 28. From whom have you missed the most calls in the last 5 days?A: I don’t know I missed them and don’t know about it. & by the way this is moreso because I lost my cellphone Friday.
  
• 29. Who's the first person you call when you're having a bad day?A: I think Maribeth or maybe a co-worker.
• 30. Last person who made you laugh like crazy?A: Maribeth (actually she was laughing like crazy and I was watching her with much delight)
  
• 31. Who's your greatest inspiration in life?A: Good question but tough question. There’s people that do inspire me: my kids, my Dad, trying to live up to the expectations of my family in WI, being true to certain friends. Maribeth is an inspiration because I often try to prove that I’m worth the fuss I cause her.
  
• 32. Are you a good guesser?A: I would rather not guess.
• 33. Who was the last person to sing your current favorite song and what song?A: myself. I was singing “In My Time of Dying”. Sorry for being so morose.
• 34. Who makes you laugh the most?A: my kids
• 35. What have you been telling yourself lately?A: don’t be so sad, you live a blessed and lucky life. Thank God I have such great kids.

if your happy and you know it clap your hands

I'm sorry to all my readers for writing about "downer" subjects in the last few posts.

First of all, it's Monday and I don't feel bad. I'm comfortably numb and only mildly concerned of what this new day will bring me. Mildly concerned is just fine and perfectly normal, don't you think?

I went to my parents place this weekend. They live 200 mi. NW of me in Wisconsin. It's 1/3 of the way through April, and Wisconsin was still getting snow flurries. Hey, but it's my hometown and I was glad to be there if only for a day. I was really happy because (did you hear that???? "really happy" I said) my brothers Bill & Jerome and sister Kathi were all there and I wasn't expecting to see them. I had to listen to Kathi & Jerome talk conservative politics, and I was about ready to walk out of my parent's house, but hey, if that's the price I have to pay to see my siblings well I guess I will happily pay it. Then Kathi decided when coming to Dad's birthday party (he's 83) to show off her lacy bra. I was aghast. Kathi is very thin, very prim and very proper. So to see her fail to have her shirt halfway unbottoned rivaled the absolute shock that my niece is going to have triplets and she already has 3 kids. & she already has stopped working because she's so big. Poor, poor Annie!!! How in the world will they manage. But then again, "If God is for us, who can be against???"

The Cooling Board

"When I got there, she was layin' on the cooling board." - Son House's song "Death Letter"

I have been listening to a ton of White Stripes lately. One of the songs I enjoy hearing was their cover of the above Son House song "Death Letter". The song was a very powerful narrative of something that happened to an unfortunate young man back in the early 1900s. In those days, there were no phones, no Internet. He had a long distance relationship, and so when the girlfriend suddenly died, he found out by the relatives writing a letter sent via US mail and telling him to go see her/attend her funeral at once.

The story is similar to a story that my maternal grandfather told me. Previously, I knew that Grandpa Nachreiner's mom died when he was about 12 or so. Then his father remarried, but sadly, it was to the proverbial mean stepmother (how many stories have we read about the mean stepmother who afflicts the surviving kids?) . So my grandfather left home and became an adult in his early teens. In those days, you could do that. He began smoking at 14, 15 yrs. of age and died when he was 95.

So, we can say that not only did Grandpa's mother die, but at that same moment so did his childhood.

One Sunday, I think in the late 70s, without being prompted, he talked about his mother's death. He didn't explain what she died from because in this story that wasn't important; it was the fact that she was no longer going to "mother" him or be there to guide him and soothe his fears and misfortunes as only a mother can do.

He explained that one of the first things they did after she died was remove her from the house. It was during the summer. Now since this happened sometime between 1903 - 1905, there were not morgues and if there were, Grandpa's family surely could not afford to have his dear mom in one.

They laid his mother on a cake of ice. By keeping her cool (remember the song above talks about the "cooling board"), she would not decompose and literally smell dead. However, it was a hot summer, and she laid dead, outside the house for well over a day. By the time of the funeral, when she finally was given the dignity of a coffin, she was laying not in a cake of ice but a puddle of lukewarm water.

Grandpa never cried in front of me before or after that story. Even though it happened to him over 75 years earlier, the memories were still raw enough for him to well up with tears at the end of the story. What a way to lose your childhood!

I saw and heard this video

Sunday morning, for some reason we had either VH1 or MTV on.
I heard the video/song Kid Rock's "Amen" He talks about some of the things that are wrong with this country, but sadly enough, doesn't venture very far outside the cliche or the superficial. Here is one part that I took particular exception. He sings,
"...these wolves in sheep clothes pastors/Now damnit I'm afraid to send my children to church"

Sexual abuse among the clergy is a terrible, deplorable problem which has given the Church a very, very black eye. But Kid Rock's above lyric sounds and is stupid in several ways.
Afraid to send your kid to church????

Really? & how many priests abuse kids right in the middle of a church service? It would seem to me that going to church is one of the safest places to be. Also, why is Kid Rock sending his child to church, why the hell isn't he going to church with the child??? Are we sleeping off a hangover from partying on Saturday night??
It just goes to show you that when some people make criticisms it sometimes reveals more of the person who is doing the criticizing than it does the subject of criticism.

Weekend vs. Monday, Part 2

Monday morning again, & I felt like crying. It didn't help that I lost my watch the day before and I felt like a fish out of water. Then I had to take the later train. Every little thing was bothering me. When I take the later train, there are 3 women I usually talk to and crowd into these 2 benches in the back of the train (facing each other) and the leg room is absolutely cramped and with my old, stiff knees, it's just a killer. Well, one of the women didn't show up, instead it was a guy. So my legs were meshed into his legs (again it's because the boothlike arrangement of the seats make it that way). I'm so glad that for the most guy this guy is either sleeping or acting like it doesn't bother him, because it certainly bothers me. It's like, "Please, man, I'm not gay, I just have absolutely no room." I know you all think that's ridiculous that I would think like that, but guys do think like that, we're different from women.

The weekend was nice and relaxing. It's so funny because the highlight wasn't going to a restaurant twice in the same weekend but laying down and taking a nap in the middle of the day and feeling really good after I woke up.

