Other highlights

To the left, you are seeing Brianna comb Ted's hair. Out of my 3 kids, they are the 2nd and 3rd (with Ted being 3 yrs. older). Ted & Brianna are very close. Brianna loves to tag along with Ted. It's nice to see your two kids so close. Hope it stays that way.

Brianna got ambitious and was cleaning again. You can't complain about a daughter who likes to clean, can you?

I taught my oldest son, Andy (shown above) how to ride a bike. I'm not going to tell his age because he should have learned years ago (no, he's not in high school). But it was a proud moment. He was really happy to finally learn. He got up, all happy and gave me a big hug. ice moment, good kid. Hope you like the pictures.

Life is good, yes, it's hard paying bills and we don't have the great American dream (a family, a house and a garage) but money isn't everything. & as Maribeth says there's a lot of unhappy people who are rich.

action & reaction

I deleted my post about being frustrated about my weight. Sometimes when you read what you write, it looks kind of pathetic. It's nice to have the delete key. It's certainly no less of a problem. But I am somewhat comforted with the fact that I am doing something about it. I do a lot more exercising than I was in the spring (or last fall & winter for that matter). It's a shame all this exercising doesn't translate into losing weight but I have no one else to blame; I need to stop eating so much.

just an innocent question

If Stephen Hawking gets to be weightless, do you think they'll let him do a spacewalk???

I'M SO DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

So I go to Firestone (which usually does a good job with my car and charges reasonable prices), they tell me that it's $400 for a tune up which should be done since my car has a halting, faltering noise to it (likes its going to die). "Why so high?"
"Because you're using gold plated Delco spark plugs"
Later, I learned the spark plugs are a mere $7. So if you multiply the number needed (4) and then add $30-$50 on spark plug wires, then the parts only are $58 to $78!!! You mean, they were going to charge me way over $300 for labor???!?
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I decided to have Sal the Handyman do it, but after waiting 3 weeks, I decided to do it myself. It can't be that hard, it just can't be.
Once I had the right tools, it really wasn't that hard. When I was finished installing the spark plugs and wires, I said a prayer hoping it would start. I turn the key and voila!! The car starting was the sweetest thing I ever heard.
I saved myself $350. I haven't been this proud since last spring. It almost felt like getting into a fight and winning. There was that macho feeling of accomplishment.
Right now, I'm feeling pretty good. But we all know the saying:


If you feel good, don't worry you'll get over it!

pix

what happened?!?

I love working in the Loop of Chicago, but there are some disturbing sights. I had previously mentioned that I see more than my share of beggars when I work in Chicago. Usually, they are at the sidewalk, with a small cup slightly shaking it. 

But some of them are pretty unique. There was one guy who was screaming at the top of his lungs (as he walked down the street), "HAPPY FRIDAY!" & of course, he screamed this over and over again. Some of them like to pull at your heartstrings. They will have a poor, innocent kid with them. One guy literally was on his knees, he took his hat off and used that as a cup, something that you would put money in. I give to certain homeless people who sell Streetwise. Streetwise that is a weekly paper and talks about homelessness. Sometimes people who are homeless write the articles. The point is I often wonder what happened to those who are homeless to put them in the situation that they are currently in. What happened?!?? Was it drugs? Was it poor education? Was it a dysfunctional family? Was it a combination of all 3? What happened? I refuse to believe that being homeless is "all their fault", or that if they would get off their ass and work, everything would be fine. Who said that they have the skills to get a job? (That's where a poor education plays a role). Who said that they have the social skills to even keep a job? (drugs, dysfunctional family, disadvantaged background all play a role there). It's a sad situation. Clearly, it makes me thankful that I was born in a loving family with good parents. Obviously we have no control over where we will be born. We could just as easily been born in a flyridden part of Africa or in the middle of their desert.

Humor, moving , much fatigue & relief / changing my mind

I’m still with Maribeth (believe it or not). She has changed and maybe I’ve changed enough too. Let’s hope things continue to go well. Anyway, since it’s that time of the year and it’s the end of the month, my lease was up, and I moved out. Maribeth & I are really looking forward to getting at least 2/3rd of the $1500 I put down for security deposit. Although we have agreed to how much Maribeth would get (about 40%) she did make a biting remark about “only” getting about $400. I said I would love to give her more, but since I moved the heavy furniture out, I should get the majority of the security deposit. She didn’t dispute that line of reasoning. See, I told you she was changing for the better!

