more concerns w/ son

I spoke with my son’s psychologist as my oldest son, Andy, has Asperger’s Syndrome. The problem has been a precipitous drop in grades from 6th grade to 7th grade. The homework situation which was a problem last year is worse this year. You may remember Andy as I wrote about him falling off the balcony this past September.

The psychologist said that going to 6th to 7th grade is very difficult even for normal kids b/c they give far more schoolwork and academic responsibility to kids at that age. Andy simply can’t keep up to the considerably higher expectations.
I then said to him, “In 5 short years, Andy will be 18 out of high school and will need to get a job. How is he going to handle an 8 hr job if he’s having such a hard time now?”
“He WON’T be able to handle an 8 hour job. I’m not in the prediction business, and I never say ‘never’, but I doubt he would make it in an environment like McDonalds when he’s 18. He will have to have a job where he works 4-6 hours. He may have to telecommute and work at home.”
That was very sobering to hear that my son’s job/vocational prospects are already limited. Not by a lot, but definitely some. But now we at least have some idea of what we are up against. We are going to have to dial down our expectations somewhat. We are going to have to do an effective job of mixing rewards and punishments so that he is a motivated student. This has become more difficult than I imagined.

When I wrote about this in my support group, there was a pretty strong reaction, it sounded like the Dr. was giving up on him. I don't feel he was at all. He did NOT say that he couldn't work at all. He said that in certain conditions, he would succeed at work, and in other conditions he would not succeed. Now when you read that, doesn't that situation sound similar to the situation you or I am in? It sure does to me. I do not work well with hyper bosses. If they are going to fly off the handle every other minute, I want my paycheck from somewhere else!!

The fact is that we can't be in the prediction business about what will happen when he graduates from high school. We simply have to take it one week at a time and make sure that he's doing his homework and studying enough for his exams. There has to be more verifying. I used to be in the habit of simply asking him, "Andy, are you done with your homework?" and he would say "yes". That was it then, and then I would later learn that he didn't do all the homework.

Now, we verify things and use a computer program, RenWeb, which lists their grades and their homework. Every now and again things fall through the cracks because neither he nor Ren Web have the schoolwork listed or I might even forget that something is listed on RenWEb, and he will miss his homework that way.

I would like to think there will come a time that Andy will be more responsible with homework and learn to study better. Until that day comes, MB & I are spending a lot of time with Andy!

The question is how much does Aspergers affect his grades and doing well? It seemed that Aspergers doesn't affect cognitive function as he does show that he's intelligent, but things like organization which is something he really needs aren't exhibited. There is going to be a meeting with the Special Ed. teacher (that has specialized training on handling kids with mental or physical disabilities), social worker, principal and me in January, and we will discuss again the strategies for making this a successful school year for Andy.