Oh the irony!!!

 

NO words to say!!!  No, wait, am I wrong to say, "I wish he were dead!"  ??
Discuss what's next for this nation!

Daughter breaks up with Patriot

anything considered true IS NOT, BUT PURELY COINCIDENTAL!

 John had a terrible problem with his daughter, Violet.  John and Deb always envisioned that their kids would grow up to be gainfully employed, mature adults.  That worked out well with their 2 sons.  One worked at a factory, and the other had his degree and worked at home for a computer software company.  The only thing Anthony complained about was that the rest of them were too damn loud along with their odious, relentlessly-barking pit bull.  How many times he boomed out from the basement, "I'm helping write software!!"  no one knew, but it was about 600 times in Violet's fateful 1st semester.  

Violet decided to piss off her parents in a number of ways.  While they fell in love in '92 helping, in a very small way, get Bill Clinton elected president, Violet defiantly announced in October that she would be voting for Trump along w/ the Reds.  

"Oh, John!  If she is in the Reds did she join an offshoot of the gang in Los Angeles?  What if she gets shot by the Crips?"  she cried. 

John quietly assured that she was off the mark.  Little did her daughter know, but John had been employing one of her friends.  In the smallest office in the only large office building in town, John gave Violet's friend, Lori, $15 an hour on his internet business.  

John explained to his wife, that 1 night, Violet decided to stay overnight at Lori's house.  Violet explained that there was this splinter group away from the Will County Young Republicans.  They called themselves the Reds.  Violet had smiled to Lori and drunkenly announced that she was the girlfriend to the leader of the Reds, Geoff!

"Oh my God!" Deb exclaimed, "who is this, 'Geoff,' that you speak of?" 

John took a deep breath; he calmly said, "it gets worse Deb.  He quietly told her that Geoff led the Reds.  They were a group of 30 of them.  They had 6 former gang members.  Geoff and the gang members held parties, at 5-10 members homes.  Most of the ones hosting the parties weren't even in college but sold drugs. They would go downtown while the bars were still open and outdoors.  They came with their t-shirts or coats emblazoned REDS. They smoked by the bars and if anyone asked if they were "Commies" a few of the Reds would beat the living shit out of the person for calling them that.

Lori told John all this during the work lunch. "It gets worse, Deb," Lori then explained that Violet told her that if the hapless victim had friends then Geoff and the former gang members would descend on the group and pounded them into submission.  Then they ran and hid in 1 of their cars. When it was quiet and the red lights were gone, they drove home, drank and partied more.

Deb lowered her voice, "is our daughter sleeping with this Geoff?"

"Yeah, Deb, it gets worse." He explained that when Lori and Violet were drinking at Lori's mother's house, Violet told her about the second time she met with the other Reds. Geoff singled out their daughter.  He was his most charming self.  He told her that he was on the baseball team.  He even knew her before, because he would go to her high school's softball game and watch her play first base.

As Violet told Lori her drunken story, she smiled in a daze and said, "Do you know when I really fell in love with Geoff?"
"No, when?" asked Lori. 
"When he gave a blow by blow account of when I hit a 3-run homer to beat Lemont.  I hit a 3-run fuckin' home run in the last inning.  Then, in the last half of the inning, in Lemont, I did my own double play, caught a bullet and tagged the runner going to second base!!" recounted Violet. 
"Wow!!" 
"Do you know what?" Violet started to cry in Lori's bedroom. "He kept talking and knew all the names of the ones who gave me high 5s, and even Jenny who gave me a big kiss after the game!"   

When Geoff recounted her favorite high school moment, he took her back to his place.  He had his own apartment.  He explained during the day he went to their college.  To her surprise, he still sold marijuana in Illinois.  Even though it was legal in Illinois, Geoff was able to undercut the legal dispensaries who almost never sold pot in increments of $30 or less.  Geoff explained that Illinois loves their taxes and charged the dispensaries a steep price in sales tax.  He informed her that he had a clientele of over 50 regulars selling cheaper pot.  
"Then what?" asked Lori. 
"Well that asshole spiked my wine. Next I know,  I woke up at 2am. He was eating me out and there was a used condom was by my hips.  I figured, well, he can't be all bad if he eats me out well and uses a condom.  Wow, what an orgasm that was a few seconds later!" laughed Violet as the 2 young women laughed and fell on the floor in their drunken awkwardness.
"Well, that's terrible!"
"You're just jealous, Lori.  No, really, I mean I was negative on the pregnancy test.  Got checked out for all kind of venereal diseases including HIV at the campus healthcare, and I was clean as a whistle. That's true love when your boyfriend is looking out after you, Lori."

John told his wife all this. Deb was sobbing by now and tearfully asked, "is that...is that w-w-w-why you got in that big argument about Trump versus Biden on her 19th birthday?" 
"Yep," replied John stoically, "that was the worst October 15th of my life!  Deb, I gave Violet a bribe; tomorrow, we are going to meet the fearless leader, Geoff!"
"How much did you give her?"
"A hundred dollars."
"You IDIOT, JOHN!!!!"  Deb shrieked.  "Do you realize that she probably used that money to buy drugs wholesale for her damn boyfriend?!?  Did you not see how quiet Violet has been lately?  I haven't been able to say 'jack' as she marches to her bedroom and won't talk to me!!" Deb's face was still red from crying, but now her face turned to beet-red rage, and she slapped John across the face.  
"Sorry, Deb."
"You should be, Asshole!!" she yelled.   
"Well, at least Biden won," John mused. 
"Just shut the fuck up, John!!" her voice settled lower into a cold. harsh menace. 

