a couple of topics

I enjoy being in my new support group on depression. I enjoy an unexpected benefit. I have an e-mail account on Yahoo, and I hate all the stupid porn offers I get. Now, since I joined the group, I get alerts from the support group that someone is writing to me or responded to one of the things I said in a forum. I'm getting so many alerts that they are crowding out the porn offers. Which is really nice, because I hated the fact that those porn offers made up a majority of my e-mails. So I opened up my Yahoo e-mail this morning, and the alerts crowded out the porn offers, but one of the offers was better mannered than the rest of those offers. It's header was "Let's be friends with benefits". Usually the offers don't speak in code. I think we all know what "friends with benefits" means (& if you don't, I'll explain), back in LaCrosse they were called "friendly friends". So I deleted that offer as I do the rest of the porn.

I continue to be surprised about all the people on the support group that want to commit suicide. There sure is a lot of sadness/melancholy in the world! It also points out how many dysfunctional relationships people have with their parents, and how much sex abuse goes on. It's appalling! I'm really thankful that I grew up in a stable household.

Maribeth came up with the idea that we should make more money. We could use it. So she gave me a phone number to join a team of mystery shoppers. Here's what happens when you are a "mystery shopper".

1. you are told to go to a store, you may or may not have to buy something
2. you are instructed to evaluate the store for its cleanliness, friendliness of the employees in the store, helpfulness of the employees, how organized the products are, and other criteria.
3. after you leave the store, you write a report and get reimbursed for what you bought at the store and get an additional fee, anywhere from $5-30.

Sometimes, you can shop on line, then your criteria is a little different. There are some mystery shopper groups that are bogus, so I'm going to be very careful. It certainly would be nice to make a little more money.

Maribeth & I are volunteering to be pool attendants for the condo's swimming pool. By not paying for the pool attendants, the condo saves over $9,000. This year that saviings will be less because we had to repair the pool and instead of opening Memorial Day weekend, it opened up last week. Maribeth said she enjoyed doing that. Which made me happy because when she's happy, it seems like the whole family is happy.

problem solving/desperate people

Not sure if I mentioned, this but I have depression. I was diagnosed about 7 years ago. The approach I have used in the last 2-3 years is to go to a Dr. who prescribes me medicine for this illness. He basically manages my medicine, but I don't see him for counseling. Our sessions last only 10 min. and anyone who has ever been to counseling will tell you that 10 min. doesn't accomplish very much. Most sessions of counseling are either 1/2 hour or 1 hour.

Again, the arrangement works pretty well. But there are times when I'm really upset that I need to talk to someone or vent or express myself. Well, why not do that here? I have discussed problems that I have had. But, there is some editing going on. I equate talking about your problems or confiding to taking clothes off. If someone told you truthfully that last month they tried to commit suicide by swallowing razor blades, figuratively, they are standing before you naked. Now, I have never made an active attempt to take my own life, and I sure as hell won't be doing it with razor blades if I ever were. But still, I don't feel like being too revealing or being too naked on this website (again this is only an analogy, not something literal!!)

So I decided to join a group for those with depression.
It has been a very eye-opening experience. Can you believe that one of young adults in that group really did swallow razor blades because she was so wanting to commit suicide? What goes through a person's mind when they grab the first blade and place it in their mouth? I mean I have been down, but holy shit! Razor blades!
Another teenager heads a counseling group, and she feels so bad for some people in her group that she, herself, wanted to commit suicide. Gotta wonder about that arrangement.
Well, needless to say, this has been a very good group to belong to because it has given me a mega dose of perspective. & it has also been a place to vent but usually, I'm sitting there gob-smacked at some of the really tragic stories going on.

Expectations and frustrations

The Milwaukee Brewers have had the best record in baseball since the last part of May. Monday, they made a very bold, decisive move and traded for CC Sabbathia, an excellent pitcher from Cleveland (the one in the picture). What does this do? It creates excitement, optimism. There's a belief that this will be the first time since 1982, a damn lifetime that they'll go to the playoffs. The higher expectations lead to more disappointment when the Milwaukee Brewers lose. They lost last night 8-3 to Colorado. They lost to a team where the opposing pitcher hasn't won in 2 @$#@@%^& years!! They lost to a pitcher who has continued to play lousy. But the Brewer batters stunk so badk they made this pitcher look like an All Star.

