I went to a party

I don't go to parties too often.   Most of the time, I think it costs too much, and I'm spending money I don't have.The other thing is my friends don't throw parties; they're about my age and people in their 50s don't have weddings and don't party like it's "1999".     But, there was a very nice guy in my club that invited me and his friends, neighbors, a musician, a band (!!) and about 100 people.  So, this afternoon, I went eager for a good time.
I had a very good time.   I was smiling, the food was good, my girlfriend was at my side happy, too.
At the end of the party, the host actually played with a very good band he hired to play at his party. (Host is the 3rd from left from the 4 you see)

 There was a guy that I know and spent some time with who attended.  He's actually the cousin of the host. We'll call him Karl. Karl has a "song & dance" about how he was once rich but got screwed out of money and was conned & lost 90% of it.  In actuality, he doesn't work except very sporadically.  He's just turned 50 and STILL lives w/ his parents.  I said he works sporadically, NEVER a steady job.  Here's one example.  He was hired to be a baseball UMPIRE in a league.  You know why he stopped umpiring ?  He was told to stop umpiring b/c he was seducing women right in the middle of the damn game !! No kidding.  I think what happened was it was a co-ed league, and he would either be talking all this stuff to a female catcher or female batter  and then call balls & strikes !  Can you imagine?  Unreal !   He also collects aluminum cans, but obviously if you aren't doing that on a massive scale & he ISN'T, you make pennies per week.....LITERALLY
Oh, and he also gambles.  He's actually lost tons of money gambling at slot machines in a matter of hours. He actually told my kids once that his job was gambling & then he makes money.  Thank God they were smart enough to know that was wrong.
He got up and sang 3 songs while the band was on break.  To his credit, he sounded good. He can carry a tune.....oh bummer,....most singers (especially the ones singing in the shower or to the radio in their cars) don't make much, if any, $$.
Keith had a girlfriend that was with him.  She clearly liked him for his sense of humor.  I've seen many women fall for guys who were funny.  About a decade ago, there was a co-worker who ticks off about 9 faults her date had. So, I'm like, "Annie, why do you go out with him??????"
"HE'S FUNNY !!!!"
"Oh ok.....I guess I'll go back to work.  Hope it all works out for you, Annie"
So, there she was tonight.......Keith's girlfriend Jane.  Very nice looking....she made me think of the lyric "sweet, sweet Jane!".  What's going to happen to Jane? What's going to happen to Karl & Jane???  Karl had an on-again, off-again relationship with another woman.  You know why it ended?  She logically got very tired of seeing Karl lose $100s and $100s  week after week and wondering what he should do, and hitting her up for money when they went out to eat.  She was a nice person.  She worked not far from where I once worked as a legal secretary.
Jane is a nice person, too.  Karl is nice, but so behind, so unbelievably Immature, asks such stupid sophomoric ?s like a 12 year old would making a stupid adolescent attempt to be funny.  He got my girlfriend very pissed off, because he had the nerve to ask her about our sex life and how often we kiss.  But sweet, sweet Jane is right.  Karl is funny.  She already knows he gambles but apparently (and this is early in the relationship) she saw him make money.  He would make money if he pulled the handle at the right time.  So 2 weeks ago, she prompted him when to pull the lever, and he repeatedly won.  Yipee.  Karl triumphantly called her "my GOOD LUCK CHARM !!!!"   We all should be happy for Karl and sweet, sweet Jane (the hard working medical assistant that takes care of Alzheimer patients).  Ummmmm, ooooops  Karl and Jane had to admit that last night, she was with him and he  gambled  and lost money. More of that to come, Honey.

Jane is a good person, she's only a few years younger than me and still very nice looking.  She takes care of the mentally ill, Alzheimers patients, autistic kids & young adults.  & when they get upset with most of the workers at her medical center, they don't get mad at Sweet Jane, b/c SHE takes the time to listen and understand and empathize with them?    She's going to be REQUIRED to show a lot of empathy with Karl.
She walked up to me later during the party to say goodbye.  She said it was nice meeting me, and she hoped to see me soon.

Oh really??? Me??? Your kidding, aren't you (I silently thought) ??  Yeah, I got some issues too.  While I'm throwing rocks, criticizing Karl, I better think about how I could improve.  Here I was at this very happy party and when I walked into our host's really awesome house, I felt the happiness melt away like hot butter.  He had this wonderful huge house based on a thriving craftsman business, and here I am with just a paralegal career.  Yes, I like helping people, but it's slowly swallowing most of my life each and every day.  If I'm not drowning in work, I'm away from work thinking about how odious the place; now that's an exaggeration, but I do spend too much time thinking about that law firm away from work !  So, I walked out of my host's palace, & I brood about how I should send more resumes out and get a better job.
Then I correctly, figuratively kicked myself. What the hell am I supposed to do?? Whip out my damn smartphone and send out the resumes from there? Ask to borrow the host's fuckin desktop computer??   What happened to all the tried and true wisdom about living in the moment.  What the hell am I doing all pensive & feeling bad about a palacelike house among a group of happy people at a happy party????

So, I stopped. It's a party, listen to the band play rock n roll, enjoy the music, don't worry about sweet, sweet Jane, don't scorn Karl,
Stopping being depressed over a troublesome future.
Start being thankful for your good, well-meaning kids, start being blissful for being with an awesome girlfriend.
Take her by the hand and sing along to the lyrics the band is playing, because after all, you like the song and know the words ! 
Well, I did some of that, not all,  I'm not quire light enough and a little too Dark to feel blissful at a fun, happy party.
But when it was over, I walked over to the host and gave a very heartfelt, sincere, "Thank you" for inviting me to such a nice, posh party.  That doesn't happen very often. Ummmmm when was the last time I was at a fun, posh party???.......ummm about 8 years ago.  Oh, yeah, you damn well better thank the host !!

Well, I left the party with my girlfriend.  Patricia thanked me for taking her.  OMG, Dear !! I wouldn't have it any other way !!!! My God, you are 1 of only about 10 people that keep me going and make me happy!!!!  & your thanking me??