"You know, Deb, I think I forgot something at the office," he left their house quickly. 

PART II

 John awoke at 9:30 am and wasn't surprised that Deb wasn't beside him.  He found her in the kitchen mopping the floor.  "How long have you been up?" 

"4:30, I asked you to help me before 7, but you didn't budge," she hissed in reproach.

"Well, it's hard to move when you're asleep."

"Take the garbage out!"

An hour later, they heard a loud Ford Mustang drive and park outside the house.  Violet and a tall, unshaven, well-muscled male walked behind her.  Geoff looked as uneasy about meeting her family as John's look at him.

Violet introduced him and said, "Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Geoff.  Geoff, this is my mom and dad."  John reached his hand out to him as he had shook hands after an introduction so many times before.  

Geoff shrunk back, "Don't forget about COVID, John.

"Wow," smiled John with a trace of sarcasm, "we're already on a first-name basis!" Deb forced a laugh as Geoff and Violet wanly smiled.

"Would you two like something to eat or drink?" offered Deb.

"No, Mom.  We are going to a meeting," asserted Violet.

"What kind of meeting?" Deb and John asked.

"Do you have to ask so many questions?" Violet defensively replied.

"Well, maybe I want to go," John mockingly answered back.

"No!" answered Violet and Geoff.

"You gotta love a couple who think so much alike, you speak in unison," John observed patronizingly. 

"Wait! You just got here, Violet," Deb pleaded.

"We're not late for anything, especially a Reds Meeting," Geoff replied.

"A Reds meeting?" they both asked. John shot Deb a smile with a "here we go again" look.

"Um, we'll see you later, Mom and Dad," mumbled Violet and Geoff as they nearly ran out the door. 

Deb and John looked at the door for a long time.  John put his arm around Deb, and she put her arms around him resting her head on his shoulder. "We're really screwed, aren't we?" she asked. 

John exhaled sadly, "we're in for difficult times in the near future."

"Where did we go wrong? Our neighbors say we're good parents. But they really don't know the half of it, do they?" she asked in frustration. 

"No." John slowly let go of Deb to eat in the kitchen. 

"How can you eat at a time like this?!?" she demanded. 

"Eating this club sandwich beats the hell out of feeling bad," he calmly replied. 

"It won't help."

"Tell me something I don't know," John quietly answered.

PART III

Deb was doing the chores that she and her husband hated the most. As Deb ironed the clothes , ironing clothes.  She heard her phone ring and frantically punched a button to answer Violet's call. 
"Mom, can you meet me at the Homer Glen Library?" Violet asked.

"ARE YOU SAFE?!?" Deb shrieked into the phone. 

"Yes, Mom," calmly replied Violet, "just come over to the library."

"What's wrong?" John asked.
"I don't know. I think Violet has a flat tire at the library," Deb ran out the door as John looked confused.
Deb couldn't get over there fast enough.  She often criticized John for speeding, but she had no shame in driving, speeding like him now!

After meeting Violet at the entrance, Violet said, "I reserved a small study group room for us." When Deb followed Violet, she was impressed that Violet was organized and smart enough to get a room where they could speak privately. 

After Deb closed the door to the private room, she asked, "what's wrong, Dear?"
Violet looked calm and slowly said, "I broke up with Geoff." 
"OH!" Deb tried to conceal her joy and was struggling for something to say, "how can I help you?" 

"I just was shocked at what he did.  I wanted to talk to you about it.  I even wanted to talk to Dad about it, but he might make a sarcastic remark about it," Violet replied in the same deadpan voice that concealed her total embarrassment.

"He wouldn't do that at a time like this!"
Violet told her the events, "Anyway, two days before New Year's Day, Geoff wanted all the Reds to meet. He told us that we were to meet at the White House on January 6.  He said there was a good chance the Reds and other groups would march on the Capitol and get inside. 
He outlined all the plans. He said we would drive for 12 1/2 hours.  I would be driving half of the time.  We were going to use two minivans.  He said only the Reds who would fight and really help the cause would go to DC, to the White House.  He said we couldn't afford  to take more than 2 minivans so only 13 people could go; we needed to allow for gear, he explained. 

He yelled out, 'THE REVOLUTION CONTINUES.  THE PATRIOTS PREVAIL! WE FOLLOW TRUMP!'
Then like usual, all 30 of us shouted back, 'FIGHT HARD!'

Then like usual, Geoff persuasively, quickly spelled out the plans. 
He was in touch with a few of the Proud Boys. They gave him details on what to do:
1.   Drive to Washington, D.C on January 5. 
2. Meet at a point a few miles away; location undisclosed.
3. On January 6, Geoff would get a text on where to meet and go to White House for Trump's speech!

4. The Proud Boys would provide the gear to possibly storm the Capitol while Congress certified the odious Electoral College votes. The key was that Proud Boys wanted to provide us the mob gear, so that we could have as many of the Reds come to DC. 
Geoff screamed at the group asking why the hell the 30 of us couldn't come up with more money? If you 17 weren't going, then why didn't they contribute more money?
Members of the group felt so guilty (even the 17 not going) that in a matter of 20 minutes, Geoff got $350.  I didn't give him a damn cent!  I thought he was being an asshole. In several months of being with Geoff there were times he was an asshole. Going to see Trump taking all the money the Reds gave to him made me start to hate him.  Now, look what happened on January 6!"