It's become so hard for so long since the Brewers did well that some fans have a website call "Pee Your Pants for the Brewers!" 7,043 people have taken the pledge that if the Milwaukee Brewers make it to the playoffs for the 1st time in 26 years, they will go to their backyards and pee in their pants. The rules say you can't wear a swimsuit either. I'm not making this up. The URL is http://peeyourpantsforthebrewers.com/

Pretty crazy isn't it? But frustration, anxiety and "living and dying by your team" will make 7,043 people do crazy things. & I am absolutely safe to say that by the end of July the number of people will be nearly up to 7,100 people.

But everyone's underpants will be perfectly dry if the Brewers continue to play as bad as they did last night. Then they'll have to wait 27 or more years to make the playoffs.

Pictures & then some

It's summer, and we decided to put Brianna in ballet class. Here she is complete with her lovely little ballet uniform.

The same Sunday I met Geddy Lee (go a few posts back to read about that), we also went to Buckingham Fountain. The Fountain is another wonderful, touristy place in Chicago.

Last weekend in June, for the first time in many years, Maribeth, the kids and I went out of state (& not just to Wisconsin either) to Minnesota. We went to my nephew, Scott's wedding. Here is the lovely bride and groom, Jennifer & Scott. We stayed in a wonderful motel (which we hadn't all done since 2000). Luckily, my younger brother and his kids were all able to be at the same place at the same pool and have some fun. Kelly, my brother, & I played pool and it was nice to "shoot the breeze" some which is something we hadn't done together in a long time. Yes, I see him several times a year, but being together in a family setting and having fun poolside are 2 completely different things. Glad we were able to do the latter 2 weekends ago.

Here's a rather unfortunate mystery. Above are 2 firecrackers. As you can see, the fuse for each are roughly the same length. So why is it that when I lit 2 firecrackers very similar to those in the picture, 1 firecracker went 20 ft. and blew up (good) and the other son-of-a-bitch went only 6 inches and exploded next to my fingers and left my ears ringing (very, very bad).

Brianna's kindergarten graduation. Funny, they didn't have kindergarten graduations in the late 60s when I was going to school.

Today, we went to OakFest. OakFest is my city's 4th of July celebration. They have all sorts of festivities: amusement park rides, pro wrestling, pie-eating contests, rock music, and plenty of beer drinking. & Brianna got to ride a horse which she thoroughly enjoyed!

This picture says it all, the love between dog and co-owner: Maribeth with Faith.

My Imaginary Travels (I think I'm doing this right (?)

Insert picture of World here. You can find one on Amel's Realm which you can click on in the right side of my column. Sorry I didn't do that part of it but I'm at work, & I've been on too long already.

• ~Begin Copy~
  Rules :
• 1. Start Copy from "Begin Copy" until "End Copy".
• 2. Put your blog's name and url write in which continent you live, add the country you live in. Example : My Imaginary Travels (Netherlands)
• 3. Leave your url post in here and I'll add you to the Master List.
• 4. Please help spread this tag by tagging your friends as much as you can.
• 5. Don't play unfair! If you have more than 1 blog, you can participate all your blogs for this tag. BUT you will have to post this tag to all your blogs as well. So, please. Don't cheat!
• 6. Please come back again to copy the update of the master list, often. This process will help new participants to get the same gains as the first participants.
• 7. Don't forget to use the banner at your post, you can save as or you can just copy the code in here.
• Master List :
• A. Asia : 1. Moms... Check Nyo (Philippines) 2. Aeirin's Collections (Philippines) 3. Jenny and Belle(Philippines) 4. Hailey's Beats and Bits (Philippines) 5. your turn
• B. Australia : 1. your turnC. Afrika : 1. your turnD.
• North America : 1. Simple Life, Simply Me (USA) 2. Pinaymama's Diary (USA)
• 3. 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires (United States) 4. What Happened to Vince? www.vince-s-ithaca.blogspot.com
• F. Europe : 1. My Imaginary Travels (Netherlands) 2. Juliana's Site (Netherlands) 3. Picturing of Life (Netherlands) 4. Amel's Realm (Finland) 5. your turnG.
• Antarctica : 1. your turn NOT! NOW YOU KNOW DARN WELL YOU AREN'T GOING TO FIND ANYONE IN ANTARCTICA (How many scientists do you know???)
• ~ End Copy ~

Perspective

As much as I complain about things, there are some things that remind me that things could be worse. Yes, I know that sounds cliché also. We have a client that was in 3 car accidents between February to April of 2006. 3 of them! & the response is “why is she such a poor driver?” She wasn’t! The accidents were caused by the other drivers! How do I know that? I have the car accident report and the other drivers were given traffic tickets (arrests) for slamming into our client's vehicle.