My helper, “Sal the Handyman” accused me of paying him last night “Wetback’s Wages”. I gave him $50 for 3 hours of work. Hell, that’s better than what I was making at the law firm until December! Oh well, I think he was kidding plus he was upset because Maribeth told him that he would have to only move about 3 boxes and it was a lot more than that.

Monday night, I was very tired when I was done moving at 11:15 pm . It was 15 degrees out. I was so fuckin’ “fatigued” that I just tilted the seat back and slept for 2 hours…in the condo parking lot…..in subfreezing weather. I had built up a bunch of heat before I passed out, so there were no worries. & when it got too cold in the car my body simply sensed it, and I woke up and went to bed.
Seeing as how I live in a tony condo complex that I work “so hard” at keeping nice, I was completely confident no one was going to come up and shoot me as they did Michael Jordan’s father. (may he rest in peace!)

Speaking of our tony condo complex, I decided not to resign. I was happy to keep serving, and it got to the point that the only reason I was going to quit was because Maribeth didn’t want me to be involved anymore. (She wanted me to spend as much time with the kids). But then she violated an obscure code and was politely told that she had violated it by one of the neighbors. So, she reasoned that maybe the household is better off to be covered “under the cloak of the President’s office”. So, I helped her out, and we're compliant w/ the regulation. No one is above the condo regulation. It’s just that some get more leeway to comply than others.

the gift of excellent co-workers

I am blessed to have excellent co-workers at both the law firm and the hospital where I work. I had an incident on Christmas Eve that I wanted to share, and it's about my friend/co-worker, Galyn. The day of December 24 I had a hard time sleeping. The thing is that (I said this on a previous blog) I don't want to turn into Elvis - one who needs a pill to be awake, a pill to sleep, a pill to be happy and a pill to crap.

I do enough medication as it is not to turn out like him. & while I am now 43 and he died at the young age of 42, I still want to live for awhile. Going back to the the ex will do that to a person, and even moreso having wonderful kids.

So I came to the job not knowing what to expect the night before I got 8 hrs. but after 12:00 pm it's important to get 3 hrs. before work and put your body into "night shift mode". I didn't get that on Dec. 24. I told my co-worker, Gina, about my plight, and I told her that I was worried that if I might fall asleep, get caught and then get fired.

Then Gina replied, "Vince, I wouldn't do you like that". I felt such gratitude when she said that. The idea that she would take it upon herself to look out for me, to have my back! That really made my night and gave me a newfound confidence that things were going to be ok. That I wouldn't have problems, that I wouldn't get fired and endanger the financial health of myself and my family. On XMAS Eve, what she said felt like a sublime gift.

The wonderful thing is that incident is just 1 example of a good friendship at work. There will be times when we share things and are totally confident that it won't go past the 4 walls of our tele room. There are favors too numerous to mention herein that just make a person know that they're lucky to have met that persona and got to know them.

I remember when I was a young person in my 20s that when I got along really well with a woman, I would want to hug or kiss them. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't so backwards that I would do that arbitrarily, but I certainly would look for the opportunity. But now, I realize there are other elements more noteworthy and meaningful to a relationship than a physical act. If Gina has "my back" that means far more than a kiss or a hug. (& besides, what 20something would want to be hugged or kissed by a fat old man like me, anyway?). That also makes me happy because it makes the relationship that much more stable since neither one of us want to mistakenly try to make more of the platonic, working relationship than it is. Anytime there is stability you have to be very thankful.

I also work at a law firm, and I am good friends with those that I work with as well. & there is the same dynamic that I am old enough to be everyone else's father in the small clerk's office. However, I don't have any relationships as nice as the one with Gina.