But even on the weekend there were problems. The NCAA basketball teams I bet on were disgraceful and lost decisively. I lost my watch & I still feel lost!!

The lowlight of the weekend was my verbal fight with Sal, our Handyman. Sal is a man of the streets. He got a girl pregnant when he was 14, he left home and stopped going to school shortly thereafter. It completely stands to reason that his way of thinking is completely different than my wife's way of thinking and my way of thinking. Even my kids can't believe he lives the way he does and disapprove.

So why in the world do we even hang around this man? Because we keep needing things fixed both at our place and at our condo. Also he needs us because he doesn't have a valid driver's license and needs to be taken places and most of all, he has no money, no person wants to hire someone with a checkered past. Yet, Sal is a very talented individual inspite of his very checkered past. This is a man who re-sided in a very expert, workmanlike manner my father in law's house . This is a man who took a mouse & rat infested house (again my father in law's house) and turned into a decent respectable place with nary a varmint and nice, hardwood floors. A place that could sell for over $200,000.

So basically, Sal needs us and we need Sal. Saturday, Sal really irritated me because I extended him a courtesy by telling him that I would be a certain place later on, and he took it as being bothered. I told him he wasn't being bothered and he damn well better mind his manners because I was damn sick and tired of him making stupid accusations against me. I had been nothing but nice to Sal since November of 2006, but my patience with him has absolutely come to an end.

So anyway, here I am feeling very sad at work and needing to get on with life. One adjustment I really must make is my management of my meds. When you have to take medication, you sometimes get the urge that you really don't need them that you're tough enough to withstand life without them. So during weekends I'll think, "If I'm taking time off of work, then I'll take time off of my other medicines." Then Monday hits me like a ton of bricks and there's no anti-depressants flowing through my blood stream. That's bad planning on my part.

So let's go and get on with the week!! & be smarter!!

Yahoo: It's not as good as it use to be

At least 10 times a day, I look up my Yahoo e-mail and see some title like: SEXUALLY EXPLICIT PHOTOS AND VIDEOS! I yawn wearily and spam it out. I'm so tired of spaming out the porn promotions. I think I went astray once a while back and they all learned my e-mail address and now I'm paying for it in "spades". ("Spades" is a saying about getting a heavy punishment; in this context, it has no racial implications WHATSOEVER!).

I am struck at how boring and tiresome spamming out all my porn is.

• NAUGHTY MOTHERS & THEIR WILLING NEIGHBORS - yawn, sigh, spam out
• FUNKY CHEERLEADERS & THEIR HAPPY SPECTATORS - roll my eyes, spam out

NASTY SLUTS with EVERYONE ELSE - not at all surprised

So the flipside is, "Well, Vince, how much are you paying for your Yahoo Mail? Yes, it's free. So what do I want for nothing?? Huh??????
Well, many of us know that when the spam filter is active it takes spam mail and puts it in the "BULK" folder. It used to be that the BULK folder would reach 1,000 e-mails (LITERALLY, THAT'S NO EXAGGERATION) in 3 days! But at least then, I wasn't getting all this nonsense porn. It used to be better. No it sucks. I have to wade through all the cesspool of spam to get to messages that actually mean something.

The other thing is people who I love dearly and think the world of sending me these enlightened, inspirational messages but then they ruin it at the end by the message going
"If you don't send this to anyone, you're going to hell
If you send this to no less than 10 people, you are going to get something really nice.
If you send this to 100 people, you have a great shot at heaven.
If you send this to 1000 people, you are going to be canonized a saint!! "

ONE OTHER NOTE OF CLARIFICATION!!!! I am not directing this last paragraph at anyone who puts on their great blog questions about you, what are those things called, memes?? tags?? I'm so clueless I forgot. (like name 5 things you're impassioned about? what are your 5 favorite bands or musical artists). No I don't mean anyone whose my blogging buddy. They have been nothing but kind and I love them. xo!

Y'all know what I'm talking about now, don't you??

Sunday morning/Monday morning, a sad contrast

The contrast of Sunday morning and this morning could not have been more stark. Yesterday, I was in bed, sleeping late or reading the papers while I was listening to good music when I wasn’t getting my daughter to and from CCD. The bed felt, oh so nice!! It was so nice, so undemanding. Even the kids helped and didn’t ask me to get out of bed and help them with things. My God, I was so content. & I knew it would be so different 24 hours later.

This was one time I wish I wasn’t so right. This morning, I woke up about a ½ hour before the alarm went off. I still let the snooze alarm go off once in a feeble attempt to sty in the place that was my refuge (the bed). I got up later and Maribeth was in a foul mood and getting upset with our oldest son because he couldn’t locate his keys.

Then, it also hit me that we have the problem with the pool at the condo, and there’s no real solution to getting it fixed or even a timetable to getting it fixed. I felt terrible, getting ready, driving to the train, being on the train. It didn’t even help getting some Rolos candy which I usually enjoy.

All the words of consolation were like so much water falling into a big fire. Here’s how I feebly tried to cheer up:
Well, at least I have a job, it would be worst if you didn’t have anywhere to go on a weekday morning………..SSSSSSSSST! (sound of water hitting fire)
If I didn’t have a job, I wouldn’t be able to help or do anything for my household, that’s what would be depressing……….SSSSSSSSST

There’s so many people in the world who are worse off than I. Heck you could say that well over ½ the world is considerably worse off than I………..SSSST & everyone you know at work and at your club has a house whereas you have a limited little condo. Everyone around you is driving a nicer car, has a better paying job and has a nice home. YOU LIVE IN OAK FOREST, AFTER ALL!!SSSSSSSSSSSSSST!

So, I sat there and took it one minute at a time. I was too upset and down to take it 1 day at a time. I would just go through the motions and do what I normally do.

Then finally, late in the morning, early afternoon I felt better. There was enough to think about at work, and enough that I got off my chest about our pool problem that I simply felt better. Let’s hope that nothing goes wrong for the rest of the day.