It got worse for her. She had her teaching degree delayed as a result of missing so many days from student teaching. She suffered severe neck pain, bulged vertebrae discs, back injuries, knee injuries. She ended up going to over 30 different hospitals and clinic as a result of her 3 car accidents. The lawyer told me yesterday, that at this time, 2 yrs. after the accidents, she is still treating. I’m preparing written answers to opposing attorney’s written questions. Instead of it taking less than a day to answer the questions, it’s taking me about 3 days. With so many different treaters and clinics, I've had to read 100s of pages of medical records and bills.

Also, I want to write about my cousin, Brendan Scanlon (a/k/a Solve). Brendan was born in 1983. He went to college in Chicago as an artist and had a really good job at a marketing firm applying his artistic skills. He also was in a pretty big community of street artists and was very well known. Last Saturday, he got into an argument with another man about his age. He ended up being held down by 4 men and stabbed to death. My heart goes out to him for the horror that the last minutes of his life brought to him. I was really amazed at how well known my cousin was. There were so many people writing in that paid their respects, so many memories and good times he created with/for other people. It was just staggering. My heart also goes out to his family. His family was extremely close knit. In fact, their family and my family gets together each August, and we have a great time. I wasn’t really close to him and unfortunately, didn’t keep in touch with him. I saw him every year at these family gatherings. I remember a few years ago, giving him bottle rockets which I had a large supply of and wanted to give away. He was very happy to get them.
There are a few websites to check out regarding his very untimely death:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-graffiti-artist-killedjun16,0,4570734.story

http://www.madison.com/tct/news/291765

& there is an especially good one which shows you how many people paid respects to him from the Chicago street art community and shows you a picture of the memorial built for my cousin. My kids and I saw the memorial Monday evening.

http://www.flickr.com/groups/chicagostreetart/discuss/72157605605470754/

No matter how bad it is, someone else is having it worse.

Lesson LEARNED

Sunday was Father’s Day. It’s 1 day set aside during the year to honor fathers. My day was ruined when my dear mother of my kids thought I was sleeping and told her dad something I really didn’t want to hear.

It all started Sunday morning. There was a Father’s Day card sitting on top of Maribeth’s dresser. It was just sitting there for hours during the morning. Deep in the back of my mind, I felt that I shouldn’t open it until Maribeth presented it to me. But, I couldn’t wait. So I picked it up and opened it.

It really made me feel happy. It touched my heart. The card said, “Thank you for taking such good care of our family. You are loved and appreciated more than you know”. Amid all the differences that Maribeth and I had (we’re still divorced, after all) the message felt really sweet. It seemed like the work I've done with my kids was really, sincerely appreciated.

So, that morning, I told Maribeth how much I appreciated the card. She asked, “Really?” “Yes!” I replied. I felt like asking her if she really meant it, but that would have been wrong (until I learned what happened later!).

Then she took me to breakfast (McDonalds), and I enjoyed brunch with her and our 3 kids and 2 girlfriends of Brianna. Then we went to her Dad’s place. She bought her Dad ribs from the Patio. Then I reclined, and she thought I was sleeping. So she said to her Dad, “I actually got you a card, but Vince picked it up by mistake and thought it was his.”

Then while I was writing this post I was even more upset. Because if I even had the presence mind to read the whole card, I would have noticed that Maribeth signed my name to her dad’s card. But I was too stupid. That made me even more angry then I already felt.

This is one Father’s Day I would love to forget, but won’t be able to. But the lesson is learned: never pick up and open a card that isn’t presented to you.

After reading the very nice message in the other father's card, I'm also reminded of 2 other sayings/lessons: If you feel good, don't worry, you'll get over it. If it's too good to be true, it usually is. By the way, I asked Ted (my son) later in the afternoon, "Ted, how many Father's Day cards did you sign?"

"One" (the same one I "signed").

Lately, there's a song that I have enjoyed listening to. It's by Nine Inch Nails, and it's called "Every Day Is Exactly the Same". The chorus definitely fits my mood. For the lyrics, go to www.nin.com/with_teeth

a bit of instruction about the ads

as you know, I run Google ads on my blog.
Just a little bit of instruction. You will see ads on a wide variety of subjects like car anti-theft devices, the Milwaukee Brewers, and the Blues. When you see those ads, click onto them. It helps me out.
However, if you see the ad for "Barack Obama Exposed", do NOT click onto it. Give it the Finger.

Meeting a celebrity

To be honest, I did not want to put up a new post this soon. I wanted my leading post to be about Barack Obama for about a week. I was hoping to irritate at least a few conservatives and encourage a few liberals.