Drawing closer in bad times

Maribeth's mother died at 79. She has been sick for awhile. She was afflicted by the MRSA bacteria (Google it if you don't know) for over a month, and she suffered mental illness for nearly 40 years. Maribeth's sister, Diane Duffe, wrote something very nice about her in the online guestbook (which is at http://www.legacy.com/chicagotribune/Obituaries.asp?Page=SearchResults , look under 12/14/2006 for DeMars, Betty Ann)
The wake and funeral were all the same day, Saturday.
We all heard the saying, "When it rains, it pours". On Sunday, after a leak in the 1st Floor bathroom, part of the basement ceiling collapsed. Instead of Maribeth being at her father's place until 11am, she didn't come home until 4. So I said, "Maribeth, I'm sorry about the ceiling. That must have been a real pain! & so soon after the funeral"
Now, usually, Maribeth would go into a monologue of how difficult things are. However, this time she said, "that's ok". I was very impressed because it showed a certain newfound resiliance to her. That could be one of a number of factors why this time we stay together.

In general, we do come upon disagreements (much less than before), but it's only led to 2 or 3 heated arguments, and the arguments aren't the "barn burners" they used to be. So, I'm very encouraged by what has happened since November 5 when I first started living with her again. Plus, a few of the disagreements are my fault. I have a tendency to take clothes I wear and sling them over a chair rather than put them in the hamper or in the alternative hang them up in the closet. So I need to take a little more time in keeping our modest condo more neat.



At the funeral, Diane, my son Andy, and I all give eulogies. One can see the reference I make to getting back together in my eulogy. Also, my wife wrote a eulogy and a poem. Both were very articulate. She also directed me to read from Eclesiates, & the passage read was then turned into a song "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds in the 60s. Here is what I said:


BETTY REMEMBERED
All of us here have been fortunate enough to spend some time with Betty, whether it be a husband, daughter, nephew, grandchild or even a son in law. I’m sure many of you recall how enjoyable it was to watch a movie with Betty because she usually knew all the actors and actresses in the movie. Or sometimes, in a light moment, Betty would sing in her sweet alto voice. But most of all, Betty had a quiet dignity whether it was watching her grandchildren, making a meal, watching her Cubs, and just sitting down and talking to her. Betty also had a strength about her as she faced illness through much of her life.
We are confronted with a great loss as we grapple with her no longer being with us. As Betty now watches down over us from heaven we are given a choice of whether we become weaker as a result of losing someone so dear.
In the alternative, we could strengthen old friendships and seek out new friends. We can be inspired by Betty’s loss and look at what brings us together instead of what tears us apart. We can choose NOT to be diminished by her loss and realize that we too need to be ready when God calls us to heaven." -


ONE LAST THING
I am truly impressed with my youngest brother, Kelly. He and his family were on vacation when Betty died. As they were coming back to Wisconsin (where they live), Kelly's wife and kids went to Milwaukee (where her family is) and Kelly stopped by Tinley Park, IL where the funeral was. Maribeth's father and his 2 daughters had not picked out pallbearers (our job was very abbreviated as there was no *burial service. All we had to do was lift the casket off the cart and into the hearse; it took less than a minute). So during the wake I asked Kelly if he could be a pallbearer, and he gracefully accepted. What he did was nothing short of impressive, and he is greatly appreciated for it.

*No burial service due to financial constraints.

A night at the Daley Ctr, LOOP area of Chicago

We went to the Daley Center and had German food and hot chocalate. The XMAS tree is really about 60 ft. tall but is made up of about 8 pines. Very fun outing.

1st miracle witnessed?

Well, it's official. I'm back with my ex wife. I am giving my landlord 2 months notice as my lease ends Jan. 31. We have no idea what the future holds; we have no plans to vacate the divorce decree. But the fact that I am still paying her child support means that I don't pay by check for household expenses. It's still roughly 50-50, and I'm obviously putting more money into the household than when I lived in Midlothian.

Why did she change her mind?
She thought she had cancer, and I helped her and helped also with the kids. I was there during a crisis. & I've been there to help them and put aside partisanship repeatedly in the past.
Nothing really funky happened during the marriage that made us think it's impossible to go back to ex-spouse. There was no cheating. The relationship went into coma due to combat fatigue - too much arguing.
She said that she was tired and that life was hard without me. In her words, she said she was tired of burning the candle at both ends.