Deb's motherly instinct told her not to cry.  She hugged Violet; Violet hugged back and held her in an embrace.  Deb fought back, but she immediately thought that Violet hugged her with this much need since she was 12.  Maybe, her daughter loved her after all. 

Angels, nurse, nurse's lament

Ghostwritten by an RN on May 2, 2018

I saw an angel, and it was real.  It flew through my sister the day she was in a coma in the intensive care unit.                                                                                                                         

I saw another angel:

-coming down from heaven and  comforting us in our sorrow at a wake and funeral. 

 

 What makes people die?

Is it when God calls you home, or is it just a combination of circumstances and "good medicine."

I believe it is a little of both.  I'm a healer - in the world, my job is a nurse.  It is a brutal thing and a difficult job. Skills are not only necessary, but dedication and sacrifice! 

Some nurses are lonely and depressed. This is not often the case, BUT if you see and experience death enough on a regular basis......it can overwhelm you!

The final results. BIDEN WINS!!

 To my dear Readers, 

"Our long national nightmare is over."   
This decisive, cathartic quote was first used on August 9, 1974, by our 38th President, Gerald R. Ford, a Republican.  His predecessor tried to cover up theft that occurred at the Democratic National Headquarters in June of 1972.  Richard Nixon, a/k/a Tricky DICK (like Martha Stewart later) illustrated the important point, "The sin of coverup, deceit and concealing is often worse than the sin covered up!" 

From 2017 to the present day, we have to deal with a president so much worse than Richard Nixon.  A person who wielded world diplomacy for PERSONAL GAIN! Republicans and their followers never disputed that Trump wanted Ukraine to give information about the President-Elect's son in return for US aid (at least the ones who have a grip on reality).  
No,  it wasn't that they disputed those facts, because they were recorded!  Yes, recorded! 
What they disputed and meandered around and parsed words about was this point, "so what if he conducted foreign relations as President of the United States of America for personal gain??? No, it's not enough to remove him from office." 

We still have a president who actively spreads loathsome conspiracy theories.  Now President Trump isn't the first president to lie while president.  Democrats and Republicans alike have lied in office.  But, in my opinion, he lied to gain power, he lied to keep power, and he  continues to lie.  It's like the Judge Judy's sentiment from the bench to the Defendant, "Do you know HOW I can tell when you're lying?? When your LIPS MOVE!" Ok, I know he's not that bad, but I and hundreds of millions of Americans have put up with too much of his BS for too long!

Over 78 million voters said they had enough of Trump earlier this month.  Here are the Electoral College results:  

With a fair, conventional vote from the Electoral College, Biden will win 306 to 212.  He won more votes than any president in US History. According to CBS News, reported on Friday, November 20, Biden earned 79,658,000 votes in his favor.  The Washington Post stated that Biden won by over 78 million votes (reported on November 13, a week earlier).  This isn't made up.  And don't be like our president and say, "it's fake news." Two very good, trusted sources (among MANY) said Biden won and how many votes he won! 

The Washington Post  has been trusted for centuries by the American people.  Their reporters, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, broke the story about Nixon's demise in Watergate.  This is a story that has little dispute.  A vast MINORITY of Americans could dare look you in the face and say that Nixon should have remained in office, instead of resigning in August, 1974.

CBS News also has an august, reputable history.  CBS brought us Walter Cronkite, a man millions of us called Uncle Walter because he was that trusted among people across our great nation! 

 Some don't know this, but areas like Richland County, Wisconsin, TV viewers received CBS in the VHF band of TV where others viewed PBS, NBC and ABC from the UHF band.  In a hilly county like Richland County is, people like those in Ithaca, in the Willow Valley, had hills that blocked UHF channels, and the only TV channel one could see was CBS.  We know and understand there were other places across rural America that had the same or similar situation.  
CBS  brought us the longest running TV show on record, 60 Minutes which began in 1968.  

The bottom line is that while we may not know exactly how many votes Trump received and how many votes Biden won. We know that Trump lost.  He lost the popular vote; he won by over 50% of the votes cast for US President in 2020, and most importantly, he will win the Electoral College. 
Biden won! 

Election Prediction, 2020, Part 1

No, none of us should pretend that we know who will win the election.....Trump or Biden.  You should vote in the election unless you voted early or mailed in your ballot!

However, I submit to you that we are close to knowing who will win.

  

5 states:  Florida, N. Carolina, Pennsylvania (which gets a lot of attention b/c Trump won it in 2016 and Joe Biden was born there),  Wisconsin, and Arizona (in 2017 their senators were Jeff Flake and John McCain - both Repub. senators were disgusted w/ Trump when they left office.                                                                         

The electoral vote is currently 249-204. That leaves 85 electoral votes.  So, if Trump won them all, he would win. But look what happens if Biden wins Wisconsin and Trump wins the rest.....YOU HAVE A TIE, 269 - 269

Then it ends up in the House of Representatives. The Electoral College meets after the new House and Senate are sworn in.  But, the problem is that, by that time, Trump could issue many lawsuits from his rich friends.  If it goes to the Supreme Court, it will be like what happened the election of 2000.  The Supreme Court (even MORE CONSERVATIVE) could stop the count.  They could rule in favor of some OR ALL OF THE 5 STATES. That's a possibility. 

Smarter men with more time (I hope) can figure out if House and Senate could (hypothetically) have considerably more Democrats than Republicans have an effect on the electoral college. Talk to your friends; I'll talk to my friends, let's vote and pray that the election is figured out by at least November 4.                      