Then something happened Sunday, that I just had to report to all of you. I met Geddy Lee, the lead vocalist, great bass player and keyboardist for one of my favorite bands of all time, Rush. I was with my family at Millenium Park, the nice, touristy park off of Lake Michigan. We were sitting there and along came Geddy Lee who walked right in front of us with 2 older women and sat about 10 feet away from us. Then I wondered if I should even say anything to him at all. Once I realized that I should actually say something, my biggest emphasis was not to disrupt his good time. He wasn't there to be hounded by some goofy fan. No autographs, no taking pictures of me and Geddy (although my dear readers would deserve to see such photos, again, I wasn't going to put this man out while he was relaxing in Chicago).

So here's what I did. I watched him furtively. When he stopped talking (I didn't want to interrupt him while he was talking to the 2 women), I walked up to him and said, "Mr Lee?"
"Yes?"
"Hi, I just wanted to let you know I really enjoy your band's music"
"Thank you"
We shook hands. Then I walked away. For some reason, I just wasn't nervous. I still don't know why, but can only guess. I can't stop comparing it to meeting the famous Green Bay Packer, Jerry Kramer. When I was 10 yrs. old, I met this legendary offensive right guard, and when I got back to my seat, I was so awestruck my teeth were chattering. Meeting Geddy Lee was definitely a wonderful surprise, but I didn't even feel a fluttering heartbeat.

Quite frankly, I was happier with the way Maribeth reacted. We had been arguing before, because I told her before, that if we walked fast we would make the train and be able to go to church. She said no. She wasn't willing to walk fast or run. She didn't come to downtown Chicago to hurry, but to relax. We wouldn't be coming down there again for awhile. So there was no sense running to the train when the kids wanted to be at the park.

So after I met him, she had a big smile on her face. She must have said about 12 *+*times, "Now are you glad you didn't take the 4:30 train home??" She was just pleased as punch at the turn of events. She really felt vindicated. Seeing her so happy was a little like a beam of sunlight poking through the clouds, or hearing Geddy Lee singing "Dreamline" or "Tom Sawyer".

*+*Not an exaggeration!

This is what I believe

In my background part of my blog, I lightly touch on hoping that things go well in the 2008 election. It’s high time to discuss that vital subject area some more.

With Hilary Clinton now out of the race, I am going to state loudly and unequivocally that I truly hope that Barack Obama wins the U.S. Presidency on November 4, 2008 and frankly, the only person that’s going to beat Barack Obama is himself, not John McCain.
Why do I think that Obama is favored?
Very simple. When it comes to the issues, a majority of America agrees with Barack Obama.

Do a majority of Americans want American troops to stay the course and stay in Iraq?
HELL NO, AND NEITHER DOES SENATOR OBAMA!
Do a majority of Americans think that the economy is getting worse with prices high in gas and food, a nation too dependent on petroleum, and a nation too far in debt?
HELL YES AND SO DOES SENATOR OBAMA!
Does a majority of Americans think that the incompetent man holding the US presidency now has done a poor job as president? Did this same man come into office with a surplus and will retire (thankfully!!!!!!!!!) in January with a staggering deficit? Did this same man squander the good will of the rest of the world after 9/11/01 with his dreadful foreign policy? Did this same man say to the Iraqis “bring it on” to which these Iraqis did resulting in the deaths of over 4,000 American young men and women? Is this the worst president we have had since Warren Harding and can our nation do better?
HELL YES AND WE CAN DO BETTER WITH SENATOR OBAMA!

If a majority of Americans back Obama on the issues, how is he going to lose? Lots of ways, actually, but it will be because of poor, mistaken tactics leading to a disappointing loss, not because the Republicans have a better man.
Some conservatives like to talk about how Americans have, in the past, trusted Republicans more when it comes to foreign policy. That trust has led to ruin. We fight a war in Afghanistan with one hand tied behind its back, because we have to fight in Iraq. We aren’t any closer to apprehending Bin Laden fighting in Iraq. Republicans loved to talk about how Bill Clinton made the armed services weaker in his 8 years as president. Guess what most experts think of the armed services now compared to 2001?? THEY SAY WE ARE WEAKER!! Why? Because we are overextended and soldiers are on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th tour of duty in Iraq when they need to be in Afghanistan fighting terrorism. & get this, don’t trust my opinion, listen to the retired generals and admirals saying the very same thing!! There was a reason why Donald Rumsfeld had to quit after the Democrats crushed Republican in the congressional races (as they will this year). There’s a reason why even McCain thought Rumsfeld was the worst Secretary of Defense this nation ever had.