& I am thankful that I do live in a decent place with a decent car and job, & the Lord is in my life. The morning was a sign that he needs to be in my life more so that I can deal with these situations better.

something to cheer me up

I really, really love history, so, obviously I enjoy talking about it. During work, there was a general announcement to shut down your computer. They were doing some work to the network so everyone had to turn them off. Well, in a law office, if the computers go down there is nothing to do, 99% of your work is done from the computer and I'm not even exaggerating.

So, we went into this lawyer's office and talked about history and current events. We were saying how Bush is probably going to go down in history as one of the worst presidents since Harding. We were pretty amazed that his vice president would ask, "So" (who cares?) when told that 2/3 of the American people were against the war. Bush thinks the same thing that happened to Pres. Truman will happen to him. (Truman retired in 1953 very unpopular because he put us in the Korean War, then history gradually rehabilitated his reputation now he is considered a great or very good president). But there's a difference. Iraq didn't invade anyone and in the Korean War, N. Korea did invade in 1950. There's a really good show on last night and tonight called Frontline on PBS channel talking about the war.

----------------------------

Another topic.

I'm not sure if anyone local (in the Oak Forest, Midlothian, Tinley Park, Frankfort area) reads this blog but if you do, please come to our TMA Clubhouse the afternoon. It's April 19 in the afternoon; my sister-in-law is having a crafts show (bring $$, it's good stuff!).

Amel, we will rent you a jet so you can fly into Oak Forest, Illinois and come, too. (he, he)

a few issues

I got up this morning and after getting the kids off to their grandpa, I felt anxious and very worried. At first, I couldn't put my finger on it (have you ever been worried for no apparent reason??? I actually have).

• But then it hit me as to why I was worried. As my profile on the side says, I am the president of our 28 building, 160some unit condo complex. We have an apparent problem with our pool because there is buckling near the pool. But we have to spend 10s of thousands of dollars to find out what the problem actually is!
• Our Treasurer says that we will have to pass a special assessment/bill to all the owners to pay $100 per month for 3 months. It makes me cringe just telling people about that. They are going to hate us! It just makes me feel awful.

I think the other reason why not only me and others are not so happy is that this has been such a long, cold, snowy winter and it's March 25 and we are still having days where it is literally freezing.

laughter and more laughter

Maribeth usually has a saturnine personality. Work at Loyola is tough for her and her co-workers, and there’s obstacles that come up at home, not the least of which is paying all these expenses for a household with 3 kids. So usually she’s not too happy. Maybe in one respect, I’ve failed her because I’m no comedian and she would be happier if I was one.

So here’s what happened all 3 of the kids, Maribeth and I were watching Family Guy. The punchline at the end was pretty funny. Yet, Maribeth thought it was hilarious. She laughed very hard, then she laughed more. She was laughing as I hard as I ever saw her laugh in about a decade!!!
Seeing her laugh so hard was really a wonderful thing to see. Just for those 5 minutes or so, it seemed like all was right with her world. It seemed like none of her problems at that small point in time mattered. At that point, Maribeth rose decisively above her worries and enjoyed laughing. When she was laughing, I just stopped and stared at her. It was really, really a beautiful, sublime sight to see Maribeth laughing so hard. Just for those few minutes. it was really nice to see a ray of sunshine brightening up her world.

a little note about the pix on the last post

Due to my backwardness and complete lack of savvy making my blog (I need to learn!). I put 3 pictures together. I wanted the 2 pictures of the WhiteStripes/Meg White to be together but not with the picture of "happy plant". I don't want people to have the idea that I'm associating the White Stripes with "happy plant". My intent was to put MJ at the bottom with the White Stripes being at the start of the post. But blogger outwitted me & I gave up. I'm so GOMER!

Lists inspired by Chocolate Mint Girl

I credit these lists to Chocolate Mint Girl. There were a few lists I had a lot to say, so I went to 10 instead of 8. Sorry, everyone, I still am not sure what a meme is and how to effectively use one. Really, I am!!!!!!!

10 things I'm passionate about:

1. Good rock and roll music.

2. My religious views, my pursuit of being in tune with God.

3. Politics, I’ve been a political junkie since I was 7 (I memorized the names of all the US Presidents in the summer of 70’)

4. Being a good friend.

5. The idea of being in love

6. My 3 kids – Andy, Ted & Brianna.

7. Doing well at work as a paralegal.
Now the negatives of my passion

8. I hate cynicism.

9. I hate sweeping generalizations (for example remarks like “all men are pigs”, “all politicians are corrupt” “all couples cheat”). Sweeping generalizations are such an exhibit of human stupidity, and I do know people who are convinced that all couples cheat (or as this one cynical woman would say “all men cheat”)

10. I can’t stand people who don’t listen to reason and who blindly, stubbornly cling to stupid, ill-informed views.

8 things I want to do before I die:

1. To buy a home of our own.

2. Go to Washington DC. and get a first-hand look at the institutions that I frequently read about. & getting a very good “dose of politics” :)!

3. Possibly hold a political office (I am an elected official, but want to go “further up the ladder”).

4. To be thought of as someone who tried to help and someone who made a difference.

5. To be thought of as someone who was a good father, and did a good job of preparing his kids for adulthood.

6. To feel just a little bitty ounce of financial security such that I won’t be petrified of retiring poor (like I do now).

7. To be in love again.

8. To use and listen often to an I-pod. (at the present time, I’m too poor).

8 things I often say:

1. “That’s so ‘gomer’ “ Gomer meaning something that’s backwards or poorly done or stupid.
2. “like” For example, I could say, “Like it’s so strange to say ‘like’ so much. You’d think I was like a Valley Girl.
3. I swear a lot so we won’t list those words, but I must confess that I do swear in front of my kids. (so much for being a good father?)
4. "I love that song."
5. "I need to get that CD."
6. "Why is she so tough on me??"
7. "This place is a mess…..& it’s partially my fault."
8. "I’m so happy to have my Chevy Cavalier back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

8 Things I've recently read/currently reading:

1. My beloved issues of The New Yorker.
2. A lot of medical bills and records for my job (part of my job is finding out how bad my clients are hurt in their respective car accidents).
3. State of Denial by Bob Woodward.
4. The Chicago Tribune and The Red Eye.

