wow, a new Title

In Chicago, the fire fighters make a very big deal out of fire drills in skyscrapers.  Our building was built in 1923 and is 46 stories tall.  No one wants to see gruesome deaths by fire, because fire is a very painful way to die, and it's really bad publicity, and, of course, we really  hate when people die premature deaths. 

For instance, in the past, it was standard in the skyscrapers to lock the doors of the stairwells.  Companies, businesses, and law firms  were afraid that criminals, people intent on stealing things, violent people would come up to their  floor from the stairs and do terrible things.  Therefore, they locked the doors.  However, there was a fire in a Chicago skyscraper about 7 years ago.  Since the doors were locked, people inside the stairs couldn't go to floors where there wasn't a fire and they either suffocated or burned to death.  Therefore, the City of Chicago banned locking stair doors. 

When you're in a skyscraper and there's a fire drill, you don't have to walk from your floor all the way down to the 1st floor.  In many cases that would be walking thousands of steps and going down 20 or more floors.  Basically, you go several floors down and the fire fighter supervising the drill tells you how you did.  Today, they lectured 2 people NOT to carry their coffee or favorite beverage with them if there's a fire, because first, you can buy another beverage after successfully surviving the fire, and more importantly, you may spill your drink and slow down people walking downstairs.

Before today's fire drill, I was formally given the title, ELEVATOR MONITOR. I am to guard against anyone taking an elevator down to the 1st floor either during a drill or an actual fire.  Obviously, if there's a fire, an elevator is one of the last places you would want to be especially when it breaks down or ceases to function due to the fire.  So, my office manager exhorted me to be an intimidating presence making sure no one thinks of getting on an elevator (yeah, RIGHT).  Then, I am one of the last people to leave the floor (to prevent stragglers from using elevator). 

It was pretty funny, because before the fire drill, they gave handbooks out and spelled out the titles of those people who were to help insure a safe fire drill or safe evacuation if there was a fire.  & there I was Vince __, ELEVATOR MONITOR.  They even listed who my subsitute was if I wasn't lucky enough to be around during a fire or a drill.  They even wrote a paragraph with bullet points on what I was to do.  I feel so official now  (not!).