 

 

brutal logic and the new normal

 A couple weeks ago, my fiance, Pat, left the hospital.  She had been in the hospital for 2 weeks, because her kidneys were in bad shape.  Then they found out that she had a heart attack. It damaged a small proportion of her heart, strangely the bottom of her heart. She later needs open heart surgery to bypass the blockage and give more blood and the oxygen that comes with it to another part of her heart. 

So, she left the hospital.  So, where did Pat go after she left the hospital?  Well, there was kinda sorta a choice. 

If she went to her daughter's place, she would be in a townhouse.  It's a beautiful townhouse maybe built a decade ago. There would be people at the house with the opportunity to take care of her 24/7.  She absolutely, positively loves her grandkids.  They would be with her when they weren't at school.  Her dialysis is nearby in the same town as her daughter's; she has to go there at 5AM.  
                          OR

My place - I live in a 2 bedroom condo. Contrary to the townhouse, my condo was built in 1972.  To get to my condo, you climb 3 flights of stairs.  I live on the 3rd floor with no elevator. This is very bad for a woman who has very diminished cardiovascular capacity.  If she was living with me, when I go to work, when I run an errand, she's all alone.  No grandkids....they are 30some, 40some miles away. 

So solution is obvious and the logic is brutal (from my perspective).  & for her to come to my place just to visit maybe stay the night, she can't come if she has dialysis the next morning unless we want to get up before 4am. So, she's at her daughter's place to stay. She's not coming to live in the condo anymore.  After about 7 years, she's gone.  Because the solution is obvious and the logic is brutal (from my perspective).

What's the sense of even calling her my "fiance' " if she can't even live with me in the foreseeable future???

The new normal

I'm all alone, well there is my cat, Princess.

  Sometimes I feel bad for Princess because she feels so needy if I'm gone for hours, and I come back.  SHe's at the door as I make my way up the stairs.  She's meowing like mad.  She hates being alone.....like my "fiance' "  I suppose it's more accurate to say that Pat's health is such that she is unable to be alone. I was dreading moments like now.  When the realization that there's a good chance she'll never come back hits.  When I feel like being with her and at the moment she doesn't call or text back to me.  

There's going to be a lot painful moments like now.  Being alone, like I was through 90% of my 20s.  That empty feeling, the hope that some book, magazine article, streaming TV or TV documentary will keep you company.  Actually, right now, I'm listening to a Jack Johnson greatest hits album, and it's beautiful. I love every song on it.  How I wish this album would never end or at least not end until this lonely feeling is over hours from now.  I just discovered YouTube chose another Jack Johnson for me and the next Jack Johnson album after that is about an 1 hr, 20 min long.  Thank God for small favors.  

I would lay down and try to slumber away this melancholy, but it's too hot (90 deg Fahrenheit), too early. I sleep on my side and my left shoulder is way toooo sore.

I could go and stop by for awhile to see my kids.  Well, that carries this complication.  This past spring, they bought a dog.  Now, my ex always roots for the downtrodden, the hopeless.  So, she got an abused pit bull dog.  The dog in it's abused angry way often harasses her boyfriend...to the point, I feel sorry for him.  

When I come over, she barks with such blood-curdling ferocity, such unforgivable relentlessness that my heart fills with disgust and ---e. The dog's name is Lolly, but I just call her WEDGE because she is a wedge between my dear kids and me.  After all who wants to go over to hear a barking, snarling,snorting, relentlessly, loud dog?  I guess if I really need to go there, they can move the dog someplace where she's not such a baleful presence. 

The new norm has been imposed upon me.  I'm alone in my condo, and I can't see my kids w/o special arrangements being made. 

"The hours, they bring me pain."   from the song "Tangerine" by Led Zeppelin

The Election of 2020

This has many opinions. 
Do you know which sentences contain facts? 

Yes, the presidential election of 2020 is the most important election the US has had since 1932. 
Yet, like any other presidential election, the same dynamics, the same anger among opposing candidates, and especially and very much moreso the anger between the people that support the Democratic and Republican candidates. The Democratic National Convention went well and vividly and at times beautifully rallied concerned Americans to make the right choice and support Joseph Biden for president.  

You hear the disgust, the anger, the indignation of the Republicans.  They are like, "our convention is next week.  We can't wait to give our version of what's going on in the nation!!!!!!!!"   I can't even bother listening because they will just arouse my fury.   Yes, that's the truth. 

That's the amazing thing about politics.  You weld intelligence with emotion.  You can feel the anger moreso than the intelligence of the arguments many times. 
The issues......... The stories of people working so hard, but not making it financially.  They piss you off when you know Mark Zuckerburg or Jeff Bezos are billionaires that don't care about much other than their businesses.  

Another issue with so much emotion is abortion.  One side focuses on the image of an embryo and what will happen when the abortion occurs, and the other side focuses on the woman who wonders how she can possibly be a mother.  So much anger about these issues.  FACTS:  I hate abortion. Late term abortions are abominable (fact or opinion??).  Some dollar stores sell pregnancy tests.

I'm so tired of President Trump lying just to look good or spouting out conspiracy theories like White Trash would & does. (nasty, fake news, that is full of heated opinion)

The US isn't a leader when it comes to dealing w/ COVID.  We can't handle this virus.  (opinions but still SEEMS TO BE TRUE!)

Florida has been hit very very hard, all because some are ruining it for others.
  Some  Americans feel if they have to wear a mask, then it's not long until we are ruled by a dictator.  How stupid and consequential that belief is!  