We had our first unresolved fight last night, but the thing is that we do far less arguing than before. I can't say that things are going to be hunky dory from now on. I can't even say we're going to remarry. For right now, we are pooling our money together, saving money and we'll see what happens. I've already told the kids that if, God forbid, the relationship fails, please don't think that they had anything to do with contributing to the failure. I told them that they can only make things better, can only create a positive, not a negative. They understand.

the best news ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have good news but can't tell anyone yet. If you can guess, I'll give you a prize. Write in!!!!!!! Post a comment.

I need you dear reader to share the joy. If you can't do it, I'll continue to go on and be bathed in the glow of this awesome news, but it sure would be nice for you to give me some input.

weather nonsense!

October 12, my daughter's 5th birthday. It's snowing, and from 300 ft. up in the air (I work in a skyscraper) not just snowing but snowing hard.
WTF!!!!!
& since nothing has been working for me since this past spring I couldn't upload a picture of snow because my computer refused to. Oh well. What else can you say, oh well........................

A Flowered Experience

In appreciation of my presence at a party, a small unimposing gift was given to me on Labor Day. For days & weeks the gift laid obscurely amid my collection of pens and coins. Finally, on a dark and solitary Friday night, I embraced the wrapped, dried plant, attached it to a clip, put it to my lips and lit a fire to it.
I inhaled greedily. I inhaled with the hope of never exhaling. I inhaled with the yearning that my circulation, my consciousness and maybe my soul would embrace its essence. Would it elevate me or would its diminutive size yield emptiness? Over and over I inhaled with insatiable need.
HOSANNA, as it revealed it’s euphoria!! The corners of my mouth were lovingly, gently pulled back into a shit-eating grin. My blissful joy recalled a distant memory of getting stoned during Finals Week. My roommate casually looked at me and declared, "God Vince, that’s the first time you smiled all semester!"
Due to my fatigue, my eyes did not close but became slanted. The music from the second side of Abbey Road and the burning fragrance of the roach lifted me to a place I longed for. The music drifted into my altered ears and played far more meaningful, fervent, compelling and sweetly to me than it ever sounded when I was sober. The sublime beauty made me sway back and forth like a metronome. As I played Lennon’s "#9 Dream" and listened to the end lyrics sang in a foreign language, I, myself, faintly felt the power to speak in tongues. The dialect was not Persian, Macedonian nor Hebrew as it was in that scene described in Acts of the Apostles. Instead, I felt the fleeting power to speak Mandarin, Cantonese or Japanese. As the first syllables formed on my lips, I walked away and through a door that allowed me to continue to undulate and immerse myself to the music. I recalled and missed slightly not finding the song "Strawberry Fields Forever". Played in this altered state, the halting opening melody weeps, Lennon’s voice commands a hushed reverence as it sounds so compelling! One other night nearly a generation ago, I sat stoned watching a Grateful Dead concert. The thought, the stream of consciousness is so elevatingly amazing!!. "Wow," I thought, "Jerry Garcia looks like a puppy up there singing. For several minutes (or was it hours?) I imagined in an entranced state a Husky-bred dog being up on it hind legs and strumming guitar artfully and singing, "Truckin’" and other Dead songs.
My mind drifted to another college memory one year before the first. Embracing the charm and essence of hash, I sauntered into the dance club as the music bent and refracted in unique, shimmering, surreal, magical notes. So, I walked up to various people and asked, "Excuse me, but is the music being played at 78?" (78 rpm being the speed of records in the 1940s and 50s, just as 33 rpm was the speed we played our albums and 45 rpm the speed we played our singles). With grace and empathy, no one yelled, "No!" indignantly. All simply considered the possibility, weren’t sure or were simply humoring me and my stoned, clueless presence. Comments were made like, "Maybe" "I’m not sure?" "Well................I don’t....know". As the intoxication wore off, the music slowed down and played as it normally does.
And eventually, I had to leave this lovely ride that Friday night. The music sounded as it usually does, John Lennon sounded articulate but normal. The synthesizers and guitars, all the instrumentation no longer bent and refracted in a hundred beautiful ways. Then I wondered when the next time I would feel this wondrous way again. If history were any indication, I would not for another 6-12 months. This plant, this flowered experience is something I go many, many months and sometimes even years without feeling its wondrous embrace.