I know I’m a partisan Democrat, and I won’t hesitate to say that anyone who thinks that Senator Obama is “soft on terrorism” is a stupid, ignorant redneck. Senator Obama will take the resources wasted in Iraq and put them to better use in Afghanistan. Senator Obama knows that domestically there is still a lot of work to be done in making this nation safer from terrorists. Senator Obama will repair all the relations that Bush damaged with other nations (oh wait a minute, weren’t the Republicans better in foreign policy than Democrats?) so that the free world can wage a more effective war against those who believe in totalitarianism, growing heroin and oppression of women and take a much larger step towards and take a much larger step towards beating those terrorists.
But don’t take my word for it.

Listen and read the findings of the blue ribbon commission appointed by our current president regarding terrorism and 9/11/2001. The blue ribbon commission stated that one of the things the United States needs to do is sit down with our adversaries LIKE IRAN, because they stated that, “you don’t negotiate with friends, you negotiate with adversaries”. So all those people agreeing with John McCain about how terrible it is for Obama, as president, to talk to the Iranian leader, weren’t paying much attention to the blue ribbon commission of very well respected leaders (people like Lee Daniels, Republican, long time committee member and chairman of the House Foreign Relations, James Baker, Republican, chief of staff during the Reagan administration, Secretary of State during the better Bush’s presidency {that’s the father of the current presidential joke for those not reading the papers}). Don’t trust my words, listen to a couple of Republicans on the commission with brains!

Let’s say a few things about Hilary Clinton who made news today dropping out of the 2008 campaign. Senator Clinton wasn’t my first choice on who I wanted winning the presidency. I think she would make a very good president, but I think that too much of the country, especially too much of the South hates her, and wouldn’t vote for her. Newsweek magazine said it best that Republicans aren’t very united this year because they have a hard time uniting the evangelists and religious zealots of the party with the more moderate wing of the GOP. But if there was one person who could unite both factions together it was a Hillary Clinton candidacy for president. With her out of the picture, it won’t be quite so compelling nor detrimental (in the conservatives view) for some rednecks to stay home November 4. The election thumping that Republicans will get on November 4 in the congressional battles won’t be so difficult to stomach if it’s “President Obama” rather than “President Clinton”.
I truly hope that before or after Senator Obama heard the news of Hilary Clinton dropping out he looks in the mirror and says, “I’m going to run the best presidential campaign ever, because the only person who is going to beat me is myself!”

Oh & by the way, I would recommend NOT getting the book advertised in the above Google ad. The Real Obama or whatever the hell the title is, is fiction. It's probably written by some stupid bastard who will try to convince you that Obama is a Muslim.

interesting experience

On Satuday night, something happened to Maribeth & I that hasn't happened in about 13 years. There were no kids with us overnight. Better yet, we didn't even fight. Andy was at his grandpa's place in Tinley Park, Brianna was at her friend, Bella's place. Ted was at Nate's place. Nate and his family lives downstairs from us.

So what did we do? It began uneventfully doing things we loved doing. Maribeth watched Law and Order; I read my beloved New Yorker magazine with the White Stripes playing in the background. In the morning, we had an even nicer time.

How would I describe the whole experience? Nice and sedate, good "change of pace". I wonder if it will happen again this summer?

been busy (please wait)

I have been very busy at work. We have had new clerks in; they seem like a good group. The thing is that in addition to all the work I have to do, I teach them also. I really enjoy teaching new clerks, because I got my degree teaching high school social studies subjects (psych., sociology, poli sci., history, economics). The problem was there was such a glut of social studies teachers when I graduated that I never got to be a high school social studies teacher. I was only able to teach 2 yrs. in the Chicago Archdiocese school system and then didn't want to teach after that. But I have found ways to teach later. Teaching the new clerks is one example. They think they are bothering me when they ask me questions, but they really aren't. I always make it very clear to them that I welcome their questions and if they don't know about something, please ask!

It's been very busy. I have 2 new bosses and since one of my bosses left, I have to act like the attorney and keep moving his cases along. I am really happy with both bosses, especially Terry. There's no awkwardness, there's easy communication, no tenseness. The problem is that the other boss is leaving so then I'm going to have 2 sets of files (something like 40-60 cases!) that I'll have to move through discovery by myself. The hope is that our partner will hire another lawyer and transfer these same cases to the new lawyer or at least another lawyer.

Anyway, I gotta run, tons of work!

the Bad News Brewers

Because I was born and raised in the proud state of Wisconsin, there are 3 professional teams I root for. The Milwaukee Bucks, Green Bay Packers and Milwaukee Brewers. The Bucks have been an absolute disgusting disgrace for the past 2 years. They have been wholly incapable of playing defense since about 2001 or 2002.