But we are going to hear so many angry words, so many exaggerations, so much crap until November 3.  I do not want Joe Biden to fail (FACT). We are going to go through a very tough 4 years if Trump stays.  opinion
We simply can't let that happen.(opinion)

This has many opinions. 
Do you know which sentences contain facts? 

I LOVE "PROFESSOR T" !!!!

Tanja Oostvogels

Ella Leyers

If you like who-done-it detective style shows, then Google "Professor T" 
Great plots, great character development, smart, incisive DRAMA!!
It does have subtitles, but really give it a little patience and it will be worth it. 

Endless emails!!

The picture shows that I have over 6,000 emails in my GMAIL account that have accumulated like grime in your home that's been left unattended for years. I was at over 9,000 emails.  I deleted 3,000, but I couldn't help but think, "is this a productive use of my time?" I just sat there doing a seemingly endless cycle of:  highlight ->delete->highlight->delete......

My Yahoo email account I have had since 2000.  I still have emails from my late mother, and, of course, those are emails that I treasure!  Yet the thousands of emails in that account (yet another account with so many emails just sitting in Inbox!!) offend me nearly as much as the stuff I have yet to clean of my walls or floor.

What do we do with all those damn emails?  What do you do with all your emails from yesteryear??

I love

I love beef stew.
Some meals are better than others.
When I eat beef stew or grapefruit, my prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for my meal is very sincere!

Idleness during coronavirus

The authorities are telling us to self-quarantine.  However, reading a magazine or watching TV all in the comfort of your home for a long period of time feels just as decadent as it did before the coronavirus struck.
We certainly weren't meant to act like cats.
The one little shred of consolation is that there is less air pollution, fewer steps towards the awful route of global warming now with much less car traffic.


Guess I can always take a lengthy walk, that would be good for me.

And another thing........

I'm very happy with my nice tax refund, but even now, I rue the day when it will be spent! Let's look on the bright side.  I do love spending extra money on paying down debts.  I really appreciate the stellar job Gitmeid Law Firm has done in knocking down my debt, too! 
I LOVE THIS STAMP ! !

a cat's fatigue

Our cat, Princess, who has been with us since March of 2019, was alert and awaiting Christmas.

But as 2020 has arrived and the finality and fatigue of extra work during the holidays has finally gotten to all of us, Princess needs her cat nap!!

Christmas & New Years photos and news

My ex-wife, Maribeth, told me that she would have to work both Christmas Eve and Christmas.  I worked on Dec 23 and the first 7 1/2 hrs of Christmas Eve, but had the next 3 days off by request.  This was the perfect opportunity to go to Wisconsin with my 3 kids:  Andy, Ted, and Bri!!!  What made it even better was that my fiance', Pat was going, too!  I was in pretty bad shape for the 240 mile trip going NW of our hometown & leaving suburban Chicago.  I worked Dec 23-24.  I didn't get home until about 8 am, Christmas Eve.  

Then I thought, "do I really want to go to sleep knowing how much I have to do before starting the big trip to Wisconsin to see my brother??"

"NO" was the answer.

So, I made some money giving plasma to CSL. 

I called my kids to reiterate the importance of getting out of town by 2:30. 
I didn't like the way my condo looked so I spent some time throwing stuff away, sweeping, spot-mopping, washing dishes, sinks and toilet.  & of course, I'm usually a day late changing my dear cat's litter, so I made sure to change that.  I packed the car with what I had, when Pat needed and took out some car supplies to make room for Andy, Ted & Bri's luggage.

The first part of the trip was awesome.  The 3 kids and I were in the spirit of Christmas and we were laughing and joking about funny memories as we sometimes do.  Bri was doing a very good job driving to pick up Pat and Ted was riding shotgun alongside her. 

Pat had worked from 7am to 3:30 at Loyola Univ Med Ctr doing the same job as I cardiac monitor technician.  I work at Palos which is a lot easier commute.  Pat was tired from her shift.  It's not easy to get up before 5am (yes, I know millions do this, just not me!).  My one regret was that I did not insist on Pat sitting in front as she would get sore (due to her recovering from cancer), but she insisted on sitting in the back, and Bri insisted on sitting in the front.  That mistake will never happen again!!

We got to Richland Center, Wisconsin to a hotel.  The "big brother" surveillance cameras caught me fudging on how many people were in our hotel room.  I wanted to save money and say there were 3 of us, when there were actually 5 of us.  So I paid $22 extra and considered myself lucky.  We enjoyed the hot tub and swimming pool.  I talked to Ted and Bri about subjects, important subjects, that I never get a chance to talk to them about because we don't live together anymore.  It felt very good telling them how I felt.  Their comments were helpful.  My other son, Andy, is more close, because he comes to my condo a lot more to see Pat & I. 

 Then Bri asked later if Ted and she could go to WalMart, and if that was closed, the gas station still open the night before Christmas.  I said I wanted to go along.   Bri said, "No, Dad.  I just want to go with Ted!"  Oh all right. Maybe they needed some more bonding time. 

from left to right, youngest to oldest Bri, Ted & Andy

That night before Christmas, we opened up Christmas presents, and all of us were pleased that we were in a generous loving family.  Out of exhaustion from being up over 32 consecutive hours, I fell asleep before some of my kids.