That’s definitely enough reading for one man, thank you, very much.

8 things I could listen to over and over:

1. The White Stripes (Currently, I am literally listening over and over again to DeStijl, White Blood Cells and Elephant.)
2. Led Zeppelin
3. Rolling Stones
4. Nirvana
5. “All Day and All of the Night” by the Kinks. That opening guitar riff is one of the most ferocious, the most righteous, most awe inspiring guitar riff EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
6. Nine Inch Nails (playing this band loud is a great way to vent anger)
7. Reggae
8. Certain songs by John Lennon which are wonderful to get stoned to (& they are “Strawberry Fields Forever”, “I’m the Walrus”, “#9 Dream”, “Baby You’re a Rich Man” “Cry Baby Cry” “Julia” “Sun King”) now, of course, I don’t listen to this group of songs over and over because I get stoned maybe once or twice a year. Yes, & I do it in a secluded spot & someone else is watching my kids, far, far away.

9. The Violent Femmes first album.

8 things that attract me to my best friends:

1. When they actually like me. Being appreciated and sincerely praised is a pretty nice feeling.
2. A good sense of humor.

3. A CALM PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Tolerance - we can be different if we respect our differences.

5. An effective and sometimes creative problem solver.
6. Shared interests and passions. (If I fell in love with a woman who loved History, was a liberal and loved the same rock n roll I did, I would worship the ground she walked on morning, noon and night!!!!!!)
7. Someone who loves my kids.
8. A great lover.

sometimes it's better not to do anything

As I noted before, the only problem with my car is that the thief stripped off the ignition guard. However, there's no problem putting the key into the ignition and turning the car on. Since I've learned it's important to make the car safer, I have gotten a steering wheel club and have the doors locked 100% of the time when no one is in the car.

The steering wheel club (for example, THE CLUB) basically sticks out so far that the club bangs into the windshield and stops the steering wheel from turning or it hits the part between passenger and driver so it stops the steering wheel from turning right.

I mention all this because I had an insurance adjustor come out and assess what's wrong with the car. His estimate said that the ignition needs to be replaced, the locks and cardoor handles need to be replaced. That I totally disagree with they only want the door locks replaced because if they change the ignition than they necessarily will change the carkey. If they change the carkey, they figure they better change the door locks so the carkey can, not only turn on the ignition, but open the car doors (like it can now). But that's total NONSENSE! If I have a key to open doors, a different key to turn the ignition and it would safe me over $300, then I would gladly do that than pay over $600 for changing the ignition and change the locks.

• So today, I go to the repair place that the insurance company directed me to. I said, "you can replace the ignition but I don't want you to change the locks or the rear cardoor handles" (why that has to be replaced remains a mystery)
• The manager said, "No, we have to do what the insurance adjustor's estimate says, we have to do everything".
• "Well, no, you're not going to do anything if that's the case", I replied. She said she understood and we ended the encounter amicably but it seems silly that they feel that they have to tak orders from the insurance company when I'm paying 100% of the repair bill.
• So, I have decided that since the car is working just as it did before it was stolen (except that the area around the ignition is not as uglier), then I will not take it anywhere. The cost of the car being stolen then will be around $40 which was the cost of taking a cab out to where the thief left it over at 11365 S. Western Ave. in Chicago. Yes, I am really lucky and got off very lightly for having my car stolen.

another funny conversation at work

In the following blog, I had to use bullet points because I can't get line breaks from using just the "ENTER" key. If you know of a less awkward way to create a line break, pleeeze let me know!

• I work at a personal injury law firm. Many of our clients are injured in car accidents in the Chicago area and in the northern 1/2 of Illinois.
  Here’s a conversation between my boss, Whitney, and me:
• W: Vince, are you working on the Arriaga discovery? (Discovery is fact-finding work done before a trial).
• Me: Yes, I know we got a 201k letter in that.
• W: Yeah, we received another bill.
• Me: Ok, can I get it?
• W: Yeah, it’s on my desk, don’t lose it.
  
• Don't lose it? What an insult! I walked into her office laughing. Maybe it should upset me but if that’s her attitude, I figure it’s her problem not mine. I just don’t care. She can get another clerk. Yesterday, I had another lawyer that had a crisis with getting a large group of documents to the opposing attorney. Who was going to solve his crises? ME!!!!! He was nearly apologizing that I had to do it because I'm not assigned to do his work.
• In a way, I'm kind of proud of myself because that type of remark would have really upset me a year ago or even 6 months ago. But now I say, "the hell with her"
• HA! HA! HA!

strange, interesting conversation

There's a woman who works at our law firm but in a different department. Today is payday. When I went to the bank and deposited my check, this woman (who I don't know that well at all) came up to me and gave me $40.

She said, "Vince, can you give this to Claribel? I am not going back to the law firm today."
I said, "Ok. I'm surprised and a little honored that you would trust me."
She replied, "I know where you work!" (basically a veiled threat if I don't give Claribel her $40)

Still surprised

When I get in my car now, I'm just like, "Wow, I'm driving my car again! I didn't think I'd see my Cavalier again, and I'm driving it!!" I really am not taking my car for granted. The adjustor confirmed what I suspected, and that is the only damage the car suffered was the problem with the ignition. This should cost about $300some which is a far, far, cry from spending $7,000 on another car. Now, I'm going to go to Pep Boys and buy the Club. The Club keeps a thief from steering the car if they try stealing it. They used to have a deal that they would pay you $500 if someone ever stole your car and foiled the Club. I hope they still have that deal. I feel the need for more protection.

I was talking about car thefts to other people on the train today, and one of them said their father was going into the store and made the mistake of leaving the engine running. Anyway, a guy who just committed armed robbery jumped into his car and left. Luckily, they found the car the next day.

somethings to think about

Did anyone catch the irony on the Google ad that accompanies my blog? I write about theft and they advertise for insurance. I think that's kind of funny.