The Packers had a very good season last year (13 wins, 3 losses, and a playoff victory before their loss in the NFC Championship game), but the conventional wisdom is that they will do worse next year with a Hall of Fame quarterback Brett Favre retired and gone.

Then there's the Milwaukee Brewers. There's good news but mostly bad news. The good news is that the Brewers are pretty talented. They have a guy Prince Fielder (yes, his first name is PRINCE) pictured on the left, who was the youngest guy to ever slam 50 home runs in a season. They have Ryan Braun who was the Rookie of the Year last season. They have a very good pitcher in Ben Sheets. Also, their defense is better than it was last season.

BAD NEWS I put this in bold and in caps because there's just so much of it. Let's turn a strength into a weakness.

• While Ryan Braun has made a home for himself in LF and is much better there than at 3rd Base, he has had a hitting slump.
• PRINCE Fielder is also in a hitting slump. Before the season started, he announced he would be a vegetarian, because he doesn't like the way people kill animals before they are turned into meat. Now, he has fans blaming (wrongfully) that is the reason he is not doing well this year. Rumor has it that people are starting to throw hamburgers and steaks at him.
• Their young, promising pitcher is out for the season because he ripped up his knee.
• The Brewers have lost their last 6 games.
• Their starting pitching, other than Sheets, is awful.
• Ben Sheets is brittle and injury prone. He's had season-ending injuries a majority of the seasons he's played.
• The Brewers have had 1 winning season in the last 10 years.
• With poor starting pitching, poor hitting, there isn't a snowball's chance in hell they will make the playoffs this year. & that was the announced goal by management. They said, "The Brewers must make the playoffs or it isn't a successful season." At this point they'll be lucky to win more games than they lose. For the Brewers to significantly improve they must have the pitchers (by last names) Parra, Bush, Suppan and Villanueva go from rotten to very good. Going from rotten to average will not be good enough to even have a winning season.
• Many people are calling for the manager's head. I have no idea if that will help or not.

I'm so mad at them. People were saying at the end of last year, "Don't be so mad that the Brewers didn't make the playoffs. They are so young and talented that you can wait until next year. " I just knew that was nonsense. All that youth, all that talent, all that hope and it's flushed down the toilet with all that under-achieving! UGH!

concern about Andy

I'm a little worried about my oldest child, Andy. He has been having stomach problems and had to leave school early on Tuesday and yesterday he also "got sick" and would have left but it was at the tail end of the school day, and he didn't miss anything.

I was concerned that it was something he was eating that didn't agree with him, but we have been avoiding foods that are hard to digest.

I'm hoping it's not been stress. Maribeth and I have been getting along pretty well, and I do know there was an instance either in the fall or winter where we had an argument and Andy got sick that same day. That doesn't speak well for the 2 of us, and yes, we should probably argue away from the kids. But I live with someone who is pretty open about what she says, and it's hard to coax into going someplace to argue.

But anyway, with Maribeth & I getting along lately, it's hard to figure out what's wrong with my son.

blue

I feel about as good as the weather which is rainy with gunmetal gray skies. (wait a minute isn't gunmetal gray predominately black? if you know, let me know. If it is than the sky isn't that dark, it would be nighttime if it was).
I feel crappy because some good people left our law firm. Brad, my boss, left. When he first announced that he gave his notice to quit, I ruefully said, "Well, thanks for leaving me with Joan!" (I changed the name of my remaining boss so that she stays "protected"). He replied, "Well, it's nothing personal" Yes, we know Brad. But it sucks seeing his empty chair. The thing I liked most about Brad was how unflappable he was. I could tell him that I made a mistake, and he was just so nonchalant, so "laid back" about it! I loved that. It really encourages a person to be very truthful because even when you admit something you did was wrong you aren't going to be punished or even made to feel bad. Brad never would do that unless the mistake was real bad like a blown deadline that would kill a case. & I never made mistakes like that with him.
We also had a clerk that was gone. I enjoyed working with him because he knew more about rock n' roll (it seemed) than I did. I miss all the fun conversations and he always was someone I could share things with, and commiserate with.
But, you know what? It's silly to get upset about people leaving because the turnover rate at law firms is very high. That's just the way it is, and I've been at quite a few of them. That's why I'm so thankful that I've stayed at this law firm for over 2 1/2 years. That seems like a short time anywhere else but it's relatively long at a law firm.