This concludes my series about my drug consumption. The series can be found in the blogs of May but more likely June of 2005. Many drugs I did not consume, but obviously, I'm not going to break my arm patting myself on the back. I do feel that I want control in my life. Since drugs don't do that, I rarely take them (unless they 're the ones prescribed). I know that it wasn't much of a series seeing as how there was over a year gap between the last one and 2nd to last one, but apparently to most, this isn't much of a blog!! At least I like it! :)

Part 2 of 2, the alternate of chemistry, traits

Here's what I think is better when looking for the right person. Have certain TANGIBLE expectations of a person. If they don't meet those expectations, then stop dating them or better yet, resolve to be just friends. If they do meet those expectations, keep dating them, once you get to know them (and especially know their weaknesses, bad traits) deepen the relationship. Don't expect chemistry dont expect to be inspired.
Also, here's an example. It would be nice if I met a woman who was really interested in history and politics. But that's not one of my expectations because there's not that many in my area that have that interest. Yet it is important that the woman has a job, wants to follow a budget as much as I do once we live together/marry, has the same spending sensibilities, would like to discuss the Bible, loves my kids and maybe a few other traits.

The point is that I'm not going to torture my prospect with this intangible, nebulous idea that they have to have chemistry with me. & then if they ask what chemistry is I give some pointless circular explanation like "it's a feeling, a gut reaction". That's unfair.

But that's the dilemma and difference between the 2 sexes. & this is a mere generalization and isn't true all the time. I don't pretend to know women or men but there's somethings that I see over and over again. Men emphasize objectivity, facts. Women emphasize feelings, the subjective (BUT the feelings are often based on facts). Men emphasize the cognitive domain; woman the affective domain.

I wish I was wrong when I explain that. I wish that there was some woman in the SW suburban Chicago area who could give me a list of tangible traits that she wants and then it's just a matter of following them. But that probably won't happen. All I can do is keep trying. Hope/pray for the best. This whole process REALLY SUCKS!!

I hate chemistry (not the class either)

on my dating website www.relationships.com we have what's called message boards. Supposing you have a questions about something many guys do and it's hard to figure out. Ask the message board and 100s of guys will see it and some will respond to you. It's a nice forum. so tonight a woman who kind of leads the message board because she is so active in it asked this
Guys, what do you think is "chemistry"?
Here was my reply.

Chemistry is nonsense really. Why give certain things that you want and seek some nebulous, intangible term?!?
If you don't want someone who is 70 lbs. overweight, that's not the desire for chemistry that's the desire to not be with someone morbidly obese.
If you want someone who is physically active, then you don't want chemistry, you want someone with a certain ability to run, bike, skate play a rigorous athletic game.
If you want someone who has a great sense of humor, that isn't chemistry that's seeking a particular personality trait.
Then you get those who say, "Well it's not just looks, it's not just a personality trait."
I say, "Fine, then you want a certain combination of personality traits and personal attributes, that's all. Whatever."
Chemistry has become a bit personal for me, because it's been leading to some major frustration. I've gone out on 4 dates this past summer and with all 4 women I never made it to the 2nd date. (What an admission!) Anyway, 3 out of 4 of the women either told me or their friends who I knew that there wasn't chemistry. After that happened the 1st 2 times, I became very desperate and tried to rewind the date and look at what I had done. I desperately needed to find out what I had done WRONG so that I wouldn't do it again & then hopefully have better results.

Date #4 occurred last Friday. Everything went well. We had great conversation, I was impressed with her, she complemented me at certain points during the date, I even made her laugh. Everything went well from beginning to end. So what happened yesterday? She told me she had a great time. She told me I'm a wonderful person, very good listener, really nice person. She stated I did everything well on the date!! I even asked her if the fact that I'm somewhat overweight (by about 30-50 lbs) had anything to do with her decision and she said no because she had a strong relationship with someone over 300 lbs. But she would not go out with me again because there wasn't enough chemistry between us! She said chemistry is hard to come by. She said if there were 100 guys (and the group had different characteristics both physically and personality wise) she would at the most pick 2 of them because there wouldn't be any chemistry between her & the other 98 or 99.
Well you know what? I can't be upset with this woman at all, primarily because she explained clearly what happened to me when I dated this summer, and I had no idea before. She was very honest, upfront with me and answered all my questions about the aftermath in a very forthright manner. & if she is holding out for the 1 guy who can inspire her/motivate her, well, more power to her, I guess.