The next morning was one of bitter disappointment.  The first thing was Bri angrily telling me that she had a hard time staying asleep with my snoring.  I looked at my watch, and to my horror, it was 10:05.   The whole point was for us all to go to a nearby Church. But here I was just getting up and Ted still fast asleep!!!!!!!! Church started at 10am, we were already 5 min late and neither Ted nor I were dressed!!!  UGH!!!!!!!!!!! & we resigned ourselves to the idea that no one wanted to disrupt parishoners' Christmas with a bunch strangers coming into a Christmas Mass about a 1/2 hour late!!
What made it so disappointing was that I really wanted Ted and Bri to go to Church with Andy, Pat and I.  Ted & Bri stopped going to Church during 2019 to my chagrin and disappointment.  As a parent, it was partially my fault they stopped going even though  I no longer was a parent who lived with them anymore.  Yes, I love being only a 1/2 mile away from them, but sometimes, it seems like it might as well be 1/2 a world away!! It wasn't good enough to be a good example by going to Church every week.  Somehow, I needed to work more on their affective/emotional domains and have them learn why going to Church is GOOD.  I didn't.  I may have, but it wasn't enough.

We ate a free breakfast and packed our car.  We visited my brother, Bill (shown below with me on the left).  Bill was his benevolent, generous self and spent way over $100 on the 5 of us.  Bri, Ted & I went down to his basement where Bri beat both her Dad and Ted.  Then we watched the 2nd to last most recent Star Wars movie.  Bill enjoyed his gifts from us. 

Before we knew it, it was time to leave.  Actually, Bri was tired so she left Bill's house and slept in the car.  When Bill came out, I was impressed with Bri's humility and social skills and apologized to Bill for leaving early; she said, "sorry for being a crybaby."  She didn't cry, but Bill's skills were equally adept as he smiled at her and said, "well, Bri, sometimes I'm a crybaby, too."  We all gave out hugs and love to Bill and left Wisconsin.

We looked forward to the next part of the trip which was going to Pat's daughter, Nikki, She had hosted a big Christmas party the night before, and she was happy to see us a day later.  Numerous humorous memories were laughed about including my parsimony and Pat's giant bedroom TV.
Bri had a blast with Nikki's kids (as shown by pictures below) ! !

Tia, Pat, Tia's baby, Andy, Bri

Pat, Tia's daughter, Bri; Andy in background

In spite missing Church, (which I concluded later wasn't a sin, b/c my son and Pat were afraid to wake me, so I didn't willfully decide not to go), we had a great time as a family.  I'm happy I have the pictures to show the world, but the memories deep in our being count even more!!

well, wait a minute on Monday's post.

I don't know I was pretty down Monday when I wrote "I Love Being Old."  I hadn't worked with UPS for the 3rd straight year yet.  I didn't know when I would work. Then, I worked with an awesome UPS driver. Still, I am working with him!
Ok.............well.....let's start with leadership at TMA  Ask if you don't know what that is.

I guess the manager and president aren't idiots.  First, area you should look for is corruption. The second is the annual budget.  No raise in association dues.  Logical spending occurs in the Annual Budget released/discussed last month.
What makes me upset comes from a well-known truism. One of the last people to use it was a Sec. of Defense I didn't even like Donald Rumsfeld at all (he served from 2001-2006).  But, the truism is something that more people need to consider.  It's this:
You don't know what you don't know. 
You can make all sorts of assumptions about how few people read Secretary's Minutes and Treasurer Reports.  No one knows how often people read those in the laundry room. & I'm willing to bet that the number of times people read them isn't zero. 
To TMA's credit they do send a statement in the 1st half of the following year relating how much is spent (ie if you  the condo spends in 2018, you get an accounting of what they spent in 2019.  Hopefully, that won't change.                                     

Things are better on the vocational front. It's been a year at a vocation that I spent 16 years doing, cardiac monitor tech.  I'm with a local hospital.  Benefits are good; I earned OT in spring, summer and fall.

There's another area that I might go in that will be announced later. It will be in tandem w/ cardiac monitor tech

I love being old!!

Let me tell you something!
I DON'T want to be a year, a decade or a score of years younger than I am now!  DO you know what I love best about being old?  When the police stop me, and I'm old enough to be their dad, they don't write me traffic tickets anymore.  I had one who caught me doing 16 mph over the speed limit.  He said "screw the speeding ticket;  I'm going to give you a little muni ticket for having a scent tree in your rear view mirror.  That's a muni offense here in Palos Heights!"
I don't want to live to be 90 or even 85.  But God says so, then I will live that age.  I just wonder how in the world I could afford to live at that advanced age.  I don't want to live that age because of what happened to my father, paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather. The first two died a very difficult death with Alzheimer's.  I'll never forget how Dad or my Grandma Alvina acted when they had their respective illnesses.  Dad took me aside 4 or 5 years prior to his mom's death and said, "I don't think she's going to live much longer, Vince."
Yet, she did.  She suffered from Alzheimer's.  She went to my Mom and asked repeatedly, nearly each day, about her certificate of deposits.
Then, about 30 years later, Dad had Alzheimer's.  First, Mom showed me the report first diagnosing him.  Then, I remember as clearly as yesterday, the first "Alzheimer's comment" my father made.  We sat for lunch or supper and my Dad said, "I know what day my birthday is." Really a sad, sinking feeling!
Yes, of course, I cried at his funeral.  I remember crying a few days before April 14, 2011 before I mailed my b-day card to him.  I was on the train.  I looked at the birthday card I was going to write and said, "how do I reach him???"  I cried. I hate, detest crying in public!!!!!  The train was my sanctuary from all life threw my way. I didn't have an excruciating life as a paralegal.  But 2011 was a difficult year.  A month after the crying incident, my ex-wife's father died.  When I helped put away possessions, I came across a piece of paper.  I became very distraught.  I was very hurt at what somebody did.
If it hadn't been for a wise brother like Jerome helping me out of that very tough situation, I would still be eaten up by that piece of paper.
BEFORE that,  as I drove to Ithaca back in 2010, I thought, "well, you know......maybe if Dad has Alzheimer's, then he'll mellow out.  He won't ask a lot from my Mom."
Dad was an Alpha personality until he went to the nursing home.
When I went to the place that I once called home.............Dad asked a lot of Mom.  Sad....very sad.
I was particularly sad that the older sister-in-law my fiance' dubs the "Ice Queen" didn't like coming to Ithaca, because she disliked the way my Dad acted.  I guess she had her reasons.  She had her reasons.  She lived through the developing feminist era of the late 60s and 70s.  Clearly, her mindset was different.  How could it not be?  Nevertheless, I really do disagree with her about my Father!!

