the shoe & the stick

They hadn't gotten along well since before Thanksgiving.  Their relationship worsened; there were more fights, more times that Calvin had no interest in sleeping in the same bedroom.  There were times that he slept in a nearby motel.  Half-hearted attempts were made to reconcile (there was no make-up sex),   

One afternoon, after he had gone to the motel, she asked him if he slept with another woman.  "No," he calmly replied.  She knew that already; that Sunday night she had called the motel.  She asked the owner if there was anyone "who was a guest to Calvin when he slept that night."

"There was no one with him.  When he comes to the motel, he asks to take the furthest room away from other people at the motel," the owner explained, "he comes in pretty quiet; he leaves quieter." 

"Did he leave the motel without paying?" she asked. 
"He always pays." 

 Calvin & Veronica decided to go camping. The idea sprung up like the leaf of garlic that sprouts on a messy kitchen table.  They wanted to go to California.  Then, they went through Nebraska and lost the muffler.  There,   Calvin & Veronica decided to go camping. The idea sprung up like the leaf of garlic that sprouts on a messy kitchen table.  They wanted to go to California.  Then, they went through Nebraska and lost the muffler.  The smelt a faint oder as the camper sounded much louder than before. Would they get stopped by the police? Veronica had the idea of taking some minor roads, then the muffler wouldn't sound as loud.  Calvin guided her with his downloaded map. They both laughed and smiled at each other when they saw that there were vehicles that looked and sounded just badly as theirs sounded.  They saw no police.

They sighed; they settled on a state park in Nebraska. They got their camper parked.  They decided to camp 3 football fields away from the camper.  

They gave the relationship one last chance.  They agreed that they were working "too hard" at their daily activities.   They started smiling back at each other as they parked the 14-year-old, unreliable camper.    She  was retiring in a few months.  He was more than 5 yrs from retiring from his job. 

First, it was Calvin, but Veronica sung in unison the next second. 

"Hey! You're leavin' tongue marks on the carpet
I know what you're lookin' at
You would walk on your lips through busted glass
If you could get next to that

You think this is love?
Your education starts today
So you think this is love?
So tell me, How bad do you want it?"

Don Henley's song "How Bad do you Want it" from his solo album in the 80s. 

"You're going, North, Veronica.  You said you would go south!"

"But that town is South!"

They smiled when they heard the song on Surrealistic Pillow

"Do away with people blowin' my mind
Do away with people wastin' my precious time
Take me to a simple place
Where I can easily see my face
Maybe baby, I'll see that you were kind
Know I love you baby, yes I do

Do away with people laughin' at my hair
Do away with people frownin' on my precious cares
Take me to a circus tent
Where I can easily pay my rent
And all the other freaks will share my cares
Know I love you baby, yes I do

Do away with things that come on obscene
Like hot rods, pre-cleaned real fine nicotine
Sometimes the price is sixty-five dollars prices like that make a grown man holler!
'Specially when it's sold by a kid who's only fifteen!
Know I love you baby, yes I do
Know I love you baby, yes I do

3/5ths of a Mile in 10 Seconds!!!!!!!!!!!"

They had been eating tomato soup mixed with barley soup like something concocted 9 years ago.  The best was the ranch dressing.

They kept driving stakes into the ground as they put up their tent.  They started looking for the fire to grill the sirloin.  

"I'll eat this sirloin raw if you don't find those fuckin' matches!" shouted Calvin.  

She mocked him all the way to the camper. She mocked him all the back, too.  

"When are you starting the fire?"  he asked. 

She took out the black lucky shoe that his maternal grandfather had.  

Where are the matches, Cal?  

"In my back pocket." 

I thought you said I had it.  

But I had them, she replied.  

 No, a stick match was struck by Veronica and failed. 

No

No 

No
No

No!

Match to the shoe, she struck the fire  They had some sticks in the oversized black tray.  They threw the match in the pan without even looking.  The fire started, and they wondered if the meat would start getting hot. 

They didn't even look as the fire started in the pan.  He started whistling the song "Miracles" released in 1975, by Jefferson Starship as her eyes lit up. 

He whistled  every note of the organ part  before Martin Balin (who wrote the song)  started singing...

"If only you believe like I believe, baby We'd get byyyyyyyy......"

"If only you believe in miracles (if only you believed in miracles so would I)
If only you believe like I believe, baby (if only you believe like I believe)
We'd get by
If only you believe in miracles (if only you believed in miracles so would I)

........  He sang the first stanza flawlessly.  

Then she responded, " might have to move Heaven and Earth to prove it to you, baby (baby)
So we're making love, you feel the power,  and I feel the power
And there's really nothing we can't do."

-----------

"Drink the water, Veronica."  They did as they stared at each other.  They ate the 12 gran bread and drank the rest of the soup cold.  

