Monday morning again, & I felt like crying. It didn't help that I lost my watch the day before and I felt like a fish out of water. Then I had to take the later train. Every little thing was bothering me. When I take the later train, there are 3 women I usually talk to and crowd into these 2 benches in the back of the train (facing each other) and the leg room is absolutely cramped and with my old, stiff knees, it's just a killer. Well, one of the women didn't show up, instead it was a guy. So my legs were meshed into his legs (again it's because the boothlike arrangement of the seats make it that way). I'm so glad that for the most guy this guy is either sleeping or acting like it doesn't bother him, because it certainly bothers me. It's like, "Please, man, I'm not gay, I just have absolutely no room." I know you all think that's ridiculous that I would think like that, but guys do think like that, we're different from women.
The weekend was nice and relaxing. It's so funny because the highlight wasn't going to a restaurant twice in the same weekend but laying down and taking a nap in the middle of the day and feeling really good after I woke up.
But even on the weekend there were problems. The NCAA basketball teams I bet on were disgraceful and lost decisively. I lost my watch & I still feel lost!!
The lowlight of the weekend was my verbal fight with Sal, our Handyman. Sal is a man of the streets. He got a girl pregnant when he was 14, he left home and stopped going to school shortly thereafter. It completely stands to reason that his way of thinking is completely different than my wife's way of thinking and my way of thinking. Even my kids can't believe he lives the way he does and disapprove.
So why in the world do we even hang around this man? Because we keep needing things fixed both at our place and at our condo. Also he needs us because he doesn't have a valid driver's license and needs to be taken places and most of all, he has no money, no person wants to hire someone with a checkered past. Yet, Sal is a very talented individual inspite of his very checkered past. This is a man who re-sided in a very expert, workmanlike manner my father in law's house . This is a man who took a mouse & rat infested house (again my father in law's house) and turned into a decent respectable place with nary a varmint and nice, hardwood floors. A place that could sell for over $200,000.
So basically, Sal needs us and we need Sal. Saturday, Sal really irritated me because I extended him a courtesy by telling him that I would be a certain place later on, and he took it as being bothered. I told him he wasn't being bothered and he damn well better mind his manners because I was damn sick and tired of him making stupid accusations against me. I had been nothing but nice to Sal since November of 2006, but my patience with him has absolutely come to an end.
So anyway, here I am feeling very sad at work and needing to get on with life. One adjustment I really must make is my management of my meds. When you have to take medication, you sometimes get the urge that you really don't need them that you're tough enough to withstand life without them. So during weekends I'll think, "If I'm taking time off of work, then I'll take time off of my other medicines." Then Monday hits me like a ton of bricks and there's no anti-depressants flowing through my blood stream. That's bad planning on my part.
So let's go and get on with the week!! & be smarter!!
3 comments:
SO many new posts in your blog. Where should I start? First of all, I'm sorry to hear about the problems you faced (or are facing?).
Unfortunately I know nothing about anti-depressants, but I've read a couple of bloggers' posts about this, so I understand that for some people, it may be necessary to take the pills for a period of time at least. Hope your mood gets better now. ;-D
I probably will be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life. Oh well, better than being unbearably sad.
Yeah, just do whatever is best for you and for everybody. :-))))
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