Another thing that really bothered me is that the bank really gave me a big hit for overdraft fees. Yes, I know that I have no one but myself to blame for that, but in one case it just defies logic. On Saturday, I mailed a credit card bill to Target located in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. That's in excess of 400 miles away, but my payment made it there in 1 day and was processed and sent to the bank the very same day! Now Target National Bank is a very big bank and you would think they would literally receive 1,000s of pieces of mail every day. So, I'm still scratching my head over how I mail something Saturday and it winds up getting there Monday and my check is immediately cashed. Had I known that would have happened I would have obviously would have waited until Monday to mail the bill. (I got paid on Tuesday, and I figured, at the time, that I had plenty of time to zip my check into the bank the same day and it would be able to beat the check to Target. But noooooooooooo...................

Oh well, the answer is to suck it up and keep going!
On a more positive note, my Mom's birthday is today. She's 82. I am very thankful I didn't have merely a good mother, but a great one. I will be buying Mother's Day cards for her and Maribeth. Even when we were separated, Maribeth & I would still get each other Mother's Day/Father's Day cards. I told her today that I planned to take her out for breakfast which is her favorite way to celebrate an occasion. She liked that idea a lot. To all you mothers who read this blog, Happy Mother's Day.

finally, it's SATURDAY!

I remember having a rough time getting up last Monday morning, and I said to myself, "I can't wait until Saturday when I can sleep in." Then every morning thereafter, when I wanted to go back to bed so badly after the alarm rang, I thought, "Wait 'til Saturday". Well, here it is Saturday. I didn't get to sleep in much longer than usual, because I got up at 7:20 as opposed to 6:45. I guess the celebration came after I got up. I got to read the paper in bed. I listened to NPR. I read a little bit of my New Yorker. So the "sleeping in" part wasn't so great because I didn't really sleep in, but the sense of not having to race to a train station to go to work, the sense of being so casual, the sense of being unshaven, unkept, in shorts and tank top (yes, I look terrible), was very nice and very pleasant.

What was really nice was that I made it a point to keep the phone lines open as Maribeth requested, but no one called which was nice. When I saw on the caller ID that there was a phone call from Firestone, I blew it off and didn't answer.

The highlight of the morning was hearing one of the popular programs on NPR called Car Talk, it comes on before the very popular show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me which is a quiz show focusing on people's knowledge of the past week's news events. I loved Car Talk because I hadn't listened to it in at least a year or so. I listened to it when I lived alone in Midlothian, but I haven't lived alone since the end of 2006.

Car Talk is a very good show made that way by the hosts, Tom & Ray Maglozzi (yes, they're brothers). They are very folksy, witty and the show can be listened to for its humor as much as the knowledge you get about fixing a car or finding out what the problem with your car is. Here's an example. The 1st caller was Christy of Washington, DC. Here's how the dialogue went.

Host: You're from Washington DC? Are you a lawyer, lobbyist or politician?

Christy: None of them, I'm a teacher.

Host: Teacher? Do you "reach" your kids?

C: Absolutely, yes!

H: What %age?

C: 100%.

H: Wow, sounds like a promoter more than a teacher.

After the humorous exchange, they finally get down to the problem. She loves her 1993 Honda Accord (& it has 270,000 miles), but there's a funny noise after she got a new clutch, & the noise occurs when she turns the car either right or left. They asked her if it makes the same noise when she is in idle and turns it right or left. She didn't know.

This is what surprised me: they told her to go out to the car at once and find out because that would help them diagnose the problem. They told her to keep her phone line open. So while she did that they took another caller a guy with a 1983 Volvo who lived in Malaysia. One of the hosts bragged that while his brother didn't know where Malaysia was, he did because he worked in the CIA. (OK that wasn't so funny but it seemed to be at the time; you had to be there, ok?)

After the guy was finishing up the car, he told the hosts how much he enjoyed Car Talk.

"It has kept me sane being so far from home"

Host: Well that's good because the show is driving us crazy!!!

So, the woman with the 93 Honda Accord came back after the call and after some discussion they came up in very expert fashion of what her problem was. Then a man came on the air with a car he has had for 20 years (man do they ever take a call from a car literally built this century???!?)

It was a problem with his front end. They asked what's the longest he drove the car and he said 400 miles. Then they chided him because he took such a big risk. The problem was a metal bearing connected to the wheel. They told him that it was breaking and if it broke completely off, he would smash into something. They told him to drive his car slowly to the car mechanic at once. But before he drove there, make sure that his life insurance was paid up and "all of his affairs were in order!"

To really appreciate the show, you would obviously have to listen to the show.

But I am enjoying my Saturday. I am hoping that this weekend is the 1st weekend I get to ride my bike and burn off a few calories in my fight against my fatness. I have lost 30 pounds.

