I was on the train & I made an alarming and really embarassing discovery. There's a woman/"casual friend" that I ride the train with (about once a week for the last 2 years, sometimes more, sometimes less). I realized after sitting next to her yesterday and today that I can't stand sitting next to her.
Why?? At first it was hard to figure out. But then I realized that it was b/c she talks so much and she has a very nasal, guttural voice that's irritating to listen to. Monday, I was on an earlier train so I didn't expect to see her, but she was early that morning and took the same train and got into the same train as me. She sat next to a perfect stranger and talked the whole 35 min. to her. I guess that should be impressive that she can engage a stranger to hold a conversation w/ her so effortlessly!! But for me it was very hard to listen to. & today, she talked on the train I would usually see her, and I just felt almost like getting up and walking away from her.
BUT I CAN'T! B/c I am not only friends w/ her but 3 other people and if I walk away from her, I'm walking away from my other friends. I can't do that. I feel very embarassed, b/c this woman has always been nice to me, has NEVER done anything mean to me. I've even seen her during church. So, I'm feeling a lot of guilt. I always pictured myself as this NICE, cool, urbane person. Now that I have these feelings, I feel like a misanthrope, like a nasty person.
Why?? At first it was hard to figure out. But then I realized that it was b/c she talks so much and she has a very nasal, guttural voice that's irritating to listen to. Monday, I was on an earlier train so I didn't expect to see her, but she was early that morning and took the same train and got into the same train as me. She sat next to a perfect stranger and talked the whole 35 min. to her. I guess that should be impressive that she can engage a stranger to hold a conversation w/ her so effortlessly!! But for me it was very hard to listen to. & today, she talked on the train I would usually see her, and I just felt almost like getting up and walking away from her.
BUT I CAN'T! B/c I am not only friends w/ her but 3 other people and if I walk away from her, I'm walking away from my other friends. I can't do that. I feel very embarassed, b/c this woman has always been nice to me, has NEVER done anything mean to me. I've even seen her during church. So, I'm feeling a lot of guilt. I always pictured myself as this NICE, cool, urbane person. Now that I have these feelings, I feel like a misanthrope, like a nasty person.
1 comment:
Uh...I can understand what you mean, though. Back at the uni there was this guy whom we (my friends and I) befriended with for a while...at first it was fine that he talked SO much (MUCH MUCH MUCH more than a guy usually talks)...but after a while we grew tired of his talking.
Enough is enough...we didn't want to be mean but we started separating ourselves from him 'coz it was just too much. I know your situation is harder 'coz you go on the same train a lot. :-((( It's really hard to know what to do on these type of situations.
I think it's pretty normal to feel this way sometimes - one best friend even told me that she sometimes feels her hubby talks TOO much, so don't feel too bad, Vince! Maybe you can "pretend" to sleep while listening to some music (if you have?)? Sorry I can't give you any input.
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