But the problem is that it would have been easier if I was doing something wrong on the date. Then I could correct what I was doing wrong and then I could go out on the elusive 2nd date, maybe have that relationship/love I've been looking for. As it stands now, if I date the same type of women I have this summer, I could date 20 or 30 times more (which basically takes us to the end of next year), do everything right on the date and never go on a 2nd date. All because of the dreaded "chemistry". & the thing is that you don't know, really, which women want certain attributes and which ones want the elusive "chemistry". After this summer of dating, I really resent chemistry - that word, that idea, that onerous pursuit.
Part 1 of 2

An ambitious little girl!

My kids are pretty young and if I’m not attentive they can create a pretty big mess in my apartment; however, they are slowly learning to clean up after themselves. Also, my sons are learning how to do laundry, clean the toilet, scrub the sink, sort out laundry and put away clean clothes, etc.

Yesterday, a surprising moment occurred. Minutes after getting the kids situated after their arrival, I decided to sweep and mop the bathroom floor (after not doing so for about 3 months, it seemed like a good idea).
Around the time I was finished mopping and putting things back, my youngest, my 4-yr. old daughter, Brianna, came up to me and said, "I want to mop the kitchen floor, Daddy." So I told her that before we mop the floor, we have to sweep it first. So as I moved objects out of the kitchen, Brianna swept the floor. She even was able to use the broom and the dust pan at the same time. When she mopped the floor she would dip the mop into the bucket but (even after showing her how) she would forget to squeeze the water out of the mop before mopping the floor. So, the floor became almost poolike as Brianna drenched the kitchen floor while mopping it. (That was probably fortuitous because it gave me a 2nd opportunity to wipe the formerly-dirty floor back to cleanliness.) Of course, I gently corrected her, and at the same time wanted to encourage and foster the idea of what a "wonderful activity" sweeping and mopping the floor was. Also, I paid her $2, and she told me where we would spend the money she has saved in her little horsey bank.

So, inspite of my favorite team losing badly, Sunday was a happy day and maybe my floors will get cleaned more regularly than once a season (whether they need it or not)!

Grateful, but want to be quieter

Yes, it's the start of a nice long weekend, but I am less than happy. Now life treats me no better or worse than anyone else (& certainly better than all the billions starving in Africa and Asia), I don't feel unfairly treated. I'm neither angry nor distraught.
Disappointed? Yes maybe a little. So I wrote this.

THE VIRTUES OF RETICENCE
Don’t tell your friend how bad you feel when he or she tells you of their pain and suffering. You’ll only make them feel worse
Don’t dump an upsetting problem on a person who you thought was a friend, but really wasn’t. They’ll think you’re a mental case.
Don’t be sad and downcast to people on Tuesday after telling anyone who cared to listen to you about what a great weekend you will have. People will wonder why you built your hopes so high.
After a life-changing tragedy, don’t tell people how devastated you are, because they will wonder and theorize "what’s really wrong with you".
Only say good, positive things on your first date and put forth a "winning persona". Don’t say anything self-deprecating on your first date or admit any flaws because when they think about whether or not to go out with you again (or even talk to you again) they’ll only remember what you did or said wrong.
If you don’t hear from your 1^st date for a number of days, don’t call them and ask what went wrong. Being the kind, sweet, considerate person she is, she will only give you a kind, sweet, considerate excuse. They’ll tell you about how crazy it’s been at work rather than the fact that they were bothered by you admitting your "little bitty apartment resembled a pigsty".
Don’t get fired at work, because as soon as you leave, people will talk about what a lousy worker you were.
Don’t ever lose your temper no matter what or someone will think that you’re a dangerous sociopath. (Never thinking about what they did to provoke it in the first place.)
Don’t tell someone your upset with, that you’ll never speak to them again. You’ll get the irresistable urge to say something later.
Don’t lose a friend, you’ll have a very difficult time getting them back.
Don’t vent in chat or a message board. Readers are unlikely to feel your points as keenly as you do and they’ll wonder what your problem is. They’ll might even think you’re disturbed.