Then, I see myself in 2019.  If Don Henley thought that 1989, 30 years ago, was "such a graceless age," then what the hell does he think now!!!!!!!!!!

From the same album, he sang, "This is no Shangrila."  In 2017-2019 it certainly wasn't Shangrila, certainly not for this nation.  Wow......I loved 1989, the year that album came out.  I moved to a city where they drive faster.  I loved their drivers and their radio stations a hell of a lot better than those in LaCrosse.

Now, I see myself now with my glaucoma, considerably worse vision and puffy, red, numb feet (complete w/ toe ulcers).  If I aged from 1999 to 2019 a great deal, then what is going to happen to me from 2019 to 2039?  

"That which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger." 

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!

I have a depression that gnaws, an anxiety that inflames, and thank goodness for 2 drugs for my insomnia, so that I can float away from mental/physical pain for 8-10 hours.  The depression is hereditary. 3 people very close to me from 1963-1984 had/have it, too. 

  Hey, don't blame me for being on meds for my insomnia.  I lost 30 lbs. in 2 months back in 2007.  I couldn't sleep the whole night thru EVER AGAIN.   OK, so it sounds silly when I say don't blame me.  What I mean is don't blame me 100%.  Dr. Mool gave me the meds to make me sleep.  When I built up a higher tolerance going from 2007 to the fall of 2019, I got my 2nd med.  I'm not proud of it, but it sure makes me feel a lot better.  At least I'm not like Michael Jackson who had to take horse tranquilizers before his fateful death. I certainly wasn't your fan, but RIP Mike J.  

I'm still hopeful.  I still want to marry my fiance'.  I sent my annulment into the Chicago Archdiocese.  I'm hopeful they'll say "yes, your marriage is annulled" after a number of meetings I will face, and a verdict I hope is favorable.  I earned a 98% 5-star rating at Lyft and Uber and get rewards for those achievements.   

 My lover tells me that I do well-taking care of her.  She takes care of herself, too, for the most part.

He's on the extreme right in the last picture.

  

I like this guy above.  He's the reason 44 men have been presidents but Trump is considered the 45th President. You could, dear reader, win a bet asking, "how many men were President of the United States?" There's always one less than the # of presidents for the last 125 years.  Yes, he was counted twice as 22nd and 24th president; he earned it.  He had a beautiful, young wife, too.  I think of when I was a president of the condo.  Obviously, that doesn't resemble being President of USA.  Until my dying day, I'll be proud of reforming not once (2003), but twice (again in 2014) a condo board. I made mistakes. Thank God I left before O'Connell sunk her ugly clutches into the board and executed a 3-cornered theft. I love the above man's quote,  "a public office is a public trust!"  I laugh hard at the irony of being a Democrat, but acting like a Republican in my 14 years of being in public office as an elected condo board member.  I don't regret any of the fights I was in w/ manager my last year in office, 2018.  Those idiots (manager, president) couldn't even appreciate the value of posting the Secretary Minutes & Treasurer's Report in the laundry room.  I served as a President 6 of those years, was a Secretary all of my years as condo board member.  I learned parliamentary procedure thoroughly (also learned it as a 6 year Vice President of St. Damians Men's Club). I was complimented for how I wrote Secretary's Minutes. Yeah, I researched how to do that.  I took my time preparing those Minutes, because I thought they were damn important.  Yes, I wrote excellent Secretary's Minutes, and it's not bragging if it's true.  I wonder if I will be saying Cleveland's last words before he died, “I have tried so hard to do right.”

He didn't measure up to being a great president.  In his last term, he was stained by a bad recession.  There are reasons he shouldn't be considered "great president."  A man who met him was a great president.  Franklin Roosevelt's father knew and contributed to his campaigns for president.  Franklin Roosevelt talked to this man in the 2 pictures.  They were all from northern New York.  When I look back at 2019, I wish I accomplished more.  It grieves me to tears that I didn't avoid certain mistakes in 2019. I told my fiance' that I panic before going to bed often in the last 8 years; I say, "is that all I did today!!!!" Sometimes, it seems like all I have are my 2015 Mitsubishi, my kids, my dear future wife, my condo, a brain, siblings and self-deprecating jokes.  

....All we can do is hope for a better 2020.....

what does the IMPOSSIBLE BURGER mean?

So the IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER is a burger sold by Burger King which has no real meat.  It's made out of soy and potatoes.  It tasted very similar to a regular burger, but I could taste a subtle difference.  There's an article on the Impossible Whopper in the New Yorker.  I love/respect beef farmers.  But clearly when we talk about sustainability and carbon footprint, we have to fact the fact that the Impossible Whopper leaves a much smaller carbon footprint.
The facts clearly back that up!

