I am very sorry for being so vague in this post. I have to be vague in order to protect myself. There are more people who read this blog than I think (yes, I made a joke about having 19 readers but the truth is I don’t really know who reads it & who doesn’t. Obviously, you have readers on your blog who don’t comment).
There’s a person that’s not located in my hometown (I am not married, not divorced nor related to this person). This is a person I am upset with for making my life difficult. During the course of walking Monday through Friday, I have to walk where her location is. I find it so distasteful to see her that I alter my route now so that I don’t have to see her if she’s there. I am not comfortable with disliking this person so much, but she was wrong, and I really, really tried to get along with her to no avail. I tried to help her numerous times to help her, and it’s all been swept away into massive negativity.
Also, I was criticized for severing the relationship, and in so doing, I wouldn’t have to talk or deal with her. If it’s a dysfunctional relationship, why should I stay in it??? But I was criticized for my haste and blunt efforts. I guess I can see why I was wrong, but I hope that those who criticized me understand my perspective.
I guess the answer lies in forgiving this person to myself, silently. (we are so opposed to each other that if I said “I forgive you” it would result in another fight) But that’s hard. This area of my life means so much to me and for her to complicate and make miserable this area of my life, really makes me have absolute contempt for her. I don’t want to call her a name, I don’t want to yell at her. I just don’t want to see or hear her for a long time. But if that happens, I’ll tolerate it and keep going.
There’s a person that’s not located in my hometown (I am not married, not divorced nor related to this person). This is a person I am upset with for making my life difficult. During the course of walking Monday through Friday, I have to walk where her location is. I find it so distasteful to see her that I alter my route now so that I don’t have to see her if she’s there. I am not comfortable with disliking this person so much, but she was wrong, and I really, really tried to get along with her to no avail. I tried to help her numerous times to help her, and it’s all been swept away into massive negativity.
Also, I was criticized for severing the relationship, and in so doing, I wouldn’t have to talk or deal with her. If it’s a dysfunctional relationship, why should I stay in it??? But I was criticized for my haste and blunt efforts. I guess I can see why I was wrong, but I hope that those who criticized me understand my perspective.
I guess the answer lies in forgiving this person to myself, silently. (we are so opposed to each other that if I said “I forgive you” it would result in another fight) But that’s hard. This area of my life means so much to me and for her to complicate and make miserable this area of my life, really makes me have absolute contempt for her. I don’t want to call her a name, I don’t want to yell at her. I just don’t want to see or hear her for a long time. But if that happens, I’ll tolerate it and keep going.
2 comments:
I sympathise both with the difficulty of letting go of an unhealthy relationship and the dilemma of who reads your blog. I have several extended family members who read my blog and that can get tricky!
I've walked away from "friends" who were parasitie of otherwise poisonous. Not everyone understands, or sympathises, when you cut someone like that out of your life, but in my opinion you did the right thing. life is too short to fill your time with people who are just jamming your space with negativity.
Thanks for your very valid comments! I'm glad you commented not only for the additional insight but also because I was concerned that this post was kind of underwhelming and was seriously considering deleting it. Glad someone thought it important enough to comment on.
Post a Comment