Remember these famous and not so famous quotes:
Do 200 things well and make one big mistake, guess what people will remember?
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
If you feel good, don’t worry, you’ll get over it!

Oh, but there are a few saving graces: only tell God how frustrated and angry you are. Only tell God that your not sure how to solve a problem. If you admit your mistakes and sins to God, it won’t come back to haunt you later. God won’t hold your past work experiences against you. God won’t make you feel embarassed about the time you couldn’t stand it anymore and cried. God won’t ridicule you if you said the wrong thing.

FREE YOUR MIND

I put this on the Christian dating website that I belong to, Relationships.com. But I think you all could use this as well.

Stop being so judgmental! Try to attempt the following (they won’t hurt)
1. Don’t care about someone’s hair color (brown is as nice as blonde).
2. Stop making judgments and pin it on some obscure mindset in the Bible like someone saying that those who paint their nails purple or black (& doing the same to their hair) are sinful. ( I think it’s even cool that the lead singer of the Breeders, Kim Deal, used black shoe polish to color her hair. Again, my mind has been freed).
3. Don’t worry about the way you dance.
4. Don’t obsess over your clothes, don’t even worry that much about ironing (that’s an AWFUL chore anyway).
5. Don’t cry if you haven’t mopped your floor in a couple weeks or vacuumed the carpet in a week or so (emphasis on the "or so").
6. Have a discussion about politics and religion (not at the same time) with someone (ANYONE). THEY’RE IMPORTANT TOPICS!! Plus, it will have the added benefit of motivating you to stay well informed.
7. Date someone who is 40 lbs. (or more) overweight. They try harder. You’ll find out that you’ll forget about the weight when you see what wonderful personalities they possess.
8. Encourage the lady who is 5'6" and 120 lbs. to eat a large pizza (by herself).
9. Chew some gum on a crowded street and snap it really loud!

In an attempt to free your mind remember or do the following:
1. Remember that most liberals fully support the war in Afganistan.
2. Most liberals aren’t atheists.
3. Most of Western Europe is too liberal (ok enough about politics)
4. Find out where Surinam is.
5. Hear a rock band you never heard before or an obscure band that plays the type of music you enjoy.
6. Find out why 1968 was such a sad year.
7. Find out what time period the US had the longest period of prosperity.
8. Find out where the Straits of Hormuz is.
9. Don’t be so upset when someone thinks differently than you.
10. Don’t be so quick to say that someone is guilty.
11. Things aren’t always the way the seem, and sometimes it’s good to find out why.
12. Most liberals are against gay marriage. It’s true!!

"I choose not to run"

After being on the TMA (Terrace Maintenance Assoc.) Board for 5 years, I am going to call it quits. I have been president since last August. Being at the pinnacle of power (yeah right!), has made me grow tired of helping run the condo so I will retire in November. Let someone else do it.
Accomplishments? I helped settle a lawsuit against the TMA, I have helped with running the pool, have approved (and in some cases, refused to approve) a number of decisions, worked towards keeping the condo complex fiscally stable, been a peacemaker and smoothed over several disputes, listened to numerous complaints and acted on them so that the complainant's grievance was solved.
What is the TMA exactly (see Aug., 2005 as this also give more info about the complex and the people there)? There are 28 building with 6 units in each one. 3 units are 2 bedroom condo units and the other 3 are 1 bedroom units.

The budget is over $200,000. We hire trash haulers, general maintenance contractors, laundry units company, pool attendants for the summer, electricians, & on and on and on. The problem that I have is that certain people don't always give me the situation in the most honest fashion. I have to spend inordinate amount of time finding what really happens. The same person draws numerous complaints some deserved, some not. Then certain board members are trying to circumvent the Cond0 By Laws to hold onto as much power as they can. The newest scheme? Since I am leaving another Board memeber isn't running either, instead of having an election for them as they have each of the last 30 years, they want to go down to a 5 member Board. But the By Laws clearly state that our Board MUST have 7 members! One of my last acts as a President is to stop their foolishness and insure that there will be a an election and not some stupid power grab.
Now if there is someone out there that suggests that I should quit because I need more time to myself, they are right. I need to spend that extra time finding a nice calm woman. That would suit me great, because it was really nice to have such a woman like that this past spring.