Apparently, there's a very ancient Chinese curse that says, "May you live in interesting times." Now, on the face of it, living during interesting times would seem good (who would want to live in "boring times"??).

But it really is a curse, because difficult circumstances (like a car theft and the bizaar events accompanying it) are very interesting, but still unfortunate.

You could probably think of a lot of instances where something very interesting happened to you, but it wasn't necessarily "a good thing".

very, very strange (but that's ok)

I have my car.

Yeah, it surprises the hell out of me too. Circumstances are very strange. So, let's do this chronologically.

• Saturday - car is stolen. The thief strips the ignition guard off the car.
• Saturday night - the thief drives the car to 13165 S. Western Ave. The thief leaves a new packet (& it's still in the plastic wrap) Mentos on the floor of the car. He also has 2 other 1/2 eaten packs of candy. The thief really loves candy.

He gets out of the car and leaves the flashing lights on. He parks the car at an apartment for the elderly. (they even have a "Caution, elderly crossing at the intersection") An elderly lady, sees the flashing lights and calls the police. No one turns off the flashing lights and so the battery is run down.

• Later Saturday night - The police come out and then call me that they found the car at 113 St. & Western AVe. Later they call a tow truck.

• Sunday - the tow truck driver goes to where my car is. But he drives to the FRONT of the apartment bldg., he doesn't go to the back of the apt. building; therefore, he doesn't see the car. So he reports back that the car has been re-stolen.
• Saturday through Thursday - my car remains parked at the back of the elderly apartment building undisturbed.

• Thursday - The same elderly lady who called the police the first time, calls the police again and asks, "What are you going to do with that vehicle that has been here since Saturday?!?" The police have an officer come out, and he calls me at work to tell me that they found the car. This time they give me a specific address and they make clear that the car is in the BACK of the apt., not the FRONT! I am warned that I must inform the police in Oak Forest that my car is no longer stolen. If I don't let them know, the car will still be considered stolen. I was told that if the police stop me, I will be taken out of my car at gunpoint!
• Thursday afternoon - after getting the news from the police, I immediately go and get the car. I don't want anybody to get the car, tell me something false about the car as they did before, or mess up the car in any way. I spend nearly $40 on a taxi ride from the Loop part of Chicago to the very southern part of Chicago. (The next post will be about the very green taxi driver who drove me there). Lo and behold, I am reunited with my car!!! Before, I see it I refuse to assume I'll find it, because I don't want to get my hopes up.

To my disappointment, all 4 doors of the car are unlocked. The cop puts a report in the front of my car. The car doesn't start. I'm afraid the car will need to be towed and I'll have to spend more money.

I have a nice talk with the very helpful elderly lady. She tells me the whole story. I call AAA and get my car restarted. It feels so good and so odd to be driving my car. "Odd" because I never thought I'd see the car again!!!!!!!!!

• I go to the Oak Forest police station and show them that the car is no longer stolen. The policeman inspecting the car is someone I know who lives in my condo complex.
• My kids share my joy when they see my car. We eat the thief's Mentos. Remember, he never opened the pack up or even took it out of the plastic.

Many questions come from this:

• why didn't the thieves strip the car for parts and make a bunch of money off of it? I ask this because that's what car thieves usually do. I was told by the Oak Forest policeman that he was merely trying to get to Chicago and he figured stealing my car was the best way to do that. (Isn't there easier ways to get to Chicago than stealing a car??!?)
• Why didn't the police try and solve this theft and call me earlier than Thursday to tell me where the car was??

I am perplexed at these very strange circumstances, but very happy and very thankful. I dodged the very unhappy prospect of spending more than $7,000 on another car.

& it keeps getting worse..............

Most of yesterday, I spent trying to figure out how to get my car out of the car impoundment center run by the Chicago Police Dept. There were scads of documents to get: my car's registration papers, the title, papers I didn't even have. They said I could find out the status of the car if I gave 1 of 2 pieces of information: the license plate number or the last 6 numbers of the VIN # (for those who don't know, every single car that is produced, gets a VIN # imbedded into the car near the windshield and that's away to track the car, in general, and sometimes catch car thiefs, in particular).

When I gave the impoundment center my license plate, they said "No, there's no car here under that license plate number". So finally, I got the VIN #. Then the truth came out,

"oh sir, we were supposed to get that car but it never came. You see the police called for a tow truck to get the car on Saturday. When the tow truck came on Sunday (AFTER OVER 12 DAMN HOURS!!!), the car was not there. We suggest that you file a report with the police because the car is likely re-stolen."

Then, a called several places who gave me "The run around" about doing another report. Finally, I talked to a Chicago police officer that knew what he was doing. He said that since the car was never released from the impoundment the car's status was never changed on the central computer. The car is still considered "Stolen", so what's the point of filing another report?

Everybody who I tell this to never, ever heard of a car being re-stolen. Yeah, I didn't either! It blows everyone away. Even the police in Oak Forest P. D. were shocked when I told them the outcome.

So today, the insurance adjustor took my recorded statement over the phone. I mailed the Proof of Loss papers. The adjustor told me over the phone (she's in Oklahoma) that I would get compensated in about 2 weeks.

& what would happen if I found the car after it was declared permanently missing? I would sell it. That's assuming that it would not be able to be fixed or it would cost way over $1,200 to fix it. Then.....I would live happily ever after..............NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's bad again

I was so happy on Friday, February 22. I was seriously thinking about putting a mark on my calendar to indicate what a great day it was. Well, if I had done that, I would have had to put a mark on the next day, February 23, to indicate what a bad day it was.
I spent all of the day inside and rested because it was the weekend, I was off, I had nowhere to go and I stayed up late reading about 150 pages of the Clapton book I bought.

I didn't go outside until 6 pm. Ted was sick, Maribeth was watching him, so I volunteered to go the grocery store. Yet, I soon discovered as I was walking with Andy, my son, there was a very large problem. My car was not in the place where I parked. I checked the surrounding area (in utter disbelief, but it was not there either. So, I went back in the condo and told Maribeth and called the police. They got the information, and then I went to the grocery store and got the large number of things on her list. It took an hour.