"I told you to get rid of all the Nine Inch Nails CDs."
"I did!" 

"No you didn't,"

"Yes, I did," Calvin said smugly, "I smashed The Fragile over my toolbox." 

"Yeah?" 
"Yeaaahhh???,"  she said,  "I still have NIN  With Teeth.Well I'm going to tell you a little secret...........but she fell on him.

That's not a secret;  I heard that CD over and over 

  They started frenching & they rolled around, but never near the fire.

Again, Jefferson Starship's "Miracles"

You know we could,

All we got to do is get a little faith in you

I've been so many places I've seen some things  (yes I have)
Keeps holding this world together Ain't nothing better?  repeat

"And all the answers to our prayers     Hell, it's the same everywhere 
Nothing ever breaks up the heart... .
Only your tears give you away 

I can hear windmills and rainbows whenever you talkin' to me

(Never say never)
I feel like swirling and dancing whenever you walk in with me 
You ripple like the river when I touch you
Then I pluck your body like a string 
Then I start dancing inside you 

I love you so
I love you so  I love you so 

I love you so
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh yeah, ALL RIGHT !!!!! Baby, we're sure doin' it tonight 

Every time you come by let me try (come on by)
Pretty please, with sugar on it, that's how I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I can't even believe it with you it's like.........."

They both stood up.  They got cold.  But they were too stubborn and circled each other around the inside of the tent.  

She got up and dumped out the sirloin JUICE  on his coat.      wtf?  

He dove on her (as she fell softer than you might expect), and they got the rest of their clothes off.  

Breasts

right sock touching his dick

love is the perfect drug  

You said... 

NO, you DID.  

After their sex and they caught their breath.......

She grabbed the gray part of the meat.  Calvin grabbed the raw.  

They spent an hour eating the meat, STARING at each other. 

Sometime later.................. they fell asleep in an awkward position Hours later,  it got more awkward

Don Henley's song started playing again.

"So you, you put a hold on happiness
A day, a week, a year
You got to bring somethin' to this party."

===================

"Calvin, the camper isn't starting."
He said nothing.  He got into one of his icy moods where he stopped talking. 
"Calvin!!!"

I got it fixed," he laconically replied. 

"But you went to 1 of the cheaper places in town to get it repaired!  I burned your New Yorker magazines....all of them!" she said.

"After 30 yrs., I got rid of the subscription last summer," he replied. 

No you didn't !

Yes, I did
But I was reading the articles on your computer

"It was yours.  You read them on your computer," he stood and got up.  

His voice got lower as they got near.  They were standing chest to chest...holding their shoulders,  "that will be the last damn time you read my 10 New Yorker magazines!"

"You shoved them into my trunk in June," she replied, "STOP watching the movie Easy Rider." 

"You need to stop reading Drugstore Cowboy at 1:30 am!!!!!!!!"

"You mean one of the 1st big movies Heather Graham was in? 

They kept walking away.  "Why did that fuckin camper not start?"  he was wondering. 

Her high pitch asked, "What''s that blood all over your hand." They were kneeling face to face and started crying a few feet from the asphalt street.   

"You really do have a short memory, don't you, and stop drinking and start listening more!!!  You don't even remember shoving my hand into the tent stake, do you? 

"But you hurt my back!"  She started singing, and they started again.  

The sun was up.  
"What animal was out there when you went to the camper?"

Well, Cal, you really shouldn't give a fiddler's fuck, b/c I made it back to the tent, didn't I?"  She paused, "You didn't even ask me what animal it was at the time."  

"That's because I don't want to go around,"  he was panting & wondering what to say,  "in circles anymore. These days I'd rather work, then be with you anyway!" He started walking and following the road.  She ran past him.  

"Why did we even go to The West in the first place?"

"Because, you said, "there's global warming and we get to make our own rules"  He thought he saw his white Cutlass Ciera and ran 100 feet past her.  
"You made the Christmas of 2023 the worst FUCKING CHRISTMAS I EVER HAD!!!! SHE SHREIKED.  

He got into the Oldsmobile.  She got into the Chevy Cavalier.  They never spoke to each other again.  

Back at the tent, the deer heard the 7th track of Jefferson Airplane's Surrealistic Pillow.
The buck heard the next track, "How do you feel?" 

The farmer heard the same album on his radio;  "DCBA" was the song.  

The moral of the   story. 

Believe in Global Warming
Look at  Great Pacific Plastic Patch 

Believe in GOD

Don't get into a relationship too fast. 

The Trace of King Lear

Why did the Fool disappear in the middle of Shakespeare's play?
Because, King Lear became the critic of himself while the Fool left. He slenderly knew himself.  He certainly knew his weaknesses after the jester left.    

What was played in the last minute or so (give or take) of "I'm the Walrus?"

King Lear

Some people were reciting lines from during and after 1 of the villains died.