Does a son or daughter not love one or both of their parents? Isn't it possible that there's an immature but sometimes intense love for someone, for 2 kids to love each other?
When I was in middle school and high school, maybe even earlier than that, I was in the same classes as this girl. We went to the same CCD; we went to the same church sometimes. It was pretty amazing.....some weeks I would see her every day of the week - 5 days of school, CCD on Saturday & Church on Sunday. She was not only nice looking, but she had a great personality. She was very athletic starter in 3 sports, was editor of the Annual Staff, was on the Forensics team with me where we both made history at our high school for being the 1st 2 people in Forensics to compete at State level all 4 years of high school.
We spent a lot of time together. We had some good talks. & at certain points of middle school (even earlier than middle school) and high school, I was in love with her. I wasn't obnoxious about it, when she had boyfriends, I didn't try to steal her away, but she knew what I thought about her. She didn't feel the same way. Oh well.
It worked out for the best. I didn't get along with 1 of her older sisters. As nice as my friend was, that's how taciturn, haughty and mean her sister was. That would have been a problem had we dated or hypothetically gotten serious. Years later, when I wrote all these reasons down of why I was glad I married my ex (years and years before the divorce, of course!) one of the 1st reasons I was glad to be with my wife was that I had a great relationship with her sister. Her sister was ALWAYS nice to me, and we never had any problems.
My old friend from decades past not only had a not-so-great sister, but an obnoxious, smart-alec cousin who people nicknamed "Smiley". He was one of those jerks that acted the same way after high school as he did during high school. So, years after we both graduated high school he would STILL remind me that I loved his cousin. I swore after that if I ever saw him again, I would punch him in the face repeatedly if he ever brought up the subject again. I was a bigger than him & had experience in fights in my 20s even though he was older than me. But that was just it, in high school, he was 3 yrs. older than me and could domineer and talk crap to me. I wanted the opportunity to really show him how much times changed.
But with more age, and more wisdom, I stopped thinking that way, and decided fighting him wouldn't prove much. It's probably not even the best way to tell him as clear as possible "DON'T DO THAT!" which would have been the whole purpose of hitting him.
So many things happened after graduating high school:.........graduating college, figuring out my career, getting married, being the father of 3 kids, reconnecting with old friends from high school on Facebook, going through cancer and still fighting depression.....
Here's a big irony. In 1990, my best friend, Frank died. In fact, it was 25 years ago on August 15 ! The irony is that I saw Frank more recently, than the last time I saw my first love which was just under 30 yrs ago. She didn't join Facebook; we didn't reconnect.
That's fine; that's her perogative. One thing I was curious about was.....if we hadn't seen each other in 30 years, did she look different. Did she look a lot different??
So, early this summer, I went to Google Images and looked her up. Wow, there she was. I saw pictures of her as recent as 5 years ago. Yes, she changed; just like we all changed. You knew what blew me away?? It wasn't even her; it was her husband. I couldn't believe how little he changed. He just added a mustache since I last saw him, and that's it ! He looks young !
This old friend & I were friends; we were never, ever lovers. The relationship affected the way I approached women thereafter. I would be nice to women, and I had lots of women over the years who were friends of mine. It certainly affected college. Her reaction to me being in love with her & what happened between us affected my approach, b/c I was bound and determined never again to be so overt or to never, ever "chase" a woman. I just figured chasing would never win the woman over, and would just lead to heartache. I never wanted to feel bad again (but I did in 2002 & 2003, & I already told that story). It made the time in college really bereft of girlfriends; sometimes you have to "apply yourself", use some charm. There was only 1 person I could really say was my girlfriend in college and even that didn't seem to go very far.
It was all for the best. She married a good guy. I wasn't ready to be married in my 20s. I had to get more mature and less callow. I had to work on my manners. I developed job skills and became an excellent paralegal.
Best of all, I fell in love with my truelove in 2010. Being in a loving relationship has been taken care of ever since........
that's not us back then, by the way. I only kissed her once, and that was at the end of our high school graduation when graduates come together and say goodbye
2 comments:
I remember being 14 and every time I saw this guy, who became my first boyfriend, I had enormous butterflies in my belly. I mistook that for love.
I'm glad you found your true love.
Interesting topic. I never had a real life boyfriend. I've only had two boyfriends and both of them were online pals (the second is my current hubby). I guess back then it was rare to have boyfriends in Junior High School and in High School only the cool kids had boyfriends/girlfriends. And I was close with a group of friends who ended up having boyfriends much later in life (most of them got married to their first boyfriends).
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