I walked around the grocery store in a state of shock. Part of this whole problem was that I parked my car Friday night at 7 pm. & I didn't discover it had been stolen until the next day, about 22 hours later. So the theif had nearly an entire day's headstart to take the car whereever. It could be in another state by now! More likely, it's someplace getting stripped down and the theif is probably selling the car for parts rather than the total vehicle in 1 piece.

When I called the insurance company and made my claim, the intake woman was very sympathetic, very kind (my insurance is with Farmers Insurance). She observed, "You sound so sad, so defeated." Yes, that's a pretty accurrate portrayal.

What hurts the worst was that I was happy Friday, because I got money for my tax refund. If I pay the deductible for the loss of my car it will be $500. Therefore, over 70% of the refund would be used for replacing my damn CAR!!!!!
If the car is never found, I will get a check and have to go get another car which is also a shame because I had less than a year to pay this car off. This is yet another in a very, very long series of financial setbacks, and I'm not liking it at all, DAMNIT!
UPDATE:
The car was found by the Chicago Police Dept. Ironically, they found it an hour or 2 after I discovered it was stolen. The police dept. left a message with us, but Maribeth did not check her messages until late in the afternoon today. By the time, I discovered my car was robbed, the thieves were already done with it. It was found on the Southside of Chicago. It is undriveable because the car was hotwired and they had to cut into the steering column (I don't know exactly how hotwiring is done, but I'm guessing, basically). They hotwired it to start the car without keys and drive away from where I had it parked.
Now it's a matter of talking to my insurance claim adjustor, being directed as to which place will fix my car, paying the $500 deductible while the insurance pays the rest. Therefore if the total bill is $900, I'll pay $500 and the insurance will pay $400. If the bill is $1,600, I pay $500, the insurance pays $1,100. All sorts of questions come up. Where am I going to come up with $500? How long will it take to fix the car? Will the car ever be the same again? I very rarely needed to get the car repaired for anything will that be the case now after the thieves had fucked it up??
Part of the story is revealed while there is a lot left open. Like who the hell stole my damn car??????!!!???

Reading a very good book

I am a close follower of rock music and the blues and of course a longtime fan of Eric Clapton. I love his virtuosity as a guitar player (even though there's been times that he wanted to steer clear of that).

I like what he stands for insofar as he's been so down, so much so in his addiction to heroin, then alcohol, then cigarettes and he's beaten them all. He overcame the death of his only son, & finally, he has founded the Crossroads Centre to help drug addicts.

I ready his 330-page book in a few nights. The book wasn't great or outstanding (I wish that he had written more about Cream, how he came up with the songs, more about being and working with Jack Bruce), but it was still a very good book!

He is very vivid about the women in his life and the self-defeating addictions that he employed that doomed his relationships, espcially the relationship with Patti Boyd Harrison (the one who inspired many of his songs including "Layla", "Wonderful Tonight" "Your Friends are Tearing Us Apart" (which is from the August album which is pictured above) .

He is also very graphic in how he beat his addictions, and how he used the Lord to help overcome such terrible demons. From the 80s to 2007, I considered RUSH my favorite band. Of all the bands I have ever seen, I have seen Rush, by far the most, probably 5 or 6 times. I loved their intelligent lyrics, awesome guitar sound and have considered them a great group. Yet toward the end of last year, something was telling me that they really shouldn't be my favorite group. One reason was their last 2 CDs weren't that great. But the really big reason was that I liked the lyricist, Neil Peart's views against authoritarianism and opposition to dictatorship, but I became increasingly "turned off" to his atheistic views. There was something inside me saying that my favorite band shouldn't really be with one who is so open about their atheistic beliefs.

It took me awhile, but then it became obvious that Eric Clapton and his music was an obvious choice for being my "favorite". Further, Clapton has clearly shown that he is a big believer in God/Jesus, tho' like all of us he has strayed off the straight and narrow.

I also liked the book because of its happy ending. Currently, Eric is happily married and has 4 daughters (and an adult daughter by a different woman). If you like Eric Clapton, his music, I would definitely recommend reading his autobiography pictured above.

doing so much better

A few days ago, I was bemoaning my bad financial shape. It's still not that great, but I got a nice big lift this morning. I got my tax refund for over $800. Time to pay down some credit cards, steer way clear of overdrafts and maybe, just maybe something good will come out of this !!

Lunesta and the butterfly

Last fall, there seemed to be a lot of stress that I was going through, and I couldn't sleep. Taking over-the-counter medicine didn't really help that much. So, I went to my psychiatrist, and he prescribed me Lunesta. Lunesta is pretty effective, and I was able to sleep better.

There was 1 side effect my doctor didn't tell me until the next appointment.

"Vince, you're not taking that Lunesta everyday, are you? You could get addicted", he casually noted.

"Oh", I replied, "Well, I won't take it everyday now".

Which brings me to the butterfly. The company who makes Lunesta (whatever rich pharmaceutical corporation that is) has a big, BIG advertising budget. So when the Lunesta commercial comes on, you hear this soothing music with a butterfly shown above, symbolizing Lunesta, that swooshes around and spreads beautiful stars that puts everyone to sleep. OOPS, THERE'S ONE CATCH!

Do you see the butterfly on that person's nose as it gently puts them to sleep????? That's in the commercial. They don't show you the part where the butterfly climbs into their mouth, onto their tongue and takes a big dump. This brings me to Lunesta's other side effect.

When you take Lunesta, you get a metallic taste in your mouth. The sleep is great, but when you drink something like coffee, tea, milk (especially milk!!!), you don't taste milk or your desired beverage, you taste metal. It's kind of like licking a metal I-beam (not that I have ever done that!).

The good news is that I'm not addicted to Lunesta. How could I be with that tricky butterfly doing something bad on my tongue? So if you see any butterflies speading stars or looking like the ones in the picture KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!! (hee, hee)

Punched & down

I was paid on Tuesday. It was even a decent sized check with overtime money on there. The money is all spent. I wrote the amount of my check and then started deducting the bills from the deposit. A minute or 2 into all of the bill paying my balance got lower and lower, and I started breathing harder and harder, feeling very tense. THEN THUD! My balance was below zero(0) after the last bill was paid.