There's Now & There's Then, But What Happens to Us Now?

            This could be another day like any other.  I wake up, make a wholesome breakfast; later, work at Ubering and Lyft.  I do what millions of others do.  Get up, earn money, refrain from the noticeable bad habits that afflict a select group of unfortunate [1]people here in the United States.  However, we do not overlook those more fortunate than us, the ones who don’t seem to have to do much to get a few thousand each workday in the town I live or go on the train, show up and earn it in the LOOP area of Chicago. The problem is that we feel jealousy or feel that we are a failure, because we have to struggle so much more than those people.  Human nature seduces us to look and ponder at those who have it seemingly easier than us. 

            Why was this morning different for me than the others? I had a dream where my situation was worse than it is now.  I was suddenly friends again with a pretty woman from my old neighborhood in Ithaca. She came up to me and said that she heard that I didn’t like her anymore, and that was why I had been away from Ithaca.  I was about to explain all the things that had gone wrong in my life, and that the reason for me to be elsewhere had nothing to do with anything she may had done wrong.  However, I woke from the dream, because………..it simply was time to get up and face the new day.

            The point is that in this blog, which started 14 years ago, I have already documented the adversity that I suffered.  They include having prostate cancer and taking a hiatus from my career as a paralegal.  Then when I was recovered and was hired back after having cancer, the legal environment for paralegals seemed to be very different than when I left.  Yet, there are so many other things that have happened to me that I have discussed more at length that I need not list them again. 

            When I grew up, I had a very strong contempt of Country Western music.  I woke up early in the morning at 5 am and, after breakfast, milked cows.  Either my father or my older brother subjected me to listen to that hick music while I would get hit by cows tails as they tried to fend off flies.  The DJ certainly did not help as they would attempt humor and fall woefully short.  That is why I disliked Country Western music.  It stood for a milieu that I despised.

            However, that occurred well over 40 years ago.  I don’t look at Country Western music the same way.  As my PBS station played Ken Burns TV series Country Music, I looked forward to hearing a new episode each night since Sunday.  Monday, I was unable to hear Episode 2, because I was working a night shift at the hospital.  However, when I went to the PBS website, I was easily able to listen/see the episode on my computer.

The music played was more hick than the music I heard 40 years ago; what changed?  I did.  I left the farm 32 years ago. When I hear Country Western on Ken Burns TV series, I’m not working next to a cow.  In fact, I’m miles away from any cow. I no longer feel the hot contempt I did back then.

These episodes graphically showed the tough, hardscrabble lives these musicians lived before they became famous.  Then they showed how some of them struggled in life even after they became stars.  How people like Jimmy Webb died young of TB, and how Hank Williams died even younger of alcoholism-induced complications.  Both were legendary pioneers of this music.

Clearly, there’s a frustration in seeing someone with great talent having it all cut short due to their own shortcomings.

We face many challenges.  There are so many ways we could make costly mistakes and not many ways we can do things right and succeed.  That is why they call the desired course of life “the straight and narrow.”

What many of us find particularly difficult and what has confounded millions of us in the times we live in are changes that have occurred in the last 20, 30 years.  There are more changes than there were 30 years ago.  Sadly, the changes afflict many of us quicker and more unrelenting than someone who lived a generation before us.  Global warming, the upheaval in the workplace (those who work at this same place for 15, 20 years are in the minority), the value of the work done by the middle-class being less than before and the disgusting "gigue economy" are all examples of these dizzying changes.  

One of my favorite authors is Hermann Hesse.  He wrote Steppenwolf in the 1920s.  I always marveled, in this book, at how he predicted World War II more than a decade prior to its beginning (80 years ago to the month)! Clearly, as you read Steppenwolf, the world changed as a result of World War I which occurred a few years prior. Early in the story, a man the main character lived with discussed how difficult it would be to live in the Middle Ages.  The main character, Harry Haller, replied,

"A man of the Middle Ages would detest the whole mode of our present day life as something far more than horrible, far more than barbarous.  Every age, every culture, every custom and tradition has its own character, its own weakness and its own strength, its beauties and ugliness; accepts certain sufferings as matters of course, puts up patiently with certain evils. 
Human life is reduced to real suffering, to hell, only when two ages, two cultures...overlap.  A man of the Classical Age who had to live in medieval times would suffocate miserably just as a savage does in the midst of our civilization.  Now, there are times when a whole generation is caught in this way between two ages, two modes of life, with the consequence that it loses all power to understand itself and has no standard, no security, no simple acquiescence." Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf , 1929

Clearly, there have been so many changes, that it has become hard to keep up.  Yet, keep up we must.  We have to realize that the way in which we succeeded in 1990 will not succeed in 2019.  Think of how much the political landscape has changed between now and 1990.  I have discussed these changes in this blog previously, so there's no reason to discuss them now. 

As we struggle onwards, there are some who are worried about how they will find their next meal. Many others are worried about how they will pay their mortgage. Still, others wonder how they can clearly pass on the ethics and outlook that helped them succeed through a majority of adulthood to their offspring and a younger generation. 

_______________________

[1] When I think of bad habits tragically plaguing people's lives I only have to look at my own community.  I look out my 3rd floor balcony of my condo and see a neighbor next to me who let alcohol and foolishness cause him to go to jail and blight a life where his potential could have led him to accomplish more.  There's another man who has such a crippling gambling habit that he spends too much of his life homeless.  His condition has reduced this man who is 5'9" to a weight of about 140 pounds.