You ever notice how much better complements are when it comes from family?? Well, when I was home last, my brother, Jerome, told me how much better I looked, and that he noticed I lost weight. I felt like I was handed $200. & from a guy who has to watch every dollar and is scrimping, saving and not taking a vacation in about 15 years ago, $200 would feel very, very good. Then I thought to myself, gee, I wonder if Bob (another brother, nicknamed good-naturedly "the Golden Schauf" since he has done so well and is prosperous {& yes, Bob, we know it was a result of hard work}) would ever make such an observation to me. Probably not, he would focus on the fact that I still need to lose at least another 50 pounds. That's ok, everyone needs a critic. Think of what a good critic our Lord is.

Yipee! I'm done!

In my pursuit to balance out happy posts with sad posts, I wanted to write about something that made me very, very relieved.

At the place I work, I am happy, because I finished a big project by myself. I've been much busier, because the clerk staff is cut in half (from 6 people to 3). So with 3 people, I have been doing clerks' projects that would have normally gone to the 3 clerks who just left. (They left due to finals and they are in their last semester of law school).

The big project was very worrisome, because I was concerned that I wasn't going to be able to finish it by deadline. There were probably thousands of pages I had to look through (albeit some of it was skimming). I am concerned about our client because he was badly hurt in forklift accident. He hasn't worked since the accident which was a long time ago.

Could you imagine not working for a long time, sitting around not be able to lift over 30 pounds due to a severe back injury? It makes you think you're lucky, doesn't it?? Sometimes I envy construction workers because their earning potential is high, but the problem is that they get hurt at work. The chances of a major injury happening where I work are very, very low. So, I guess I made the right choice in the field of work.

sometimes......

Sometimes the ads in Google do not necessarily correspond with my beliefs. For instance, the End of the World could happen anytime, but I am not one of those people who are absolutely certain that it's going to happen in my lifetime. It could but I'm not going to go around saying you better get ready b/c it's going to happen. Really, we should be good anyway. It's far more likely that a person could die an untimely death than the Apocalypse occurring tomorrow.

• Just to reiterate: I do believe in the Apocalypse.
• I don't know when it will happen
• Might happen in my lifetime but not sure it will (not like some people).

Are we clear? OK

not sure what to do

I am very sorry for being so vague in this post. I have to be vague in order to protect myself. There are more people who read this blog than I think (yes, I made a joke about having 19 readers but the truth is I don’t really know who reads it & who doesn’t. Obviously, you have readers on your blog who don’t comment).

There’s a person that’s not located in my hometown (I am not married, not divorced nor related to this person). This is a person I am upset with for making my life difficult. During the course of walking Monday through Friday, I have to walk where her location is. I find it so distasteful to see her that I alter my route now so that I don’t have to see her if she’s there. I am not comfortable with disliking this person so much, but she was wrong, and I really, really tried to get along with her to no avail. I tried to help her numerous times to help her, and it’s all been swept away into massive negativity.
Also, I was criticized for severing the relationship, and in so doing, I wouldn’t have to talk or deal with her. If it’s a dysfunctional relationship, why should I stay in it??? But I was criticized for my haste and blunt efforts. I guess I can see why I was wrong, but I hope that those who criticized me understand my perspective.

I guess the answer lies in forgiving this person to myself, silently. (we are so opposed to each other that if I said “I forgive you” it would result in another fight) But that’s hard. This area of my life means so much to me and for her to complicate and make miserable this area of my life, really makes me have absolute contempt for her. I don’t want to call her a name, I don’t want to yell at her. I just don’t want to see or hear her for a long time. But if that happens, I’ll tolerate it and keep going.

Think about it

There's a book that I absolutely love reading called Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse. I don't know if any of you have read it. Part of me strongly recommends reading it, but you have to have a very high tolerance for unconventional thinking. The pattern of the novel is that it starts out with a narrative of events occurring to the author and as the novel progresses there are more and more "dreamed up", surreal events and fewer actual events that the author is really experiencing.

One of the 1st things that is dreamed up is that the main person in the book, Harry Haller, is walking down the street. As he walks down the sidewalk someone comes up to him and gives him a book and walks away from him. He doesn't look at the book right away. Instead he takes the book to his rented home and finds out to his amazement that the book is actually all about him! The book gives a brief description of him and quickly delves into what his problems are. The book (actually a short story or treatise) offers some suggestions and also discusses some unconventional views on suicide and humor.

Here's my point. What if you were walking down the street and accepted a book from someone, and it turns out the short story/treatise is about you and the problems and illusions that are hurting you and your life. What would your book say? Would it be a very thin 4 page affair because you are a remarkably well-adjusted individual? Or, would your author have a lot to write about?? Hmm.............