It was a thud all right, and I walked around like I was punched in the stomach. It seemed like all of the cost cutting wasn't worth it, nor was the hard work, and working at the law firm extra so I could get overtime pay. I know that I'm wrong writing that because if I hadn't earned overtime (or didn't even work at all) or didn't cut costs, things would be much worse. Yet, I live in a tony suburb where most of the residents are making more than I am and have nice houses. I still live in my small 2 bedroom condo with 3 kids. Then when I go to work 75% of the people do better than I.
However, walking to the train station and seeing all the homeless people begging money so I feel better, but still.................
After balancing the checkbook, all the energy I had left. I walked in one speed-SLOW. I felt like something was taken out of me, and it really hurt. There was no spring in my step as I usually feel pretty enthused when I work. I felt no optimism. The checkbook has been this way since I had to pay almost $1,000 in only a few months for 2 dental bills. & every effort was made to get the dental discount, pay on installments, and still it "blew up" my checking account. Things are slightly better, but there is still over $124 to pay yet. This whole ordeal made Christmas nerve-wracking, and I wasn't sure how we were going to get the money for gas going $200 miles to my parents place in Wisconsin. We had to go because Maribeth and I arrange 1 Christmas at her family, 1 Christmas with my family up in Wisconsin.
Things have been slightly better but the progress is slow and glacial. There's no guarantee that something could happen that would wipe out all the progress. I have checked out books that deal with debt management and they tell me things I already know (spend less). I have cut costs but the budget fight is a constant fight that has no end in sight....................

Difference between editing and censoring

J

One who blogs should not want to write a blog that exploits others or makes others look like idiots. I couldn’t imagine doing that. However, I am not going to be **“Mother Hen’d” into writing a vanilla blog devoid of homelife topics. After all, how much can the 26 ++readers take of US politics?? Especially when they get news, radio, TV and yes, the Web that has tons of politics in this very political year like 2008.
So, when 1 of the 26 readers confronts me with ideas of censorship when I think about her and her reaction while I write the blog, then I feel like I’ve done enough to protect her. I’m not going to be pushed around and censored. It’s not even like she’s my only reader or even my most loyal reader.

While the content of the blog was modified last month, there will be no more restricting subject matters or photos. If I can ride the Metra train to downtown Chicago (going to work in -1oF weather) and hear about a group of women, also riding on the train, loudly speak of autoeroticism in a pet cockatiel, then what’s so bad about what’s been written on this innocent blog so far????????????? It’s reasonable to say NO to anymore limits.

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** I couldn’t help but notice that there was a blog entitled “Mother Hen…” so to the writer of that blog, no offense to yours. When I think of Mother Hen, I define it as "openly domineering another". I understand that there are other definitions and other contexts of the term Mother Hen (as a verb).
++Lo & behold, the readership is growing from the 17 it was at the start of the year!! Oh and by the way, I love Jimmy Page's guitarwork (as noted previously in this blog), so in the midst of this consternation, I wanted to put some happy pictures on there. The other 2 pictures do not need anymore introduction as you dear readers already know them :)

Going to Wisconsin again

We went to see my parents in Wisconsin. It's a 200 mi. trip. We went tobaganning again. The picture is when the kids fell asleep in the car. We thought it made a nice "Kodak moment". The only little problem was that Brianna suffered a few abrasions below her left eye when she fell off the tobaggan and hit the snow with her face.

Otherwise we had a good time. They love visiting their grandparents. & of course, my parents love having them around (except when they make too much noise. Most 80 yr. olds don't enjoy loud noises from kids).

This morning in Wisconsin was -10 F. We got back to Oak Forest, IL at 8 pm; it's farther south (and a little warmer), and it was 0 F. It really sucks when it's so cold.

If anyone remembers The Who, the picture reminds of that picture of the band on the cover of their album The Kids Are Alright. & thank God, they are all right.

One other note, Maribeth's cellphone camera is far superior to mine. I'll have to use it more often because the one I have is a blurry mess.

he's human after all.......

The winning catch in the end zone in the last minute of the Super Bowl was made by none other than Plaxico Buress. You may recall that I called him a $%&(*&^% in one of my January posts. I didn't like Mr. Buress for awhile, and during the game, my son, Ted counted the number of times the Patriots defenders hit Buress hard.

Well, we know that he caught the pass easily, and Ted, my son, knowing that the game was over yelled "NOOOOOO!" and started keening and sobbing.

Then I saw something amazing in Plaxico Buress. Instead, of jumping around and gloating, jumping around and taunting the sidelines (as the jerk did against the Packers) this is what Plaxico Buress did: he knelt down & cried.

He didn't gloat when interviewed in the newspapers. He cried in the locker room too. So, seeing all this and reading it in the paper, I have changed my mind about Mr. Buress. He is human, after all. Then there's a more compelling reason:


one of the more important axioms in the Western World: it's hard to criticize success!!

don't be a MOTHER HEN!

I have 2 roles at the venerable Goldstein law firm that I work at. One is to be a paralegal which is basically doing whatever a lawyer can do, EXCEPT question witnesses at trial and depositions and I can't sign **Pleadings, **Motions or **Discovery.
The other is being the teacher to the law clerks. I work with them pretty closely the 1st week they are at the law firm, and after a week, they are on their own except for questions they may have about the work.
One of the clerks that is in her 9th or 10th day, was speaking to a client who suffered a car accident. The client was suspicious and didn't have caller ID, and so they gave her a very hard time. She handled the situation very well.

There were about 4 things that I wanted to tell her to make her phone call better.

But I only told her 1 of the things, the most important one.
There is such a thing as over-teaching and over-talking. I had just wrote her a long memo about another file we have. So, I am picking and choosing. The most important point is this: experience is the best teacher.
So no "too much talking, over teaching" & no mother henning the clerks!!!!


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**& remember this is a very user friendly blog complete with 21 readers {& I know who you are :) } So if you were curious about these 3 legal terms, I'll be more than happy to define them.

Super Bowl not happy for Ted

Well another one of my son's favorite teams is the New England Patriots. ("They have the greatest QB, no QB had as good a season as Tom Brady had!!!!", he's fond of saying. )

Poor, poor Teddy, he didn't just cry, he howled. His favorite team scores a dramatic touch down that puts them ahead 14-10, with 2 or 3 minutes to go. Yet, the Giants pulled it out in even more dramatic fashion. They score a touchdown with less than 60 seconds left and win 17-14.

The Patriots coach made a terrible decision not to try and score 3 points in the last half of the game, and it cost them dearly. If the Patriots had gotten the 3 points, the game ends at 17-17 and they go into Overtime. But no, he messed up BADLY.

The Patriots did not protect the quarterback, Tom Brady. This picture shows Tom Brady (he has the blue uniform) getting hit by the champion N.Y. Giants (in white uniforms) and slammed into the ground. He was driven to the ground by the Giants 5 times during the game which is a lot of times for such a good team as the Patriots. THE PATRIOTS WENT INTO THE GAME 18 wins, 0 LOSSES. Yesterday, their first loss of the season denied them the championship!!

youth, change, hope for warmth

It's been a long winter. Long nights.....short days, it's not always about how cold it is. The setting before 5 pm. is the worst part of winter to me. Global warming has made it so that we have had far fewer subzero days in the 90s and 00s than we had in the 70s and 80s. When I shave my beard, the prediction is that there will be warmer weather in 4 weeks. Not quite as bold as the famous groundhog yesterday (I don't know if other nations besides USA, observe Groundhog Day).

As, I did in the 80s and the 90s (starting in about 1985) I grow a beard in the winter and shave in the hopes of warmer weather and guaranteed long days!

The beard is marginally warmer. What I have always said was the 2 minutes I save shaving is spent on scraping snow off the car when I drive to the train station. I hate waking up early in the morning, the 1st 2 hours of the day are the most awkward, and the key is to get stronger as the day goes on (until about 9pm, anyway).

So, here's to a new look....... In a semi-new year...............

Different picture w/ beard on during the XMAS holiday. From upper left going clockwise, Me, Andy, Ted, my nephew Phil and Brianna.

"**a man HAS GOT TO KNOW his limitations"

**THE TITLE CAME FROM A MOVIE!! I'm not Plagiarizing; therefore, I am crediting the screenwriter(s) of 1 of the Dirty Harry movies from the 70s. It was one of the last line of the movie when a corrupt police chief was trying to turn the police force into a bunch of nasty, funky stormtroopers. Clint EAstwood's character, Harry Callahan, of course fights them and wins.

I'm a man who is about 1/2 way through 40 and 50. About the same age as Hermann Hesse's Steppenwolf. (Great book, you need to read it). I already did my mid life crisis, and no longer "slenderly know thyself" (credit to SHAKESPEARE, I won't plagiarize him either, $5 mailed to the person who knows that play)

So it's funny how my thought process has changed from my 20s. When I saw a woman who was attractive, back in the 1980s, it would brighten my whole afternoon. First, I imagined what she really looked like, then how we would get to know each other, maybe where we'd get married, and the nice conversations we had and other, certain experiences. pretty soon it was about 8pm!!

I could recognize an attractive woman, right away. Now let's fast forward 20 yrs. First, in your 40s, your carnal drive isn't nearly as strong as it used to be. Then it takes longer to recognize that someone is actually really attractive, and it doesn't register until I notice

Anyway, there is a well-established psychology that says that when one finds out that one is suffering a terminal illness, they go through certain stages; I believe they are about 4-7 stages and they go from shock, anger, grief, __________, __________, __________ to acceptance/resignation. Well, now when I see or work with a beautiful woman, my mind goes through 3 stages, happiness, chagrin, consolation.

Happiness – Instead of the happy glow that would take me several hours through the afternoon like it used to when I was 24, the happiness stage lasts only about 20 min. I’m so self-effacing now that I don’t even recognize an attractive woman until she starts speaking to me first.

Chagrin – Then I realize that the woman would severely reproach me because 1 of 2 situations would occur. She’s either much younger than me or in a different socio group (meaning? Too different mindset, too Republican, different class, someone I can’t relate too) I just don’t HAVE IT ANYMORE!

Consolation - I have an attractive, smart, driven domestic partner at home. At least, I have smart kids that look up to me. Then the one thing that hasn’t changed at all is the burning heat of conscience. I only “funkily carnal” before 1992 and in early 06’. In fact I always was bitten hard by the tiger’s teeth of conscience and never was seriously tempted with someone else from 92-2002 and after Nov., 2006. I dominated by God (and rightly so)!


Sometimes, guys and gals often wonder (starting in their 30s, “do I still ‘have it’???) I realize the answer is a resounding NO. I’m 44, just lost 30 lbs, but have about 30,40 lbs left to lose. I think about when I was separatetd/divorced in Midlothian an on the dating website Christian Mingle a/k/a http://www.relationships.com/ I was on there from Dec., 2005 to Nov. 2006 and in that whole time had one meaningful relationship. Was rejected far more than hearing the word “yes/ok”. & yes, I was on my best behavior, too!

Then I get a compliment out of nowhere and ask myself the “it” question again. Last October, I received a complement that absolutely shocks me. We had a clerk by the name of John from Arkansas. Like the other law clerks, he was in his mid 20s going to law school. He started in spring of 2007 and stopped in the fall of 2007. So we had a modest party at this swank hotel, 1st floor bar. WE were simply talking, John & I, and all of the sudden he says something like, “You’re so strong, you could throw me around like a rag doll.” & it wasn’t true; here he is a guy in his 20s just as big as I and ………..well………I am from the farm. ……………I still stay strong…Mr. Bender’s 1st password to me was “strong”……...the only time Maribeth overestimates me is my fighting ability………..NO, I STILL doubt I could take John in a fight. Maybe close but who the hell cares, anyhow???

I’m not George Clooney. Therefore, it’s Happiness -- Chagrin -- Consolation for me.